All Comments on 'Occultation'

Me: "It's really getting late, I should turn in."

Also Me: "Ooh, new story by Wanda? Sleep is for the weak!"

Brilliant! I'm almost a little embarassed by this, but I've (again) taken to checking this website every day first thing in the morning, because for a while now there's been a reason to be excited about it. Maybe there's a new Wanda story and who in their right minds would miss that? This truly is the nicest possible thing to start the day with (I know your story suggest cuddling, or maybe sex, but they live in a sadly inferior parallel universe where I imagine Wanda stories are off the table entirely. It really is quite tragic when you think about it. If you want to remedy that, by all means - you can go full meta on yourself, we'll get a new story out of it, there's literally no downside).

I will say that I found the way his obtuseness (is that even a word) was dialed up to eleven, while understandable, quite infuriating - probably the intended effect, but it made me wonder if the real villains weren't the friends he made along the way, or something to that effect. Surely someone would have dropped a non-missable hint at some point? It did make the eventual head on crash more satisfying, though, and that's something.

Anyway. Thank you again for taking the time to write, edit, and publish these! I'm was not being sarcastic or anything - they really brighten up my days considerably.

I am an old guy and I have enjoyed all your stories.

This resonates strongly with a LONG 'relationship' in my own life. It did not have a happy ending for me, when I determined that I would not CHOOSE to be a doormat in her life. I thought of her every day for the next twenty years.

I was glad to see some folks be happy together.

I don't mean to sound so pathetic, but you probably just made my day, at least the morning. I was so deeply into your story that you could've misspelled ( it ) and I wouldn't of noticed. A lot of things could be said about your story, but mainly just a sincere and heartfelt, Thank You. 5's

Exquisite, not sure if I have ever read something quite so beautiful.

Another fabulous story! The slow burn of his “obtuseness” (if it’s not a word, it should be!) is just excruciating. It goes on and on for pages, and I loved every minute! As always, I love the authentic actual settings, and your exquisite character development. You write such likable characters, so I have to root them on to do the right thing!

Also as always, thank you for writing, and thank you especially for sharing your work.

OMG…how I love your stories and writing style and this is one of your best thus far. Thank you!

Damn but that is a fine story. Excellent story line and character development. Your writing skills are off the chart. This one will go in my favorites to revisit many times in the future, hell I may just reread it yet again today.

Wonderful. Thanks for showing how love needs to be expressed as early as possible. Fear and insecurity can cause lost moments. A pleasure to read. K

Another great story!!!!

Lovely. And that's all I have to say.....

Unfortunately an all to often story for men, we never pick up on the cue's until it's too late. Been there, done that, wish I had the fucking t-shirt. On second thought not, I'd have a closet full of them. Now all I can do is write about what I should have done...

500 stars if I could.

I loved this, it hits close to home for me as I lost a friend because of my obliviousness. I never thought she'd be interested in me and reading this was like reliving that anxiety of hiding my feelings. 5* for the happy ending. Megan, I hope you are loved and well.

It's amazing that you manage to continuously improve a product that is already outstanding! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful talent with us.

Wonderfully written story - it’s become one of my favorites!!

Everything flowed really well! I was enthralled with the writing and the progression of the story until page 2 or page 3. But then the story took a dive for me.

The MC is so dumb I personally just want the female lead to move on. You root for him for the first 2 pages, but when the writing is on the wall and you’re just laying down hint after hint after hint where you’re just bashing the reader with a hint bat and yet the MC is still oblivious to the whole situation, you start to root against him. I know where the story will lead cause it’s posted under romance and I just had to stop reading.

Absolutely fantastic story! Lived the description of the settings and the long build up. The characters were excellent as well.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Very nice love story

If only my writings could be half as good.

Keep throwing them at us Wanda, and perhaps let us know of your works away from here so that we can enjoy those too.

Oh and thanks for the little piece of information about Llandudno on the coast of South Africa. I live close to it’s namesake in North Wales.

The highest praise I can offer - I would very much like to live in the worlds you create in your writing. Thank you.

I love your stories so much. I assume you wanted the readers to feel as frustrated as the main characters. The story would have been three pages long if they had a two minute honest conversation at the beginning. But then I would have missed out on four more pages of your writing. Thanks. I look forward to reading your next offering.

Wanda thank you for this wonderful story. 5 stars. You have a way with words that few can match. Please keep your stories coming, they make me smile, they make me cry. But I always know when I see a new story by you that it will move me in many ways. Please always be true to yourself Wanda.

So he is blind to her attraction to him - that's his fault and he has to apologise. She is blind to his attraction to her - somehow that's also his fault and he has to apologise! How does that work?

I'm sorry but this was telegraphed from so far out that it just had no impact at all. One of Wanda's weakest stories.

Wish I could give it ten stars! Wow.

What the... ? I don't follow onehitwanda? Well, let me fix that right now. Done.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Gripping story, even though it’s hard to imagine that level of non-communication can exist between adults. Beautifully written, nonetheless. ❤️

If people would just out and say what they felt,

then we'd have honest emotional chaos,

instead of occluded emotional chaos.

Sometimes, that'd be much better. Sometimes.

Just plain fabulous and more than heart warming. Great writing. At times it felt like someone needed to give the poor fool a hearty kick in the butt however that made for a wonderful build up of tension and fuelled the intrigue of how you would bring things to a conclusion.*****

What a sweet romance.

God I love you .. when I saw your name pop up in my list today I was all smiles .. and as always you never disappoint. I cried reading this story … I’m so glad they finally got together.. thanks for this wonderful story. I look forward to more .. thanks again .. 🥰🥰😍😍

Seven pages and basically nothing happens that couldn't have been presented in 2 pages. The plot was an old chestnut and was obvious from page 1. I found it amazing that Jamie didn't express one thought of jealousy when he knew Fee was screwing other guys. And we certainly heard enough of his whining about how much he loved her, but was afraid he'd scare her away if he expressed his love for her. Two dummies and maybe a third - me for spending the time reading about two really stupid people. It's too bad the author didn't find some way to create some tension in the middle of all that dialog and whining. I generously gave this a 3*, but it really wasn't that good. I just hope I remember the author's name so I can avoid any further contact with his writings.

Really enjoyed the story!

5

A beautiful story, superbly written. You never fail to deliver.

Lovely story. I really enjoyed it. It was pretty obvious there was more than friendship going on. I'm glad you had them ending up together. Very sweet, if somewhat fraught.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

You are an amazing writer. Thoroughly enjoyed this story. The fear of losing a friend when you are in love with them is very real. You captured that so well. Thank you.

Best love story I read in some time. So credible, yet painful to feel while reading. they are so real, so dumb and so dramatically in love.

Congrats

Good story. I almost lost patience while they circled each other like fighters looking for an opening ... telling each other finally of their love before moving into the senior home. Not quite but close.

Perfect. Wonderful. I have been there.

That is a really good story and I enjoyed it. But your two main characters were so infuriatingly stupid that it became a tad tedious, to be honest.

that was nice made me feel good and sad at the same time well done be well happy and safe a fan shayne

Absolutely delicious. But dang, how _dense_ can he be? She’d been trying to tel him but feared hurting him so much. Gosh. So glad they talked it through properly over the phone, I was ready to drive over and tell them myself! :D

Another *hit*, thank you Wanda!

A couple of thoughts: It took waaaay too long to get to the typical romantic ending. Jamie was clearly on the spectrum and that angle could of/should of been explored a bit more. I had trouble generating much sympathy for her unless she’s on the spectrum as well. Attractive and popular women frequently have little to no idea how intimidating they can be to men, expect men to read their minds and then shoot men down if they over read the situation. (This is not female bashing as I love women. It’s just an observation I’ve made over the years of watching many how attractive women function.)

I really liked the writing, and the great use of dialogue to advance the story. There was a bit in the middle when I thought 'can he be this stupid' but then I thought lack of self confidence can do things like that to a person, remembering my own youth, and it's a story so, yes, the author can write it anyway she pleases. And it was a a very pleasing story.

A very well written story, as per usual with this author. But the storyline got tedious after a while, even maddening. I just kept thinking, NOBODY can be that damned stupid. I put part of the blame on Fee, but she did give him plenty of clues. Oh well, maybe I’ll read it again, maybe there’s a legitimate reason for Jaimie’s cluelessness.

Excellent, as always. When I become a grown up writer, I want to be OneHitWanda.

You’re spoiling us with all these stories back to back 💜

As to others’ comments about being “too” oblivious, please note that anyone who was abused in childhood to believe he has no self-worth is going to behave almost exactly like the protagonist. He’ll be utterly terrified of “reading a signal” incorrectly and cripple himself into inaction, often for years. And certainly not just with relationships. Even if he improves himself and his standing later in life–physically (I took particular note of the yachting comment), economically, whatever–that self-doubt is always going to be there. It’s always going to hold him back.

So there’s that. Other commenters should simply be happy that they weren’t damaged in their youth such that this story seems “unrealistic” to them. The rest of us didn’t see anything wrong with that aspect of it. Cheers, OHW.

Oh, that was so good. Not just because it was a great story and wonderfully told, but also because it took me back to those places in CT. Fishing off the rocks at Muizenberg after a day slaving in Fish Hoek, followed by a fish braai on the beach. The treelined roads of Constantia in Autumn. Riding a bike at speed around Chapman's Peak. Doing the wine route on impulse. And falling in love there.

Damn Wanda, that was painful, maddening, saddening and incandescently happy in various stages, it was also a masterclass in pretty much every area of writing and storytelling I can think of. Thank you!

Re the Anon comment, us chaps can be quite dim and unperceptive at times when it comes to hidden signals we are *meant* to read clearly, I know - I’ve been there, and felt daft afterwards, our protagonist is socially awkward at the beginning of the story, hence being one of the “Kitcheneers”, so it’s odds on that confidence with girls and self worth aren’t going to be in the high percentages and iirc NoraFares commented that “This is closer to home”, so I’m guessing that someone the Author knows really is (and I quote anon) “that damned stupid”.

Brilliant. I had to wait for this one but as always, it was worth it.

Once again a Wandawork with superb narrative that never gets in the way but like a masterful drum beat, carries the story through the high notes. Painting with words.

Bebop3, your compliment has a lot of weight seeing as you are one of the best.

Wonderful. So raw and intimate.

* * * * *

This obvious comment is hardly incisive, but throughout I was thinking, "Argh! What is wrong with you people? Just say something!"

Once again onehitwanda wrote an excellent story that brings an emotional response. Thank you very much for writing.

I'm certain that this ilicits memories for a great many. Some of being dense and unable to recognize all the signs, and some for being in long distance relationships that seem hopeless. As usual this is easily understood and heartfelt. You done good!

I must say, this one hurt. Probably because of all the memories it stirred up. Unfortunately for me it's what could have been, the one that got away. Absolutely fantastic writing as always Wanda.

Hurts too much.

Fucking Amazing!!!!!

Why is it just Jamie’s fault?! I think Felicity and Katie were super hard on him. Why couldn’t Felicity say something earlier? She blamed Jamie for something he didn’t know. Then Katie dumps on him like that. Seriously?! This story didn’t stir feelings for me. It pissed me off. I hope Felicity is nicer to Jamie now. Honestly, he’s better off without “friends” that treat him like that.

Both of them tried to keep their feelings hidden to avoid alienating and potentially losing the other while not being observant of the tell-tale signs they should have been receiving. I think many people go through that to at least some extent but they're not observant enough to realize what they're missing. In this case, we have a very well-written, very emotional story that takes Fee and Jamie to the tipping point and beyond before Kate and Fate get out a winch and start reeling them back up. Great work with an excellent ending, too.

So far I’ve read two of your stories and they are two great stories.

Close to perfection. Thank you.

Oh, man, I was dreading reaching the end of this story, because I was SURE it was going to end in tragedy. Thank God I was wrong. I really needed this today.

I, too, am wondering why Jamie was given so much blame. Was Felicity incapable of picking up a phone and initiating contact? They were both shitty at communicating.

I just reread this story and then looked at my comments from my original reading. I admit my criteria have changed in the several months since the first reading, but I still think that there might have been some opportunity for one of these two dummies to hint that they really cared for each other. I have become so enamored of the style that the plots are of less importance. I'll have to try to balance my views. Poor plots should not be excused in favor of great literary legerdemain. This time I rated it 4*.

Liked it, but you took the obliviousness a couple pages too far. Sorry. 3/5

While this story tortured readers at least a few times because of how incredibly daft Jamie was, there's blame to go around for Felicity and especially Kate: both could have said something--especially Kate. I rated this a 5, but one poster did point out something I missed, which was there had to be something wrong with Jamie for him to miss THAT MANY signals. I've been daft in the past, but I would NEVER miss THAT many signals had I ever gotten them. She touched his hand, she sought him out, she shared VERY personal information, she confessed to him (in a slightly hidden way) that she loved him and even threw herself at him literally right before she almost ended it. So yes, it kind of points to some form of abuse Jamie had to suffer to refuse to see what's right in front of him, but total stupidity on Kate's part for not sharing it with him about how Felicity felt.

That aside, lots of tender moments and a wonderful message about being oneself and keeping things uncomplicated. Kind of sad to read that in a romance tale, since it appears too many overcomplicate relationships in real life and don't let others truly be themselves until they realize they've been total pricks or b**ches then try to salvage it. Perhaps that was the subtext hidden in all this.

I still greatly enjoyed reading it and thank you for such a wonderful tale.

I agree with many of the previous comments, but for me muskyboy pretty much nailed it. The story of two half brain-dead clueless people who couldn’t figure out that they loved each other was interesting for the first page or two, but dragging it out for two or three more pages just turned the whole story tiresome. The author is, in my opinion, a wordsmith of the highest order but possibly this one just got away from her.

Frustrating beyond limits. There's a lot of Jamie in many of us but my goodness, I wanted to light a fire under his butt on about pg3. I grew up in Cape Town so loved the references to beaches and places. onehitwanda you are extremely well talented and have an incredible way with words. Love reading your stories. A bit drawn out but another 5 from me. Well done 🤗 🌹

For me, this is your weakest story. Unrequited love, I get that. But he loses all of his friends because he does not pick up on almost non exeistant hints? He does what she asks when they do hook up & gets yelled at again?

Many of your stories have made me cry, this one made me roll my eyes and walk away.

I still look forward to your future stories

Peach

everyone who thinks no one can possibly be that stupid...combine childhood emotional abuse with autism and you have both me and Jamie in a nutshell. I promise you it is very possible (unfortunately). for the people around him? I'm less certain about because being neurodivergent I've always had a very hard time understanding why other people do what they do.

This story is the one I love to hate. Still a 5 mind you, but frustrating to the max up until the final few pages.

Stopped reading at page 3, it was too painful. I get it. He is oblivious, he doesn't get ANY hints, he is shy and doesn't want to intrude.

BUT (and this is a very big BUT): girls (and especially Felicity), what's up with you?? Where is female empowerment when you need it? If your'e interested and he doesn't get it, but doesn't actively reject you, DO THE FIRST (and second, if needed) step.

stbkvln mentioned autism, that was my take on Jamie. As far as Felicity, if she really was outgoing and friendly then it looked like she was denying herself when it came to him.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Of course I am too frustrated about the amount of time our lovebirds tiptoed around each other, but than again, the whole ordeal was so deliciously delivered. You really took me along with their rollercoaster ride, the doubts, the conflicting emotions, the mayhem, the catharsis, finally solution and fulfilment. 5 stars granted while some dust induced tears are drying.

While I really enjoyed this story and will give it a 5, some things weren't really all that believable.

For one his friends. It should be quite obvious that he is that dense and possibly on the spectrum, why would noone pick up on that?

Same for her, as she apparently is just as socially inept (no offense at all here), so why did none of their friends bother to help out until it's almost to late?

While some men may be dense, there's a limit to it. We usually tend to be overly conscious, so the complete opposite.

Be that as it may, the story was written beautifully. Tremendous work, really.

Maybe a future story about two individuals on the spectrum trying to figure each other out and building a relationship would be nice, if that's something you'd be interested in.

I know some autistic people and have seen their struggle to interprete gestures, mimic etc correctly. It takes them a lot of effort but the end result is usually very impressive. So much so that one of the ones I know works as a psychiatrist and is probably better at identifying emotions than "normal" people.

I'd love to read something like that from you.

Among the many things I very much appreciate about your writing is the high quality of the language itself, with its wonderful specificity and detail, your precise choosing of words and nuances, and your demand that the reader keep up. I have always adored authors who force me to go to definitions to make sure I'm getting the complete measure of things, and you are one of only a few on this site who make me do that as a natural part of your process, as opposed to simply being ostentatious or writerly. Thanks!

You are becoming on of my favorite authors. I just finished this story, sadly the last of your romance stories, and I can’t wait for another.

The way you write the natural casual banter between characters is amazing. It reminds me of the way my wife and I banter back and forth, playfully, and in a way that only we can.

Being American, I don’t always understand certain words. But your writing does not hinge on that and it is still easy to follow.

Looking forward to your next romance.

Possibly projection on my part rather than anything concrete in the text, but I was certain for the first quarter of this tale that the speaker was a trans woman as yet unaware of her gender. The sublimated desire for Felicity reads very similarly to "goals"; coupled with the assumption that Felicity was gay, it was easy for me to imagine this taking a lesbian twist. The actual story turned out to be simpler than all that, but no less enjoyable. I share my (incorrect) response not as any criticism, but perhaps as an illustration of how confusing these things truly can be to navigate. I empathized deeply with both characters—and I pitied them for their shit friends. There comes a point when a friend's refusal to shed light on a communicative impasse becomes harmful. Kate should have done better... but this story is not about her, even if she is its lynchpin. Thank you for sharing these delightful agonies and releases. This is angst done very, very well. I am envious and grateful.

Sweet.

But two dumber people, the world has never known.

This was your most gut-wrenching story and after reading it for the first time a couple of days ago, I keep coming back to it - I guess I'm a slut for the feels! The break-up was almost a physical blow, but it made Jamie's finally standing up for himself with Kate and the reconciliation with both and then Fee so much sweeter.

You mention at the start that the story was closer to home; I hope that any situation similar to your own life was able to heal and come together as this did.

Outstanding!! I loved the characters! Thanks for writing it!

Sweeter than the sugar. Such a sugar-yyyy tale. Loved it more than we should. ❤️

One of your best. I was so caught up in the story. Made me smile then cry then erect. Thank you for the stories. Mike

I can't imagine Wanda in this situation. Ah yes, maybe I can. The hopeless romantic ;-) I cried through the last three pages, but as usual everything turned out OK.

You have nailed this story! Truly lovely and so so real, the feelings of not wanting to lose what you have and knowing you love someone but frightened to tell them! Unfortunately not all of these stories end happily!

Your writing is so good!

As you said at the beginning ' this one is closer to home', I hope for your sake it ended like your story!

Thank you so much for sharing!

You described perfectly the feelings we dense mortal men go through when faced with a genuine goddess. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

There really is a gap in the market. Needs to be a shop selling half bricks that are personalised with messages like. "I really want to bump uglies with you" and others of that ilk. Women will buy these to throw at the person of their choice (some men too) who don't pick up on social cues (most men lol) and if that doesn't work then they can just hit them really hard with said brick 🤣 BardnotBard (owner of more than one brick thrown at me)

You are my favorite writer here, hands-down.

OMG, what a lovely, lovely story. Beautifully written. Convincing. Moving. Made me smile and laugh and cheer.

A patented rollercoaster ride ….. but really, this was stretching the patience as this poor simple mind man was so brave and the girls Fee as well Katie didn’t offered any advice …. That could have saved years of agony ….. a truly cute lovely tale and great idea

💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝✨☘️

I know you know how to write a good character. You outdid yourself with Jaime. I have never read a character so clueless in my life. I just wanted to take my hands around his throat and throttle him. Slam him up against a wall a few times and get his attention. I know this is a work of fiction, but DAMN! Felicity should also share some of this failure to communicate, but like some women maybe she thought the man should admit first.

I am relieved they finally got together. (About time). Here’s hoping it’s along time together.

Take care.

How you make my life feel so memorable in words is amazing, thanks.

Jaime was the densest dumba$$. He was worse than your king charlie giving up Diana for Carmilla the gorilla. I love the story and gave it 5***** stars