All Comments on 'Ocean Apart Pt. 04'

Thank you for this story as I've really enjoy following these three characters as they develop.

Out - Freckin - Standing

I anxiously await each installment of this fine tale.

Lovin' the dynamic between the three. You've handled it so well! It'll be interesting if the parents will accept their new lifestyle. Like the tension and buildup! Well done! Chapter 5 soon???

I really am enjoying this story. There's something extra hot about 3 people being in love and the seual fun they can have.

Great job on this chapter. 5⭐ for me

Incredibly great story

I was caught in Chapter One. Your ability to develop the pain and anger between the siblings was one of the better ones I have read. The pain could almost be felt. And the confusion factor of your protagonists was nicely done. My only problem is two-fold. First, every time you wrote something like "me and Paul" made my teeth grind. Proper grammar is "Paul and I". Of course, I have no clue where you live and work, so it may be a common usage there. Second, there were times when your use of punctuation was confusing and, in some cases, totally incorrect. Both are minor points compared to the quality of the story line and your ability to captured and hold your readers. WELL DONE!

Great story, please continue!! The dynamic between the three is priceless. Some flashbacks of Sam and of Paul as their love for each other grew, denied or not would be a nice inclusion. It was obvious that her love for him was in denial for a long long time, and his was recognized but repressed. An easy segue would be for Aimee to ask them in hindsight how long they have been in Love with each other. He already thinks she hung the moon, what made him start to feel that way would be something that might shock her. How his love for Aimee happened would also be nice and it is an easy question for Sam to ask after Aimee's question.

Great story. I don't remember reading about the final soccer game. Who won?

You need to end this with some babies and be done with it. It has gotten a bit boring and repetitious. It is well written, but too long.

I love the story but I kind of thought Paul and Sam would get married, especially if they are going to have kids. Will there be more chapters of these three or is this the end? At any rate gets a 5/5 from me.

I've finished the last of this series, and I'm very impressed with it all. I think you've done an excellent job, and I can't wait to read more of your stories...Good work, Middleson!

MP

very enjoyable

What ever happened to chapter 5?

One of the best stories on Lit! Hopefully you will feel well enough to finish this amazing story one day.

Great story and character development. Where is the finale? The only real issue with these four chapters is the huge overuse of the word “fervent” and its derivatives. Throw some other adjectives in there. We need more of these three people!

Aimee ruins all of it