Of Heaven and Hell, My Side Ch. 02

They all laughed...that is what Zack does best ...make people laugh. He is so wonderful, he isn't worried about what people think but just that they laugh. It's what I love about him.

Standing there talking I realized that I am so in love with him that I would never even think of him being anything but being my love. Him being mine and me his. I wouldn't want to live without him, in fact don't think that I could live without him now.

We left the hotel and walked a few blocks to a small intimate restaurant and had a wonderful meal. We sat close, touching and kissing throughout the meal. Afterwards, we walked for a while and stopped and got a bottle of wine.

We went into the hotel and stopped at my room for a change of clothes. I had the panel discussion tomorrow morning and I wanted to dress for the part. We then took the elevator to the thirtieth floor.

Zack had a lovely spacious suite. The large picture window looked over the Arch and the Mississippi River. We cuddled on the sofa and Zack opened the bottle of wine and poured two glasses. We sat there on the couch sipping our wine and looking out of the window. It was so beautiful, seeing the boats, the barges and the paddle wheels. It was wonderful. I hugged Zack. I was in heaven.

We sat there and watched. We were together and we were happy. I couldn't think of a time when I was happier. I was loved. I was loved by Zack and I loved him. What could be better?

Could I spend the rest of my life with him? Would that make me happy? Is that what I really wanted? Right now, it was, but how would I feel in the morning when I was alone? Would I feel the same way?

I wanted to, but there were the doubts that have been plaguing me all week. I wanted to be sure...I wanted to know...but I didn't.

We sat there looking out onto the river and began to talk about our lives. He told me that he had dated some but never had a real relationship.

I was surprised about that and told him so. He smiled and said, "Carol, I fell in love with you that first day in homeroom. I know that I have always loved you. Maybe I wasn't doing it consciously, but I think that I was comparing all other women to you...and they lost."

I smiled and said, "Zack, you will meet a woman who you can love, I know it."

He laughed and said, "I already have, I met her here on Sunday evening."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh my love, what am I going to do with you?"

He smiled and said, "Kiss me."

He leaned over and put his lips against mine and we kissed. My arms went around him and I held him tightly. I felt such love for Zack that it almost hurt. My heart ached for him, I wanted him with a hunger that I didn't understand.

I broke the kiss and almost groaned, "Zack, please love me...please."

He picked me up in his arms and carried me into the bedroom, taking me over to the huge king sized bed and he lay me on top of the covers. The bed had been turned down and there was a small candy on each of the three pillows.

I handed him a candy and said, "Here have something sweet before bed."

He took the candy and put it on the night table and laughed, "I have something much sweeter than candy." And he leaned over and kissed me.

I looked around and giggled, "God this bed is huge, I could get lost in it."

Zack said in a low voice, "Let's get lost together."

I was overtaken by an unbelievable desire for him and I began to tear his clothes off of his body. I wanted his skin next to mine, to feel the closeness of our naked bodies pressing against one another.

He joined me in that passion and we were soon naked. Our clothes were thrown all over the bedroom. Our naked bodies were pressed together and our lips mashed against each other's. I pushed him onto his back and got on top of him, straddling his hips. I lifted my hips and took his cock in my hand and guided it into me.

I ever so slowly lowered myself onto his phallus, luxuriating in the fullness and pleasure that only Zack could bring. I just sat there with him fully ensconced inside of me. I closed my eyes and I smiled. This was joy, this was happiness, this is what I wanted...wanted for the rest of my life.

I looked down at my love and smiled. He was looking at me, at my face and into my eyes. His stare penetrated me as if he were looking into my soul, that he could see all of my secrets, all the love that I had for him.

I felt like I was open to him. Not only my body but my entire being, my hopes, my dreams, my joys and my sorrows. There were no secrets from Zack, he knew all.

I said in almost a whisper, "I love the way that you look at me. It makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I hope that you always look at me like that."

He smiled and said, "I will always look at you like this, because you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

I smiled at him and bent over and kissed him. Just light butterfly kisses on his lips, his nose, his forehead, his cheeks. I kissed him all over his face. As I kissed him I began to move on him.

Slowly, at first, just moving my hips forward and back. Luxuriating in the feeling of my love in me. He was filling me in a most wonderful way. In a way I wanted. In a way that made me feel complete. I was now a whole person. I was loved and I loved. What more is there in this world?

I became more and more animated in my love making and I rode my Zack like a mad woman. I rode him like my life depended on it. I wanted him in me, I loved him like nothing else in my life.

Then the colors came back. The blue of delight, the red of passion and the white of ecstasy. I was enveloped in the blinding white of ecstasy, the star that was my love exploded, I exploded into a million pieces. I was scattered all throughout the universe not here not there, but a part of my love and he a part of me.

I was no longer Carol. I became something...someone different. There was no going back to what I was and the truth be known I didn't want to go back. I loved what I had become and I wanted to remain like this forever. I wanted to be a part of Zack, yes I would marry my beloved and become his wife. I would become Mrs. Zachary Miller.

Ever so slowly we came back to reality, leaving that world of rapture and bliss behind. But knowing that we would be returning there soon, together...always together. Zack lay back and I rested my head on his chest and the next thing I knew, the room was filled with sunlight. I turned and saw Zack up on his elbow looking at me and smiling.

"Good morning, my love," he said with a smile.

"Good morning," I answered. "What time is it?"

"Only nine fifteen, we have plenty of ...Oh damn, we have to move," he moaned as he jumped out of the bed and headed for the bathroom and shower.

"Where are you going? I was hoping for...oh God, the panel discussion...I have to get going," I said as I realized that I had to be in the lobby in forty-five minutes.

When I got to the bathroom the shower was running, warning up. Zack was brushing his teeth and he handed me my toothbrush. As I started to cleanse my mouth he got into the shower and said, "Hurry, we don't have much time."

I quickly joined Zack and we washed. When we got out I was clean and once again filled with my Zachary's love.

We both were in the lobby, meeting with our respective directors in plenty of time. I glanced over to Zack as Margaret and I walked toward the conference room. Zack was walking towards the opposite side of the lobby with the coordinator of the Symposium. He looked over at me and smiled.

I felt so warm and good as Margaret and I went to the conference room. We were set up rather quickly and the questions started. At first I was watching the clock, it didn't seem to be moving. Someone asked me a question and I only heard the second part. They had to repeat it. I had to start to pay attention.

I forgot all about the time and just enjoyed the exchanges between the panel and audience. I was having a really good time. Finally, Margaret interrupted and said that we had to end as we had already run over out allotted time.

Now I looked at the clock. We were almost a half hour past the allotted time. I then realized that Zack must be looking for me. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. But it seemed that with every step I took toward the door another person would stop me with questions.

After what seemed like hours, I got to the door and made my escape. I ran through the halls, not looking at anything just thinking about getting to Zack. Then I felt a pair of hands grab my waist and pick me up.

At first I was surprised and then I came back to the real world and found that I was in Zack's arms. I lifted my face and kissed his lips. I didn't care who, if anyone saw us. I just didn't care.

I began to stammer, "Oh Zack, I'm sorry. The panel discussion went so late..."

He was laughing, "Were you afraid that I would think that you were avoiding me?"

Then I realized how foolish I was being. He knew that I loved him and that if I was a little late, it wouldn't mean anything. I started giggling.

He smiled and said, "My love the Q&A session also ran over and I just got out a few moments ago. So although I wasn't running, I was coming to find you."

I threw my arms around him and kissed him hard and passionately. Again I didn't care if anyone saw us. I wanted to kiss Zack and I never wanted to stop. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me hard. I loved it. I just wanted to kiss him, to hold him, to love him.

We walked to the lobby and met up with Margaret and the others who were on the panel. Margaret had arranged a luncheon for the panel members and their significant others. Zack and I were looked upon as a couple and even those who knew that I was a Nun didn't seem to be uncomfortable with the situation.

I had been talking with a couple of mathematicians and Zack had been talking with some of the others. When we joined each other again he laughingly told me of a conversation he had with Margaret. He said that she was concerned about him hurting me and that he assured her that he wouldn't do that.

I smiled, knowing that he would never hurt me...but would I hurt him? Would I ever make up my mind? Would I ever be able to make the same commitment to him that he has made to me? In my heart I knew that was what I wanted but did I have to courage to actually make it a reality? I was still torn.

After a short while Zack and I left the hotel and walked around the downtown area. We weren't looking at the sights much, we were just enjoying our time together. We returned to the hotel around four o'clock and we went to Zack's suite and changed onto something a bit more dressy.

I had moved my things to Zack's suite, as we had no intention of spending any time apart. I wouldn't be leaving my love until I got on the plane to return to Santa Fe. We would be spending all of our time together.

As this was the final day of the conference and symposium, there were receptions for both groups. Thankfully the two rooms were next to each other, as there were a lot of couples that were attending one or the other, there was quite a bit of crossover. After a rather short time into the parties it was decided that the moveable wall between the two should be opened so that the attendees would have it easier to cross.

We had been at the party for about a half an hour when I heard a booming voice, "My little babushka, why have you been hiding from me?"

I turned toward the voice and saw a bear of a man. Yuri Yeshanko, the man I called the Russian bear. He stood around 6'7" and must have weighed around 300 lbs...all of it muscle. He had been my professor and mentor at UCLA. He and his wife, Natasha were probably the most influential people in my life while I was studying for my PhD. He is without doubt one of the most brilliant men on the face of the earth.

In a second he was next to me picking me up and holding me up in the air. He bellowed, "What is this I hear? Don't you love me anymore? Have you found another to take my place in your heart?"

Everyone around us were giggling, Yuri is very well known in the math world, both as a genius and as a boisterous tease. He kept me in the air for a few moments, then lowered me and held me in a bear hug and after a moment he put me down.

He smiled at me and said, "Come tell me, who is this dastard who has taken your heart from me?"

I giggled and said. "This is the dastard." And I pointed to Zack.

Yuri turned toward Zack and grabbed him and threw him into the air. Then he caught Zack and put him onto the ground.

Yuri smiled at Zack and said, "What do you think of that?"

Zack smiled and said, "That's very impressive."

Then Zack grabbed Yuri under the arms and picked him up and threw a very surprised Russian Mathematician into the air. He then caught him and placed a smiling Yuri onto the ground and laughed, "So tell me, what do you think of that?"

Yuri roared, "You're the only man who could take her away from me and you are probably the only man who could do that to me."

He went on, "But, has she agreed?"

"Not yet." he answered.

He smiled and said, "Don't force it. She will answer when she is ready."

"I know that," he answered and then looking at me said, "I'll wait."

At this point, Natasha came up to Zack and said, "If she doesn't want you, don't you worry. Yuri will want her and I will most certainly take you."

Yuri roared and said, ""Now that my wife wants you, you are even more desirable and my babushka will want you even more."

Zack laughed and said, "The only woman that I want seems to be unobtainable."

Natasha sighed and said, "That I can't help you with."

Zack smiled and said, "I'm not worried. I'm sure that things will work out."

Natasha looked at me and then at Zack and smiled and said, "Yes, I am sure that you have nothing to worry about."

Zack laughed and said, "I wish that I was as sure as you are."

She laughed at him and said, "Don't worry my love, she is only for you and no one else, not even Yuri. Only you."

I was shocked, was it that obvious? Or was it that she knew me that well.

Zack smiled and laughed, "I hope that you are right.'

Natasha laughed and said, "Don't worry my love...I'm sure."

Zack smiled and said, "That is all I wanted to hear."

Natasha smiled and giggled, "Believe me you will have no problem making her love you. For she loves you more than you know.'

I couldn't believe that my wonderful friends could say anything like this. Then I laughed, of course they could. I always felt that Yuri and Natasha knew me better than I new myself. And they obviously did.

Natasha then grabbed Zach's arm and as she whisked him off said, "Come and wine me and dine me. The Bear will only have eyes and words for his little babushka. So rather than having to listen that, I want to have a handsome young man on my arm and I will whisper sweet nothings in his ear."

Zack and Natasha went off toward the hors d'oeuvres table and in a few moments they returned with four plates filled with delectable finger foods. Both were laughing and joking, with Natasha saying that we have to eat quickly because if we don't Yuri would take everything on all of the plates.

We sat at a small table and talked while we ate. Yuri and Natasha told Zack about our time together in UCLA and how they loved having this sweet loveable Babushka living with them. Of course they joked and teased. There were a few fabrications and a lot of exaggerations in the story, and there were times that I am sure that I turned a little red.

Zack loved listening to them and I think that he came to love them. I know that Yuri and Natasha loved Zack. At first because I loved him but soon because of who he was. Good looking, funny, sweet and also in love with me.

Later that night, when Zack and I were alone...in bed, he told me that when I had gone to the ladies room, both Yuri and Natasha grilled him about his intentions. They said that although they were not religious at all, I was. They wanted his assurance that this was not just a fling and that he was serious.

Zack went through the whole story about us and ended by telling them that he asked me to marry him and that he was still waiting for an answer. They both laughed when he pointed out that I hadn't said no.

The four of us left the receptions a little while later and walked for a while, talking and teasing. We had a wonderful dinner at a small intimate restaurant. As they were catching a plane at 6:00 a.m. we said good-bye to Yuri and Natasha in the lobby and then up to our rooms and to bed.

As we got undressed, Zack set the alarm for 3:30 a.m. I looked at him and smiled. I was just about to ask him if he would do that as I wanted to see them off. We got into bed and I immediately fell asleep in my loves arms.

It's amazing just how quickly that alarm went off. Not really wanting to get out of bed, we dragged ourselves out, quickly dressed and went down to the lobby. We arrived before Yuri and Natasha did and were waiting for them as they got off the elevator.

When he saw us, Yuri roared and said, "See, I told you, I told you they would be here. I knew that my Little Babushka would be here to see us off."

I was talking to Natasha when I heard Yuri say to Zack, "I know that you love her...but if she is hurt, you will be too."

Zack laughed and said, "Yuri nothing that you could do to me would hurt me more that the hurt I would have from her."

Yuri roared and said, "I have nothing to worry about."

There were hugs, kisses and promises of calls, letters and e-mails. Finally with a loud flourish and more hugs and kisses Yuri and Natasha got into a cab that would take them to the airport and back to LA.

As we went back up to our room, Zack asked, "Why does Yuri call you an old woman? That's what babushka means, isn't it?"

I laughed and said, "It also means a head scarf, usually worn by old women in Russia. Nuns wear head scarfs, sort of, so as a nun I'm a babushka. That's what Natasha told me, but if you want to really know why Yuri does what he does, you have to ask him. And who knows you may get the same answer the second time you ask."

Zack shook his head and laughed. I took his hand and we walked back to the elevator and took it up to his room. We got into bed and I fell asleep almost immediately. When I awoke, Zack wasn't in bed. I got up and put my robe on and went into the living room.

When I opened the door I saw Zack sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. He was scribbling on some papers, completely lost to the world. I softly walked up behind him and stood there watching him.

He was so focused on what he was doing that I stood there for at least five minutes before he noticed me. He turned around and asked, "How long have you been standing there?"

I smiled and said, "Not too long, but what are you so interested in?"

It was like his whole face lit up and he went into an explanation of what he was working on. He said, "Right after the Question and Answer thing, I was talking to some of the people and this one woman asked me a question. I couldn't give her an answer and I told her that I would think about it. Well this morning I was lying in bed and it hit me. I got this idea and I think that it will work."

He then went into an explanation and as he had said the other day, it was all Greek to me. But I didn't stop him as I loved hearing him. He was so excited and animated. I loved it.

Then he stopped talking and laughed, "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

I gave him a big smile and shook my head and said, "No but I may not know what you are talking about, but I could listen to you all day."

He grabbed me and pulled me into him and kissed me. He held me close and said, "You are crazy, woman."