All Comments on 'Off to College Ch. 01'

read this before, does she get knocked up or just visit a lot?

I had to laugh when I read "No sweaty". The ride on lap in cramped car scenario is, in my opinion, done better from the Mom's POV. I gave this 3 stars.

This is too close to stories already written-and this was done poorly. 1 star. You could have at least said your mother wears nylon Hanes Her Way Hi-Cut panties or something.

I ate three pot brownies an hour ago and "No sweaty, it does not feel good." really made me have to stop and think.

Most of us that tried to read Part 1 won't bother reading more from you. I've seen this story premise used at least ten times, over the years, and every last one of those stories was FAR better written than this one!

You might want to read a lot more LW stories and do some research before deciding to write another story. This in not a criticism of your writing skills but you picked a topic that has been done to death before, without adding a new twist for us to enjoy. Also you are missing the foreplay that a woman needs 'to get in the mood'. It appears rushed and moves too quickly. A guy is ready and only needs a place but a woman needs a reason to make love...or so my wife says to me. Keep writing...it keeps Literotica fresh.

... you're very young or English is your eighth language or whatever, but this was just very poor in every way. There is no imagination, nothing interesting, nothing which could be described as decent sentence structure, and no reason for you to make chapter 2. If you really insist, go and read some literature first, learn the English language, and come back in a few years' time.

When you use the word 'i' as describing something you did, use it capitalized.

"i went to the store" is incorrect. "I went to the store" is correct.

Naturally, the mindless uneducated zombies will say for you to ignore what people are telling you.

Please make more

I wouldn't have commented on this story, I read it, I liked it and would've normally move on. However, seeing the slating this first time offering is taking I wanted to put my fourpence worth in.

Yes, it may have been done to death as a scenario before; yes there may be spelling and grammatical issues; yes it may not flow as well as it could and yes I agree with the commentator who suggested the woman would need warming up a lot more first. BUT (I like big buts and I cannot lie - single T used on purpose), this was far better than it is either been given credit for or in comparison to many other first time offerings.

My advice, for what it is worth, is to carry on and try a couple more chapters, expand the characters, situations and feelings, and make sure you have an idea where the story as a whole is heading so you do not shoot off on meaningless tangents - keep the amazing idea you come up with in the middle of chapter three for another, separate tale. Oh, and don't use ridiculously long sentences like the last one I just have - they'll tear you apart for that one as well! Also, if someone has made a valid point, take it on board and make sure you don't make the same mistake again; accurate and correct critique is a very valuable commodity and not to be ignored.

Finally, just enjoy it! This is a site for fantasies, your fantasies are as important as anyone else's so don't give them up and keep writing, that is how you improve.

And it brings up a very pertinent question. How many young sons, like the 18 year old hero of this tale, have a deep interest in that very special hole between their mother's thighs, the same hole they came out of? How many boys would love to explore it with their busy fingers if they get the chance, stick a couple up inside, rub their compliant mother's tender clit and make mom feel good? If they could get away with it, lots and lots of boys, maybe every last one of them. And how many mothers would willingly spread their thighs for their darling baby boy for him to get to know his own birth canal up close and personal? Here I believe the answer is every single one of them who aren't crippled by silly social inhibitions. Mothers realize that the bond between their son and their own cunt is the closest and most natural bond there is. They let their son have his boyish way with that lovely orifice that was his entryway to life and the world. And if the kid springs the biggest hard on of his life and even creams his shorts, well, an understanding mom smiles and spreads a little more. She knows that's just how it is with the virile young male she gave birth to and his abiding love for his own mother's cunt.

I can tell it's great by the hard on I had when it ended

So the mom calls her son sweaty? Do you know the difference between sweety and sweaty? This theme has been done over and over and over so much better. You need to come up with something more original to get more than *** from me.

I love "mom on lap" stories and this one was very realistic.

Hoover doesn't suck as hard as this did.

This was godawful!

Or Maybe a Freudian Slip on her part?

Please let this be fiction and you did not rape your mother. Nothing about this sounds consenting. Before you repeat she "did not stop me", just think about this. Her looking out the window most likely was her disconnecting from this horrible situation. You are fortunate you weren't arrested, killed by dad, arrested and killed by dad, etc. Stay off the internet until you grow up and realize your mother loves you and you probably destroyed her inside. I could say more but somehow I don't think it will matter to you. Get help!

"No, sweaty, it does not feel good." I laughed out loud at that. I guess it makes sense that a rapist doesn't know how to spell "sweetie". The story is drivel.

I know it's fiction but it needs to be more realistic fucking in the back seat while dad drives unaware isnt realistic