All Comments on 'Off to College'

This is a well crafted story. The end has a delightful twist that I had not expected. I hope to read more work from this author.

This story has so many mechanical faults, it's outright painful to read. There's a good core here, so get an editor to repair the surface issues.

This story has so many mechanical faults, it's outright painful to read. There's a good core here, so get an editor to repair the surface issues.

This was a really good tale. I enjoyed your story development and I liked the realistic ending. I wish it had been longer, but it was a short-story. Thanks for writing and tell those looking for professional editing to go to a bookstore.

I would like to just note that this is the fourth story I have read today where someone decided to blast the author for 'grammatical faults'. I must say that I am a merciless proofreader, and I don't finish stories that are poorly written. I finished this one, and it was very well done, with a very sweet ending. I am just reminded of the old adage, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. And those who can't do either, criticize." Keep up the good work and ignore comments from people with nothing better to do in their lives than flame someone anonymously.

Loved the story. I don't normally like incest stories but this was more a romantic story. I also liked how the guy came first - so many stories have the guy lasting so long which isn't always the case in real life.

The story maintained a tone which was consistent with the background. Ignore the grammar fiends, many people don't realize that everybody in the English speaking world (especially the UP - this coming from a Yooper) doesn't speak perfect English and that it was part of the story. That aside, I loved the story. Keep up the good work!

and I enjoyed it. Yes, it had some mechanical mistakes, but practice and maybe an editor will help a lot. But that did not really distract from the overall story. It had good plotting, read smoothly or flowed well, and had good character development. Agreed, it was a short story, but I would have liked to have seen a bit more of their two separate lives before they got back together.

By the way, that old adage mentioned by a previous commentor, should read: Those who can, teach. Those who can't, do something else.

Keep writing and you'll get better.

Grammer don't meen nothing to me, if thers eny flous I adapet it in my head so it flowes soovly and I don't eeven notes.As for spelling I can't spell for the life of me nomater howmuch I reed! The story was grate , and thair like 30 now rite sowe rhairs time and hope!!!!!

Let those who wiil make stupid remarks...Your subjects were good people and you wrote with realism..That he loved her after all these years was touching..Well done..

I enjoyed this story very much. It had original angles and the ending mixed realism with an ounce of hope. I liked it.

Sweet story....I really liked the ending!!

Yes, your story was entirely true to life, including the dialogue. (Very believable Michigander/U.P.) And I'm here to tell you that a cousin-love can endure a lot more than 25 years. It's sweet to think that they may get together again after all! Let's hear more from you!

no way he would keep in touch with her because every time he saw her he would wonder if it should have happened and it would cause a lot of guilt driving them apart. once it ended that would have been the last they saw of each other keep it atleast some what realistic please.

the end ruined the whole story it was just to stupid and unrealistic. once they seperated that would have been the end because every time he saw her it would be like a knife in the heart. if you want to remain close you either stay together or never start. do a rewrite and fix the end either keep them together NO MARRIAGE FOR EITHER or keep them apart. as the saying goes "YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK HOME"

The 2 most recent comments complaining about the ending of the story are just flat out wrong. Cousins who love _can't_ just avoid or ignore each other; you'll see each other at funerals, weddings, family reunions... And yes, it'll rip you apart and leave you bleeding most of the time. And no, you can't unburden yourself to anybody except a shrink. Once you (or either of you) decide it can't work, you try to move on and you marry somebody---ANYbody---rather than join a monastery. These two cousins went that direction, but now they have an opportunity to fix things up without destroying other marriages. Go for it!! "Nightstalker:" Good characters, good plot. Keep working!

my cousin screwed me over and i haven't seen or talked to her for over 25 years even though we live in the same town and probably never will. it isn't hard to ignore someone that breaks your heart if you really want to. the end of this story was total bullshit and needs to be rewritten to make it believable.

Very nice.

And there are quite a few in this one. Still, it is a very touching story.

I've read a few of your later tales and your writing skills have improved. This could stand some cleaning up and reposting, but it's not bad enough to get in the way. I'm glad he liked her breasts, but I think it was supposed to be "licked." And the "muddle" of the back? Does that mean she's put on weight, too?

FWIW - hymens are at the entrance, just past the labia minora, like a third set of lips that may partially or wholly close off the passageway. Generally, once the crown or head of the cock is lodged inside the woman, you are past the hymen. Interesting that this is a common bit of anatomical ignorance on an erotica fiction site.

While first cousins can NOT get married in Michigan, last I checked it's legal in Colorado (thanks Wiki), and it's implied both of them stayed there after college.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. As others have said, and I agree, a good story trumps grammar and other errors - though usage errors can be unintentionally hilarious. Two examples of usage errors are above - they are correctly spelled but are the wrong word for what was intended. Thanks for sharing! 5*

Don't make the guy a dork

71 Granada? Must have popped over from the Fringe universe.

But ruined in the end.

blown story