All Comments on 'Oh, Brother! Pt. 02'

Please write the next part with the pregnant sister. Made me so wet.

Thank you so much for writing

Michael

You have a lot of opportunity to take this story down a number of rabbit trails, just don't get to crazy with the trails, develop a few and you could have a very nice short story.

This belongs in a different section of the site.

It needs to be somewhere in the non-English section. I don't think they have a section for specifically whatever the language it was written in, but it's definitely more English.

Better to develop the story add a bit more seduction. Dont just go straight to the sex part

Your writing shows promise. It needs a touch more depth.

I'm NOT hate writing. But just as you yourself said, you need improvement. I didn’t mention it previously, but sometimes you leave out descriptive words making your story difficult to read. Other times, you use the wrong words entirely. For example:

and that action itself fastened my coming orgasm.

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What you should have done here is used the word "hastened". You fasten your jeans when you button them up. Fasten is connecting something together. Hasten is when something happens faster. And 'fastered' is not an actual word.

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Keep working on it. And I honestly believe that the vast majority of the audience doesn't enjoy the animalistic brutal sex that you're presenting here either. I'm certain that most people interested in siblings having sex are looking for their familial love and affection be taken to a higher level that causes them to cross the line into the Taboo. The intercourse that you describe feels more like hate sex or anger sex. It just doesn't make it a good fit.

3/5 again.

Looking forward to the next installment!

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