by coaster2
Each chapter that you've written for this series has gotten Hotter and has developed the characters better. I like how you described Rick's parents and how they embraced Astrid. I also loved the way you introduced Astrid's father and Crystal to this story. Rick had no idea that Astride was that wealthy from her father. I can hardly wait to see how you write the next chapter in this story.
I really like the way this is a genuine, gentle story, not a wham-bam-thankyou mam one. The characters come over as genuine but deep down lonely. And they are perfect for each other. I really hope there are more chapters in this series, as it has been a joy to read. Keep it up please
I admit that I have had the feeling that Astrid continues to have an icy side to her personality. This could be real trouble for them a bit down the road and I am amazed that Rick at this point picked up on it. Great story.
I admit that I have had the feeling that Astrid continues to have an icy side to her personality. This could be real trouble for them a bit down the road and I am amazed that Rick at this point picked up on it. Great story.
...& he's going to be going for a graduate degree in the tantric side of sex. I think you've created a "Darth Veda".
Very compelling story, unusually well-crafted and straight-forward.
"Astrid and my mother have become quite close," I said.
Maybe his mother can help Astrid relate better with Crystal.
“Astrid was silent. I rolled toward her and saw the tears and felt her shoulders shake with her sobs. It was the first time I had ever seen Astrid show raw emotion. I upset her with my comments. It wasn't what she wanted to believe. I wondered if I had damaged our relationship. I put my hand gently on her shoulder.”
Maybe a good cry is just what she needs?
"I need you, Rick. I need you to make love to me. I need you to tell me that you love me. I need you to be with me every day. Can I count on you, Rick?"
She “needs” him; she needs him to tell her he loves her. But where does she say that SHE loves HIM?
they both have their usages, TK U MLJ LV NV
Astrid and her father said, “you, or someone like you,” can help her. This makes it sound like they, father and daughter, are noncommittal or ambivalent about Rick. ‘Makes it sound like both of them have their doubts.
I didn't notice if Astrid used the phrase "or someone like you" or not, but it's not strange at all if her father might have his doubts at this point. He had literally only just met Rick.
My problem with this chapter was the way Rick immediately confided in Crystal and decided to meddle in their relationship. A good ambition but surely no one would start discussing something like that with a person he just met? He is actually in a way taking Crystal's side against Astrid, after knowing her for just a few hours. At least take a little time to actually get to know Crystal, and find out if Astrid is even receptive to such a thing.