Old Florida

--

You guessed it. A few hours later, Animal Control showed up at my doorstep. Can't say as I didn't expect them. The HOA was running out of government officials to complain to. I welcomed the guy in and explained what happened. He had obvious trouble hiding his smirk.

He took a good look at Cain and asked me a few questions about his care. I answered truthfully and there were no issues, except that I might want to see a vet about his shit stench. We had found another pile and it was pretty rank. Even the flies wouldn't touch it.

I watched the Animal Control dude through my front window. After he sank into the seat of his truck and closed the door he just started laughing. He even pounded the steering wheel a couple of times. I couldn't help laughing, myself. It was just too perfect.

When I finally regained my composure, I grabbed a beer and sat in front of the TV. My mind drifted from the inane drivel of the show I was watching as I thought about my shit covered neighbor. I had to admit I felt a little bad about the whole thing. Cain came up and nuzzled my arm. I scratched his ears as I thought about what it was I should do. I really didn't need this escalating into a Hatfields and McCoys situation. I had hoped ignoring the HOA would have caused the problems to fade away. I was pretty sure that was out the window now. How in the hell do you ignore a shit missile? I figured the best thing I could do was go to her with hat in hand and ask for a truce. I really didn't want to find out what might be happening next if I didn't sue for peace.

--

The next evening I headed to the grocery store. I figured I needed a peace offering for my neighbor. Trouble was I didn't know what I should get her to try to make amends. I was pretty sure that Hallmark didn't make a 'Sorry I covered your dog with shit' card. I opted for a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine.

It took a little while and a couple of beers for me to work up my nerve to go and knock on her door. I was definitely afraid I'd just start laughing at her as soon as I saw her. I literally started and stopped as I walked, trying my damndest not to laugh. I nearly bit a hole through my lip as I approached her front door.

As soon as I hit the doorbell her little fluff ball ran yapping toward the door. I could hear it barking and growling at me. I almost lost it. I coughed to try to regain my composure when the door opened a crack. I noticed the door chain was stretched across the opening. "What do YOU want?" wafted out the door.

"Hi....uh...Sorry ma'am...uh...I just wanted to apologize," I stuttered.

"You have some nerve knocking on my door after what you did to me and little Snookums yesterday!"

'Snookums'...the dog's name was actually 'Snookums'. I looked down through the crack in the door. Her dog was digging and growling for all its worth, trying to get at me. What was it going to do? Murder my shoelaces? It was all I could do to keep from laughing in her face. I was literally choking. It felt like I had just swallowed my liver.

"Well?" she yelled impatiently.

"Look ma'am," I coughed once more to try to clear my throat. "I am genuinely sorry about what happened. It was purely an accident. I am here to apologize to you and hopefully 'clear the air'. I literally had to stomp on my own toe after the 'clear the air' remark. This was going downhill fast. I wasn't going to be able to hold my laughter in much longer.

I saw her look through the crack at my peace offering. Good thing I came bearing gifts, it seemed to soften her up just enough. I heard a heavy sigh as she closed the door enough to remove the chain. When she opened the door she had scooped up her dog and was holding it in her arms. "You may come in," she said.

I stepped into the foyer, took a deep breath and offered her the flowers. "I'm truly sorry about yesterday. Let me introduce myself. I'm Bryan Williams and I really do apologize for what happened at the fence. Please take these."

She took the flowers and smelled them. She didn't even crack a smile. "Yes, I'm Olivia Fenwick. I'll put these in water, follow me."

She made her way back to her kitchen. As we walked I took in the surroundings. "Nice place you have here Ms. Fenwick, are you an interior designer or something?"

"As a matter of fact I am," she said with almost no emotion in her voice. "And you may call me Olivia."

"Wow," I returned. "You've done quite a job on this place. I've never been in any of these homes. I just watched them go up."

"I like my place," she blurted out. "But we've been having trouble with the builder. There's been a number of problems with materials and workmanship across the neighborhood. Looks like we are going to have to sue them."

My ears perked up. "Lawsuit? Wow." I responded. I instantly thought that I needed to make sure things between us would be fine. I didn't need to risk a lawsuit over flying dog crap.

As she expertly arranged the bouquet in a vase, she spoke up. "You know, I had to make an emergency call to my dog groomer yesterday to get her to come out and take care of poor Snookums. Cost me over $200!"

My eyes opened wide. Who spends $200 just to wash a stupid dog? Normally I just take the hose to Cain. He seems to like it anyway. I coughed but I figured it was cheaper to appease her than risk any more antagonism. "I'm very sorry, Olivia, I'll reimburse you the expense."

'Thank you," she replied. She looked at the wine bottle. "Did you bring me something else?"

"Oh...yes...I hope you like Sauvignon Blanc," I said, presenting her the bottle. "It's one of my favorites."

"As a matter of fact, I do," she replied with a little bit of a smile this time. She took the bottle and reached for a couple of stemless glasses. "I could use a little of this right now if you don't mind. Care to join me?"

"Sure," I responded. Well at least I did something right. Shit, I'd buy her a dozen bottles of wine if it would get her off my case.

"Here," she said. "Let's retire to the Lanai."

'What the fuck is a Lanai?' I thought to myself. I just took my glass and followed her out to the patio. When she sat down I realized what a 'Lanai' was. Why do people feel the need to make things more complicated?

I sat down at the table across from her and set down my glass. As I did her little dog ran up to me and started sniffing my pants. I was sure she was attracted to Cain's scent. She barked once and jumped into my lap, licking my hand. I gave her a few pats.

Olivia seemed a little taken aback. I guessed she didn't like seeing her dog consorting with the enemy. I smiled back at Olivia and said, "At least Snookums doesn't seem to hold a grudge." Olivia sat back in her chair with a frown. I might have just shot myself in the foot.

Our conversation was polite but a little strained as we drained the wine. I did get a little information about her background out of her. She was recently divorced from her husband who she caught cheating with a girl half his age. I could see the rage flash in her eyes as she recounted a few details about the affair. I almost felt relieved knowing that there were others ahead of me in line to suffer her wrath. Maybe I could get out of this down only $200 and a bottle of wine.

She asked about my situation and I gave her a very brief explanation. I didn't usually get into what happened with Jean with complete strangers. Suffice it to say that I was left alone with my kids who had grown up and moved away.

"You live there alone?" she asked. "That's so sad..." she trailed off.

"I'm OK with it," I replied. "It was a great place to raise kids. They loved fishing in the pond out back. I have some great memories."

"My little grandson loves to fish!" she stated. "Would you mind very much if we could fish in your pond next time he comes over?"

"I'm sure I could make time for that," I answered. "Just let me know when I can expect you." We traded phone numbers. I assured her that it would be a fun time. Frankly, I wouldn't mind seeing her again. When I could get her to smile she was a beautiful woman. From what I could tell, she hadn't smiled all that much lately.

I polished off the rest of the wine in my glass and stood to take my leave. I didn't need to overstay my welcome. As we walked to the front door I again apologized for the accident. She seemed to be sincere in accepting the apology.

As I went to step out the door I had to ask, "Could you tell me why you sent the letter and called the fire department on me? I really couldn't figure out what I had done to trigger your actions."

"Oh," she said a little sheepishly as she escorted me out the door. "You remind me of my ex-husband."

My eyes opened wide. "Well, Olivia," I responded. "I'm certainly not your ex-husband. I'd never treat a beautiful woman like yourself with such disrespect. If you have any problems with me I would appreciate it if you came to me with it directly. I'm sure we could come to a mutual agreement."

I noticed she blushed deeply as she closed the door. "Thank you for the flowers and wine," she responded.

I let out a deep breath as I turned away and headed back toward my house. Looked like I had just dodged a bullet, if I could keep from flinging anymore shit her way.

I did complain to Cain when I got home. "You just cost me $200, you worthless animal!" I yelled. He just smiled that big old dog smile and put his big paw on my lap. I gave my dog a hug.

--

The next few weeks went on without incident. It was summer and I was frequently outside working on the property. I saw Olivia outside her house a few times. We waved and exchanged pleasantries at the fence. At first I just wanted to gauge whether or not I was staying in her good graces, but after a while I found myself hoping to run into her. She was a fine looking woman after all.

One day she asked if she and her son and grandson could come over to do a little fishing. "They are going to be here most of the day on Saturday," she said.

"Sounds good to me," I replied. "If you want, we can make a day of it. I could cook something on the BBQ and if you want, we can have a campfire with S'mores later in the evening."

"Oh you don't have to go through all that trouble," she responded.

"It's no problem at all," I replied. "I'd love to see you and your family. I have nothing planned and it would be a nice distraction. Besides, I haven't had a S'more in forever."

"Me either!" said Olivia with a big smile. "You know what, you're on!"

Her smile just melted my heart. "I look forward to seeing you then!" I replied as I went on with my yardwork.

--

Saturday morning found me digging through my garage unearthing my old fishing gear. After I knocked all the dust off a couple of rods and reels as well as my tackle box, I made sure everything was in working order. Bait was easy enough. Just went to my compost pile and started digging. The big earthworms everywhere. I filled a bowl with live worms and a little soil and closed the top.

I settled on ribs and chicken for the BBQ. The idea of feasting on the slow cooked ribs had my mouth watering all day as they cooked. The mix of apple and pecan chips I used for smoke filled the air with a sweet aroma. I made sure I had enough old brush and split logs to have a good fire for the evening. I had popped over to the grocery store the night before for S'mores makings as well as a decent selection of beer and wine for the adults. I looked over my preparations with a smile. I was really looking forward to this.

Olivia, her son Roger, and her grandson Brent, arrived in the afternoon. Olivia made the introductions. Roger shook my hand, but the way he was looking at me made me a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't until he spoke that I realized what was happening.

"Gee Mom," said Roger. "You weren't kidding! He does look just like Dad!"

I just looked at him and looked back at Olivia. "I don't know if that's a complement or a curse," I responded. "Your mother did say I reminded her of him."

When they introduced me to little 5 year old Brent, he ran up to me and gave me a hug, yelling out "Grandpa!". Olivia took him aside to explain the mistake. It was all just a bit unsettling.

"Nice place you have here," commented Roger.

"Thanks," I replied. "Here, let's head out back and get you guys geared up for a little fishing, I'm sure Brent is all hyped up to get a few fish on the line."

We made our way back out to the pond. I let Roger work with Brent getting things ready to dunk a few worms. I took Olivia by the hand and led her to a spot where I had a couple of lounge chairs, a small bistro table and a cooler with drinks. We were a safe distance away so that Roger and Brent could practice casting. I poured us both a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.

We made some small talk. I wanted to learn more about her so I steered the conversation back to her past.

"I can't believe you have such a big grandson," I started. "You must have been a child bride!"

"I was only 20 when I married and got pregnant right away," she responded. "I guess that's really young by today's standards. It seemed more normal back then. My husband was a few years older. He was so handsome back then."

"I have to admit," I confessed. "I find it a little off-putting to know that your ex and I look so much alike. Do you have any pictures of him? This is driving me crazy."

"No...I don't," she said as she looked down. "I threw them all away, I couldn't stand the sight of them anymore." It was obvious there were some tears in her eyes. Just then Brent hooked his first little Bluegill. He yanked it out of the water so hard it probably would have landed on my roof if it didn't stay hooked. He ran over to his grandmother all excited to show her the fish. She squealed as it wiggled and shook on the line next to her.

I grabbed the line. "Nice job, Brent! That's a beauty!" I told the little boy. He was all smiles. I walked him and his catch back over to his dad. I unhooked the fish and held it out to show him a little closer. I explained the different parts of the fish and answered a few of his questions. He was so excited he was jumping up and down. We took a quick picture of the fish together and let it go back in the pond. "Now go out there and get an even bigger one!" I said encouragingly.

I washed my hands and went back to sit down next to Olivia. I could see her smile proudly at her little family.

"He's a great little fisherman, Olivia," I said with a smile.

"He's having such a great time, and so am I. Thank you." she said. "And please call me 'Livy', it's what my friends call me."

"Livy, I like that," I said with a wink. "Can I refill your glass?"

"Please," she said as she reached out. I refilled her glass and she took another slip. I guess I was kind of staring at her lips, because all I could think about was possibly getting a kiss from them sometime soon.

Livy woke me out of my stupor. "So tell me more about you and your family, I don't even know how old you are."

"Well, my kids are 26 and 24 now," I recounted. "But I was a bit older than you when they came along. Now, well let's just say I'm well past my 'best by' date."

Livy giggled and touched my arm. "Oh, I don't know about that," she stated.

The afternoon seemed to fly by. Our conversation was light and easy. Brent caught a few more Bluegill and then at the end he hooked big old catfish. He needed his Dad to help reel it in. Thing was nearly half as long as Brent was. We staged a picture with him holding the line, but his Dad was really holding all the weight just out of frame. Brent's smile stretched from ear to ear.

Dinner was delicious if I do say so myself. Livy, Roger and even Brent showered me with accolades. I guess that's one good thing about being a single Dad. Plenty of time to perfect my cooking skills. We each had fun pointing out all the BBQ sauce on each other's faces. Brent laughed hysterically when he saw his grandmother with a BBQ sauce mustache.

They wanted to help me wash up all the dishes after dinner, but I told them there was no need. I'd get at it all the next day.

"Besides," I said. "We had some serious business to attend to! Those S'mores aren't going to make themselves!"

I carried all the fixings down to the fire ring and started up a little bonfire. Roger held Brent close as the flames began to die down. After about half an hour of telling Brent a few spooky fireside stories, the coals were ready to roast a few marshmallows.

I handed everyone a marshmallow roasting stick and attached a marshmallow to the end. We all held our sticks over the hot coals. I was minding my own business when someone took their stick and knocked my marshmallow into the fire.

"Hey!" I yelled out. "That's not fair!"

"You snooze, you lose!" answered Livy with a smirk. "Besides, I still owe you one after how things went down when we first met!"

"True enough," I said with a bit of a defeated tone, watching my marshmallow erupt in a ball of flame. I acted like I was going to get another marshmallow, but then snuck up behind Livy and tickled the sides of her stomach. She screamed out and almost lost her marshmallow as well.

"Alright you two," Roger interjected. "None of that now. You know how things escalated last time. I don't want another phone call like the one I received after you had that last mishap!"

We all laughed and Livy and I decided on at least a marshmallow truce. I retrieved a new marshmallow and announced, "My S'more will be the most delicious of all."

"I doubt that!" countered Livy. "I have significant S'more training from all my years in girl scouts!"

"Well then," I said as I finished constructing my chocolate and hot fluff morsel. "Tell me what you think." I lifted the gooey dessert to her lips.

Livy took a bite of my offering. "Mmmmm," she let out in satisfaction. My eyes opened wide as she pulled away from the treat. She had a smear of marshmallow left on her lips. I so wanted to lean in and lick her lips clean, and then finish up by giving her a romantic kiss. I shook my head to try to clear my thoughts.

"That was delicious," announced Livy.

"You're telling me!" I retorted.

"Umm, I think Brent's getting tired," interrupted Roger. No doubt he was beginning to feel like a third wheel. "Bryan, would you mind walking my mother home? I'm going to load Brent into the car and take off from here, we have a bit of a drive back."

Livy hugged her son and grandson goodbye. We waved as Roger pulled out of my driveway. I offered my arm to Livy as we started our slow stroll to her house.

"I had a wonderful day," I offered. "It was very nice having Brent catch a few fish. It brings back some very nice memories."

"I had a wonderful time as well," Livy responded. "Thank you again for hosting." We walked a few more steps in silence.

"Bryan, would you mind if I come over tomorrow and help you with the cleanup?" asked Livy. "I really don't feel right about leaving you with all that work. Besides, I'd like to talk some more."

"That sounds good to me, Livy," I responded. "What do you say about meeting up around 10?"

"Perfect," she said as we arrived at her front door. She turned and faced me, threw her hands over my head and pulled me in close. She reached up and gave me a short sweet kiss on my lips. I found myself wishing the night wasn't about to end, but I knew things were still in the budding stage.

"Take care, Livy. See you tomorrow," I whispered.

"Bye, now," she said as she turned and disappeared behind her front door. I was definitely on her good side now.

--

My doorbell rang right at 10am. I opened the door and greeted Livy. I was barely able to make a complete sentence. She looked radiant. The tight blouse and shorts she was wearing did a number on my libido. I shifted a little uncomfortably.