Old Wounds Ch. 05

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Sorry for the delay in getting out this chapter. Per usual, it took way longer than I wanted it to, but being an over the road trucker doesn't give me as much time as I'd like to sit and write.

I was otr, but now I am at a local job, so hopefully I do find more time to write, though I plan on finishing my two series, then sticking to standalone stories so I don't keep you waiting too long between chapters. A possible spin off to this might possibly be in consideration featuring two familiar faces ;)

This isn't necessarily the end for Matt and Katie, but I did want to reach a point I felt was a good ending in case my mind can't make up any more for the story, or I make a part two(?) if desired.

As always, thank you for your continued support and enjoy the story!

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If you'd have told me a year ago that life could be this good, I'd probably have laughed. A year ago I was a soldier who seemed to never be out of a combat zone longer than a month or two at a time. A year ago I was single and had absolutely no idea if I'd ever find the one. A year ago, well a year ago I didn't realize the one was right in front of me my entire life.

Katie and I were dating. Officially. It honestly came as a huge surprise to everyone we knew, and by surprise, I mean they all just kind of shrugged and joked that they thought we were already dating. You'd think everything would change when you start dating your best friend, but honestly, it seemed like a minor change in reality. We still hung out with everyone, still partied, still hung out one on one.

Really, the only difference was the hand holding and the kisses. Oh, and her waking up in my bed, or vise versa, every day. That was a big one, but damn if it wasn't the best change. I'm just happy our parents realize we're adults and didn't say anything about it.

I'd gotten my discharge two months ago. Full honorable and all that fun stuff, so I was a free man now. Luckily the Army got me some experience with some heavy trucks and other equipment, even though I was infantry, and I was able to land a gig as a heavy hauler running processed limestone to the kilns at the two paper mills in the UP and the mine right outside of town.

In all honesty, it was a great job. I got paid roughly seventy five thousand a year to run an eight axle trailer in, sit for three hours while it unloaded itself, then head back out and do it again, for twelve hours a day, four days a week. On top of that, Katie was working about fifty hours a week, but hoping it would slow down soon enough. She made around eighty thousand a year, so between the two of us, we were pretty good on money.

No, we weren't married yet. Hell we'd only been dating a short while, but when something feels this right you can't help but think into the future a bit.

**

"Ma, am I crazy?" I asked as I sat down at the bar top in the kitchen and opened a beer.

"Yes," she said plainly as she dropped some seasoning in the pan on the stovetop. Tonight was stir fry night, and I absolutely loved stir fry nights.

"Thanks," I laughed as I took a swig. "You don't even know why I'm asking though."

"You volunteered to get shot at, got shot, then volunteered to go back again," she joked as she turned to face me. "Nothing you do isn't crazy. Mud drags, sled racing, cliff jumping, swimming with sharks, parachuting off the Empire State Building..."

"I haven't even done half of that," I chuckled.

"I wouldn't put it by you though."

"Fair," I allowed. "Want to know why I'm asking though or are you just gonna bully me all night?"

"Ok," she said, giving me her full attention. "What is it this time?"

"It's only been a few months, but I'm already thinking of asking her to marry me." I said, nervously awaiting her response.

"That's gotta be the single most sane thing I've heard you say," she said with a smile.

"Really?" I asked in astonishment.

"Really. You two are meant for each other. Soulmates. All that mumbo jumbo you see in movies and read about in romance novels, that's you guys," she smiled.

"Even this soon?"

"I've been planning you two's wedding since you were five. Get with the program," She said as she turned back to the stove. "Either ask her now and get married, ask her now and have a long engagement, or wait to ask her for a while. The choice is yours, but I'd stake everything I've ever had on the two of you saying 'I do' at some point before too long."

"So you don't think it would be rushing it?" I asked, trying to make sure I understood her.

"Nah. It seems like she's been head over heels for you for years. You're the dumbass that just didn't realize it."

"I know. I'm trying to make up for lost time on that one," I said with a sigh, still kicking myself for being so stupid for so long.

"Trust me, we know. The walls aren't as thick as you might think young man," she said with a completely straight face, causing me to spit my beer out onto the counter.

"Ma!" I exclaimed, trying to hold back a coughing fit.

"Relax you're an adult. Nobody cares. Just tell her to be quiet sometimes."

"I'll have to gag her," I said with a laugh before I realized what had just come out of my mouth.

"Be careful, she might just like that," my mom said, smiling that smile that says so much that only a mother can pull off.

"Alright, that's enough of that," I said as I stood up to head out to the barn, pausing to quickly kiss her cheek before leaving. "Who are you and what have you done with my mother?"

"Oh hush," she laughed as she shooed me away. "Either way, just do what you think is right for you two. She'll say yes now or she'll say yes a year from now. Your call."

"Love you Ma!" I called as I hit the door, trying to remove myself from the conversation I'd started.

**

"When ya gonna ask?" Allison questioned as I drove us into town. "You know she'll say yes."

"So everyone keeps telling me," I chuckled.

"She'll tell you herself too," she added, joining in on my laughter.

"I don't know though," I said thoughtfully as I stared out the windshield.

"Where ya gonna ask?"

"I don't know kid quit badgering me," I said, feigning annoyance.

We didn't have a chance for more conversation since I'd pulled into the parking lot of the jewelry store and slid the truck into neutral, shut it down, then slid it back into first. Obviously, the best way to pick out the ring was to use her best friend to judge if she'd like it, and it just so happened that her sister was her best friend, and probably the biggest supporter of this possible union.

I'd bribed Allison to come help me with the promise of a pastie from Jean's if she came along, even though I knew she'd come anyways, and she knew I'd buy her a pastie anyways. It was early, as the store was just opening, and I hadn't had breakfast, so we were both looking forward to the food reward to a job well done.

"Matt!" Exclaimed Tony, the jeweler, as we walked in the door. "What brings you in today?"

"Pickin' put a ring for a special someone," I said with a grin.

"It would appear you've brought the wrong sister," he laughed. "I'd heard you were with Katie now. Congrats man, we all knew it would happen."

"Thanks man," I said with a smile, shaking my high school buddies hand. "But I did indeed bring the right sister. Can't have Katie picking out her own ring can we?"

"Yea you'd be right there," Tony laughed. "And you can't go wrong with using her twin to pick it out."

"We aren't twins!" Allison mockingly scolded him.

"I know, I know," Tony smiled. "But you's may as well be the same person."

"You got me on that one Tony," she laughed. "It also doesn't hurt that we're the same ring size, so if it fits me it'll fit her."

Tony laughed and nodded his approval at my plan before leading us over to a case of engagement rings, steering Allison over towards the ones he thought Katie would like.

I'm not much of a shopper. I get all my clothes from Walmart or Tractor Supply, choosing convenience, price, and functionality over style, so I really would have been in over my head if it wasn't for Allison knowing Katie so well.

It didn't take long before I was bored of watching them go over ring after ring with excitement and scrutiny I would never understand so I moved myself to the other end of the display and started looking there just to see if there was anything that caught my eye that I could show them, more so I could say I helped than anything else.

I may not know fashion, I may not know quality, and I may not know jewelry at all, but I did know Katie. She's been by my side for as long as I could remember, so even though they were the experts, I still had an idea of what she'd like, so when I saw it sitting there on the end of the middle shelf I knew I might have found something.

It wasn't special. Far from it actually. It was rather plain looking, but the diamond on top was cut in a heart-ish shape and was a respectable size, but not really big. Something about the way the light hit it caught my eye. I won't pretend to know anything about diamonds, so I couldn't tell you how many carats it was or anything else, but I knew I liked it, especially since I didn't like jewelry all that much and it was low key. Luckily, Katie also didn't like jewelry all that much and rarely wore any of it at all unless a situation called for it, so I knew there was a good chance she'd like this ring. There was just something about it that stood out to me.

"Hey Allison," I started from a few feet away. "What about this one?"

"Which one?" She asked moving towards me with Tony moving on the other side of the counter as well.

"Middle row, all the way to the end."

"Oh now Matt you don't want that one, it--," Tony began before she cut him off.

"It's perfect," Allison gasped with an open mouth. "Absolutely perfect."

"Are you sure?" Tony asked while pulling it out of the case, "it's pretty plain."

"Exactly," Allison said with a grin. "It's plain and simple, but is elegant and beautiful. It's not too big but flashy enough to show off. It screams Katie!"

"Are you sure Allison?" I asked, "there was something about it that I really liked too, but I didn't think you'd go for it."

"It jumped out at you and you like it, which is important, and I know Katie will absolutely love it. You know she doesn't like huge and extensive jewelry, or really jewelry at all, which makes this absolutely perfect for her!"

"There ya have it Tony. We've got a winner," I said with a big grin, not only happy that this was over, but happy because Allison was so confident that Katie would love it.

I'd have gotten whatever Allison said. Katie was worth everything to me. The most important person in my life, and I'd give her the world if I could, so hearing the excitement in Allison's voice at seeing the ring made me feel like I'd done good.

With the ring sized off Allison to be picked up later, there was only one thing left to do. Pasties. It wasn't but five minutes later we were seated in a booth in the back of Jean's happily munching away. Allison was absolutely bubbling with excitement, and at this point I wasn't sure if it was because her sister was about to get engaged or because of the pure goodness she was currently shoveling into her mouth, but either way I was happy as well.

"I know where you should propose!" She beamed with a mouth full of food.

"And where's that kiddo?"

"The island," she said like it was a fact.

"The island? The last time we were out there me and her had a fight," I said skeptically.

"Yes, but that's doesn't matter. According to her, that's where she realized she was in love with you all that time ago."

"And you know this how?"

"She told me?" She said, looking at me like I had two heads. "She tells me everything. You know that."

"Fair," I said, taking a bite to give myself time to gather my thoughts. "So you don't think it should be a spot that's special to us?"

"It is special to you's. As people, even if not as lovers. Think about how much time we've spent there. All the good memories. So what you guys had one little fight, it wasn't even a bad one or anything. It's where she realized she was in love with you, and it'll be where she find out she'll get to spend the rest of her life with you. You know I'm right." She finished with a smile.

"I think you might be," I smiled back at her.

**

Jones was shot. I could hear his cry of pain as the bullet ripped through him. Winters was missing his leg. Damn IEDs. A specialist I'd just met a few hours ago was dead three feet from me. I was bleeding from some shrapnel. Essentially, we were fucked. Jones wasn't out of the fight. He'd told the medic to 'hurry the fuck up and gimme my damn rifle.' I wasn't out of it either. I wasn't bleeding bad and the wound was just a slight one. Everyone else was still ok.

"Can we get a fucking shot on that gun?" I yelled out to my squad as everyone made for cover.

"I didn't even fucking see where he shot from!" Carlisle yelled back.

"Three story building! Eleven o'clock! Third window from the right!" Jones yelled while trying to crawl to cover. That was the only advantage he had at being the first one shot; he wasn't able to immediately get to cover so he got to see where it was coming from.

"Smith, get Jones out of there! Everyone else, light that fucking window up! Luke, get me actual on the radio time fucking now! This area is supposed to be secure!" I barked out my commands while finding some cover myself.

I found a nice piece of cover with support for my rifle a few feet to my right and dove to it, bringing my weapon to bear on the window and letting rounds fly a blink of an eye later. Everyone else followed suit, and if it wasn't a life or death situation, our coordinated fire would have been a sight to see. Hell, who am I kidding, it WAS a sight to see.

I wasn't sure where it came from, but I took another round to my shoulder, and I instantly knew this one was a bad one. The force of the bullet knocked me over and the world started to go dark. Smith almost had Jones to cover and my vision was almost gone. I contented myself to the fact that the last thing I'd see in this life was my soldiers making it to safety.

Then in an instant, Jones and Smith weren't there. They were replaced by debris and a cloud of smoke from an rpg round.

"NO!"

**

"NO!" I yelled as I shot up in bed.

The world was dark. It wasn't hot anymore. Where the fuck was all the sand and why didn't it smell like gunpowder and blood? I was just about to roll for cover when a strange sense of relief mixed with guilt washed over me. I was home.

"Matt?" Katie asked hesitantly, worry clear in her now wide awake voice as she gently laid her hand on my sweat covered arm. "Baby what's wrong?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. I broke down. The nightmares had gotten less frequent, and after the usual fear subsided it took me a few seconds to catch my breath, but that was usually it. Not this time. This time I broke down. Too many soldiers died. Too many friends. Too many brothers. Why couldn't it have been me?

I was shaking now. Tears were welling up in my eyes. Katie had a look on her face that was filled with sorrow and compassion. Love and worry. I wanted to hold her, to tell her everything was ok, but I couldn't. I physically couldn't. I was stuck where I was, a stray tear rolling down my face, my whole body shaking, and the woman I loved next to me worried sick. Damn nightmares.

Blinking twice rapidly, I shook off the paralysis and turned to her. I didn't know what to say, so I kissed her. Hard. I poured every ounce of love I had into that kiss. It wasn't me dead. Even if I wished it was, it wasn't. I was spared too many times to count, and I knew it was for a reason. I was alive, and next to me was the person I loved more than anything in my life. How can you be thankful you're alive and wish you could trade places with someone who wasn't at the same time?

Either way, I was here, and I wanted her to know how much I loved her. How thankful I was to have been able to make it back to her. I kissed her, and I kept kissing her. After a while I broke the kiss off and leaned back to look at her.

"I love you Katie," I said simply, but with every ounce of conviction I had.

"I love you too Matt," she said, giving me a smile filled with love and warmth. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She'd tried to get me to talk to her about what I'd seen and what I'd done over there many times before, and my answer was always no, but she still asked, making sure I knew she was there for me. I took a deep breath and surprised her when I started talking.

"It was Smith and Jones this time. I watched them die. It's like my nightmares are just a rotation of watching people die."

"Baby I'm so sorry," she said, leaning back against the headboard and cradling my head against her generous breasts, comfortingly stroking my hair as I told her things I'd never told a soul.

We talked for what seemed like hours. Well, talked isn't the right word, I rambled and she listened, asking a clarifying question here and there but generally letting me get everything off my chest. I'd intended to just tell her about the day Smith and Jones died, sharing with her a little bit so she knew that I knew I could talk to her about anything, but once I started I just couldn't stop.

I talked about watching my friends die. I talked about myself getting wounded. I talked about the things I'd done, both good and bad. I even talked about the people I'd killed, either with my rifle, knife, or by calling in artillery. I could tell the last part is what got to her the most.

We laughed at the funny stories, and she cried her heart out when I told her the bad ones. With each passing moment I felt lighter and lighter, like the weight of the world was getting taken off my shoulders. I knew then that talking to her, my best friend, my girlfriend, my soon to be fiancé and wife, my soulmate, was better than any therapy I could ever get.

"Please don't think less of me Katie," I pleaded after I got through with the stories.

"How could I ever think less of you my love?" She asked, tears still fresh in her eyes.

"Because I've done bad things. Things no man should ever do, things no woman should ever have to hear about," I said with a sigh.

"Matthew, I love you. Heart and soul. For what you are, what you were, and what you will be. You're the love of my life, and you've done so much for your country and the people you love. I could never in a million years think less of you for it. I'm so happy you finally opened up to me. I can't imagine what it must be like trying to carry all of that, let alone without being able to talk about it. Just know that I'm here for you, from now until the end of time," she said, finishing it by kissing me and pulling me closer.

"I love you so much Katie," I said sincerely. "Thank you for being there for me."

"Always baby."

**

If we were close before, we became inseparable after that night. The only time we weren't together was when we were working. At the moment we were driving back from Kyle's baseball game about an hour away. They were on a hell of a run and everything was pointing at them going to states, so we all made sure we were able to make it to the games.

"Get home, get showered, get changed, and get up to the bar. I'm buying ya dinner to celebrate," I said into my phone.

"Well damn Matt it's Friday night, I was looking to celebrate the right way," Kyle laughed from the other end.

"Dinner first. Did ya really think I'd just stick ya in a bar where ya can't drink all night?" I laughed.

"Fuck yea!" He yelled enthusiastically.

"Watch yer fuckin mouth," I chuckled. "And no, you aren't getting wasted tonight, but pick a few buddies and we'll take you out to Danny's for a fire."