omw

British English spelling and grammar.

***

omw

Tuesday night is the pool league and I'm in The Old Oak team. I always go by car with my mate Jack Parker. He lives a few streets away, and we each do driver duties for two consecutive weeks, or one of us would drive to all the away matches. My wife, Lee, is friends with his wife. I've always got the impression Elaine fancies me. She's flirtier with me than Lee is with Jack. Travelling to and from matches, Jack and I shoot the shit of course. Especially when I'm driving, and he's full of beer. He hints that he and Elaine would like to try an open relationship. I often get the impression he's sounding me out for swaps. They call it The Lifestyle these days, but it's not for me, or Lee.

On Fridays, I usually go for a beer after work. The pub is called The Talbot, and is near my company, Barclay & Co. I have a friend at work, Mark Long, who comes with me. He's about ten years older than me, and is actually the manager of the department I work in. I feel a bit sorry for him. He's been divorced for years but still seems to be pining for his ex. He lives in a big old house on his own, and never dates. After a couple of pints, he starts getting maudlin; banging on about the good old days when he was married. Luckily, he can only drink about three pints, so I don't have to listen to it for long, and I'm home before nine.

My wife comes from China. Her family name is Li and, though Chinese put surnames first, she's comfortable being called Lee. She goes to a wine bar with the girls from her office on Wednesdays, but does not drink much. She can't drive, so I take her, and go and pick her up when she's ready to come home. A couple of times the girls have persuaded me to stop and have a glass of wine.

Chinese have some habits that are not so common in the west. I shower in the morning, but Lee showers the moment she gets home. If we're not expecting anyone, she puts on her nightclothes. She treats sleepwear more like 'house clothes' and would happily walk to the corner shop in pyjamas and slippers, if I let her. Though she'd wear a dressing gown if her nightie was too revealing. I often find her cooking dinner in a sexy nightie. Another thing; I'm always naked under my pj's. But she, whether in a nightdress or pyjamas, always wears panties. I've never known a woman with so much underwear. Not bras; she's quite small up top and only wears them to work. But knickers - Lee has loads! Half a dozen sensible white ones, and over a dozen smaller cotton panties - every colour of the rainbow. Plus a handful of thongs, mostly red or black, and some see-through French knickers. The sexy items are strictly for my benefit.

One morning, we were in the bathroom, where we have shelves for cleaning stuff and spare toilet rolls. Hanging on the edges were three pairs of panties. The French knickers were from our sex session the night before. The other two were pink and lilac.

"Lee, why do you wash your undies when you're in the shower?"

"Oom ace."

"What?"

She spat out toothpaste.

"Room mates. When I was at university, three of us shared an apartment; me and two men. I always felt embarrassed putting my undies in the machine with their things, so I washed them when I showered, and dried them in my room. Would you prefer me to put them out on the washing line?"

"No no, they add a splash of colour. I was only curious."

Soon came the clues - trivial things that stuck in my mind. It started after a pool match; on the way to the car, Jack sent a phone message.

"You do that every time we play. Who do you message?"

"Elaine. I do it after every match. I send 'omw'."

"What's 'omw'?"

"On my way."

The following week I was driving. The White Hart is the venue farthest away from us. Two of the games descended into a battle of safety shots, and we finished late. He sent his message when we were in the car. I couldn't see it, but it was definitely three quick letters.

Which meant nothing till the following Saturday. Lee and I were in the supermarket, and Lee was waiting for a fresh fish to be weighed and cleaned.

"Playboys!" accused Elaine. "Where did you and Jack get to last Tuesday, Neil?"

"Oh, hi Elaine'"

I explained why we'd been late.

"Jack should have called me. I waited up."

I frowned; this didn't make sense. He'd messaged her.

Next Friday, I was drinking with Mark. Before leaving, I went to the Gents'. I stopped to chat to a colleague on the way, and looked back at Mark. He was sending a message on his phone. It looked like three letters. Walking home, I thought: 'If he lives by himself, who is he texting?'

Pool night again, and Lee and I were having dinner. I'd already changed into jeans and a sweater. She had a toweling robe over a transparent nightgown. I dropped a chopstick and while under the table, I noticed her knees had drifted apart. She was wearing standard weekday panties; dark blue. So, the pair she'd had on all day would be hanging in the bathroom.

Lee was looking sexy when I returned from the match. We'd won easily and I was horny.

"Turn the tv off and drop your knickers." I ordered.

She laughed and did so. After I'd had my wicked way with her, we lay there panting.

"I'm guessing my Neil did well tonight." she said.

"We sure did." I replied. "They only won one game."

"My hero!"

"And now I've got rid of that," I said, looking down at my flaccid atate, "I need to go and get rid of the beer."

For men, having a piss is a moment for introspection; like picking your nose when your car's at a red light. I flushed and watched the blue water swirl around the pan; the same blue as her panties. I looked up at the shelves, and there they were; the dark blue panties she'd had on at dinner. I stopped breathing, and reached out to squeeze them. They were still wet. On the other side of the shelf, was a lemon coloured pair; not quite as damp. Those must be the ones she'd worn to work today. So, right now, Lee was probably climbing back into the pink thong she'd been wearing when I'd just fucked her. Lemon panties to work, washes them at home. Blue ones at dinner time, and then she washes them too.

Later, I thought it through. There are not many reasons she'd change undies again. Elaine said she'd been worried. So, what if Jack sent 'omw' to Lee? And Mark did the same? The messages might mean I'm on my way home; not them. I went to the pub again Friday.

Early next morning, I checked her phone. There was 'omw', sent as I was leaving The Talbot. After Lee got up, it was deleted.

On Tuesday I called Jack.

"Will it be ok if I drive tonight?"

"Sure, why do you want to go out of turn?"

"I'm thinking of selling the Mondeo. There's a guy up The Oak who wants to look at it."

We got our pints and watched the Waggoners, arriving. I had a quiet word with the guy who did the fixture list, and asked to play last. As Jack got up for his match, he draped his jacket over the back of a chair, and rolled his sleeves up. I said "My buyer's just arrived; I won't be long." I took his phone from his jacket pocket, went out to the carpark and drove home, taking my cue with me. I parked one street away and slipped quietly into the house. Removing the thick end of the cue from its case, I went silently up the stairs. I created a mental picture outside the bedroom door. Lee would be lying on her back, knees by her ears, and my so-called friend Mark would be buried in her. I was going to smack him across the head and wondered how hard to do it. I wanted him to suffer, but didn't relish a murder charge.

I opened the door and found I was spot on. Mark was balls-deep in Lee; her legs were over his shoulders. Her phone was on the nightstand, waiting for the 'omw' message. I figured I had a couple of seconds before they became aware of my presence. I used those seconds well. I swung at Mark and connected with the right side of his jaw. He staggered to one side and sat on the floor with one elbow on the corner of the bed. His injury was not serious but I took it easier with the second blow, which only broke his nose.

Lee rolled off the bed and stood in front of me. She was about to say something, but it couldn't be anything I'd be interested in. I gently touched her face with the cue, smearing some of Mark's blood on one cheek.

"Unless you want some of this, stand back and remain silent."

I would never have actually hit her, so was surprised when she did as she was told. Perhaps she'd never seen me in such a quiet rage before. I pulled Mark to his feet, and dragged him to the door.

"Lee - bring all the clothes downstairs, but don't put any on."

In the lounge, I ordered Mark to get to his knees. He dropped like a stone and I walked round behind him, placing the cue's business end on one of his shoulders.

"Answer my questions quickly and truthfully, or you'll get more of this. Now, how many times have you fucked my wife?"

He glanced at her as she arrived with the bundles of clothing. I gestured for her to drop them. He would be thinking I'd check his answers with Lee and Jack, and answered.

"Six." he said.

"Always on a Tuesday?"

"Yes."

"How did you get here tonight?"

"By car, it's just round the corner."

That was all I needed for now.

"Lee." I said. "Pick up your panties. Mark, stand up."

I hadn't had time to check what she'd been wearing. It turned out to be a lacy black thong. I made her kneel in front of him and he reluctantly stepped into them; his balls squeezing round the thin material. Then I made him put his shoes on; leather lace-up brogues; no socks. I gave him his car keys.

"You can go home. I'll keep your wallet and clothes, and remove some cash as payment towards a new bedroom carpet, and compensation for the damage you've done to my cue."

"But..."

"One more 'but' and you'll get this up yours." I brandished it in his face. "And while you're jogging round the block, think about reorganising our department. I'll hang on to your credit cards and driving licence till I get a promotion. Oh, and make sure you never drink in The Talbot again; Friday or any other night."

I made Lee come to the window and watch, as Mark trotted off down the street. He looked ridiculous; pale buttocks jiggling in the little thong. Then we sat on the sofa.

"I know you're just bursting to explain everything to me. Well part of your punishment is that I won't let you. I don't want to hear that it wasn't what it looked like. It was only sex. Or that you love me with all your heart. Just answer me."

I thought it best to test her with a question I already knew the answer to.

"Who else have you been fucking behind my back?"

"Jack."

"Any more?"

"No."

"Why did you do it?"

She just shrugged.

"Have you always done it here? Or been to their houses?"

"Just one time I went to Mark's place. You were playing pool with Jack, and I was near his house, getting my phone repaired."

I'd been to Mark's. He'd had a house-warming party just after he'd moved in there - post divorce. Nice place; much bigger than ours. Now, the next part of my plan was beginning to take shape. But for the time being, we just had to wait. Jack wouldn't be long. Barely twenty minutes later, a taxi pulled up.

"You can go and let him in." I said to the still naked Lee. "Do not try and cover yourself. Just bring him in here."

I heard him exclaim 'Lee!' but she didn't reply.

"Neil..." he began.

"Shut it!" I replied. "Go up to the bedroom - you know where it is - and when you've had a good look, get back down here!"

I heard him say 'Jesus!' before returning.

"Did you see the blood?"

He nodded.

"Did you kill him?" he asked.

"Possibly." I grinned.

"Oh God!" He buried his face in his hands.

"Now, unless you'd like to contribute some of your own blood, I suggest you answer my questions."

I threatened him with the cue, but there was no real need. He'd be working on the assumption I knew everything.

"How many times have you fucked Lee?"

"About a dozen."

So, she'd started with him. Mark must have been added later.

"Ever had her arse?"

"No, I don't fancy anal."

"Does Elaine know what you've been getting up to?"

"No, please don't tell her!"

"Oh? I got the impression that you were into that kind of thing."

"We've talked about it but haven't tried it yet."

"So you agreed you would try it first, and let Elaine know how it went. Is that it?"

"No! We agreed to do it together or not at all. She'll kill me if she finds out! Please Neil, I'm sorry. I'll do anything."

That's what every man wants to hear.

"Here's the deal then. Fuck me about, and Elaine gets told. You go home and tell her you've been thinking it over. And you've decided you're not particularly interested in having another woman. What you really want is for Elaine to have another man. You want all the anticipation of watching her get ready. You know, stockings, anal lubricant and so on. You want to watch her leaving the house, not knowing whether she'll come back that night or next morning. What will get you excited is her telling you all the filthy things she got up to. If you fancy licking her clean afterwards, feel free. And, tell her the person she should start with, is me."

"She'll ask what Lee thinks about all that."

"She will." I looked at Lee. "Tell her we've been having some difficulties, and are spending a little time apart. Nothing serious; we're probably getting back together again. But I'm currently living here on my own, and would appreciate some female company. You don't know what the problem is, and don't know where Lee is staying. But Elaine should talk to Lee tomorrow, and she'll confirm everything I said. She'll say she's happy for Elaine to keep me company, while we sort things out."

"OK."

"If you cannot persuade her to start fucking me soon, it'll be divorce for you; with all that entails. Strictly speaking half all that entails. Meanwhile," I continued, "remove yourself from the pool league. I'll explain I had family issues tonight, but will be back."

"OK."

"You'd better get off home then. Here's your phone - get dressed. Meet me in The Oak tomorrow night and let me know if Elaine is up for it."

When he'd left, I turned to Lee.

"You've been very quiet throughout this. Be assured that was absolutely right. Continue to do as I say, and you'll come out of this unharmed. We are going to separate for a while; I'm not sure how long. It depends how I feel, and what happens with Elaine. Go upstairs now and get some clothes on. Then pack enough stuff for, say, two weeks."

"Two weeks? Where will I go?"

"I'll sort out accommodation while you're packing. Don't worry, we'll keep in touch. I'll be changing all the locks. But if you find you need more things, you can come any time, if you give me reasonable warning."

While she was upstairs, I called Mark. He also agreed to my instructions. She came back lugging a big suitcase, looking like she'd packed for a month. Which would be fine - I didn't yet know if I wanted her back.

"I've called you a taxi."

"Where am I going?"

"Mark's. He's got room. Go and kiss his broken nose better - or anything else that hurts. I don't care what you do with him."

"I want to stay here!"

"Tough. You got what you wanted; now it's my turn."

The taxi sounded his horn.

"Lend me your phone a moment."

Before I gave it back to her, I sent Mark a message... 'omw'.