All Comments on 'On Me Ch. 01'

Hey youre back! Nice. Keep going. And dont make us wait that long again. :)

5 stars! well written chapter. BUT PLEASE - don't forget Off Limits. it was a great 1rst chapter there as well!

Apex Legends doesn't have crossplay. Nah I'm joking great story man. Hope you finish this one.

In all fairness and correctness I enjoyed this chapter a fair bit as it has solid body, soul and potential for a great multipart series. It is also the most vanilla thing you produced and, as would anyone here, I like a good portion of vanilla from time to time. The progress felt natural and in timely fashion, characters are real life-esque both in their thought process' and their reactions to real life situations (this includes the realisation of affection), as a whole it delivered on all fronts and made the whole experience a breeze to read.

Here comes the but - knowing you and your style I cannot keep the though away that you will inevitably put them through some horrendous experience that will raze their world before putting it and them back together. You already set that up a bit with their past and the way their father treated him. Here comes a minor nitpick in form of not so flashing out of other characters of the story as you usually do, though I like her friend who quickly put two and two together. Not sure how to best prepare for this is does happen and how to if you surprise us all and just keep it vanilla.

That being said I decide to give it a precocious 4* for now and see how ti all goes as series.

P.S. I was hoping that Off Limits would someday see a sequel and a proper conclusion.

Way too long. Seven pages and for what, a little making out and masturbation? If this is the best you can do, you need to either quit or try harder. People aren't going to read multiple Chapters before you finally decide to give them a bone.

Loved the story, build up, and internal conflict. Well written piece. Don’t let the anonymous critics get you down. Can’t wait for the finish.

Wow oh so hot and very sexy. The slow build had me on edge for a long time,=. Can't wait for some more of these two and just what becomes of them. Do they move in together when mom catches them? Hope daddy is not the one to find them I think he would shoot his son and we dont want that to happen.

good start please continue

Hey everyone, it's been a while. When a write a story, any story, it's important to me to establish the characters and their world before they get down and dirty. It's just the way I like to write, and it's that type of stories that I enjoy the most. I enjoy slowly getting the characters to the point where they cross the line, and I feel like I've been consistent on that front. I do agree that this story is more vanilla compared to my other stories , but it won't stay vanilla for long, believe me ;)

Captain, as always, I appreciate your review, and I agree that side characters weren't as fleshed out as the MC, but that was a conscious decision on my part, due to the sheer length of this chapter. As for Off Limits, more chapters will be posted, as well. Just needed to get a clear vision of what I wanted to do.

The Anon that commented on Apex not having crossplay gave me a laugh, because at first I wrote the scenes as if it had crossplay, but I quickly realized my mistake and made the adjustments. If you pay close attention, it is never mentioned that they are playing together in the same lobby.

As always, thanks for reading and commenting and stay safe!

BM

Homy shit. Too fucking long for what is basically a softcore porn

I am so glad to have come upon this story. I love long stories so much really thank you man. There's so much good stuff I want to say but just can't put it into word but yo keep up the work for real I'll be checking out some of your other work I bet it's going to be as good of not better than this one. Aww man I just want to say again awesome story Its really one of the best if not the best story on here. I look forward for the number two my guy......

This is one your best stories, the characters are fun the one i liked about the characters is that you had the female character a virgin, i almost thought that you were going to go with the cliché to please the general audience of this kinda stories but the other part of her likes getting it "Rough" was well written. I would prefer you focus on this story rather than "off-limits" this is far better than off-limits but thats just my opinion-preference. Can't complain much for a free story. Hope to see more this sotry and your other works soon.

Someone said this was too long, I completely disagree. We got to know the brother and sister as real people, not just as our masturbatory avatars. The gradual build up of the sexual tension and realisation of their true feeling of deep love make this an erotic work as opposed to the too common unbelievable two minutes of jerk fodder that is so often posted here.

It was also made much more realistic that it ended not with full intercourse and amazing sexual gymnastics but with passionate shared masturbation as they both finally acknowledged their true depth of mutual love and attraction.

Been a while since you posted, you haven't lost your touch. Another nice long romance in the offing?

So happy you came back! I really hope to get an update to your Off Limits story!

I certainly hope chapter two is coming soon. It was a long, long build up to the inevitable ending. Well written, maybe needed a little more proof reading for context issues. I enjoy your work and look forward to more.

So happy you're back. This is an excellent beginning with more than a few ups and downs already. Can't wait for the next chapter. Thank you!

Happy to see you back, digging the story so far and I found both the main characters very like able right off the bat.

P.S. Are you done with Save Me? If so Im sorry. I get that writing is hard enough as is and having to repeatedly rewrite things as it got reported definitely wouldn’t make things any easier or help with motivation.

I check this site every night for the continuing parts. I think this story has real potential. Like The Things You Make Me Feel. I like the slow build-up. Please upload more as soon as you can, i'm dying to read it all. I love it already.

I love both of your other series. This looks like the start of yet another amazing series.

Thank you for writing and inspiring others. Hope your staying healthy and safe in this time. Can't wait to read more.

Please release the series soon,, it got me so much wet...

Slow build is correct.

More please

Please do more of this series I was so hard throughout I love the slow build up the anticipation everything about it was so incredibly crafted

Amazing - the slow build up was awesome! More!!!

This definitely feels like beginning of another incredible series from you.I loved the characters of Skylar&Lucas and I love that your characters & stories are filled with love and romance than just meaningless sex.I feel really emotionally attached to your characters and stories which is in itself testament to your incredible talent as writer.I loved off limits as well and I hope you will update us on that story soon.Please dont make us wait for too long.I am literally checking everyday on this site for your next update.I hope your doing good.stay healthy&safe.

Non the less....! I've read a fess hundred stories on Lit.... it never filled my eyes with tears nor made my heart skip a beat or laugh out loud. Some put to much details, some don't put near enough, you make it just right. Everything feels right... this is how things happen. Less sexuality more sensuality... the desire... not something mechanical, it was emotional... it felt true.

Thank you very very much.

Best story i have read.

only an accident made my vote 4 not 5 stars. Fantastic. Can't wait for the next chapter

I loved the story,characters and their chemistry..I am a huge fan of your previous works"The Things you make me feel" & "siblingly Binding".You are probably one of the best writer on this site.I think this story is going to be another incredible series from you.please update with next chapter soon.A lot of us are checking everyday for next update..

A rly good story. Pls more

All of your stories have been phenomenal so far can't wait for you to continue this and your last work

Man you are a genius writer. Your stories have everything which makes it a great read. I have read this story more than 10 times now and love it more with each reading. It's been three months now please give us 2nd chapter been waiting for it for so long.common mate do it fast..take care

First of all, thank you so much for taking the time and effort to write and publish your stories so that we get to enjoy them for free! For that alone you deserve 5 stars! Loved this one. My only complaint is the ending of the chapter. They confess that they're madly in love with each other, then the sister tells the brother to keep his cock hidden and jerk off inside his swim trunks? Surely she could have offered a blowjob, and he could have eaten her pussy, if she's not ready to give up her virginity yet. She's 18, acting like she's 13. It was really incongruous to me, and kinda ruined the buildup.

Loving this story. We need, I need the next chapter! Smile

This story is phenomenal. Your writing is fantastic. The characters were wonderfully written, the slow pace of drama, romance and love scenes were perfect .I hope you will give us something like your previous two completed stories with this one. Eagerly Looking forward to next chapter.

I'm from Jamaica follow all your world an this was a master piece I am literally checking up everyday to see if u released chapter 2 dying to know what happens next ...I could feel my emotions rise with the mc through out it all u are a legend amongst writers in my opinion

Dear readers,

I have been seeing your comments, and I apologize for taking so much time with the following chapter. I'll be honest with you, inspiration/motivation has been hard to come by, and for a long time I just didn't feel like writing anymore. I probably didn't even look at the second chapter for over six months.

That being said, I do want to finish all of my stories and continue with other stories that are in various stages of progress. So, some good news: I'm almost done with the second chapter, so expect it sometime in March.

BM

Great Story, Don't stop now I'm hooked

Man I cant even describe you how much i loved this story. I have read this first chapter multiple times since it was published. I can definitely tell this "On Me" series will be masterpiece just like your previous two completed series. You are exceptional writer. A rare gem of an artist. You said we will get second chapter in March but now its mid April and we still haven't got it. Please give us second chapter ASAP. Its been a year since you gave us first chapter of ''On Me''. Eagerly waiting.....

5 stars, no doubt. There are a couple of other writers on here that tried writing Brother/Sister stories and they ended up being nothing but smut. Nothing erotic at all about them. Maybe I'm the one out of synch since I am of the male persuasion and I read the stories as much for the passion as for the bonding between brother and sister. Unlike a lot of people, I am very much aware why I am so captivated by stories like yours. I have an older sister. But tragically her short life only lasted 36 hours. HOURS. Not a typo. I grew up as an only child, knowing that I have to wait until the afterlife to meet the sister that I have always loved. I have this huge fucking hole in my soul and nothing will ever fill that void. I only hope that when we do finally meet that she loves me much like the characters in your stories love each other. Thanks for the therapy. I hope to be adding a few tales of my own to the group soon.

Excellent work. I really like your stories because they are of the more realistic variety - drawn out, with meaningful development. Great job.

You, Sir, are a true word smith, and you forged a masterful katana of a story here. I rarely comment, but this masterpiece absolutely compelled me to, even before I finished reading this chapter. Five stars, of course. Kudos!

Just love these slow burn incestual tale. So far this is a 5-star story.

This was a hard read. There is too much unnecessary filler. A long story doesn't mean a good story, the most important thing an amateur writer can do is self-edit.

I'm sorry men have hurt you so much in your life. You honestly cannot write a male lead at all. Sad.