All Comments on 'On The Boat Ch. 01'

Could be an interesting story, but far too many spelling and grammatical errors. Spell checkers won't catch when you use the word "looser" for "loser", "quite" for "quiet", etc. I would recommend you have someone proofread your work. Example: Several times you should have used "we'll" instead of "we". Even if your characters have another native language, it is unwise to make too many grammatical errors, even if you are doing it for effect. One of the best Hollywood comedy writers once told me, "Don't write with an accent. Even if your character would have one. It should be funny with or without the actor using an accent." That goes for grammar as well.