by Jonny_Blueline
Great series. Don't have the children and parents having sex. It will ruin the story.
The parents and their offspring will never have sex. That's one trope I can promise to avoid. Anything else is probably fair game. The characters are taking over their own stories, I'm becoming more of a chronicler as the chapters unfold.
Honest comments, criticisms and suggestions are really welcome. As other authors have noted - it's tough writing in a vacuum.
The past two chapters have demonstrated improvement over the first chapter; props to you and your editor for great progress. Realistic dialogue makes these young bisexual lovers believable characters. There are a few cliches at work, but they're not coming across as corny to me. The parents' sex lives add a different degree of heat, and even if this doesn't go further than bro-sis incest territory I think the matchups thus far are nice. Keep up the good work.
This episode scores higher than any of the other chapters (1 through 7). Obviously there are plenty of scenes or details that ring your collective chimes, so to speak. What would you like more of in this series? Please tell me and I'll work on it.
Thought I'd take a look at your work, since you were kind enough to favorite a couple of mine. The story is good, and the dialogue flows really well.
I know what you mean about stories basically writing themselves. It happens to me all the time, I get an idea and the story fills the page almost on its own.
Keep up the good work, you're very talented.