On the Loveseat Ch. 19

"I haven't seen you with anyone. You don't seem to have a girlfriend. You don't have one tied up at home do you?"

That question struck a nerve with me and I broke out with a short laugh.

"No. No one tied up at home."

I couldn't break my gaze from those azure pools. I felt the need to just dive into them.

"I wondered if maybe we could go somewhere. Have coffee sometime."

Her nervousness was quite cute.

"I don't drink coffee." I said blankly.

"Oh." Her demeanor collapsed. She looked around as if someone had interrupted her. "I'm sorry. I'll go now."

The girl started to turn, almost appeared ready to run.

I grabbed her shoulder lightly.

"That's not what I meant. I mean, I don't like coffee, but yeah, we could go somewhere if you want."

"Really? Like now?"

That she could be so bold to approach me and yet be so nervous at the same time was endearing.

"You have very pretty eyes." I blurted out for no reason other than to state it openly.

"You think so? Thanks. So do you." She held back a giggle.

I had pretty eyes?

That's not very manly to hear, but I accepted it graciously.

"Thanks, I think."

She did titter then.

We went to a nearby diner and had beverages.

And we talked.

For nearly four hours.

I hadn't realized it had been so long until I looked out the window and saw that it was dark.

I apologized and told her that I had to get home. She also had to leave.

It was only then that I realized that I didn't know her name.

We had been talking about everything like we'd known each other for years and it had never occurred to me to get her name.

"I'm sorry," I started as we stood to leave. "I never got your name. Mine's Jeremy."

"It's Erin." She said quietly with a demure smile. "I know your name. Jeremy."

She said my name as if proving it existed. I had to smile at that.

As we stood our hands met briefly like fluttering sparrows but withdrew shyly.

"I'll see you after school tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

"By the flagpole out front?" Erin suggested.

"Sure." I agreed. "Here, let me give you my number."

Erin handed me her phone and I added my digits to her contact list.

"Tomorrow then." I stated not asked.

Erin nodded and we parted.

I walked back to the school parking lot and drove home.

The rest of the family looked at me oddly at my late arrival. I merely said I had been with some friends and lost track of time. Mom eyed me cautiously as I ate my cold dinner. Could she suspect that I had lied about my afternoon? I didn't want to say anything about Erin, not yet anyway. Even with all that we talked about, I hardly knew her.

Except those blue eyes!

I didn't know what to make of Erin. She was pretty enough, but it was more than that that I was attracted to her. I just felt so at ease with her. Her sense of humor seemed quite comparable to me in the short time we had spent together. She had many similar likes, except of course for her choice of drink.

For the first time in a long while, I had not thought of my mother for some hours.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I still loved mom. Jenny.

I still wanted to get back together with her. To get her into my bed.

Or her bed.

But I now wanted to know more about Erin also.

Just as I was about to go to bed my phone buzzed. It was an unknown number.

'Goodnight Jeremy. Erin.'

I smiled when I read it.

But I was nervous too. It seemed very forward for someone that seemed so shy that afternoon.

I sure hoped she really wasn't some crazy stalker girl!

I looked for Erin the next day in the hallways but it was a large school and I hardly knew a tenth of my classmates. Much less the larger school populace. Still, I found it odd that we had never passed each other in the halls, or seen each other in the lunchroom. Or had we? She clearly knew who I was. I just didn't know Erin.

As much as I was attracted to this girl, I felt I should be cautious. At least until I knew more about her.

Or what my situation was with mom.

I did almost rush to the flagpole meeting place when school let out. It was only a few minutes later when Erin showed up.

She had on a school sweatshirt and wore jeans again. Her hair was tied in a ponytail. Erin's eyes had arrived a few milliseconds before her.

I unconsciously smiled at the sight of her.

"Hey." I greeted her.

"I wasn't sure you'd be here." Her smile was reserved.

"Why?" I asked. I didn't think I had given her reason to doubt my interest.

"I realized after I texted you last night how crazy that might seem. You just met me."

I laughed nervously but tried to make it seem as if she'd told me a joke.

"No, it was fine. Friendly." It was only a semi-lie.

"I'm sorry. I like you. For a while actually. I've just been nervous about approaching you."

The irony of a girl being nervous approaching me rather than the opposite wasn't lost on me. I might have acted the same in her position.

"I just didn't know if you had a girl already and I didn't want to be rejected if you did." Erin's eyes fell to the concrete.

"I ... I kind of had ... a girl. But she ... broke up with me recently." I said cautiously.

"It couldn't have been anyone at school." Erin looked around like any of the number of departing girls could have been her rival.

"No. No one from school. It was ... complicated." I looked squarely at her to bring her attention back to me.

"I just would like to get to know you better. I haven't talked with someone so easily as yesterday in ... like forever."

"Me either." I agreed. "I think I'd like to know you better too." I smiled at her to calm her nerves.

Her smile in return was like the sun on a cloudy day.

"Coffee?" I asked.

"I don't like coffee." Erin said with a wry grin.

"I think that's my line." I grinned back at her. "Let's take my car this time."

It was only a short two blocks but I didn't feel like walking back afterwards.

I tried to pay more attention to the clock that time but it was still almost dark when we left the diner.

Erin surprised me as we exited the building by grabbing me and planting her lips on mine. I melted into hers.

It lasted only a minute but it was one of the best kisses I'd ever had.

I smiled at Erin numbly.

"See you tomorrow." She said as she started down the street. She got a dozen paces and turned and waved. I flapped my arm back like a zombie.

I don't know if these past two days counted as dates or not, but to me it felt like things were going slightly quicker than I liked. I know we hadn't done anything but the one kiss and had talked for countless hours, but I was still getting over mom and I didn't want Erin to be a rebound relationship. If that was even where we were headed.

I don't want to say that I didn't want to have sex with Erin. I didn't need to know a hot girl to want sex with her, but if there was to be any chance of anything more with this new girl, we had to get to know each other first.

Or that's what I thought anyway.

And the fact that I still was working on winning mom back didn't make things any easier.

Mom was surprised to see me home late again. I repeated the same excuse as yesterday. Out with friends. I don't know if she believed it and that I wasn't just still avoiding her. She wouldn't have been completely wrong either.

I had been home only an hour when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

I pulled it out expecting it to be Erin.

'Wish I was still talking with you.' With a smiley face emoji.

I texted back, 'Me too. I like talking to you.'

Then I added, feeling foolish for doing so, 'I miss looking in your beautiful eyes.' With the smiley face and heart eyes emoji.

I looked up after typing and saw mom looking at me curiously. Did my face betray me? I may have been grinning widely.

I finished my cold dinner, again, and went up to my room.

Erin and I texted back and forth for the next few hours, not saying anything important outside of a high school's halls. Teachers, classes, our impending graduation, movies we each liked, music, the arts, world peace, you know, the usual things.

I fell asleep that night and it wasn't mom's face that I saw in the darkness behind my eyes, but Erin's blue eyes shining brightly.

The next day, I did see Erin at lunchtime at the far end of the large room. I waved to her and she caught my motion and waved back but she was with a group of people and didn't join me. I was slightly depressed at that. But I also didn't leave my friends to join her either.

We met after school and went to the diner. This time I bought us each some apple pie with whipped cream piled high. Again, I couldn't say exactly what we talked about, but the time just flew by as we babbled together. The kiss as we parted was longer and full of the building passions we were feeling about each other.

I did discover that she had been attracted to me for awhile but had been afraid to approach me and that the quickly arriving end of school and our graduation had made her finally overcome her apprehension. I was glad that she had and also was glad that she had done so when she had, any earlier and I might have discounted her attraction and turned her down since I was with my beautiful and sexy mother. But that was in the past and I had to move forward.

Besides this was exactly what mom had wanted me to do from the start, find a girl my own age to be with.

I don't know if that was still the case, but as mom had now rejected me, I had no recourse.

I still didn't know what would happen with Erin, but it appeared to be going good as long as I didn't do anything to jeopardize things.

Like continue my futile quest to get mom back.

And I had to make sure Erin didn't learn anything about my previous girlfriend!

Speaking of which, I got a cold glare from mom to go with my cold dinner.

"If you're going to be spending all this time with your friends, you're going to have to eat out or come home and make your own. I'm not going to keep making your meals if you're not going to be here." Mom told me sternly. The way she had emphasized friends made me think she knew I had been with a girl. She had good reason too, as I had never missed two meals in a row before because of time spent with friends. Dinner had been too important to me!

"I'm sorry mom. It's just I've missed spending time with them. You know, I've been occupied elsewhere recently."

My glare in return had a touch of a leer that was not lost on my mother.

"Yes, I know." She looked at the floor then back at me. "I'm sorry about that. Well, not sorry, but ..." She sputtered.

"I know mom." I interrupted her. "I'll try to be home earlier. I don't want to miss out on your delicious cooking."

This brought a smile to her face that stung my heart.

Mom leaned to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"I do still love you Jeremy. I hope you remember that."

Her voice was heartfelt and she turned away from me. I wasn't sure if she meant that as just my mother.

"I love you too mom." I answered. I was glad she wasn't looking at me. Speaking those words while looking at her face would have crushed me.

I texted back and forth with Erin while I worked on the bit of homework I had that night. Mom knocked on my door cautiously after she had tucked in Jojo. She entered slowly as if expecting me to be jerking off. If it would have gotten any results with her, I might have been.

I put down my phone and said, "What's up mom?"

I could still picture her nude with her full breasts and stiff nipples inviting my lips, her patch of hair below that surely needed a new trimming, and those delicious hidden lips that ...

I had to shake the vision away.

"I just wanted to make sure that you are okay. You've been ... not your usual self lately."

"Things have been ... hard, but I think they might be getting better."

I couldn't pass up the chance for a bit of innuendo.

Mom's slight turn of her lips let me know that she caught it.

"I know things are going to be ... difficult between us for awhile, but I want you to know that this isn't easy for me either. I do miss being with you. Things are better with Justin than before, but he isn't you."

Mom's eyes were wandering all over my room, avoiding my eyes.

"Mom ..." I broke in.

"Jeremy," she continued. "I want to keep being your mom; I don't want you to hate me because of what needed to be done. You know it's for the better, or you will one day. Hopefully soon."

"I understand mom. I do. But that doesn't mean I don't still want to be with you. I don't think that will ever change. Even if I do find someone else." I stared into her emerald eyes fiercely.

I spoke cautiously. I didn't want her to think that I possibly had someone already. It felt like I was betraying those feelings so easily with the first girl that came along.

No matter how right things felt with Erin.

"That's nice dear. I feel the same way also. Who would have thought that the perfect man for me was my own son?" Mom glanced at the ceiling, her question not meant for me to answer. "But we can't go on like we were. Jessica was right, someone was going to get hurt. More than we are right now. Better to end it now then after Justin, or anyone else, found out about us. We were very lucky."

"I was very lucky." I declared, but meant it in a completely different way than she did.

Mom smiled at that.

"No, I was the lucky one." Her smile was so warming. Her eyes may have even gotten misty.

"This is for the better Jeremy."

"If you say so mom. It doesn't feel that way."

"Over time it'll get better."

I still doubted that.

"Are you still good with school? Graduation is getting very close."

"Yeah. Things are actually looking up at school." I responded quickly.

"That's good. I'd hate that this ... whole thing messed up you graduating with your class." The worry in her voice was touching.

"No, mom, things are good. I could probably miss the rest of the year and still graduate."

"Well, let's not go that far, shall we?" Mom knew I was teasing but she still looked firmly at me.

"You know me better than that."

"Still no plans for college?"

I had so many plans that they boggled my brain. I had acceptance letters from a few, even a scholarship or two, but I hadn't been able to decide where I wanted to go yet. Up to recently I had wanted to stay close to home to be near mom, still did actually, but that option had grown stale now.

"Lots of plans, but no decisions yet." I told her.

"Whatever you decide, you know your father and I are behind you." Mom said tenderly, adding more feeling to her words to cover her partial fib.

"Dad too?" I chided her.

"He may not be happy with your choice, but you know he will support you in it regardless. He does love you too."

"I know. He could show it better." I said, my tone darker.

"Like I did?" Mom teased trying to lighten the mood.

"No, not like that." I had to grin at mom's suggestion. And then I shivered at the further implication of dad joining mom and I.

"You would have loved that, wouldn't you Jenny?"

"Jeremy!" Mom's voice rose at my using her name. Then a smile creased her lips.

"It's an interesting thought. Being with the two men that love me, together." Mom's eyes got dreamy and unfocused.

"Earth to mom." I called out.

"Right. Well, as long as you're okay." Mom turned to leave.

"Not okay, but I'll live."

"That'll have to be enough for now I guess."

"Goodnight mom."

"Goodnight Jeremy." Mom closed the door behind her.

I glanced at my phone and there were a few messages from Erin, the last one saying that if I was busy she'd see me tomorrow.

'Goodnight Erin.' I texted.

Even having lost my mother as my lover, things weren't going to get any easier for me.

Erin and I did meet up at lunch after ditching our respective groups of friends. When the warning bell went off it seemed no time had passed. It was also the first kiss we had in school when we parted. Both of us were late to our next class.

We met up after school, but skipped the diner and instead just walked around the neighborhood for a few hours. I was thrilled because we held hands the whole time like we were a couple. But I guess we were.

We talked about many things again, never seeming to run out of topics or things to say even though it felt like we knew each other forever. I worried this was going too fast after my break-up from mom. I didn't want to ruin things by going too quick. I wasn't sure about our status and with me not being able to let things go, I had to ask.

We were halfway back to the school when I blurted out, "What are we now? Are we dating? A couple?"

Erin stopped walking and looked at me a bit stunned.

"Don't you want to be?" She asked plaintively.

"Yes. Yes, of course I do. But things are going kinda fast. We just met." I answered as I stared back at her.

"Do you believe in fate, Jeremy?"

"What? I don't know. Sometimes, but I'm not sure."

"I think we were fated to be together. Why did I wait so long until I met you? You were with someone and you would have turned me down or ignored me, right?" Erin looked intensely at my face.

I couldn't say she wasn't right. While with mom, I had been blind to many girls that had been possibly flirting with me. But there was another explanation as to why Erin chose now.

"School is about to end. We'd all go our separate ways. You knew you didn't have much time left to meet me. That isn't fate. More of desperation."

"Whatever. But you didn't answer about your ex-girlfriend, so I'll take that as a yes."

Erin took my hand and resumed walking, the matter settled. To her mind anyway.

When we got back to the school and were standing in the parking lot, unable to let the other go just yet, Erin declared that she wanted to go out with me the next night, Friday. I wasn't sure about this. That would make it a date, a real date. There were expectations on a date. Until now, we'd been good friends. And even with her belief that we were fated to be together, that only added a lot of pressure to make sure things went well. One date led to another and next you know, you're in bed together. I wanted to take things slow, make sure that things were good between us before we messed things up by including sex in the mix.

Not that I didn't want sex. I always, ALWAYS wanted sex!

But I really liked Erin. I didn't want to lose her like I had with the many others before her.

Okay, the few others. Still.

I got home before dinner. Jojo and Johnny were playing a game on the living room floor. Dad arrived soon after me and seemed surprised to see me. Mom came out of the kitchen and when she saw me, she commented on my presence.

"Decided to have a hot dinner tonight? Abandoned your friends to eat with your family?" She said with a snide tone.

I wanted to make a comment back but I held my tongue. Mom smiled at me and returned to the kitchen.

"Daddy when can we have movies night again?" Jojo came out with unexpectedly after dad had sat down.

My father gave me a look like I was the deciding factor. I just stood dumbly and looked back at him. He then turned to Jojo; Johnny was also looking at dad with interest.

"I suppose we could have it tomorrow night. What do you say to that honey?" He called out to mom in the other room.

"What's that dear?" Mom poked her head out.

"The kids are asking about our Friday movie night. Tomorrow night okay?"

Mom paused a moment like she had to think about it. Were they settled now that things could get back to normal? Well, normal for the rest of them. I don't know if things could ever be normal for me again after my affair with mom.

"I suppose it will be. I've missed our family time together." Mom actually looked at me then. Whatever she'd missed wasn't going to happen anymore. According to her anyway. It didn't matter to me, I had other plans.