by Xarth
Amazing development of the plot. The way the level of excitement was maintained throughout was fantastic. Exactly what I've come to expect from a Xarth submission.
A great story. I loved the build up as the sibs came to realize their true feelings. Simply superb writing.
What a thrill to find a new Xarth story! And it matched my expectations entirely! Not a misplaced word anywhere! Nor an unnecessary one! Just hope the sequel (sequels) comes (come) soon - like later today! These sibs have so much more to learn about themselves - and they are sure to be discovered, since they aren't really hiding anything. Then what?
Well done, kept my interest throughout. When's the follow-up stories?
As usual Xarth. Realistic dialogue, motivations and actions. And you didn't screw up the ending like so many other writers on this site do. I'd love to see another chapter but this is excellent as a standalone.
Great story,extremely well written couldn't stop reading I loved the gradual journey into love Thanks Xarth
This was a great story. The progression was perfect and the situations were believable.
I'm really hoping for a Part Two soon.
Have read so many stories on here and this one was definately an excellent one hope to see a part 2 soon
I liked the slow build up and sex play before they had sex for the first time.
Great to read someone who don't have to include a monster cock just to make their story.
Great build up and the sex scenes were fun as well as emotional and not pure raunch. :)
I would love to see a follow up story with these characters
Completely amazing story included everything I could hope for in a story. Characters the reader could definitely relate to and a sense of real emotions that hook a reader and create an attachment to the story on a personal level. Truly one of my favorite stories on this site.
You have a gift for building up the intensity of a story.
Your choice of words are so descriptive it makes one
feel as if they are watching a movie. Please continue
with this story. For one, I would love to know how
things turn out for your main characters.
Great story with a nice build up and very well written scenes. I loved it. Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the awesome work. ^__^
This story took quite a bit more time and effort than usual so I'm glad it's being received so well already. And hey, just made the top 250 list of most favorited authors on the site thanks to you guys.
Cheers
Xarth
The eroticism of this story built up at just the right pace. Very believable and very erotic. I am usually not a fan of long stories, but this one just seemed to make me want to read more and more.
Very nice story, great details, and best of all, it didnt include the almost always needless 8+ inch cock and 38DD breasts that some writers feel they have to include in their stories, which in reality cheapens the stories and doesnt add to the eroticism at all.
Keep up the great work, look forward to your next story!!!
This is a very well written story. The pacing of the events is impeccable, and your inclusion of their feelings gradually growing adds a sense of realism. This makes me want to write more of my own story. Great job!
EXCELLENT story line and pace! There's no way to stop reading until you get to the end. I'll have to check out your other stories. Thanks for sharing!
RecHiker
I really really loved this story. Most stories i see simply get straight to the point, and most do not focus on the emotional side, or even the build up. For just randomly finding this story, i am both surprised and glad. No idea if there is a follow up or not, but going to find out now. But as Thor would say 'I like this, more!'
I've been reading your stories for a while now, and I just have to say that you are my favorite author. Your stories are very believable, and so well written. Thank you for sharing your talent with the world.
I really enjoyed your story, will have to read your others now. Very Good thank you.
I almost never read stories this long and very seldom give anyone a five but I'd like to give this one a 35. That's a five for every single page. Freaky good story.
Its a great story I enjoyed every word of it completly, worth way more then 5 stars, would love to see it continued off of :)
I've never commented on a story before but I thought this one was so brilliantly put together with excellent tension and build up. Great story, write some more ;)
The extra time you put in shows, Xarthster. Your characters and their interactions are getting deeper, richer. You've still maintained your deft touch for setting a scene too. Good naughty fun all around. I'm looking forward to your climb up the favorites list.
Cheers,
PF
You keep getting better with each story. This is very well done, nice characterization, and good story development. Everything that is said, and that happens, seems like it could happen in the real world, and would naturally occur in the world of your story. Outstanding.
You brought the story to life and every detail was like icing on the cake. Is there to be a second chapter ?
I was absolutley memorized by this story! It was so well written. It flowed amazingly! Please for the love of God, continue this!!!
So many literotica stories just jump into the sex. They have no build up, and more importantly, no believablity. This story had great pacing and the characters were credible.
Just one small criticism, and believe me its minor. Sometimes the conversations were a little too pat. They agreed too much. People, even though they love each other, and want the same general things, have differences of opinion. These two agreed on everything.
That aside, great story, and it kept me coming back for more.
Great story no wham bam thank you maam, both characters thought out the consequences and realized things were never going to be the same, though kylie appeared to given some thought the idea long before the trip
...such an amazing build. Far beyond most incest stories in quality and plausibility. Great piece of work!
Thank you for taking the time writing this! I really enjoyed it.
That was a very well-plotted, entirely plausible, and very delicious story to read. I love how you first fleshed out the characters before drawing us into their carnal liaison.
This story is by far the most tittilating, arousing and exciting story I have read yet. Excellent writing and the subject matter is so different than the average run of the mill brother-sister stories found here. It totally drew me in and could imagine it being me as the brother. A total turn on. So very sorry it ended. Would love to see the story continue. Keep up the fine work.
Amazing. Simply amazing. Wish I could convince my husband to be the 'big brother' every once in a while...
It was great but honestly didnt have qlot of sex in it through the 7 pages it was still thebest ive read so far though
I'd prefer your stories if they had the siblings hooking up strictly for fun
Thanks for this story. I'm wondering how they can maintain, but then, it's a story, isn't it?
"Hot! Anonymous" wants to know how Jase and Kylie can maintain their rlationship, and I do too. The parents are bound to realise what's going on, and most likely some of their friends will, also. And that's certainly meat for another chapter. So I hope you are working on that story, Xarth - most writers here couldn't handle so complex a tale,but I think you can. Please do!
I like the slow-burn pace, the build-up of tension, and the dialogue - it sounds real. Definitely needs more chapters, I would like to see how they manage their relationship once the vacation's over, where they go from here.
Normally, I don't like to leave feedback or comment; but your story just toppled that habit. Amazing chemistry between the siblings, and a beautiful pace to the story. Being an author myself, it was a really good thing that you ended the story on their trip itself, or... You know, parents find out; quarrels, running from home, bla bla...
On a scale of 10, you surely topped the charts! One of my Top 10 authors now!
Great story. Perfect buildup. Plausible chain of events instead of stupid "porno" situations.
My only complaint is that it got a little too romantic at the end. I liked it earlier in the story when they knew they were doing something wrong but were overcome with lust.
Given the road those two have traveled, there should be a follow up.
Knowing from personnel experience, that an incest relationship is hard to
maintain and grow, I believe you have shown these two have the ability
and love to deal with their future. Reminds me so very much of my life.
A strong buildup filled with multiple hot and memorable scenes. Great work! I will be checking out your others.
i started to fall asleep by the end of page two it was so boring.
I wouldn't pay too much attention to critics who thought it was too long, or too romantic. There's nothing wrong with a love story, and if they don't like it there are plenty of other stories to read.
Beautiful story. I love the relationship and the slow build up. It gives a sence of connection that i really enjoy. And the time dedicated to the build up makes it much more beleivable, and much more enjoyable.
Just read this story for the 3rd time and found myself as thoroughly engrossed as before. Yes, it's a bit long by the standards of the average tale, but so beautifully developed it NEEDS the length. Someone comments the sibs get along too well and never argue, and he has a point. A little disagreement, amiably resolved could have added even more interest. But this episode belongs, I think, among the highest ranking on this site.
I loved your story and can't believe I hadn't come across it before. It was beautifully sweet and really sexy at the same time. Thanks for writing.
This is my favorite story here. Great sex scenes/ adorable love story. Good job.
Beautifully written!!! Would love to see more of Jason and Julie!!!!
this is far from great, it was very sloppily written and obviously was not proofread at all. there are way to many missing words and wrong words, this is nothing but a first draft and never should have been posted. dlete and run it through a good editor then repost it and always use a good editor before posting any story.
plus there is no end so you wasted our time. seven pages and you leave us hanging such a waste either finish it or delete it but don't leave it like this.
Sorry I can't agree with the last two - this was an excellent story.
I would like to read more about them, though.
I agree....an excellent story...wonderfully woven...smoldering passion building...more more more...PLEASE!!!!!
I enjoyed the story and I, for one, wasn't overly concerned with the grammatical and spelling errors. The anonymous commenter, on the other hand, who claimed the story had "obviously never been proof read" should have definately had his/her comment proof read before submission. "To many" should be "too many" and last time i checked "dlete" should have another "e" in it. Pot and kettle comes to mind on this.
Build, build, build and then
oops, did you really think I would do that?
I absolutely detest it when an author thinks it is OK to mess with the readers as if it didn't matter.
First things first, hand job, blow job, come in her mouth, swallow cum, then eating pussy, then fucking and finally anal.
Lets not forget feeling her tits, and sucking them.
You know foreplay, turn her, and you on.
Oh, was she on birth control when he shot in that baby batter, or does she have a bun in the oven.
This story had great potential, if it where mine. I'd have crashed into a tree while Kylie was swallowing a load of my cum in the car.
Then I would have been eating her shaved little sister pussy, when came to visit me in the hospital.
No jerking off under the covers, or Ky fingering herself with her panties on.
He didn't see her tits until he had anal with her.
Good read that could have been way, way better.
Fags with no concept of English as a language or of what a short story is. Suggest they look for another FREE website that posts FREE literal masterpieces, with NO short stories, because these third graders need their stories over explained and repetitive.
If you're gonna critique a story, especially in an as boringly offensive manner as you do, do the author a favour -and us fellow readers, and actually critique it.
I've commented on your works before, and I must again. Xarth has fantastic skills and abilities to tell a simple story in a way that feels like you (the reader) are an observer to the action, not reading someone's account. His pacing is also quite magnificent.
This particular story felt like a slow descent into Hell (or ascent to Heaven, depending on perspective) with the inevitable being obvious, but the path being enticing, addicting and irresistible.
I'm impressed with this story because you made Jason and Kylie so much like living beings with thoughts and emotions - particularly Kylie, her personality as seen through her brother's eyes. Dialogue dominated the flow, making it feel fun and engaging. You also addressed some pretty heavy themes in incestuous relationships, without detracting from the story itself.
While I'd be interested to see where they go from here, you left it perfectly, just after their final union, so caught up in their new romance to be all but oblivious to reality.
Great job, one of my favorites. This story is similar to "Sara's Car Trip" by youbadboy, but yours seems more rounded and real.
this is really one of my favorite stories by far! really amazing!!!
As much as I liked the story, Kyle is a loser whiney pussy-assed bitch, sheesh. They should outlaw the character type in stories!
can i just say that i have spent the past 12 hours reading everything you have posted. you are an amazing writer and have a very good imagination. there is so many stories out there now about incest that are just sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. but you include actual emotions and sentiment into your work and i really appreciate that. if you ever thought of publishing your stories into an adult novel, or expanding onto them with a sequel then i would be behind you 100% and i look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
I have been on this site for about the last month, and all the stories all these guys seem to be extremely blessed in the genetal area, which for me is off-putting and then the sister has these DDD breasts, I loved the fact that you didn't go into those details leaving the reader some imagining to do. The build-up was exceptional, not just "oh you are naked let me fuck you" but I loved getting to know the characters and real fears and doubts. Definitely my favorite story I have come across.
Excellent writer!!
Very special talent you have for bringing out the true feelings of your subjects!
Keep writing!!
Would love to find out how mom/parents react when they find out, accidentally...
I intrigued by your ability to pack so much feeling into such short stories. With few exceptions, you manage to set emotionally-charged scenes and resolve them in a couple pf pages, with characters we can care about. Like others, I would like to see some of these stories continued. But really, yours is a unique talent.
The perfect balance between heartwarming emotions and hot sex is what makes this story one of the best i've ever read.
Some mention of birth control would prevent me from thinking I am watching the beginning of a train wreck.
That I really liked. Slow build up, but powerful ending. And just as importantly, it had a proper ending, we're not just left wondering how it turned out.
Well worth more that 5 stars !
Another chapter covering the rest of the holiday and when they got home would be a very welcome bonus, if you should feel up to it !
Option B
And the 2nd car was big enough for all 4 of them.
Did you not read the part that basically said they convinced their dad to take the two seater so he n his sister didnt have to put up with his b.s.?..... pay attention to the story so when you complain you dont sound dumb.
This is an amazing story from start to finish. Hot, hot, hot!!
However, I am gobsmacked that someone could read something like this, (having come to a site like this, presumably to read stories like this), and focus on such an irrelevant detail as why the characters took two cars when one would do.
Keep up the brilliant work.
He's a moron who speed-reads through a story then jumps on irrelevancies because he hasn't actually taken anything in - let's just say there are gnats with longer attention spans. This story is in a class of its own, from the acknowledged master, long may you reign.
For such a naughty but sweet story that has a sustained electric charge throughout, I feel that the line "'So are we gonna be, like, together now?' Kylie asked me." is the most satisfying, as it concretely acknowledges that they both want their new change in their relationship to be long term. But even though both of them want to commit to each other, they probably need to transfer universities to be together if they are currently attending different ones.
Definitely five stars.
Did you not read the story? Mid life crisis and all that? Start reading and comprehending what is going on. Either that or stop commenting. Xarth is a fine teller of tales. But there are always people like you that will find fault.
TBC
I am in the process of reading through your list of stories and I must say I enjoyed this one immensely, I like how you took your time and developed the characters, their feelings and emotions, there is a feeling of emersion to your longer stories like this that is truly astounding and is something that I rarely feel when reading on this site, it's not often I find myself holding my breath in anticipation of what is going to happen next or being completely oblivious to anything going on around me because I am too emersed in what I am reading but that is what occurred with this story. Thank you for a fantastic read, you are an amazing author.
... I know exactly what you mean, getting entirely immersed in the story. Same here.
This one drew me in the most of Xarth's stories I've read so far, and even though they are just characters in a story, I find myself wishing them the best.
Well developed, and well written.
5 Stars.
Great reading. All of your stories intrigue me I cannot stop reading them even when I need to get some sleep before shift. Please do not stop. Keep up the good work and thanks again.
Your write some of the sexiest and hottest brother sister stories that I have ever read.
Beautifully written, wish your stories went much longer. they would make great full sized novels some of them.
There are spelling and grammar mistakes. However the story was as good as any I have read here and better than most. I loved the ending and really felt like giving it a 5 so there you go.
Really enjoyed the way that love developed between Jason and Kylie it was nice and slow as they embarked on a voyage of discovery, not only the sexual discovery of each other but also the emotional discovery finding that they were in love with each other and wanted nothing more than to be together.
A true sibling love story
This was a really good one - probably top 3 of the brother - sister genre I've read on here. Thanks for writing it!
I'll be moving across country next year and moviing into my sister's home. Each time I visit, I get signals that she is interested in more than just being roommates. From the prolonged hugs to the risque comments, and the talk of going on cruises together, there is sexual tension in the air. Now she says she will come out and help me drive from Arizona to Florida which will take several days. We are not young people, but seniors that still have raging hormones in spite of our ages. I'm widowed and she is divorced, so there is no one to stop a nice relationship from forming. I'm hoping wwe can be like Kylie and Jason and have a real love develop on the way!!
Another well written story. Good plot and character development. There were a couple of editing errors; wrong word, wrong tense, etc., but nothing that distracted from the story. I am looking forward to encountering another of your stories as I make my way through the index.
One of my faves in this category. Loving. Romantic and very realistic. Great job I smiled a few times reading it.
Whit the talk of anal I knew this would be another gay story.
Please continue this story. At least to a few days after they get home. Too good to stop here.