All Comments on 'On The Run Ch. 01'

I think it's off to an interesting start and i will read the next chapter. The only critique I have is that your female character was a little too complacent. I mean this guy walks into your house, puts a knife to your neck, and you decide to sleep with him? And then offer to make yourself into a fugitive by helping him out. I hope she gets some backbone during their little trip. I guess I will have to wait and see. Thanks for writing.

She moved too readily into a comfort zone with this man, who is not only a complete stranger but an escaped convict. It's only his word that he was in prison for tax evasion. A smarter woman would be on full danger alert. <br><br>

This is in the Romance section, so that's why I'm being a little harsh. Usually, there is some sort of slow build up. The reader is allowed to get to know the main characters a bit, as in turn they get to know each other. In this story, she has "known" this man for perhaps an hour, most of spent being tied up as a prisoner. Then, he discovers she is a virgin and cannot resist taking her virginity. It really has very little to do with developing any real feelings for her as a person. It appears that the idea of having a virgin is just impossible to resist. It's not really romantic. And she is not given the choice of yes or no. <br><br>

What I felt most of all was sad for this girl. Does she have any friends? Like they say, you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. By writing that she is actually thankful to this stranger, I get the sense of someone with very little self worth.<br><br> In real life, I would hope that a girl like this would develop some stronger social skills, learn to value herself more, be able to find out what she loved to do and earn a living doing it, and then meet a guy who would get to know her, and then fall in love with her.

I can fully understand Allison's feelings. I too was attacked and I don't exactly know when ,but I found myself being attracted to my attacker. We have been togehter now for 25 years. Mother Mary in New Jersey

Liked it.Please continue the story.

Escaped Prisoner Adopts Adopted Child

Allison is an adopted child whose adoptive parents prefer their natural children over Allison and treat Allison like a step child. Enter Eric. He's on the run. Breaking into Allison's house, he finds a willing accomplice.