On Why Cuckolding Stories Produce Strong Reactions

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Thoughts on why cuckold stories enrage some readers.
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I was reading a review in which a Literotica author wondered why her cuckolding stories so often produced enraged comments, a question I too have often had about such stories. I mean why read what you don't like, it's not like authors don't often warn reader with their story titles or a preface paragraph. Why read, presumably jerk off, and then attack the author?

While I think the common complaint that the Loving Wives section should be split into separate categories, with cuckolding given its own place has some merit, I suspect we'd still see angry comments following such stories. Why then do people get angrier at the idea of a wife enjoying a stranger's cock than at stories depicting at rape or violence? Or incest, bondage, homosexuality or other controversial sex? At first glance this does seem counterintuitive. I've written this essay to both offer my own insights into cuckolding and why it remains such a hot button topic for many men.

Female sexuality has always had an enormous risk and reward, ever since we settled down and starting living in cities thousands of years ago. Before then sexual indiscretions were either allowed or punished according to the rules of the tribe. In small family groups secrets could not be kept for long if at all since everyone knew each other. Once we started living in larger groups with strangers the potential for thefts became painfully evident, and from a man's perspective his most precious possession was his wife, the mother of his children.

One of the first and most universal social traits in developed societies is preventing women from straying, willingly or not. Once strangers are around a man had to prevent the chance of another taking his wealth, and his most prized possessions were his sense of himself as a man and his wife who shared his most intimate secrets and bore his children. Thus having sexual intercourse with a man's woman violated what he held most precious, a sense of pride in himself, her sacred organ that gave him alone pleasure, and his claim to his children. There are only two ways such a tragedy could occur, unwillingly or with the consent of his wife.

A key element of rape is it's not mere sexual frustration but control over another: the ultimate evil is a man controlling a woman against her will, something all sane individuals understand and why we rightfully have severe consequences for such violations. Thus if his wife were raped a man was outraged, humiliated, hurt, and infuriated. Sometimes this fury would be visited unfairly on the wife as well as her rapist, but like conquest in war where such actions were common and even expected, it was viewed as an inevitable injustice, an act of overwhelming and irresistible force. If vengeance could be meted out, it was, and if not one endured and waited to see if one could one day strike back. A man could recover his sense of self in the hope of future vengeance, and daily reclaim his possession of his wife's body.

Cuckolding involves a similar dynamic, but with the additional betrayal of the most trusted other, the wife herself. If rape is loathed because of the emotional and psychological harm it inflicts then in some minds cuckolding is even worse because one is being betrayed not just by a criminal stranger, friend, or relative but by the wife, a doubling of the pain for the husband. His wife has not just been harmed, as happens if or when she is forcibly taken against her will by another, but she has consented and sought out another to betray her husband. She has willingly joined his oppressor and taken pleasure in her husband's betrayal, and will continue to do so.

Then there is the element of competition, of being bested by another in the most sacred place in his life, the home. This is why the marriage bed itself is so often an element in cuckolding stories: the most intimate place in a man's home has been used to humiliate him by having another man take his wife and please her more than he can. Likewise the stranger will, often before the very eyes of the husband, use her in every imaginable way, ejaculating in her mouth, on her breasts, flooding her pussy and even filling her ass with his cum, and his wife will not only let him use her in ways her husband has not, or has been forbidden to do, but will praise her lover as he takes his pleasure. The hectoring shrew her husband endures will becomes a compliant slut willing to allow the interloper his every wish.

An inevitable aspect of the genre is the interloper must be noticeably larger, stronger, more muscular and better endowed than the husband. His most precious possession, his wife, openly enjoys what he cannot give, orgasming with a superior lover whose very appearance, right down to his larger, harder, more capable cock mocks, shames, and humiliates the cuckold. It will come as a surprise to no one than the vast majority of men view a big cock as validation of superior masculinity and fear their own organs are not large enough. Thus average men fear the thought that their wife secretly (or not so secretly) wants to feel a stranger fuck her better, deeper, harder, longer, give her more intense and frequent orgasms. Having these fears validated, even in fiction, stokes rage and the reader responds with hostility at the thought of a woman, his woman, cuckolding him, and worse, having the time of her life doing it.

This primeval sense of betrayal provokes readers to lash out at those who indulge in creating this forbidden act of sharing their wife. To read of another man promoting what one most fears and loathes, the thought of his wife literally being invaded, her willingly accepting and pleasuring a stranger, taking his seed in her womb, shaking and orgasming on his cock, violates every aspect of his life, robs him of his very identity as a man, leaving him alone and ashamed. Is it any wonder then such readers comment on cuckolding stories with such exclamations of rage and vitriol?

From the cuckold's perspective the only escape is to either leave or embrace the situation. In some stories the wronged husband does just that, often after taking his revenge in divorce court, or with another, better woman reclaiming his sense of classic masculinity. The lover may be humiliated as well, losing his own wife, job, or otherwise being conquered, and these stories end with the husband vanishing into the sunset, riding off with his new woman. Such tales rarely provoke the rage of robbed men however.

It is the second option that infuriates many, the idea of the husband willingly aiding his wife and her lover, sometimes right down to humiliating himself, kneeling before the bull, admiring his wife's lover's cock, perhaps even touching it and inserting it her her pussy. Here the latent fear of homosexuality rears its head, and one will often see such conjectures in comments, that such a man is not only a real man, but a faggot who himself lusts after the bigger cock of his rival. No doubt there are some whose passions run to bisexuality and submission and whose motives are indeed to worship, fondle, and please the more endowed and superior male but one suspects such are but a subset of willing cuckolds.

It's more about the wife, the idea of a formerly controlled wife now letting her desires run wild. Many men fear unbridled female sexual desire and seek to confine it to the marriage, but the cuckold breaks these ties, letting his wife take her pleasure where she pleases in front of him. She has complete freedom and control over her husband, a reversal of the traditional dynamic many men need to validate their self. This too angers many men, the idea of a hot wife who is free to fuck while they wait at home.

Racism is a common element here as well, with various groups playing the roles of the conquered and the dominating. In Indian stories whites often re-enact the conquest of India by the British, invading Desi wives and forcing them to submit, spraying the supine bodies and wombs of these exotic women with their more powerful semen. In American versions it is black men who use their much larger cocks to conquer innocent white women, and Asian women inevitably prefer the bigger cocks of foreign men. Thus a background of history and social prejudices is used to spice up an otherwise mundane tale of a cheating housewife.

In yet other tales it is a mixture of such biases, with the bull being the wife's boss, her source of income and literally in control of her actions. In all it is a sense that some men are by their very nature superior and more fortunate and willing to exploit their power to pleasure themselves at the cuckold's cost. Again, in some stories the cuckold will seek and achieve revenge, reversing the roles, reclaiming his power and sense of self as a man.

In others the man is content to serve his wife and her bull, and willing to abase himself before them, licking her pussy to get it wet in anticipation of her lover using his wife, perhaps guiding his cock into her lips, while impotently stroking his own smaller rod. The husband may clean up afterwards, licking his rival's cum from her pussy, perhaps in a vain effort to avoid her impregnation, another classic fear.

In such stories the comments will glow with the rage of men who fear such fates, whose own phobias range from a lack of classic musculature, having a small penis, or who have experienced unfaithful lovers and fear a repeat of such emotional agony.

So why, given such analysis, would men willingly aid their wives in becoming cuckolds, picking out their lovers from online sites, or setting their wife up at a bar with a short dress and no panties, or watching as opportunistic men strip and fuck their drunken wife at a company party, all stereotypical backgrounds to cuckolding stories?

There is an element of regaining their place, even in a reduced role, as a co-conspirator in the wife's infidelity, a chance to enjoy the role of a voyeur, jerking on their cocks as the bull dominates and pleases their wife, serving a more powerful man by offering their wife to him.

Some folks enjoy being submissive, some enjoy the pleasure of jerking off knowing their wife is being satisfied without any effort of their own at stake. Such men can pursue their own pleasure without fear of coming too soon and then enduring the scorn of their unsatisfied spouse.

Another common motive is to spice up a dulled sex life. When you've fucked your wife for years, tried every position you cared to experiment with, cum in her again and again, it can get old. Since you have to live with your wife and life has stresses and boredom outside of the bedroom to deal with you learn to compromise with each other, to obey wishes and heed wants and avoid her turn offs. Perhaps she no longer swallows your cum, perhaps she never did. Maybe her ass is off limits or she doesn't deepthroat worth a damn, maybe she'll only fuck in certain positions. Relationships tend to get into ruts and it can be difficult to reinvent sex with a familar partner after awhile. In such situations a bull can introduce a missing vitality, spur your wife to trying new acts, remind her of her own sensuality, and force her to engage and experiment in ways your own patterns have made difficult.

Faced with a new partner previous limits dissolve and the frigid mother of your children once again becomes a wanton slut, letting the new man pull her hair, fuck her face, take his cock deep in her ass. This can reset expectations for you as well. The same woman who refused to suck your cock may endure you jamming your rod down her throat if she has a new cock plundering her pussy at the same time. Together her bull and you can use her in ways you could never achieve on your own, fucking her ass and pussy together, spit-roasting her, pushing her to her knees and making her swallow your cocks, dominating her in ways she would never permit if it were you alone.

Then there is the next day and weeks to come after her bull has left for his own home. The flared head of the penis, scientists say, is designed in part to scoop out an earlier man's cum, and many a husband with a hot wife knows sloppy seconds can be quite passionate. The next time in bed may begin with you reminding her of what an amazing slut she can be, how hot it is watching another man's cock disappear between her lips, or how loudly she moaned as he fucked her pussy or ass. Indeed she may well initiate the conversation, stroking your cock as she asks how you felt seeing her lover fuck her, recounting how he stretched her pussy, or how much he came, or made her cum. As such dirty talk loses its power over time, she knows she'll soon get your permission to indulge her own passions again. This gives her an incentive to please you, knowing you'll give her what she wants, be it a much larger cock, more stamina, or whatever itch it is another man can scratch.

In short there are both reasons men fear and loathe cuckolding and reasons they may permit or even encourage it. As they say, different strokes for different folks. Let me know your own thoughts in the comment section.

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onecuriousreaderonecuriousreader3 months ago

one part that i noticed missing from this piece, is the investment the womans partner, makes in her.. an investment that hardly ever is acknowledged, let alone considered ( the definition of disrespect ). in my view, a large source of said rage, is fueled from disrespect, even if its 3rd party sourced. and given, we all live in a world where the concept of respecting men, in the same context as respecting women, can be measured in the single digits.. as an exception for the hyper minority of men in power or privilege.. rather than a norm. cuckholding speaks to that disrespect, on a primal level, speaks to that experience of not being considered.. speaks to the flight or fight aspect.. because at its source.. just like rape, there is a denial of self agency, in cuckholding..

freethefreethe9 months ago

I found strong reactions to my only cuckolding story. This probably explains why.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

Why should cuckold have its own section? LW clearly states it’s for swinging etc. truth is, there are many here who hate wives. Their own took the to the cleaners in a divorce because they found a real man to funk them. So, they hate reading about beta men who share their wives. They hate themselves for being a beta, so they take it out on others.

Look inside yourself at where your anger comes from you fucktards lol it’s only erotica. Ffs lol

inka2222inka222210 months ago

And, just to give a rather cringy example, the usual defense of cuck shit ("hey, the guy is getting aroused by it so it's a good thing"), is easily debunked by remembering that non-consensual fantasies arouse a vast amount of women - which in no way shape or form makes anyone sane claim that "rape is OK and should be normalized".

inka2222inka222210 months ago

Reading this feels like MPD. Like one person wrote the intelligent and reasonable explanation of why cuckolding is viewed in such starkly negative terms. And then a wholly different person decided to say in the same post "nyah, that whole thing was just an acid trip and we'll just ignore it and defend cuckolding like there's anything even remotely redeeming about it". Yes, there are people who are mentally unwell, and are into all sorts of bad things (cuckolding, being eaten as food, being killed - the list of weird extreme kinks is long and unfortunate). Existence of such people, does not normalize what they are into nor make it somehow redeemable, ethical, moral or in any way good.

EdgeOfSundownEdgeOfSundownover 1 year ago

Well this was totally amusing, to have beta bitches who have no self respect lecture us on to behave. This simp manifesto is so filled with inaccuracies.

There are two points to make that are beyond reproach. In a man's mindset, respect is at the top of the list of his being. Lose that (intentionally or not) and you're not much of a man. Hence betrayal and disrespect are two things a real man can't abide by.

For women, in the aspect of a relationship. Safety is a top priority, she needs to feel safe (or as it's been referred to; positive containment) If a women has this, it goes a long way to being fulfilled.

I should mention also the writer of this has shown himself to be quite the hypocrite. While saying he doesn't practice cucking, he likes to write about it. It's obviously a rabbit hole he's more than willing to go down. So the self debasement isn't too far from reality.

So let's debunk his (and others like the self loathing SimonDoom) facade of what he really wants to be, a cream pie connoisseur.

As I stated, women crave safety in a relationship. The positive containment that a man must provide. Allowing her to be a hot wife, vixen, whatever.. removes that positive containment. Another man is providing it, not you. Henceforth, she's knowingly disrespecting you. Especially if you're encouraging it. And it's also a fact that you can't love someone you don't respect. She also realizes that you allowing her to disrespect you increases her disgust of you. She may not say it, but inside it's there.

Now Betaboy somehow equates letting a wife/girlfriend fuck other guys as sexual freedom. This is bullshit propaganda to justify cucks need to be marginalized. It's a fact that sex is a activity for both to get their rocks off, love making requires other elements, but the point here is if she needs another man to rekindle lust, or she'll do things with another man she won't do for you. Then you're irrelevant.

Sorry if these facts hurt you simps, and to be honest, I subscribe to the fact what two consenting people do is up to them. But choosing to be openly disrespected and not doing anything about it, you better expect ridicule from proper men.

Feel free to further debate me, but I doubt you cuck apologists have the stones to do so....

snakyeye1snakyeye1over 1 year ago

Good analysis overall. In my case and I am sure in many other men's cases, we found out our girlfriend's or wives had cheated on us and when we either saw it happening or heard about the infidelities from them, you are angry, heart broker, humiliated, confused, etc., and then out of nowhere you start getting aroused and you think to yourself, what the fuck is happening to me? when I hear about my ex girlfriend cheating on me, I got hornier than if the whole Dallas Cheerleaders squad was naked infant of me. I couldn't tell what was happening inside my head or my body. I wanted to beat the shit out of her fro cheating on me yet at the same time something strange happened and the thought of her being fucked and being so desirable for other men, it turned me on. Needless to say she picked up on it and as she was telling me the details of her affairs whispering in my ears, she was jerking me off and I couldn't get enough of it. She cucked me several times and the sex part always turned me on, what I despised was the actual betrayal. I even asked her to do it infant of me but she wouldn't, for her, the act of the betrayal and the forbidden was the exciting part. I do not judge any guy who has found out the hard way his wive is being hosed by someone else and he found it sexy, they all got hurt also from the betrayal part but there is something in there that I cannot explain what it is that makes your wife even more desirable for you as well after someone else has fucked her. Some guys get all pissed and insult people and all, but as you say first they jerk off to the story (I am sure that they are thinking about their wife fucking someone else too) and later they lash out based on their own judgmental thinking or because it has not yet happened to them, yet every man I have known who wife has cheated on him... they all got pissed, angry, got divorced etc... but at the same time when they are honest to themselves, they got turned on by knowing or seeing their wives were getting fucked by other men.

Call it sperm competition or whatever, there is not a simple way to explain what happens inside a mans head. I would have never imagined that if my girlfriend or wife cheated that it was going to turn me on, not in my wildest dreams yet when it happened to me... I just couldn't control it. It is like liking a smell for example, your nose just likes it and accepts it, this is different as your brain tries to think of a million excuses why you shouldn't be turned on by it, but somehow you just do.

alvinjfrazieralvinjfrazieralmost 2 years ago

*** Please read my previous first. ***

Another aspect to these cuck stories is deception. The husband is purposefully kept unaware, so that he doesn't even know to seek another partner. Or, the wife actively prevents her husband from seeking other partners. SHE CAN STEP OUTSIDE OF THE MARRIAGE AT WILL; BUT HE IS NOT ALLOWED. Why would any man be offended? There is also the real possibility of having to pay for someone elses child for 18 to 22 years. Why would any man that can count his own paycheck be enraged? The real possibility that the man pays alimony, and upkeep on a home he has no rights in; while another man moves in on his dollar. Why would this concern most men? Humiliation and disrespect? Who doesn't enjoy that?

AGAIN: WHY IS THIS PALTRY ANALYSIS FOUND UNDER THE TAG BTB? IT'S NOT A BTB STORY. IT'S NOT EVEN FICTION.

alvinjfrazieralvinjfrazieralmost 2 years ago

2 stars! This is a well-thought-out analysis. Why doesn't it explore the cuckquean aspect as well? (Where the woman has to deal with the husband taking other lovers in front of her.) She cleans vaginal and anal juices from her husband's penis. Perhaps she has to suck his sperm from a prostitute's pussy. She may even have to care for his newly pregnant partner. I'm sure this would also stir the husband's flagging libido, enrich their sex lives, and teach hubby new tricks to bring to the marital bed. Racial fears could still play their part from the wife's angle. AND EVERY FEMINIST WOULD CALL FOR THE CASTRATION OF THE AUTHORS! THIS SITE MIGHT BE SHUT DOWN! But, more to the point, why has this shown up under the tag of BTB? It's not fiction. It's not a BTB story. Just saying.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

I’ve been to Swinger Clubs. I’ve seen men watch their wife’s get kissed and played with in front of them. While they stand right next to their wife. Some people are just into this.

Who cares what others like or think?

Your not going home with them. Your not paying their bills.

I’m not lumping ALL swingers into this category. Not even close.

But there is a small percentage, a very, very, small percentage that are in to this.

For some, they allow it because-of medical reasons. Not being able to perform.

It was weird the first time I watched a guy basically dominate this lady in her late Forties. Right in front of her husband, who I guess as in his Mid-fifties. It’s their boat. Let them sail it.

Gotta love the critics here.

I simply laugh at all them. And a lot of fake assumptions that are made.

Because at the end of the day I know I had more REAL fun then they ever will.

My English and grammar might not be spot on.

Honestly, who cares?

( I know the reader does).

Most of us are here for fun, stress relief, and a break from the real world's pressures.

Good job to the author for tackling, what is for some, a touchy issue.

Chill out and enjoy life.

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