All Comments on 'Once Dead Twice Bound Ch. 01'

Amazing intro please write more glad your back to writing reading your stories gas been missed glad its back keep up the great work

You simply have to write more, loved what you have written so far..

I really loved it . Can't wait for part 2

Brilliant, please hurry with the next chapter.

I rarely give stories 5 stars even when they're okay/good (Usually I give 4 stars) but this story has so much potential plus it's just filled with oddly specific things that I like

p.s. keep up the amazing work :)

Loving the plot and all the girls and guy involved. Just one little thing of make sure with bouncing between all these characters viewpoints you double check you’re keeping all perspectives and such correct. For example at the very end with Tara and Opal it gets a little confusing with whose doing what (Opal section but Tara is putting the spear back?)

The use of language is such that you woukd do well writing poetry. Got too flowery for my simple taste.

Great start. I really enjoyed the story.

Could maybe use a bit more editing. There were simple grammar type mistakes and things like duplicated or missing words, but there were also some bigger errors like she kicked off her underwear, but then a few paragraphs later and shes on his lap and having to take her underwear off again.

I look forward to more!

Loved the story, it's great. Can't wait to see what happens next. Although I must say forced changes is my absolute favorite story on this site!

Looking forward to the next chapter

This was a fun start look forward to reading more.

Although to be totally honest by the end I was missing the simplicity of just "a guy and his fox mate" and actually would have just loved to read something that was focused solely around their relationship without these orcs and liches and shit getting involved. However, that's just me. I LOVE romance. I still love this though, and I can't wait to read more.

Btw, my name is Jack. So yeah. I like this character.

Seriously? Five pages of Tara trying to convince him their soul mates and come page six he's fucking someone else?

Honestly, the story is in such need of editing that there was reason to drop it before page six, but I stuck with it, thinking surely that the guy who was tearfully begging Tara not to hurt him wouldn't be fucking someone behind her back less than 24 hours later. I don't have anything against harem stories(they seem to be part and parcel of the monster girl genre after all), but if I've invested that much time into two characters, I expect some return on that investment. Rather than say, sex with a caged/crazed woman.

If you continue, you have got to get an editor. There are typos almost every other sentence and at a couple points you just randomly switched to third person perspective(and no, I don't mean the parts from Opal's POV).

Sent to you on feedback

Dan

2nd story I have read of yours so far hope to see more of this as well.

Just posted the next part on my patreon

https://www.patreon.com/capn_doggy

Will the second part of this story ever be post on this web site?

I've already posted it. Just waiting on approval.

As I said in the title keep going the story is getting better and better. I like the nobs you gave to Firefly and Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files" series. Looking forward to Chapter 3

This is a very well written story love it thus far.

Reading this story. 6 stars

Awesome story, I do hope you come back to it eventually.

I'm wondering if this shares a setting with some of your other stories, with the "modern/veiled" world?

I really enjoyed this story. I would like to see it continue and see if the mage side comes out again. I really did love this read.

Fantastic story. The perspectives, especially towards the end, where a bit messed up here and there. Even with that it's a great story.

Yes! Please continue!

Nicest terms I can use. Complete wuss. Hug and a nibble but instead figuring it out he throws off and runs. She say Found You but not one second of who are you or what do you mean. It’s to set up the story but just seems like too much for him to say wrong guy and flee. Maybe say he is extremely shy and sees beautiful goddess, in his fear of embarrassment he flees. Oh well. Maybe I’m crazy. I’ll find something else.

Holy crap, Firefly AND The Dresden Files in the same story? Shiny! Well written, intriguing and well thought out with some decent character development too. I'm to used to finding that much on a few short pages on this site and definitely appreciate it when I do.