All Comments on 'Once You Start Ch. 01'

this story should be in the interracial section. good story.

This is not a bad incest story. But there are so many grammatical errors that the focus of your story gets blurred. Please get an editor before you submit more.

Why not take the plunge and write about real incest and NOT incest light?

Or try another genre may be?

I like the premise of what you have here, and I am especially fond of the fact that Nikki isn't a fraking 'Barbie'. I personally like a woman that has some cushion on her. My issues here are...

1.) Editing: this shouldn't have the amount of grammar mistakes that are present. And don't be afraid to use contractions...to many writers here, make this mistake!!!

2.) Length: this should easily be twice as long as it is. Stretch it out!

3.) More details: leaving some things to the readers imagination is a good thing, however the lack of fine details here is a bit of a turn off for me.

What you have going here is good, but with a little fine tuning, it could be great!!

Your fictional story is loaded with grammatical errors. What you have going for you is a dirty mind and an imagination. If ONLY you had an EDUCATION... but you were too damned smart to be bothered with that annoying b.s. Right?

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As for my real life sister, I took her virginity just after she turned eleven and I was thirteen. I had a large dick for a thirteen yr. old (7 1/2'') so I had to push really hard to get it all the way into her tight little pussy and then fuck the first load of cum into her. She was yelling and crying and trying to get away, which distracted me a lot, so that made it last for several minutes before I shot my load into her. Her pussy was still really tight so my cock stayed inside of her until it got hard again and then I started fucking her some more. I fucked her and came inside of her three times, the first day. I got her to admit that it didn't hurt too much, the last time I fucked her, and convinced her to keep quiet about me fucking her. I threw my bedsheets away. There were blood spots all over them. (didn't know about using cold water, etc.)

The next day I fucked her once and, the day after that, I fucked her three more times. While I was fucking her the second of the three times, she said it felt really good and asked me if I was going to do it to her the next day and the day after. I told her that I was going to fuck her every day, from now on. She pushed her pussy up to me, real hard, when I said that. Two days later, she had her first orgasm while I was fucking her and then had another one while I was cumming in her.

We've been lovers for over fourteen years. She got pregnant when she was twelve and had a miscarriage. The school nurse knew who got her pregnant and put her on birth control pills.

We have decent jobs and live together in a one bedroom apt., now. Our parents don't like it but we told them that they're going to like their grandchildren because my sister has stopped taking b.c. pills.

Your story's alright, but it's too short and your grammar is TERRIBLE. You use singular verbs for plural nouns, and plural verbs for singular nouns. You change tenses faster than I can keep up; many times you switched in the same sentence!!!

When will chapter 2 come out?

Chapter 2 please