One Little Question

"These are the kind of cookies a guy would go down on you for," Phoebe said in her soft voice.

We all burst out laughing.

"Well, we all know what Rob's doing tonight," Nadia said.

"You know it." There was a tightness to Halle's smile and a fake brightness in her voice. "So, the key to making them that kind of melt-in-your-mouth is—"

"Uh-uh, nope," Candice interrupted. "What's wrong, Halle?"

Halle tried to look innocent, which failed given the whole "punk rock princess" part of her look. "What? Why would something be wrong?"

"Um, because Nadia just made a joke about oral sex and you got all tense about it," Trish said. "What's wrong?"

"Does Rob not go down?" Candice asked bluntly. "Do I gotta make Jay have a talk with him?"

"Oh my God," Halle said. "No, of course not. He does. He's not one of those losers who refuses to."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and sipped my mimosa.

"But?" Candice pressed. "Come on. You know you can say anything. This is a safe space."

"There's nothing to say," Halle replied. "Really."

"Do you not like it?" Trish asked.

"No, I... I do."

"Oh," Phoebe said.

We all looked at her, which she didn't seem to expect. Her cheeks flushed pink and she looked at Halle apologetically.

"He's just not very good at it, is he?" Phoebe asked.

Halle's entire face went red. "He's... he's... I mean, he..."

"Oh, no," Nadia said, trying not to laugh.

"... he tries," Halle said, her voice high-pitched.

Immediately, a look of regret spread across her face. There was a beat of silence, then we all burst out laughing again.

Well, except Halle.

"Don't tell him I said that," Halle begged, a look of devastation on her face as the rest of us tried to contain our giggles. "Please. He just doesn't seem to get what he needs to do, but he really likes doing it."

"You have to communicate with him," Trish argued. "You deserve to have good sex."

"I do have good sex," Halle said fiercely. "Have you seen my man?"

"I have always wondered how he doesn't crush your pelvis when you two fuck," Candice said.

Halle smacked her hands to her hips. "These child-bearing hips are good for a lot more than bringing rugrats into the world."

I started laughing so hard mimosa came out of my nose and Nadia hurriedly passed me a napkin as the rest of the room cracked up.

"Look, it's not a big deal," Halle said when we'd calmed down again. "This is just like... like one thing that isn't great. Trust me, the rest of our sex life is just..." She bit her lip, then shook her head. "He loves doing it anyway, so it's more for him than it is for me, and that's fine."

"Why would it be for him?" Phoebe asked.

We all chuckled again, but Phoebe didn't seem to be joking that time. She glanced down at her drink uncertainly.

"Wait, are you saying Miguel doesn't enjoy it?" Halle asked.

"Who's Miguel?" I asked.

"Phoebe's boyfriend," Trish said. "He's a bartender at Whisky Sours."

Phoebe shrugged. "I don't know if he likes it. But I... I don't, really."

"What?!" at least three people said in shock.

"Why not?" Candice asked, bewildered.

Phoebe's face turned fully red. "I just don't. And Miguel doesn't press for it, so it's just... like, some guys just don't enjoy it, probably?"

"Every guy I've ever been with has loved going down on me," Halle said. "I swear, they're more into it than I am half the time."

"Jay gets off on eating pussy," Candice said, which was when I nearly broke my champagne flute.

"Well, Jay is weird," Phoebe said.

"No, he's not!" Candice replied. "Halle just said Rob does, too."

"Anthony only does it because I like it," Trish said.

"Okay, first of all: ew," Candice said. "I do not want to hear that about my brother. Second of all, what?! He doesn't like doing it?"

"If I didn't ask for it, he wouldn't do it." Trish shrugged. "But he does it. I don't think I'd ever have dated a guy who wouldn't go down on me."

Nadia shook her head. "I'm on Phoebe's side. I don't like it."

"But does Scott still want to do it?" Trish asked.

Nadia shrugged. "Sometimes. But he knows it's not going to get me off."

"Okay, so Rob and Jay are into it," Candice said. "Scott too, probably. Miguel is a question mark and—" she shuddered "—my brother is neutral. So the real question is, do guys go down on women because women like it? Or is even this all about the man's pleasure?"

"What about Seth?" Halle said, looking at me.

My heart thudded in my chest. "What about him?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Have you been listening to the conversation? Does Seth go down on you because you like it or because he likes it?"

It would have been so easy to just say I didn't like it. But I could feel everyone's eyes on me and I panicked. My mouth felt dry, but my mimosa was empty and more alcohol probably wouldn't have helped anyway. Instead, I cleared my throat and tried not to make eye contact with anyone.

"Um, no," I said.

There was silence in the room.

"No as in... as in he doesn't like it?" Trish said.

"Or no as in he doesn't do it?" Halle asked.

I opened my mouth, then closed it for a moment before speaking. "Some guys just don't like to do that and that's—"

"No way!" Candice shouted, making me jump. "Oh my God, Laura, are you saying Seth doesn't go down on you at all?!"

"If she doesn't like it, that's not a big deal," Phoebe said quietly.

"But then she would have said that," Candice said. "Seriously, Laura. Is Seth the kind of guy that insists on blowjobs but won't go down on a woman?"

"He is not," I said indignantly. "He just doesn't like to do that and I don't... it's not that big a deal to me."

And that was the truth.

Sort of.

I mean, I did kind of wish he'd do it, but it was one of those things that Seth really didn't like. And it wasn't like he demanded blowjobs. I mean, I did give them to him, but a big part of it was because I liked doing that. If I didn't want to do it, he would've respected that. Just like I respected him not wanting to go down on me. I didn't know why he didn't want to do it, and that was okay.

Our sex life was perfectly fine without that.

Mostly.

"I didn't think he seemed like that type of guy," Halle said.

"What type of guy?" I asked.

"You know," Trish said, looking apologetic. "Like, too good to go down on someone. It's just... I don't know. Kind of selfish, I guess."

"He is not selfish!" I said. "It's not that big a deal."

"How is it not a big deal?" Candice asked, bewildered. "I mean, I just don't get it. I love it when Jay goes down on me."

I shrugged helplessly. "It just... it just isn't. Please don't... don't bother him about it. He'd be embarrassed if he knew I said anything and he really isn't... I mean, you're judging him for no reason. Please don't."

Candice looked like she was about to argue, but something on my face must have stopped her. Instead, she stood up and grabbed my mimosa glass, bringing it to the island in the kitchen and busying herself refilling my glass, as well as hers.

"Well, either way, this has settled fuck all," she said as she poured orange juice into the glasses. "We aren't any closer to figuring out whether guys go down for their pleasure or their woman's pleasure."

"I think it's probably a mix of both," Nadia said.

"But I mean, do you go down on a guy for your pleasure or his?" Trish asked. "Because like, I don't know many women who are all 'oh, I totally get off on giving head,' but—"

"I totally get off on giving head," Candice said, and the room dissolved into laughter again. But I was thankful she said it, partly so I didn't have to say it and partly because I was kind of relieved I wasn't weird for enjoying it.

And also a bit so that I didn't have to get more into the things that I enjoyed with these women I barely knew. Like how I secretly loved using my breasts to get guys off. Because yeah, I didn't love all the attention they got me all of the time, but I did kind of love how mesmerized Seth got by them. I loved having them touched and squeezed and the way he'd get distracted when they bounced or swung when we were having sex.

My theory was that I was so used to my chest causing me trouble in real life—like being judged or shamed simply because they were there—that it was kind of nice for them to be appreciated, you know? But I didn't really want to get into that with everyone in the room.

"Okay, but like, in general," Trish said when we'd calmed down again. "Most guys are totally into getting blowjobs. I'd wager that it's not as common for women to do it solely because they like it. So how common is it for a guy to do it because he enjoys it versus doing it because he... you know. Like..."

"Tolerates it?" Halle finished, and Trish nodded.

Candice returned to the table, her eyes sparkling as she passed me a mimosa before taking her seat.

"Only one way to find out," she said.

"What's that?" Phoebe asked.

Candice took a sip of her drink, then pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"Simple. Let's ask the men."

"I get off on going down on women," Kendra said.

"You, Kendra McKendraington?" Adrian said, feigning shock. "Preposterous! Does your wife know about this?"

She punched him in the arm. "Let me guess. You're too good to get your tongue all up in there with all your fuckin' one-night stands."

He snorted. "Are you kidding? I fucking love it. Just because she's a one-night stand doesn't mean I don't go out of my way to get her off. I'm not a douchebag."

"Guess you have to have something going for you, short stuff," Jay said.

Adrian flipped him off. "I pull way more pussy than any of you."

"Your Fleshlight doesn't count," Benny said.

Adrian flipped him off too, but he was laughing.

"Okay, but are you going down on her for her?" I asked. "Or are you doing it for you?"

"Yes," Adrian replied.

"For her," Benny said.

I was almost pleased to see that multiple people turned to Benny with indignation on their face.

"Seriously, man?" asked Jay, his thick eyebrows furrowing. "You're not into it?"

Benny shrugged, not at all embarrassed as he ran a hand through his thick ginger hair. "I don't hate it, but it doesn't do much for me. I like that she likes it."

"Well, at least you're still doing it," Adrian said.

"Probably be divorced if I wasn't," Benny said. "She asks me to do it, I do it. And I guess I do alright at it because she keeps asking for it, so I'm not gonna complain. Me eating her pussy means I'm about to get laid."

"How did this even come up?" Seth interrupted, his face uncharacteristically serious.

"You put a group of women in a room with hundreds of Christmas cookies and a ton of mimosas, and you're wondering why they're talking about sex?" Kendra asked. "Jeez, Seth. Are you a virgin or something?"

He glared at Kendra, but didn't say anything.

"Apparently Halle made 'the kind of cookies a guy would go down on you for,'" Jay said, reading off his phone before glancing up at me. "You need cookies to go down on her?"

"Oh, fuck off," I said, though I was laughing along with everyone. "The cookies are a bonus. Halle gets eaten out whenever I want it. Which is always. She doesn't even have to ask for it."

"Good man," Kendra said.

"Okay, so that's three votes for 'guys enjoy eating pussy,'" Jay said.

"But Benny said he doesn't," Seth said.

Jay fixed an unimpressed stare on the younger man.

"What?" Seth said.

"Rob, Adrian, and me," Jay replied, and Seth's face went even redder than it had been as he ran a hand through his short, blond hair.

"I didn't say I didn't enjoy it," Benny said loudly. "Just that I do it for her, not for me."

"Do I seriously not get a vote?" Kendra asked.

"Fine," Jay said, rubbing a hand along his greying beard. "Four votes for getting off on eating pussy, two for doing it because she asks for it. I'll let Candice know."

"Don't say who's who," Adrian said. "Nadia's over there and this is not something I need my sister knowing about me."

"Wait, Seth didn't actually vote," Benny said.

I snorted. "If he got off on it, he would've said it right away. Right, new boy?"

"I... yeah," Seth said, but his voice was uncertain.

The crew went quiet. Benny and I exchanged a look, then Benny glanced at Jay, who raised his eyebrows at Seth.

"Oh my God," Adrian said slowly. "You don't go down on Laura, do you?"

"That's none of your fucking business," Seth said, pulling his work gloves on and refusing to look at anyone.

"Seriously?" Kendra said, her eyes round.

"Dude, what the hell?" Adrian said.

"What do you do when she asks for it?" Benny said.

"Is the coffee break over yet?" Seth asked pointedly.

"Nope," Jay said, sipping his coffee and leaning casually against one of the studs. "So why don't you eat your girlfriend's pussy, Seth?"

Seth glared at him. "She doesn't ask for it."

"I mean, do you ask her for blowjobs?" I asked.

"What? No," he said.

"But do you get blowjobs?"

His jaw twitched, but he didn't respond.

"Her not asking doesn't mean she doesn't want it," I said. "Halle doesn't ask for it much either."

Seth glared at me. "So how do you know she even wants it, then?"

"I feel like we've touched a little nervey-nerve," Kendra said in a mocking, high-pitched tone. "Are you sure Laura doesn't want it, Seth?"

He threw his hands up, his frustration finally snapping. "I don't like it, okay? I don't like going down on her."

"On her, or in general?" Jay asked, his voice almost sympathetic.

Seth couldn't meet anyone's eyes. "Anyone. I don't like it. And it's never been an issue. Laura doesn't ask me to do it. So I don't know why I'm listening to you assholes make fun of me for it."

"Because we care about you, buddy." Adrian went over to Seth and threw an arm around his shoulders. "And last I heard, little bitches who don't eat their woman's cookie don't get Christmas presents."

"Fuck you," Seth said, shoving his arm away.

"No thanks, but Laura might when she finds out I'm more than willing to lick her—"

"Out of line," I said, my voice cold. "That's fucked up, Adrian."

Adrian opened his mouth to respond, but when he saw the look on my face, raised his hands and turned back to Seth. There was a difference between the usual trash talk we all did and what he'd just said, namely that Seth was clearly pissed off about the whole situation. I mean, he looked like he was about to jump on the shorter man and beat the shit out of him.

Which Adrian would have absolutely deserved. I mean, I could tolerate people talking about how hot Halle was because frankly, she fucking was. But if someone sat there and said they were gonna fuck my girlfriend because I wasn't doing it right, I'd... well.

I'd probably lose it.

"Sorry, Seth," Adrian said, and it sounded like he genuinely meant it. "I just mean, like, you're missing out, buddy. There is nothing—and I mean nothing—like having a woman writhing underneath you as you just bury your face against her."

"Or sitting on your face," Jay added, likely to help direct the conversation back to a point that didn't have a high risk of manslaughter.

Kendra made a soft mmm sound. "Yeah, like when she grinds against your tongue and basically rides your mouth?"

"Exactly," Jay said. "The only reason Candice doesn't beg for it is because I like it as much as she does, but she'll still ask for it whenever she wants it."

"And you only have to do it good once before they ask you for it again and again," Adrian said. "Even the one-nighters. And trust me, man. The scent and the taste and the fucking sounds she makes. And how you can barely hear them because her legs just—" He smacked a fist into the open palm of his other hand "—just clamp around your head. And when she's coming and grabbing at your hair like she's trying to pop your head right off your neck?" He made a chef's-kiss gesture. "Fucking glorious."

"Rob wouldn't know about the hair thing," Benny said.

Normally, I'd have some snappy response about being sexier bald than he was with hair—which was true—but I was a bit preoccupied listening to them talk.

Because something had got me thinking, and the hair thing wasn't the only part I didn't really know about.

Halle and I had been together for five years. I was gonna marry her one day. The only reason I hadn't put a ring on it was because she said she wanted us to buy a house first. But I already knew how I was going to propose: it was gonna be the very day we moved into that house, before we'd brought in any of the boxes or furniture or anything. She was my forever, plain and simple, and I knew I was hers.

I loved everything about her: Her tattoos and piercings. Her Rapunzel-like blonde hair. Her laugh. Her beautiful blue eyes. Her heart and how she cared about everyone she came across. The way she could get down and dirty just as easily as she could act prim and proper. And the way she'd just submit to me, let me take control of her body and her pleasure, beg me to wrap my hand around her throat and—

I had to stop that line of thought. I was still at fucking work.

The point was that Halle was the most amazing woman in the world. And of course I thought she was the hottest one, too. I made sure to show her that every time we fucked. Our sex life was good and she always got off, but...

But maybe she didn't like it when I went down on her.

I knew she liked getting oral. She'd told me that at some point, way back when we first started dating. But all that stuff that Adrian and Kendra and Jay were saying...

Halle never sat on my face.

She never... what did Adrian say... writhed.

Or clamped her legs around my head.

I mean, frankly, she... she never came when I ate her out.

And that hadn't worried me. She'd said she had a hard time getting off like that, which was fair. She always got off when we fucked, even if I'd already finished and had to do it with my hands. I wanted to please her because her pleasure was my pleasure. I loved knowing I could make her explode and tremble and clutch at me as the walls of her pussy clenched around my cock or my fingers.

But she never reacted like that when I went down on her.

Actually, I mused as the rest of them kept talking, it wasn't just that. Not only did she not ask me to go down on her or come on my tongue or ride my face, she was usually the one who stopped me. She'd gently urge me away from her pussy, pulling me up to kiss her and plead with me to fuck her. I always thought it was because she was so turned on she couldn't wait any longer, but...

I mean, all the other guys were saying their girls asked for it. And what Adrian had said... when it was good, they'd ask for it again, and...

Oh, fuck.

I was a fucking idiot.

"Earth to Rob?" Adrian said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I know it's hot to think about fucking Halle, but you can't go getting all turned on at work," Kendra teased.

I tried to laugh, but nothing came out. And when I didn't tell Kendra to fuck off for talking about Halle like that, Jay frowned at me.

"What's wrong, man?" he asked.

"I think I might be shit at eating pussy," I said.

"Do you think I scared Laura off?" I asked.

"I mean, I've never seen someone leave a cookie exchange looking so pale," Trish said as we stepped around a slow-walking grandma.

"She's pale to begin with, though."

"No, she's not," Phoebe piped in quietly from the other side of Trish.

"Well, she's not as pale as you," I conceded. "But she was fine, right? It was just one little question about pussy eating."