One More Year Ch. 03

"Thanks," I said, as we made our way towards the beach.

The promenade that led along the beach alternated between glaringly brightly lit places — from the closed store-fronts and the street-lights — and very dark patches, from shadows cast by various objects along its side — mostly sculptures and potted plants set up to beautify the place for tourists.

"Hey Jay," Eric said as we entered a dark patch, and stopped. I stopped too, and turned around to face him. He stepped closer to me. "Can I ask you a question?"

We were standing in the shadow of a pretty large sculpture, and I could vaguely see the contours of his face, but I couldn't quite make out his expression. I was fairly sure he was acting strangely — but like I said, I don't get out much, so I'm no expert.

"Um, okay. What is it?"

He stepped one step closer — closer than you'd need to be to ask a question, definitely — and in one heartbeat, his hand was on the side of my neck, touching the exposed skin there. In another, his lips were on my lips, his light stubble was grazing my face, and it felt like electricity was exploding through my body. After what could have been an eternity or a nanosecond, our lips pulled apart. It was too soon, whichever one it was. He took his hand off my neck, and stepped back, and I was immediately filled with a sense of frustration.

"Was..." he cleared his throat. "Was that okay?"

I was momentarily speechless. My mind was still reeling, not quite believing what had happened. I was still kind of sitting on that first tier of drunk, wobbly on my feet, feeling fuzzy and warm and philosophical. But suddenly I was also coursing with adrenaline. There were so many sensations rushing through me that the vague anxiety and nervousness I was feeling most of that night — and most of any other time I'm around new people — was just completely gone, washed away. So I resorted to an old standby, because I literally had no other idea how to respond. I made a joke.

"What, like a rating out of five stars?"

He laughed, and it was such a wonderful sound, so pure, so relieved, that I stepped forward and grabbed him by the shoulder. It was probably a bit more forcefully than he'd grabbed me, but I didn't care. I just pulled him closer, and pushed my lips up against his. His mouth opened, and our tongues brushed, and it was exploratory, playful, and urgent. I felt like I couldn't breathe, or that I was breathing too much, or that I was literally made of something explosive and what we were doing was dangerous. Incendiary.

But I didn't stop it from happening. I couldn't. I wouldn't have known how. He pushed me up against the sculpture, and I groaned. It's like everything I'd ever imagined, and nothing I could have possibly dreamed up, and I almost resented him for it when he pulled away again. It was like pulling someone to the top of a cliff and then just dropping them off the edge.

"We uh..." His breathing was heavy, and he inhaled deeply, as if to steady himself. I probably would have fallen myself, if I wasn't propped up against a big stone sculpture. "We should get down there. Everyone's going to be wondering where we are."

"O-okay." Fuck. He was right. There were all his friends. There was Ellie. And there was Sara, who I barely knew, but she could definitely tell everyone at school and make my last year absolutely miserable. The possibilities started to overwhelm me, but then he grabbed my hand, and it was suddenly a little difficult to think about anything else.

He led me down the path, the two of us flitting from shadow to brightness and back to shadow. As we approached the steps down to the beach, he slowly let go of my hand. There was an implicit understanding in that. I felt like a secret agent, knowing that the thought was ridiculous and melodramatic, and loving it anyway. Because I was still close enough to smell him, and the taste of his mouth was still lingering on my lips. It seemed insane that we kissed, but I knew it happened.

I stumbled along in his wake after that — we were wearing jeans and closed shoes in the sand, and it was a little unpleasant to walk on the dunes. We got to the top of one and saw the rest of the group spread out loosely on the beach, so we went to join them. Ellie was sitting alone on a small dune, so I sat down next to her, and Eric sat next to me.

"So that's happening." She nodded at Sara and John, who had gone off to their own relatively secluded and shadowy, but still quite visible, spot. They were shamelessly making out.

"Go John." Eric smirks.

"I hope she doesn't want to go home with him." Ellie said, irritated. "She's supposed to stay at my place tonight. Her mother phoned my mother and everything. If she's not there tomorrow..."

"Don't worry about it." Eric said. "I can outmanoeuvre John. I'll make sure she has no choice but to behave."

"How?" Ellie asked pointedly.

"Just trust me. Relax." Eric laughed.

"Okay." Ellie shrugged, and wrapped her arms around her legs.

Vincent came stumbling through the sand to us.

"Hey, we're going in the water. You guys want to come?"

"Jay and I haven't eaten our ice creams yet." He held his up.

"Right," I said, looking down, shocked to see mine was still in my hand too. I'd basically been running on autopilot, and had completely forgotten it was even there.

"Well, I'm going." Ellie quickly started pulling off her shoes and rolling up her jeans.

"Awesome."

Vince waited for her to finish, and then held out a hand to help her up. They ran down the dune and then were met halfway to the water where they were joined by Louis and Melissa, and the four of them splashed out into the gentle waves.

Eric and I opened up our ice-creams and sat eating them in silence. I felt something on my left hand, which was behind me, propping me up. It almost made me flinch, but then I realised it was Eric's hand, and I broke out in an uncontrollable grin. I couldn't bring myself to look directly at him. It felt like it might break the spell, and he'd evaporate. John and Sara carried on, lost in their own little world. I could almost resent them — their presence here was the only thing keeping us from doing what they were doing — but, more than anything, I could empathise with how they felt.

The wind had dropped since that morning to a much gentler breeze, although there was a slight chill to what should have been a warm summer's day. Eric took his hand off of mine, and I felt a slight tingling, which at first I took for nothing, but it kept happening. I looked over, and he was grabbing small handfuls of sand, and letting them trickle down onto the top of my hand.

"What are you doing?" I laughed softly.

He made a non-committal noise and shrugged, but kept adding handfuls. My hand was starting to get well and truly buried.

"Cut it out." I shook the sand off and wiped my hand on my shirt.

He laughed, and took the opportunity to shift up closer to me. We were now pressed against each other, his leg against mine, his hand reached out behind me to prop himself up in the sand. I reverted to not looking directly at him. I was already feeling a bit restricted in my jeans, and his proximity was only making it worse.

In contrast to the cool sea air, I could feel his warm breath on my neck, and I turned to look at him. He was just staring directly at me, and he didn't look away when I faced him. I felt my breath catch in my throat. I could just make out the blueness of his eyes in the dim light, although they looked as dark as the ocean at that moment.

"What?" I said, once I'd regained the ability to speak.

"Nothing." he said softly. "Just taking in the scenery."

I smiled, and turned to face forward again, grateful that my blushing wouldn't be so obvious in the shadows. He shifted slightly, and I felt his fingertips lightly stroke my back, randomly tracing a pattern over my shirt, sending a tingling shock through my body every time he crossed my spine. I shifted in my jeans, to adjust myself — it had become necessary — and he gave a low, throaty chuckle at the motion.

We both gazed out at the others, wading around in the water, while we finished our ice-creams in a charged silence that had made me feel light-headed. We finished them, and not too long after that, everyone started to make their way out of the water.

"Here, give me your wrapper." Eric stood up, and held out his hand. "I'll throw it away."

"Uh, sure." I handed it over, enjoying the way our hands brushed as he took it from me and smiled.

He intercepted Vince on his way back from the bin, and the two started talking quietly. Ellie wandered up the dune and set herself down next to me. She began dusting sand off her feet and putting her shoes back on.

"That was so fun. They're all really great, aren't they?" she said.

"Yep." I replied quietly.

"The water is absolutely freezing. I'd hate to try this in winter."

"Mmm." She tilted her head towards me. "Are you okay?"

"What?" I sat up straighter, trying to think clearly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, maybe."

"It has been a long day." She sighed. "At least the weather got better."

"Yeah."

"Hey Ellie." Eric was approaching us. "We're getting Ubers home. Vince is going to distract John while we're walking back up, so you should probably swoop in and monopolise Sara's attention while they're busy."

"Ooh, a devious plot." Ellie rubbed her hands together. "I love it."

"I'll get their uber here first."

"Splendid."

"Do we even need an Uber?" I asked.

"I'm not walking back up that hill." Ellie flung her arm out dramatically. "I will literally die."

"Can't have that." Eric said, smiling at me.

"No." I agreed, grinning back like an idiot.

"Do you mind walking home from our street?" Ellie asked him. "We're on Cumbria Drive, and you're downhill from us."

"Yeah, no problem." Eric's eyes briefly flickered over to me, and he grinned.

The group slowly gathered, and we began to slog our way up the dunes to the promenade. On our way up, on the last stretch of sand, Vincent jumped on John's back.

"Get off of me, you idiot." John said, swatting at Vince and laughing.

They careened into the sand, and began wrestling. I noticed Ellie as she slid up casually next to Sara, and said something quietly to her. Sara shook her head, and put her hand on Ellie's shoulder. They went ahead of the group together, and back up the stairs onto the promenade.

"Morons." Melissa shook her head, smiling at Vince and John.

"Wow." I said quietly to Eric as we trudged our way up.

"I know, right?" he laughed quietly. "That worked better than I thought."

"Hey dumbasses," Melissa shouted down at John and Vince. "Our uber is here."

"Bye guys." Louis said to the four of us.

They climbed into the Uber, and Melissa started chatting amicably with the driver. Vincent and John came up the wooden steps that led from the beach, and Vince clapped John on the shoulder, sending a light dusting of sand out.

"Say goodbye to Sara." Vince said. John gave him an annoyed glare.

"I should go." John said, stepping up to her and wrapping his arms around her.

"No shit." Melissa shouted from the passenger window.

"I'll text you." He wrapped his arms around her in a quick hug.

"You better." Sara said, giving him a peck on the lips.

With that, he let go of her and climbed in the car. The door slammed, and the car drove off.

Sara sighed, and I felt like I could understand what she was feeling. I looked over at Eric. He looked up from his phone at me, and smiled. My stomach fluttered.

"Two minutes until ours gets here." He said.

There was some sort of suggestion in his words, but I was too tired, drunk or generally addled to figure out what. Ellie and Sara tittered excitedly in hushed voices a small distance away, while we leaned against a low stone wall at the edge of the side-walk.

I so badly wanted to grab him and kiss him again.

Eventually, the Uber rolled up. Sara climbed into the front seat, while Eric and Ellie strategically flanked me, and I ended up stuck in the middle of them. I was too distracted to try and fight for a better seat. But then the car went through a dark stretch of road, and Eric grabbed my hand again. I suddenly didn't mind the middle seat so much any more.

I felt like I was on fire. My skin was tingling, my face felt flushed and full of heat. The three of them chatted with the driver, but I had no idea about what. I was basically catatonic — the only sensation that existed in my mind was his thumb, rubbing slowly backwards and forwards along my palm. The car could have been going absolutely anywhere.

Eventually, mercifully, we rolled to a stop, and everyone got out. I snapped out of my stupor and saw that we were in front of Ellie's house. We said our goodbyes, and Ellie and Sara headed for the front door, while Eric and I walked along the street in front of my house.

"Which one's yours?" Eric asked.

"This one right here," I said, pointing to it. "But I sort of have my own entrance around the corner."

"Cool."

As we rounded the corner, he grabbed my hand again. It was too much. I dragged him up to the exterior wall and kissed him again, pushing him against it. Bliss. I'd been waiting for what felt like years. I felt like I might explode.

"Jay." He said, pushing me away slightly, and panting. "Should I go home?"

I groaned inwardly. Yes? Maybe? No. I had no idea what was happening to me — it was exhilarating, and terrifying, and wonderful. There was no doubt in my mind that I absolutely did not want him to leave. Maybe I thought it was a bad idea that he stayed, but I couldn't exactly bring myself to say that. But he sensed my hesitation.

"I should."

I kissed him quickly, like I needed to do it, just to stabilise myself.

"I don't want you to go. It's just that..." I groped for words, "I've never really done... anything..."

"With a guy?"

"With anyone."

"Oh." His eyes widened slightly. "OH."

He recovered quickly.

"That's okay," He said quickly. "I can stay, and we don't have to do anything... like that. I'm happy to just make out, or whatever."

I gave him another quick kiss, and nodded.

"Yeah?" He said. "I can still head home if you don't think it's a good idea."

"Don't you dare," I growled, grabbing his hand and dragging him along behind me. "Come on."

He laughed. I let go of his hand to try and open my gate without making too much noise. We both went in, and he stood in the path waiting while I locked it behind us. As soon as I finished he grabbed me and began kissing again, and then we broke apart and headed down the path again. It took us a few iterations of that — stopping, kissing, breaking apart and walking — before we finally reached my room.

I locked the doors, and closed all my blinds so no one would stand at the glass door and be able to look in on us. I texted my mom that I was home, safe and in bed, so she wouldn't come to check on me later.

Eric sat on my bed, watching me do all of this, giving me a smouldering stare. I went over to the table to turn off the lamp, but he grabbed my hand, stopping me. He pulled me down onto the bed, and ran his hand slowly up my arm, across my shoulders. He gripped my neck as he pulled my face towards his.

His kissing before had been violent and urgent, but now it was slower. His tongue pushed its way into my mouth and I struggled to contain myself to his leisurely, luxuriating pace. My own violence and urgency hadn't gone away, and all my efforts to speed up the tempo only seemed to amuse him. As I grew more tired, and it became more and more apparent that he wasn't going to melt away in the morning sun like fog, I began to relax, and just let myself enjoy it. It felt like a lifetime that we lay there, exploring each other's mouths.

We broke apart at one point for a breather, and just lay there, studying each other's faces again. He stroked my hair, and ran his thumb along my jaw and across my lips. I gently ran my fingers up and down his arm.

My eyes were heavy, and every time I blinked it felt like it would take more and more effort to open them again, so at a certain point I just stopped trying, and lay there with my eyes closed, feeling the heat of his breath against my face, and the weight of his hand on my chest.