One More Year Ch. 15

"How is he, by the way? We haven't really talked too much in the last couple of weeks."

"He's good. I think he's been busy too. Pretty quiet, but he seems fine. Cheerful, even. But you're deflecting."

"I am." I laughed. "Okay, so we did it."

"And by 'it' you mean..."

"Yes."

"Ah." He scratched his cheek, and looked over at me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just..." I sighed. "It kind of seemed like he was freaking out afterwards, and now it seems a bit like he's avoiding me."

"Oh, no." He frowned. "Sorry, that sucks."

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I'm pretty annoyed, because now I have to navigate this whole... situation, you know?"

"Sure." He nodded.

"But I don't think I really care. I was wondering if I should put a stop to it before this, anyway. If he wants to keep his distance, that's fine, I just hope it sort of stays that way."

"Well, that's pretty firm. Good for you."

"Thanks. I'm just not sure what to do now."

"Prelims are over, right?" He smiled. "So... Nothing. You can just relax and not worry about anything for a couple of weeks. Well, aside from how you're going to deal with Eric."

"I suppose."

"And then we can get through moderation, and buckle down for finals. Then you can find guys you're into who aren't confused."

"Yeah, more of those please." I sighed. "What about you?"

He blinked. "Me?"

"Yeah, you seem to be making good choices this year and avoiding drama. Aren't you interested in anyone?"

He smiled sadly. "Yeah, it's not so much that I'm making good choices. It's more that- nah, never mind. But yeah, I'm happy to just focus on school right now."

"Well, guys are missing out. You're cute and smart."

He blushed furiously and shook his head. "Thanks."

The chat moved on to more casual topics after that - music, books, the next movie night and my strategy for dealing with Eric. I didn't really want to fixate on the Jamie thing, but towards the end of the drive I'd gone silent, thinking about the whole situation again. Louis, being Louis, clearly noticed.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked as I rolled to a stop in his driveway.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I grimaced slightly, hearing how fake that sounded.

He gave me a patient smile. "What is it?"

"I just feel a bit stupid. You know, this feels like the second time I've done stuff with a guy. And it's also gone really badly."

"You're not stupid. What they don't teach you in Sex Ed-" He paused. "Oh, do they do Sex Ed at Elohim?"

"Yeah. After the third student pregnancy in two years, they thought of changing their strategy." I smirked. "Or were told to, by an angry PTA. And maybe a lawyer."

"Right. Good call." He laughed. "Anyway, I know there are some places where Sex Ed could be better for gays. But even for straight people, Sex Ed tends to only cover the physical stuff. Reproduction, Hygiene, Condoms, STDs. That sort of thing. They don't really try to drive home the fact enough that it's other people you have sex with, instead of just bodies."

"Yeah, it sucks when bodies have to have their own opinions."

He laughed and gave me a quick hug. "My point is that it's not just the sex - the stuff around sex is also really tricky, and basically no one has the answers there. So don't be too hard on yourself. You'll figure it out."

"Thanks." I said.

"Any time. And thanks for the ride." He got out and swung the door shut behind him, dashing through the rain to his front door as I pulled back onto the road.

Talking to him had filled me with hope, like it normally did. The weather was miserable, and Jamie was being weird - and both of those things would probably carry on for a while. But I didn't have to do anything for at least a week, and I was going to try and enjoy that.