One More Year Ch. 17

A gay bar. A fucking gay bar. All four of us were eighteen, but it felt over the top. Surely you had to move out of your parents house before you could do something like this. It felt like the bouncer should have asked for more than just ID - maybe an electricity bill, or a rental agreement.

My mom had made me give her Louis' number too, which was a bit weird, but I'd told her I was just going to a restaurant and that Ellie would be there as well. I'd asked Ellie to cover for me, because my mom would probably phone her first. Ellie had been very annoyed at not being invited along, but when we'd explained to her that it was Nick's plan, and he'd be there, she got a bit more forgiving. Relieved, even.

"This was a bad idea," I said to Louis.

"Of course. It was Nick's." He winced, and I laughed. "Sorry. Melissa's a bad influence."

We were waiting for Eric and Nick to get our drinks. Eric had told the three of us to sit, and that someone should just help him carry them back once he'd ordered. We were sitting right across the room from the bar, and he was in full view. But Nick had, blessedly, gotten up to follow him around like a puppy. Which Louis and I didn't really mind.

"I can't believe we're here." I said.

"I know. We should be studying."

"Or literally anything else." I smirked. "You major nerd."

He just laughed.

"At least we can talk here." The music wasn't too bad in this particular section, and we might have been forced to speak slightly louder, but we could still hear each other. Not that hearing Nick more was universally a good thing, but I could talk to Louis.

"Yeah, it's nice that the dancefloor's a few rooms away." Louis nodded.

The place was called Hello, Sailor - which I thought was kind of hilarious - and it was a pretty cool, if slightly cramped, place just off the waterfront. It seemed like it had been a house once, or a small hotel, just at the edge of the city. The space was split up by multiple tiny doorways. You'd have to rub against strangers a lot of the time to move through the place - an intentional feature, I assumed.

"I really don't want to hook up with anyone." I frowned.

Things had definitely fizzled out with Jamie, and I'd been pretty much the horniest I'd ever been in my life. The thing with him had started relatively soon after my breakup with Eric, and after that had ended, I was suddenly staring down the longest period of celibacy I'd gone through this year. Nick had been hinting that Louis and I should find guys while we chatted in my car on our drive into the city, so it was at the front of my mind.

But there was no way I was going to try and make out with a stranger in a bar. Least of all in front of Eric and his new boyfriend. That didn't feel like winning. Unless the guy I found was an absolute god, I suppose. Even then, I'd half-heartedly volunteered to be the designated driver, so I wouldn't be drinking. That was hardly the recipe for me having the confidence to talk to and kiss attractive strangers.

"Yeah, me neither." Of course Louis would say that.

He could easily have found someone though, if he'd wanted to. He looked amazing - he'd been at my house before we left, so we'd both been styled by Ellie, who'd made the two of us promise we'd take her to a gay bar one day. So long as Nick wasn't there. Louis had also worn his contact lenses for the occasion, and between the lack of glasses and Ellie's expertise, he almost looked like a different person.

I was reminded of Marc, who I'd had a crush on, and used to hang out with a lot. Louis kind of had the same colouring - brown hair, brown eyes - and a light sort of tan that seemed to stay the same, year round. It was why I'd avoided talking too much to Louis before stuff with Eric had happened. He and Marc could have been brothers. But Louis would have been the smarter one. And probably the better looking one, too.

His features were sharper, his lips a bit fuller, his eyes a bit more lively and intelligent. I'd never explained a joke to Louis, the way I had to sometimes with Marc. I could make a Lord of the Rings reference, or a philosophy-based pun, and I could always tell Louis had gotten it. A corner of his mouth would turn up, a dimple would appear, and his eyes would glint with amusement. You could tell he wasn't just pretending to understand.

He nodded over at Eric and Nick. "They seem to want to."

I blinked. I'd mildly zoned out for a second. "Want to what?"

Eric was chatting to the bartender, and Nick was reaching over the counter to play with the guy's necklace. The bartenders here wore only tiny pairs of navy shorts with white stripes at the hems. Sailor theme, but as gratuitously sexy as possible. No one seemed to be complaining, though.

The one that Eric and Nick had been talking to was pretty much the archetype of what most of them looked like. Buff, smooth chested and lightly tattooed. Derek - I knew the guy, and I'd finally remembered his name - had a bit of barbed wire inked around his upper arm, and if I was remembering properly, a tribal pattern on his left shoulder blade. Edgy.

"Hook up with someone. Together. Eric's told you they're open, right?"

"Right." I shifted. "Yeah. It came up. I didn't have Eric pegged as the poly type."

Louis grimaced. "He's not. It's a Nick thing. We had a whole... discussion about it."

"Does it get tiring, being everyone's life coach?" I grinned.

"Nah." He shoved me gently with his shoulder. "Eric's more exhausting than you. Being your life coach is easy."

"Thank you." I beamed. "They're wasting their time with that bartender though."

"You think?"

"Yeah, he's straight."

He laughed and narrowed his eyes. "And how would you know?"

"I suppose I can't be one hundred percent sure." I laughed. "But he's married to a woman, and they seem happy. I used to do karate with him. He says he flirts with any gay guy that looks rich because then he gets good tips."

"Wow. Aren't you worried about him recognising you?"

"Not really. It's been a year since I quit, and he's pretty self-centred, so he might not even remember me. Anyway, there's got to be zero overlap in our social circles. He's like thirty."

"Yikes. Is this his full-time job?"

"He calls himself a DJ." I smirked. "So yes, probably."

Louis laughed, and Nick and Eric came back with our drinks - non-alcoholic for me, sadly. I was going to have to tolerate Nick while completely sober. It wasn't so bad at first. Nick seemed to need to drink to open up, so he only started getting talkative once the first drinks were done. Maybe I was distracted, but he wasn't being as annoying as the first night we'd met him - but that was possibly a low bar.

Besides, it was my first time at a gay bar, which meant something. While it had the unfortunate affliction of being a bar, I was all on board for the gay part. Even if I didn't really want to pick up a stranger, it was nice to see guys kissing and flirting. Not worrying about what people around them thought. And the bartenders, in their little outfits, were pretty damn cute.

And for company I had Louis. For good company, anyway. Eric seemed a bit sullen, and Nick was getting chattier with each drink, but at least Louis and I could have an entertaining conversation on our own, and give each other knowing glances when Nick said something cringeworthy. There was an annoying moment when Louis insisted on buying the next round, after Eric had bought three already, and he'd left me alone with the others while he went to the bar.

"Look at Louis, being a playa." Nick drew out the last word.

I shifted my gaze to Louis, feeling a vague pang of annoyance at Nick. Louis was at the bar waiting for our drinks, but the guy next to him had struck up a conversation, and the two of them were smiling and calmly talking. Derek put the drinks down on the counter, so I got up to help Louis carry them back.

"I have to go." Louis stammered to the guy at the bar as I walked up.

I smiled and nodded at him as Louis passed me drinks, but neither of us said anything. The guy was cute. Dark hair, pretty face, nice body. He didn't look that smart, and he gave me a fairly grumpy look, so who knew if he'd be a good match for Louis. But I suppose that wasn't always the point if you were picking up someone in a bar. He was attractive, which I suppose is what mattered.

"See you around later then." He smirked at Louis.

"Nice," I said as we wove our way back across the room.

"Oh, that was nothing." Louis shook his head slightly. "He just thought he recognised me from somewhere, but we worked out that he couldn't have."

I raised my eyebrows. "I think that might have been a pickup line."

"What?" He blushed. "No, come on. I sincerely doubt it."

I just shrugged, and laughed a little.

"Okay, shut up." He nodded at Nick and Eric. "I'm not talking about it with them."

"Fine." I bit my lip.

We sat down, and handed them their drinks.

"So..." Nick wiggled suggestively on his seat. "What was that about?"

"Nothing." Louis went bright red.

"Come on, what did he say?" Eric asked.

"He was a Jehovah's Witness," I said quickly. "He wanted to know if we'd heard the good news."

"And we had," Louis smiled at me. "Two for one special on tequila shots."

Eric and I laughed.

"You guys are weird." Nick said.

"You like it." Eric said, grabbing him around the waist.

He pouted. "Hmmmm, maybe."

Nick leaned in and started making out with Eric. I looked at Louis and rolled my eyes. He quietly laughed.

"Okay, enough of that." Eric pushed Nick off. "I want to have my drink."

Nick brushed his hair aside calmly, but I wondered if I'd caught a hint of a dark look flashing across his eyes.

The conversation that night wasn't great. Nick seemed frustrated that we just wanted to sit around and talk instead of dancing, and it took Eric quite a while and quite a few drinks to warm up and start acting normally. Even once it got going, Louis, Eric and I chatted like usual, but sometimes Nick would drop in a non-sequitur and plunge us into an awkward silence.

Eric also kept being anti-PDA with Nick, which was really odd, considering where we were. I suppose it would have been annoying to bring Louis and I out somewhere just so we could sit there and watch him make-out with his new boyfriend, so maybe he was aware of that. It was still really awkward to keep seeing Nick paw at him and be constantly brushed off. Hard to watch, but impossible to look away.

Louis and I were mainlining our drinks the whole time, which had its effect on him. Unlike me, he was actually drinking alcohol. We both had a habit of nervously sipping our way through painful lapses in the conversation, and there were plenty of them. Louis, at least, got to loosen up and enjoy the evening more. I stopped following the conversation. Most of it seemed to be Nick focusing his energy on telling Louis to go find that guy from the bar. It wasn't really going anywhere.

"I don't want to hook up with someone. I'm perfectly happy focusing on school, thank you." Louis laughed, but I could see the muscles in his jaw tightening.

"FINE." Nick scoffed dramatically. "What about Jason then? Who are we wrapping him around?"

"Jay's fine too." Louis frowned at Nick. "He has a secret lover."

Eric's eyes flicked over at me. I gave Louis an annoyed look, and he grimaced.

"WHAT secret lover?" Nick laughed.

"Louis' drunk. He doesn't know what he's talking about." I shoved him playfully.

"I am." To illustrate the point, he'd swayed after I'd pushed him, and then collapsed back onto the couch. "Maybe I heard Jay wrong. Maybe he got a new cover. For his phone or something."

"Yeah." I nodded. "I have a new phone cover."

"You don't use a phone cover." Eric said.

"I told you, it's a SECRET cover," Louis said. Eric and I laughed.

"You guys are weird." Nick frowned, but then perked up. "We should dance."

"Oh, Jay and Louis don't really dance." Eric said.

"I'll dance if Jay does." Louis smirked up at me.

"Nope." I crossed my arms.

"Oh, COME ON." Nick walked up to me, and grabbed my arm. I tensed. "PLEASE, Jason. For me. I'll make sure a cute guy kisses you."

"Nick-" Eric began, but I cut him off.

"Fine, I'll go." I looked at Nick. "But if you try to make me kiss someone I'll throw you through a window."

"Yes!" Nick said, and spun around, weaving through the crowd. Eric shot me an apologetic glance, and took off after him.

"Called your bluff." I smirked at Louis.

"I know. Damn, guess I have to dance now." He smiled, and we got up. "Sorry about the secret lover thing. I was trying to get him off your back, but that was a bad choice."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I grinned. "But please don't tell people about the things I do in private with my phone."

He laughed, and grabbed my arm as we wove our way through the rooms to the dancefloor.

Dancing, as it turned out, wasn't terrible. I'd never really enjoyed it, but Louis was there, so I wasn't the only one shuffling awkwardly on the floor. Nick was ridiculous, but kind of fun. What he lacked in actual ability he made up for in pure joy. I suspected that eventually I'd need to take a break, to think of new things to do with my arms, if nothing else. But I wasn't having the worst time.

The primary advantage, of course, was that the music on the dancefloor was so loud you had to shout in someone's ear to get them to hear you. The segmented rooms had made conversation possible, so long as you were two or three doors away from the speakers. But here, it was deafening, which meant we didn't have to talk to Nick. I could begin to see why some people might consider the noise of a dancefloor pleasant.

A guy showed up and started dancing with our little four-man band, and when the light hit his face I was sure it was the one Louis had been talking to at the bar. He smiled at Louis, and shouted something in his ear, but I couldn't hear it over the music. Louis shouted a response, and looked over at me nervously. I gave him the thumbs up, and he shrugged. We kept dancing.

Eventually, it became clear - to everyone - that this guy was really into Louis. He was dancing in close, putting his arms around him, and they shouted things into each other's ears. Louis was blushing furiously, and not looking directly at him. I smiled at Eric, and he mouthed 'Good for him' at me. I nodded and kept dancing.

A cute guy with tanned skin and an artful piling of black, curly hair popped out of the crowd and hugged Nick. Nick laughed, and pulled him round to Eric and shouted in both their ears. They shook hands awkwardly.

Nick leaned over and shouted something in the new guy's ear. He looked over at me, smiled, and then shouted something back. Nick grinned, and grabbed the guy by his arm and dragged him over to me. Nick grabbed my arm too, and sort of shoved us together, and then just backed away, still dancing. I gave my new dance partner an awkward smile.

"Hi, I'm Tyler." He shouted over the music.

"I'm Jay." I shouted back.

"Nick says your name's Jason."

"Yeah, it is. But everyone calls me Jay."

My eyes flicked to Louis. I couldn't wait to laugh with him later about the fact that Nick had just tried to force his friend on me. But Louis looked more than a little uncomfortable, and I wondered if anything was wrong. His guy seemed cute, so I didn't know why he had an expression on his face like he'd rather be anywhere else. Maybe he was just feeling self-conscious because he didn't want to mess it up.

"My ex's name was Jason." Tyler grimaced. "Not a good guy."

I tried to be sympathetic, but I'd always hated it when people called me by my full first name. It wasn't exactly a great way of winning me over. "Oh, sorry to hear that."

"You could make it up to me." Tyler leaned in, clearly doing his best to shout seductively into my ear. It did not work.

"Yeah, I don't feel guilty about whatever your ex did, man." I leaned away, and clapped him on the shoulder. 'Man'? I didn't quite know why I was talking like Jamie. It had probably been a good thing that we'd stopped hanging out so much. Next thing I knew, I'd be winking at everyone all the time.

Tyler just laughed loudly, maybe a little nervously, and kept dancing. I turned away from him slightly. It wasn't that I didn't find him attractive. Maybe it was because he was Nick's friend, so I felt we were already off on the wrong foot. Or maybe it was his weird attempt at a line that blamed me for his ex's behaviour, because we happened to share a name I barely even used.

But it was probably just that I was suddenly very worried about Louis, who by all means should have been enjoying himself, but looked kind of miserable. It had gotten to a crisis point. I could see the guy's hungry expression, as he looked directly at Louis and moved his head towards him, going in for a kiss.

But Louis flinched - he actually, visibly flinched - turning his head away. Second later, he'd disentangled himself from the guy's arms, and marched out the room. The guy looked annoyed, but then shrugged and carried on dancing with us.

"I need to go check on my friend." I shouted at Tyler, and followed after Louis.

The cold night air made my skin tingle as I stepped outside and spotted Louis sitting on a padded bench next to the entrance. I lowered myself down next to him.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm just-" He sighed. "I don't know. Sorry."

"Sorry?"

"For causing a scene, and being weird. I just wasn't into it, and I didn't know how to... extract myself from the situation gracefully."

"Listen, if it's a choice between making a scene or kissing a guy you don't want to kiss, you make a scene, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." He smiled. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"I think I'm going to try and catch an Uber home." He crossed his arms and buried his head in them.

"Don't be ridiculous. If you're leaving, I'm leaving."

He turned his head to face me and grimaced. "I don't want to ruin your night."

"A night that involves Nick and zero alcohol?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah." He nodded. "It's your first time at a gay bar. And that friend of Nick's was pretty cute, right?"

"Tyler?" I scoffed. "Fuck that guy. He wanted me to blow him because I have the same name as his ex."

He laughed softly. "What?"

"Okay, I think he was trying to be cute or something. But it was awkward and just... No. Not interested." I nudged him. "Besides, I'm trying to make good choices now. How could anybody who's friends with Nick be a good choice?"

He shook his head, smiling. "That's a little unfair, but I get your point."

"I'll let the happy couple know we're going. Don't run away or anything, or I'll freak out and call the police."

"Okay, I promise."

I grabbed him in a quick hug and got up. Once I got back inside, I noticed with a wry sense of amusement that Louis's rejected suitor - whatever the hell his name was - had started making out with Tyler. Eric and Nick had moved to the edge of the dance floor. Maybe I was imagining it, but Eric looked kind of tired, and Nick seemed almost unhappy.

I nodded to the doorway, and they followed me into a quieter room. "Louis and I are going home now."

"Oh boo." Nick crossed his arms and pouted.

"You guys okay with catching an Uber?" I asked.

"Or..." Nick said. "We can all just go back to Eric's place. No one's home, so we can drink and hangout in the hot tub or whatever."

Eric frowned, then shrugged. "Uh, yeah. I guess that's fine. Unless that's like... weird for you or something."

It felt like a challenge. The last thing I really wanted to do was to hang out somewhere more private with Eric and Nick. But the way he'd put that... I had to show Eric, again, that I didn't care. Especially since I'd realised that I did care, at least a bit. I still didn't want him back. But every time it seemed like he was pitying me, I felt an annoying twinge of rage. It was right up there with lust, in the list of things which derailed my ability to make good decisions.