All Comments on 'One of Jerry's Kids'

i think Donna is not ready to marry Peter, if she has just found love with his sister Lois.....time to postpone the wedding so Donna can get her head straight and decide, or at least talk it over with Peter.

well written so far.

Judging by Lois' comments, her relationship with Peter may be the best out of all her familial relations. He may be more receptive that one might think, especially if Donna's relationship with Lois improves her relationship with him.

Slow and tantalizing buildup and an interesting storyline. Well done as usual

Wow! Excellent! Your good!

Now, I need to find your other stories and bookmark them.

Thanks for a good story.

yoo long and very little detail you don't tell us lois measurements, you don't describe any of the sex the two women have between them.plusit took three pages to get them naked. you need to learn how to write a true erotic story for i have read a lot better.

is a follow up story. Was this just curiousity on Donna's part or is she going to carry on this affair? How does this effect her wedding plans? This is a very good story that should be continued.

Thanks to all the people who took the time to read and comment, both here and privately... however, to the anon below who was irate that I did not give Lois's measurements and took so long to get to the sex... Please do not waste your time reading anything of mine in the future. Bookmark davidwatts and aviod me like an STD. There are countless stories here on Literotica that 1) give intimate yet worthless numerical measurements of all participants instead of giving physical descriptions that allow you to paint your own picture in your mind, and 2) have everyone reaching orgasm two minutes after saying hello. For better or worse that's not the way I write and never will be.

FANTASTIC story,I do hope that you add lots more to this one.......

Paul

Normally I have a hard time reading more than two pagers on line but this just drew me in. I liked the slow build up and character development. This really would not have worked well any other way. I agree with those who said this begs for a part 2.

A little different for you but very enjoyable

I normally am not that turned on by woman on woman stories but this one is sensational. It cries out for a sequal or two or ten! Ignore the critics, David. Some people need to figure out that these are stories, not real life. I think our harshest critics are people who have not had anything posted themselves. This is especially true of the guy who can't spell California. You always do a great job. Keep up the good work.

Bob

The best of all. Lois was great. The lush carpet in her underarms kept me really hard till the end of the story. Maybe some more of her and maybe the three hairy women who Donna had seen

It was so amazingly hot! I'm speechless and it made me come when I read it. Please please continue and have Donna explore Lois' hairy pits!

I loved it..this is this second story by you ive read and i do believe im hooked !!

If any story cries out for a sequel, this is it. Chain yourself to that computer and get writing!

Not quite as good as 'Mac and Me' but very close, certainly worth the five stars I've given it. You've got the ability to create real and believable characters. Maybe this tale could do with a sequel, maybe not. Perhaps best to let the readers decide for themselves what happens next.

I want to know how their relationship develops, please.

I liked this story so much and i'm hoping to read more about Lois and Donna. Hope she realizes that Peter is not the one for her.

Wonderful story.

I enjoyed it, but I would say that i did get taken out of the story a little in the beginning when it was mentioned that Lois has big breasts but doesn't own any bras...I guessed then that the author was probably male and from your username i think i'm right. Great story though