One Slip: The Sacrifice & Aftermath

"But now, I have a bigger problem. That call was from one of my contacts at the country club. Seems your husband was just there looking for me. While I've got a good chance of delaying the authorities, your puckered self-righteous husband is another matter. He may want to find me because I betrayed him, or he believes your blackmail sob story. Either way, it won't end well."

Gil grumbled as he opened the desk drawer that had once housed Steve's Cannon. Shaking his head, he sighed.

"No, this isn't going to end well at all."

Donna started to say something about Steve not having that gun but froze when Gil took out his own gun. He checked it carefully and slid it into a ready position with a loud click. Slowly he placed it on the desk.

"What?" Donna whispered in disbelief.

"It's called a Glock..."

"No! This is insane! What are you doing?

"A betrayed, angry, 'eye for an eye' type of husband is looking for me. What did you think would happen?

"My call said Steve left the country club just before some deputy arrived. He'll probably go to my office first, but eventually he'll end up coming back here. Hopefully, he'll see reason but we both know that's probably unlikely. Let's face it, our little fuck probably destroyed his perfect little world."

"Please Gil, don't do this. Just leave."

"No," Gil stated coldly. "Steve won't stop and frankly I have no intention of looking over my shoulder until I can leave town. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and be able to back him off for a bit. If the gun doesn't work, then I'll have to threaten to harm your kids. All I need is to stall him for a day or two. Regardless, it's better to deal with this now."

Carefully Donna reached into her purse. With difficulty she removed Steve's gun, she pulled the hammer back and tried to aim it at Gil's chest. She struggled but couldn't stop her hands from shaking and the gun was so heavy. At the sound of the gun cocking Gil's eyes went wide but then a sly, evil grin formed on his face.

"Oh my!" he snickered. "What a BIG gun you have, little girl!"

"Move away from the gun," Donna squeaked, her voice betraying her.

"Go to hell," he sneered, slowly reaching for his gun.

"I'm already there," Donna whispered as she closed her eyes and pulled the trigger.

There was an explosion and Steve's office became surreal. She winced at the sharp pain in her shoulder and her arm felt partially numb. The huge gun lay on the floor beside her where she'd dropped it.

Looking over at Steve's desk she saw the huddled mass that had been her husband's best friend. She couldn't see his face but a dark pool of blood had begun to gather beneath him. Mixed within the ringing sound in her ears, she thought she could make out a siren. Donna staggered back against the wall and slowly slid to the floor.

She looked over at the unmoving body and knew everything was about to change.

"Steve," she whispered. "I love you. I'm so sorry. Please find a way to forgive me."

In reality, it was only one slip, to some, it was a monumental act of betrayal, to others it was a sad human error, but not marriage destroying. However one viewed it, in the end it would carry a price, a life changing cost because it required... a sacrifice.

*****

The Aftermath

Donna sighed as she adjusted herself on the bench. She looked down at her bright orange prison garb and snorted.

"Orange is the new black... yeah right."

She looked up at her husband, staring at her through the glass. He looked exhausted, but was still handsome. She prayed she'd feel his arms holding her again, someday. She reminded herself not to get too hopeful, since there was still a chance he'd file for divorce.

The past several months had been hell; not only for her, but on him and their family. The media circus and trial had thrown them into the public's eye. Sex, cheating, blackmail and a Smith & Wesson .44 magnum had given the internet more than enough to have a field day at their expense. There had been countless pictures of her circulated with the 'Go ahead make my day!', 'Do you feel lucky?', and 'Dirty Donna' memes.

If she'd been surprised by the public chaos created by her slip, then she'd been dumbstruck with how the trial had gone.

Her lawyer had said it best at the beginning of the fiasco, it probably would've been better if she'd killed Gil. No, Gil hadn't died. There are many reasons why one doesn't close one's eyes when firing a gun: aim is an obvious one.

Still, when Donna had fired, she'd managed to hit Gil in the shoulder. With a bullet of that caliber, it left a large hole. While he didn't die from the initial gunshot, he almost bled-out before help could arrive.

With a serious wound, Gil ended up in the hospital and wasn't able to implement his escape plan. He was arrested before he was ever released. Whether he was trying to play some legal game or he was just being vindictive, his testimony contradicted Donna's so drastically that an overly aggressive prosecutor went after both Gil and Donna.

Initially, they'd claimed self-defense and the "in the heat of passion" but things weren't clear cut when they couldn't prove Gil was reaching for the gun due to his conflicting testimony. What was provable was that Gil didn't have the gun in his hand when she shot him. She didn't know which was more insane, the legal system or someone expecting justice from it.

Those first few weeks were full of dark legal twists and accusations. Karma began to balance itself out as more and more evidence came out concerning Gil's past blackmails, and public opinion was quickly gaining for Donna. Also working in her favor, was that the Cannon wasn't considered a semi-automatic, further reducing the potential maximum sentence. The DA, aware that he'd be up for reelection soon, was quick to offer a deal.

In the end, she'd pled guilty to a lesser offense. It still carried a multiple-year max sentence so it wasn't ideal, but it could've been much worse. The judge had taken multiple things into consideration when he eventually sentenced her to the county jail, something usually reserved for sentences under a year. Donna's lawyer was certain that she'd be released early and would probably only serve six months.

"Justice isn't just blind," Donna whispered, "she's psychotic and has PMS!"

"What?"

Donna snorted sarcastically.

"I said I've got to learn to not talk to myself," she replied with a small smile.

He smiled back.

"Sometimes it's the only way I know what you're thinking."

"Steve," she whispered peering intently into his face. "All you have to do is ask. I'll try to be as honest as possible."

"I know," he replied gently.

They both knew. There had been countless conversations before she was sentenced. Each one had been brutally honest and painful, and had always ended the same: with Donna depressed and Steve frustrated and angry. Donna had to admit she'd actually been relieved when she'd started serving her sentence, since it'd removed her from the tension that permeated her home and marriage.

She watched him fidget before he stammered out his first question.

"So, how are you doing?"

"Just great," she snorted. "Just yesterday, me and the girls were all lying around the pool, sunbathing... "

"That's not what I meant," he retorted with a smile.

She almost laughed at the thought of she and the other inmates all lounging around a pool. Her jail was considered one of the better ones in the state, meaning cleanest and least violent, but it would never be mistaken for a resort.

"I know. I was trying to lighten the mood a little."

She smiled at him softly. Her love for him was still strong, even though her present living conditions made the relationship very strained.

"I'm all right. Things have gotten much better. I'm lying low and trying to keep to myself. Of course, being around Mia helps."

Donna studied her husband looking for some reaction even though she knew he wouldn't show one. She'd thrown out statements like that every time he'd visited. His lack of reaction didn't deter her from believing he'd had a hand in her current situation.

Her first few weeks here had been very hard. There'd been nights she'd silently fought back her tears, but never where someone could see or hear. She couldn't completely hide her looks, and that had gathered some unwanted attention.

Shortly after she'd mentioned it to Steve, she'd met Mia. Mia was an intimidating, mid-forties, obese, heavily tattooed, mixed race woman who'd been serving the last part of her sentence after being transferred from a state medium security prison.

Without any discussion, Mia had befriended her, and the word was out that Donna was with her. To Donna's surprise, all that meant was that Mia demanded she act submissive and that she keep her mouth shut about their relationship.

She'd tried to subtly broach the subject with Mia once... but only once. Mia's outburst still made Donna shutter.

"Dammit, Snow White, why the hell would you want to fuck this all up by sticking your nose where it don't belong? Just keep that fucking mouth shut and your lily-white ass next to me and you'll get out of here with your sweet little ass and pussy intact. Understand?"

Donna understood, but she was now even more certain Steve was involved. Still, he denied it, and she certainly wasn't going to bring it up again with Mia.

"How are the kids?"

"Doing okay. Adjusting somewhat. I have some drawings I can bring if you want."

"No! I told you before that I don't want anything from them while I'm in here. Steve, it's too hard for me to be constantly reminded of what I'm missing. Please just tell them how much I love and miss them.

"They miss you."

"I miss them, too, but if I break down in here it would be very bad for me. Please don't ever bring them here, Steve. It's bad enough my husband and parents see me like this."

Donna sat back and sighed. When she'd started her sentence, her mother had moved in with Steve and the kids to help. The first week she was allowed visitation, Steve and her parents had been there. After that, Steve and her mother alternated on visitation days.

"Mom seems to be doing better."

"Glad to hear that, she's been a huge help."

"You know she was terrified you'd divorce me while I was in here and get full custody of the children. Then you'd move away and she'd never get to see her grandchildren again."

Steve grimaced and shook his head.

"I told you both I wouldn't do that. There won't be any decisions like that for the time being. We'll need to discuss that after you'd been released."

"What if I'm not released early? There's no guarantee that'll happen."

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Listen, Donna, I'm trying to be as fair as I can about all this. Even with what you did... with him, I know you were trying to protect me from ending up in a place like this for life.

"Although I sometimes wonder why. Why you went to this extreme?"

"Steve," she replied quietly, "you know why."

"Yeah," he nodded, "but I need to hear it again, sometimes."

She reminded herself that this was a positive thing. It meant her husband was focusing on her actions after her slip, instead of the betrayal itself. That gave her a reason to hope.

"I'm sorry," he said breaking her thoughts. "I don't mean to make you relive it."

"No, it's all right. I know it's been difficult for you not having a clear reason why I slipped, but I know exactly why I shot Gil.

"Steve, I love you, even if my actions that night at the party didn't show it. When Gil pulled out his gun, I saw my future flash before my eyes. I saw me trying to explain to our children why their daddy couldn't come home because he was in prison. And if Gil would've shot you instead..."

Her voice cracked and she quietly gathered herself before she continued.

"I saw a life without you, and I couldn't accept that. I'd caused this, and I needed to make sure you and our family weren't hurt any worse because of my failures. I'd failed you once, and I wasn't going to fail you again. My only real regret, besides my slip, is that I closed my eyes when I shot him."

"Well, it worked out pretty well in spite of that," her husband chuckled. "Gil is probably wishing you'd killed him about now, as well."

"I was afraid the judge was going to agree with his defense," Donna said gently, "and declare him a sociopath."

"Thankfully he didn't. Although they sure showed he had several sociopathic tendencies. I mean what the hell?" Steve shook his head. "What was he even thinking?"

"I have no idea," Donna replied. "Blackmailing women you know into being your corporate whore? That's just asking to get caught. I guess it was the thrill of beating the odds that motivated him to do something so stupid. Of course, he's lucky he never went to Las Vegas."

Her husband gave her a questioning look. Donna gave him a wicked smile in return.

"He thought I would accept him blackmailing me; he was wrong. He didn't think I'd confess everything to you; again, he was wrong. He was also mistaken in believing he'd be able to leave the area quickly enough to avoid the police. With that kind of thinking and luck, he'd probably end up in a shallow grave somewhere in the desert if he'd gone to Las Vegas!"

They both laughed but then the awkward silence returned.

"You know," she said softly, "the fact he had some of those tendencies does explain some things though."

"What's that?"

"Sociopaths are expert liars. That would explain how he was able to fool us and all of our friends. It's not an excuse, Steve, but it was a factor in all this. He deceived us all but my stupidity was the worst.

Steve slowly nodded his agreement.

"So," Donna said cautiously, "did my stupidity destroy us?"

"Donna, you know where we are with that."

"I know, but like you, I need to hear it sometimes, as well."

Steve shifted uncomfortably on the bench.

"First off, I love you. I will probably love you for the rest of my life. And I've already told you that I forgave you. I won't carry that kind of anger and bitterness inside me. It's like poison.

"But Donna, that doesn't mean we're all right. You hurt me... worse than I've ever been hurt before."

"I know," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, Steve. I wish I could take it back, but I can't."

She knew this conversation would be hard. It always was. Still, he needed to vent and she needed to listen. The words he'd say would hurt, and seeing what her infidelity had done to him would be torture but it was necessary. If he didn't, it could fester and poison any chance of their marriage getting through this.

"I'm still struggling with all this, Donna. Your betrayal, Gil's betrayal. I'm not sure I would've killed him, but I'd certainly planned on hurting him that day. If he'd pulled his gun and threatened our kids... I can't say I wouldn't have shot him.

"Regardless of how all this started," he said gently. "You sacrificed yourself for me. That alone earns you the right not to have to worry about fighting a divorce while you're in here."

They sat and stared at each other for a few awkward moments before Donna spoke.

"Mom says Connie is still spending a lot of time at the house."

Steve nodded.

"I know it concerns your mother, but I couldn't just turn her away. Connie's really lost right now, Donna. With everything coming out about Gil, most everyone we know is avoiding her; she's all alone."

"Kind of like me," Donna replied softly, failing to hide her fear and jealousy.

"Yes," her husband sighed, "but she didn't do anything to deserve it. She suspected Gil was having affairs, but she didn't know about the blackmail. Sue Dalgreen said Gil even bragged that his wife was clueless about that aspect. Still, she blames herself for turning a blind eye towards Gil's cheating. She feels that if she hadn't maybe all of this could've been prevented.

"I seriously doubt that. Connie was even more of a trophy wife than any of us suspected. I'm told she's probably what's called a closet submissive. Gil completely controlled their marriage when not in public."

Donna nodded, since that would fit some of the things she now suspected about Gil and Connie. She sat silently staring at her husband, trying to form the question she dreaded to ask.

"No," Steve quietly said interrupting her thoughts. "Nothing has happened, nor will it."

"Some would think... " she started to say softly. "You would be justified, you know."

"Bullshit!" Steve snorted. The force of his reply surprised her and got the attention of one of the guards.

After a warning, Steve calmly continued.

"Yes, there've been several opportunities and Connie is definitely a very beautiful woman but... I couldn't do that to her. She was the wife of my best friend, and even though he turned out to be a piece of shit, she doesn't deserve to be used.

"If I did, I'd be taking advantage of her, playing on her guilt and fears. That's something that would change me, somehow. I could turn into someone I wouldn't like. Regardless of what happens between us, I have to keep trying to be the kind of man I want to be.

"Donna I'm trying to do the right thing here. I can't just throw away our past fifteen years, and I understand what you've done to try and make things better. And with you being here... I recognize your sacrifice. But Donna, I can't forget what you did. I'm still struggling with how you could just forget about me and our love."

Donna started to say something, but Steve cut her off.

"You say that you love me, but I have to question that. Even if it's true, is that the same love that allowed you to give another man a blowjob? Is that the same love that couldn't stop you from spreading your legs for another man in the heat of the moment?

"Donna, you're a beautiful woman, and I know guys will continue to hit on you. What happens when the next handsome stud decides he wants you? Will you be hit by some kind of Martian Slut Ray and just jump into his bed?"

His words stung, and Donna fought back a harsh reply. Her anger wasn't aimed at him, it was born out of the absurdity of her current situation. She'd betrayed her marriage; she took full responsibility for that, but it was something that had happened to countless spouses over the centuries. In her case, it had snowballed. She'd cheated, but then the supposed friend she'd cheated with tried to blackmail her. When she'd confessed to her husband, things got even more bizarre and turned into some kind of testosterone-driven, Wild West show with everyone seeming to have a gun. Then, to top it off, she'd shot Gil to protect her family, but since he didn't actually have his gun in his hand...

Now she was in jail, under the protection of a woman who scared the hell out of her while her marriage was on life support. Things hadn't just snowballed... this was a damn avalanche!

She felt like that avalanche had swept her over the side of the cliff and now her husband was the only thing holding her safety line to her past life. That feeling of helplessness was infuriating.

Donna breathed deeply, fighting back the frustration. Fair or not, things were what they were. Not everything had been lost, so there was still hope, something still left to fight for. Her marriage and family were two of those things. She knew Steve still loved her. It was damaged, probably crippled for life, but it was still there.

He'd also forgiven her. She was thankful for that, but knew what that actually meant. It was a conscious choice Steve had to make repeatedly. Someday it would be just an afterthought, but for now it was a day-to-day occurrence. She also knew that even though her slip had been forgiven, the memory of it would never completely go away. There would always be the scars.