One Step Behind

It wasn't anything physical; her legs were as long and slender as I remembered, she spread them as wide as I remembered, her nipples were as dark and hard and her vagina as deep and tight as I remembered.

The energy of our copulations was as raw and powerful as before too, but not even the loud, familiar wailing that filled her bedroom as I hammered my cock into her over and over again, could prevent me feeling that some of the original passion had gone.

When Sunday afternoon came, even though her body reeked of the sex we had enjoyed barely an hour before, the goodbye kiss she gave me on the station platform was definitely not as passionate as the embrace we had enjoyed before departing for our respective colleges.

I returned to London feeling a little hung over, very satisfied sexually, but with a nagging doubt inside me.

Chapter Seven

It was around this time that my Engineering course began to be seriously demanding. Having given us half a term to get used to University life and study, and for those who weren't going to make it to drop out, the screws were really put on us in terms of work.

Lecture followed lecture, worksheet followed worksheet and the time spent in laboratories grew longer and longer. Parties grew fewer too, and the need for weekend work meant the opportunities to travel all but disappeared.

It was just before Christmas when I learned - via a friend, not from her directly - that Annabel in Exeter had not only cheated on me with Simon, she had been doing so both before and after my visit, and they were now in a steady relationship.

I had been dumped without even knowing it.

I tried to phone but she wouldn't take my call. I wrote a short letter; the brief, terse note from her that arrived a few days after that, confirmed that she and I were no longer an item.

The shock and emotional pain were horrible, but as a proud young man, I could not let it show.

What I could also not do was forget it and move on. Try as hard as I might, I could not stop thinking of her and what was now happening all those miles away.

Another lucky boy now knew what it felt to be between those long slender thighs and feel that deep, tight vagina around his cock. Another boy now knew the extraordinary, animal noises she made when being fucked.

Had he fucked her just before I arrived in Exeter? Did they fuck as soon as I had left?

Oh Christ! Had she fucked us both on the same day? Within the hour?

Night after night my mind was filled with images of the girl I had known; on her back with Simon's strong, powerful body between her thighs; on all fours with him kneeling behind her, thrusting into her doggy-style as I had done; of her straddling him, her slender body fully impaled on the monster cock that my twisted imagination had endowed him with.

Worse than this, my own body was responding in kind.

Every night, as surely as these terrible images tormented my mind, my cock would join in the cruelty by becoming painfully hard. The more I imagined her being fucked by Simon, the more persistent my erection became.

There was no denying the massive arousal that Annabel's infidelity was producing in me. The agony of picturing her infidelity was perversely but inextricably mixed with almost unbearable arousal in a way that was both physically and emotionally painful.

No amount of masturbation and ejaculation could free me from this torment; and believe me, I did it a lot.

I tried to console myself with the knowledge that, however many boys she fucked from now on, Annabel's cherry belonged to me and that could never be changed. The memories of that first fuck went some way towards reinforcing my battered male ego, but at the same time, reminded me of what I would no longer be able to enjoy so instead, I tried to distract myself.

For a short time, I tried the time-honoured route of excessive alcohol with my friends. Then when this didn't work, I tried excessive exercise, running alone through the city streets. All this did was give me more time to think about my grievance, so finally, I embarked on a quest for excessive sex.

This finally brought me to one of the darkest part of my past, and to a naive girl called Rachel.

Rachel was sweet rather than pretty but had a nice, rounded body. Living in the same Hall of Residence as me, I had met her via friends during the first week of term. She was shy, ridiculously innocent and credulous, but above all, the poor girl had had a major crush on me since term started.

That crush gave me the chance I needed and proved to be her undoing.

I have to admit that I behaved shamefully. Taking no prisoners, I romanced, seduced and deflowered her, all on the night of the Hall Ball. Then, having taken her cherry in her Hall bedroom so noisily that her friends couldn't possibly fail to know what was happening, I fucked her hard and frequently almost every day for three weeks, with no protection and no attempt to conceal the fact.

Why did she let me do it? It was the old, old story. Having surrendered her virginity, she was madly in love with me, wanted me to love her forever in return, and was prepared to let me do anything I wanted to her achieve this.

What I wanted was good, frequent, adventurous sex to stop me thinking about Annabel being fucked by Simon. Despite having Rachel in every way I could imagine -- yes, even including anally - neither of us got what we wanted.

Okay, for a short time, I got plenty of sex, but the wound opened up by my dumping was too fresh and too deep to be healed by sex alone. My head was still stubbornly full of Annabel, and I was incapable of loving anyone -- not even a girl as lovely as Rachel undoubtedly was.

Even with my cock balls-deep inside her tight, inexperienced cunt, every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Annabel - usually lying on her back, Simon's fit, athletic body rising and falling between her pale, slender thighs, her blonde head thrashing from side to side in the throes of sexual ecstasy.

Several times, the anger and passion this vivid image produced, drove me to fuck Rachel almost brutally. It must have been painful for her, but having only had sex with me, she probably assumed this was what all sex was like.

In the end, my conscience finally won. I couldn't maintain the lie any longer and told Rachel the truth; that I was damaged goods and would never be able to give her the love she needed.

Her tears were real and heart breaking, and we broke up just before Christmas.

My behaviour was appalling; even now I am ashamed of myself. Rachel, if by some million-to-one chance you are reading this, I am truly sorry. You deserved a lot better than me.

At Christmas, feeling disgusted with myself, shunned by Rachels' friends, with an uncommunicative best friend of my own and no girlfriend on the scene, I went abroad to spend the festive period with my parents.

Chapter Eight

Three months later, towards the end of the spring term, I was at a party in a student house; the sort of open-door event that friends of friends are welcome to attend.

The pain of losing Annabel had faded considerably, helped in no small part by Nicky, one of the girls in whose house the party was being held. I had met and fucked Nicky twice after previous drunken parties (the purely casual basis being her decision, not mine), but we were still on good terms.

And of course, there was always the possibility of a third round in the offing to attract me.

By inviting me and my friends to the party, she was guaranteed a fair showing of good-looking male students and given that she lived in an all-girl house of seven, we needed no great encouragement to attend.

It was past pub closing time when I arrived at the house with three friends, half-drunk already and on the lookout for available pussy. As promised, there were plenty of girls at the party, but as usual, the availability of their vaginas was questionable.

Rules in the 'eighties' were different from today.

Having tasted Nicky's amazing body already, I was naturally hopeful of enjoying a third helping that night and had brought condoms in case I got lucky. Nicky was as flirtatious as always, but to my severe disappointment, seemed more interested in one of my friends than in me.

At first, I felt intensely jealous and angry at having been brough there under false pretences, but all that changed when to my amazement, I saw my oldest female friend in a corner of the lounge.

Caroline!

She still had girl next door looked that she had always projected, but with a sharper, more experienced and yes, much sexier attitude that at first, made me do a quick double-take.

Her hair was the same colour but had a sheen I hadn't noticed before. Her face was the same; open and pretty but now her features were enhanced through more adventurous use of make-up. Her figure was still full and curvy, but now her legs, breasts and buttocks looked much more shapely, and were presented more prominently by the short skirt and high heeled boots she was wearing.

She hadn't seen me; being fully occupied trying to resist the clumsy attempts at seduction being inflicted on her by a short, round, very drunk young man. He had somehow managed to pin her in a corner and was talking to her earnestly, his face only inches from hers as he swayed unsteadily on his wobbly legs.

A little less unsteady than my rival, I homed in on her, in my mind like a Knight in Shining Armour to the rescue.

"Caroline! How ARE you?"

The look of surprise, delight and relief on my friend's face when she saw me made my heart leap. Pushing past her would-be seducer, she threw herself at me, flung her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately on the lips.

"Help! Get me away from him!" she croaked in my ear.

Putting my arms around her, I returned the embrace, fondling her buttocks ostentatiously in front of the short, round lothario for good measure then, smiling and apologising, let her lead me out of the lounge, through the kitchen and into the house's tiny back yard, gathering two large glasses of cheap red wine on the way.

"Thanks," she grinned when the noise was finally low enough to have some kind of conversation.

"You're welcome," I grinned back. "It's great to see you. What are you doing here?"

"Nicky's just transferred onto my course," she replied. "She invited us all. What are you doing here?"

For some reason, I didn't want Caroline to know about my two successful forays into her friend's knickers. Instead I said enough for her to infer that Nicky and I knew each through mutual friends.

I don't know whether it was my half inebriated state, Nicky's reputation, or the uncanny ability to see through me that Caroline had and still has, but the look on her face showed that she was in no doubt that my relationship with Nicky was as much physical as it was emotional.

Still, whatever the cause, she seemed unsurprised and unconcerned.

"I'm sorry about Annabel," she said quietly.

"It's okay," I replied. "I guess these things happen. How did you find out?"

"We met up over Christmas. Her new boyfriend was there too."

"What did you think of him?"

"He's rich and thick, but gorgeous. They're made for each other," she said bitterly.

"Shouldn't I be the one with the grudge?" I joked.

"I don't like you being hurt," she said with an honesty that made my heart thump.

There was a pause while we both took a long sip from our drinks. The music suddenly became louder; we moved closer together to try and make ourselves audible.

"How are things with Marcus?" I asked, anxious to divert the conversation from a painful subject.

"Don't you know?" she asked. "I thought you two were blood brothers."

"I've heard nothing for months," I told her honestly. "I just assumed you two were still..."

"Well we aren't," Caroline replied sharply.

"I'm sorry..." I began.

"It's okay. If you must know, I only visited him one weekend and that was last term. It was okay, but it's such a long journey. He never came down to London to see me, then he went to his parents for Christmas and... and didn't bother keeping in touch."

I could see tears welling up in her eyes as she added.

"He's moved on emotionally, even if he hasn't found someone else yet."

There was a sadness in her voice that made me sad too. She clearly still had strong feelings about him. We downed the rest of our drinks then I forced my way to the kitchen to refill them. When I returned, Caroline met me halfway.

"Come on," she grinned. "I need to cheer up. Let's dance a bit."

The house's living room was cramped and full, but by judicious use of elbows we forced our way into the gyrating throng, and began to move in time to the music, as much as the crush of bodies would allow.

After half a dozen songs had passed, we were both hot and sweaty and had been kneed and elbowed in every painful place on my body. Caroline grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled my head down towards hers.

"Get me out of here!" she yelled into my ear. "Please!"

Chapter Nine

We fought our way towards the door then rummaged through the shoulder high pile of coats until we had found my jumper and her jacket. Pulling them on, I made a series of hand gestured to the nearest of my friends to let him know I was leaving to walk Caroline home.

He made a series of crude gestures, suggesting what I might also do with my friend. I frowned at him then, taking her by the hand, stepped out into the North London night.

It wasn't particularly cold outside, but the contrast with the hot, steamy dance floor was marked. I could see Caroline shivering so slipped my arm around her shoulders to warm her up. She snuggled against me as we walked along street after street towards her own house, chatting about the old days, our old friends and from there, inevitably to what had happened since.

"I can't believe Marcus treated you like that," I sighed angrily. "Though to be honest, he seems to have dropped me too."

"I guess he's just someone for whom out of sight really does mean out of mind," she suggested.

Using the word 'whom' was very old-school Caroline. A warm glow began within me and I squeezed her affectionately.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked hesitantly, though I had already seen the pain in her eyes.

"A little," she replied. "But what about you? Annabel hasn't treated you any better."

"I'll get over it."

"Have you found someone else?" she asked quietly.

There was no way I was going to tell her about my one-night stands, any more than I was going to tell her about Nicky. And I most certainly wasn't going to mention the disgraceful way I had treated Rachel.

"No-one special," I replied. It was almost the truth. "How about you?"

"The same," she shrugged.

We crossed the street and turned into the road in which her house stood.

"Perhaps we should go out with each other," I said with a hollow laugh as we reached her front gate. "Seeing as nobody else seems to want us anymore."

It was intended as a joke, but Caroline seemed to take my words at face value. After a short pause, she looked up into my eyes quizzically.

"Are you asking me out?"

She cocked her head to one side and fixed me with those wonderful brown eyes.

This threw me for a moment. I hadn't intended to ask Caroline out, but now the idea had been raised; it didn't seem a bad idea at all. In fact, the more I thought about it, the better an idea it seemed.

"Yes, I suppose I am," I replied.

"I didn't think you liked me in that way," she said softly. "I didn't think I was your type; not after you and Annabel got together. I thought we were just good friends."

"We are good friends. But I do like you in that way too." I replied, realising for the first time the truth of my words. "I think I always have. And you're definitely my type. Definitely."

She looked surprised, but at least a little pleased too. Pressing my luck, I continued.

"Actually, I'd really like us to get together -- if you and Marcus really are as finished as me and Annabel."

Now it was her turn to think. I could see from her worried expression that she was agonising over the decision. My heart twisted in my chest and my breathing stopped as I waited for what I suddenly realised was going to be one of the most important announcements in my life.

"I think..." she began uncertainly, and my heart sank. "I think... I would like to go out with you," she said after what for me was an eternity. "Actually, I think I'd like it a lot."

"Really?"

"Really!"

The kiss that followed was one of the strangest of my life. At first, kissing the girl I had known so well and for so long, felt a little like kissing a sister, but after a few minutes of tentative pecking, our lips grew more used to each other, and our mouths began to mould together.

Before long, we were snogging as if our lives depended on it, and I realised I had in my hands a real, wonderfully sexual creature.

When she invited me in for a coffee my heart leapt.

It leapt higher an hour later when, my lips numb from kissing, she suggested I should stay the night.

Shortly after that, when I had stripped her soft, curvy body naked alongside her large double bed, and was gazing in awe at her full breasts, rounded hips and soft, sparse pubic hair, I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

But the real heaven was waiting for me a short while later when, on her back, with her soft legs spread wide and her brown eyes fixed firmly on mine, my painfully erect cock entered the sweet, moist, open body of the girl I had loved ever since I had first set eyes on her, so many years before.

The girl whose hand I had held while she lost her virginity to my best friend.

The girl who had been mine for less than an hour.

As our souls merged into one for the first time, Caroline's sweet body was as soft and welcoming as I had imagined. She was as sweet and fragrant as I had imagined too, but warmer and tighter than I had thought possible, her vagina moulding itself around my cock like a hand-made glove.

There was a pause as our bodies adjusted to each other's presence, our eyes still locked together, though both now hazy with lust. I could feel the tightness of her entrance around the base of my shaft and the pressure of her cervix against my swollen head.

I could feel her hips wriggling beneath mine as my cock settled into place deep within her, the walls of her darkest cavern gripping every ridge and furrow of my shaft.

With my head spinning, I began to thrust in and out of my closest female friend, first slowly, then with as long and slow a rhythm as my lust would allow. Caroline gasped, her hands balled into fists, her legs closing instinctively but ineffectively on my sides.

Inspired by the strength of her reaction, I began to thrust harder, with increasing pace and power. Minutes later, the heart-wrenching sounds I had heard so many times before, emerged from her sweet lips - for the first time, not as a result of Marcus' cock in her vagina, but of my own.

'Uh-uh-uh'

As I thrust into her over and over again, the sweet sounds grew stronger and louder and my own arousal rose to match.

'Uh-uh-uh'

Caroline's dark brown eyes remained locked onto mine, her familiar face on the white pillow, a picture of innocent loveliness. My heart was thumping, my mind spinning in disbelief as I slowly and with increasing confidence, fucked the girl I had sat next to in class for so many years.

'Uh-uh-uh-UHHH!'

A mischievous grin suddenly crossed her face, and I felt her vagina tighten hard around my cock, grip it for a moment, then suddenly release. It felt amazing; I looked down into her face in surprise.

"Oh my God! That was good!" I gasped in surprised delight.

"You like that?"

"Christ yes!"

With a twinkle in her eye, she did it again, then a third time, then gripped me tightly for a long time.