One Way to Graduate

Sitting alone, Nora tried to enjoy the music, moving her arm up and down in time to the beat, but of course it just hit the tabletop and pulled at the security tether in random intervals, loudly, awkwardly, drawing attention.

Vicky looked at her "dancing" in a strange way Nora couldn't interpret, and then walked off before she could ask for a drink.

"Yeah, I can't believe robot girl actually came!" Suzie said yet again, the two of them joined by more girls, one of which Ethan was eyeing to possibly dilute the drink she was pounding. Someone had bought a keg. Messy.

"Mhmm." Ethan muttered to entertain her, drowned out by the music. Suzie's whole vibe didn't sit well with him, and as often as he eyed the hallway back to his room, she tugged at his arm like a little girl who wanted a plush to hug. Deciding to be polite, he nodded and smiled at the inane conversation. He did not want to hurt her feelings, she was just young after all.

Eventually the topic turned back to Nora.

"Your sis is amazing, you know?" Suzie continued as Vicky burst past the douchebag-looking guy at the door and pushed the disabled girl in, settling her and her bulky wheelchair close to the music by the living room. "She's such a good soul. Doing her best to help Nora out in class, making sure she doesn't drool on her notebooks. Giving her a chance to be normal, even with everyone talking behind her back."

Trying to ignore the ingratiating girl, Ethan's eyes kept settling on Nora just sitting there in the corner, her arms... tied down? It didn't look precisely out of place, with all the other bracing, but he wondered why anyone would ever do that, until her arm banged on her tabletop twice, somewhat in time with the music, and Ethan could see her whole body convulsed as she did, totally tense and uncoordinated, before settling back down.

'Curious.'

Ethan knew Suzie was speaking, and what's more he knew he was staring impolitely, but in between polite nods he couldn't pull his eyes away.

The girl's face was clear of the acne of her classmates, yet slack-jawed, a twitching smile and roving jaw and tongue leaving it hard to read her expression. Yet Ethan looked from the straps and bars and braces and chair up to her eyes, and while they wandered a bit, they were clear, insecure, searching. She seemed to be alone in the living room, as the group had now been distracted by some guy's dancing. It's almost as if they had reformed their circle away from her, and Ethan suddenly noticed the kitchen, which had been empty when he was searching for a drink, was now loud and a bit crowded. Ethan looked back at Suzie, her baby blues on him as she flashed her most winning smile.

"You had it soooo lucky before they integrated the classes, Ethan, seriously!"

He couldn't believe where their conversation had ended up, distracted as he was, and his stomach sort of twisted, unable to hold back the filter any longer.

"You know how cruel you're being, don't you?"

Suzie and the other two girls just froze, their dumb smiles fading fast, and Ethan left the kitchen towards the living room -- or rather took two steps, before turning back to grab the pop and an extra glass from the cupboard.

Ethan strode into the living room, some of the high-schoolers giving him a few looks as he approached and crossed the seven degrees of ostracism around Nora's wheelchair. He was not too sure if she had noticed, with her eyes roaming about, her head moving from side to side in the cradle that held it in place, and her open mouth twitching, drool dripping down her chin like Suzie had mentioned so callously. He honestly had no idea what the girl's condition was yet, but from what he could surmise from Vicky and Suzie's complaining, he just had to imagine there was a normal, 18-year-old graduate inside that distorted body.

"Hey! Glad you could make it." Ethan said, trying not to speak down to the literally wheelchair-bound girl, but also trying not to sound like that one receptionist in every soulless company who was contractually obligated to speak to you. He shook himself out of his own head. "You want a drink? I got some orange soda, there's also cola, and probably some stuff I'd get jail time for mentioning." Ethan added with a chuckle.

Nora's eyes became clear as day, looking right at him, and the tips of her open mouth tensed up in a clumsy smile.

Chapter 3

"Nora's situation is complex."

That's what doctors and therapists had told her parents for years, and how they explained her condition to friends and family, ever since Nora was born under just-as-complex circumstances. It was easier to remember than the myriad terms and disclaimers and medical lingo which never quite described her anyways.

Even with the body parts she could assert control over, like her eyes; Nora only had intentional control, like when you think about breathing. When she unfocused, those eyes would wander, pull up or to the left, and her "lights would go out" as one conscripted assistant in 7th grade had called it. She remembered how that boy would snap in her face over and over, confident she had lost attention in class, while Nora was listening along to the teacher just fine. That was long before Nora could string together whole phrases for herself, or drive her own chair, so many people thought (and still did): if Nora couldn't control her eyes, or stop her arms swinging out, she surely couldn't make any other decisions for herself, could she?

Compared to the circle of scantily-dressed girls across the room dancing away, or the gang of guys laughing, chugging far from their first beers, Nora was quite new to making her own choices.

Now that she thought of it, tonight may have been the first night she could truly make her own choices, unfiltered by an attendant or her Mom, once her tablet started behaving again. She just needed some help to do so.

And so Nora "turned the lights on" as Ethan approached, making eye contact with the lanky-but-fit guy with the messy brown hair approaching her. Still her neck wasn't cooperating, pressing her cheek firmly into the left arm of her headrest, so Nora had to look at him out of the corner of her eye and force a flickering half smile onto her mouth, which was agape as always.

Nora eyed her screen with the greatest intensity she had ever mustered; she couldn't leave this guy waiting any more than necessary. Luckily, it behaved.

Ethan wasn't sure if he should be looking at Nora, or the monitor hanging in front of her, as she obviously struggled to reply. He thought about it again. She didn't seem to be struggling, per se; just focused. The process of using only her eyes to communicate, which was new to Ethan, simply took some time. It was... awkward. Just standing there, holding the drinks, Ethan made sure to smile at Nora periodically so she knew it was fine. He was compelled to fill in the blanks for her, but quickly decided that wouldn't help and waited for the pre-recorded voice of her big mounted tablet computer to answer.

A girl's voice, a bit younger-sounding than Nora looked, spoke up. "Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you-- Thank-- Soda Pop. Please!"

Nora flicked her eye at the orange bottle in Ethan's hand and back at him, and smiled her crooked smile again. 'Message sent, and received.'

Nodding, Ethan set the glass on a nearby end table and poured some bubbly orange soda in. He glanced over to Nora's hands, her wrists tethered to the center of her tabletop with maybe six inches of slack. They were wrapped in something similar to a wrist brace or splint, with fingers tightly curled around a fuzzy fabric palm pad. Her fingers themselves looked slight and smooth from disuse, and the way Nora's arms erratically moved, pulling at the tether or pushing at the plexiglass tabletop lazily but firmly, made Ethan realize she could not hold a drink, or anything.

"Uhm, can you uh... how do you...?" he stuttered, as it dawned on Ethan a glass container for Nora's drink was probably the dumbest choice possible.

Without warning, the smaller body of Ethan's sis butted in between the two. She snatched the glass out of his hand, plopped a straw in, and put it in a cup holder on the far edge of Nora's tabletop with a too-quick smile.

"There you go, Nora! This is fun, yeah?" Vicky said, almost like addressing a child, before she turned back at her brother with an expression that mixed anger, embarrassment and a death threat, all in one glare.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she breathed just under the blaring music, right up close, trying to overcome the height difference with some awkward f-bombs. "You said you'd stay in your room!! We had a deal! Suz is fucking crying and now you're trying to drown a..." she held back the c-word on the tip of her tongue.

Ethan took a deep breath before answering frankly. "Relax. I was just getting a drink. Besides, your friend here seemed kinda on her own so I was making sure she's comfortable."

He could not only see but practically hear Victoria roll her eyes at that. "You're being super dumb right now. Just get the fuck out. Nora's fine, see? She's having fun."

Ethan glanced down at Nora behind his sis, whose eyes were darting frantically between them, the glass out of her reach, and her tablet screen. "Well, maybe we can ask her," he said simply, knowing how the little control freak would love that.

"Nora, right?" he started. "I'm Ethan, Vicky's brother. You look pretty solo here, and... uhh..." Ethan paused. It was clear to him that no one else was going to even acknowledge the poor girl, especially if Vicky was acting like this, so he suggested more than he had ever planned to. "I'm playing some video games in my room if you wanna watch."

Nora's eyes flicked between the two siblings standing tall in front of her.

Vicky was being really weird all of a sudden. Nora had never seen her classmate as a source of bountiful patience or whatever, but Vicky was acting like she would have in the halls, when Cole or any of the other sporty guys saw the volunteer walking with a disabled girl to their next class. Every time, Vicky would drift off, or get really short with her or quiet. Of course, that jerk had been invited -- and greeted her with such charm -- along with a few others Nora knew Vicky was into, so Nora could only guess that Vicky would probably be acting like this all night!

It was becoming obvious to Nora her helper was incredibly embarrassed by her bulky chair, and the monotonous voice, and everything else. Far from surprising, it was a time-honored tradition at this point for people Nora considered 'friends', and that just depressed her...

And yet Vicky knew her. She wasn't a real caretaker, but she had known Nora needed a straw. Not to drink, of course. Nora couldn't even drink with a straw -- she would definitely choke -- but she was always excited to get a straw full of soda poured on her tongue, just to taste it. It was a perfect treat, and the rest would have to go in her feed line.

Oh god, Nora thought, I would have to show him my feed line!

This was all so complicated, and being given a choice like this, to stay at the party with girls her age, or go off with this cute boy Nora barely knew? Body tensing in stress, part of her wished her Mom was calling the shots again... until Nora recoiled internally at that reflex.

FUCK. NO.

This was her time to grow up and direct her own life!

Nora looked at her Dynavox and, with pre-compose turned off so she could speak quickly, she said, "That's nice. I would like to. Short break."

She glanced past Vicky to smile at her well-intentioned brother, but the princess just gasped, betrayed, and blew up at him!

"Stop it, you prick! You're messing with everything!" Vicky whined at Ethan, before she conspicuously realized she was drawing even more attention to them, and quieted her voice. "Ugh... fine!" she drilled her finger into Ethan's chest. "But if robot girl tells her mom she didn't have a good time, then you're paying for the fucking kegger!"

Nora froze, and even her body's subtle writhing stalled, all tense. She looked up at Vicky, then Ethan. Her mom had paid for the keg? Her mom had... paid Vicky... to invite her? Nora's heart sank, as the fragile fantasy of being just another normal teenager at a normal aftergrad party shattered to bits.

Everyone in the room was either staring or ignoring her.

'No one wants me here.' she thought. 'I should go home... I should call my... I should...'

Nora had no idea what to do, she was so hurt, and so indecisive, and so scared, and-- As her hands gripped the braces so hard she thought she would create diamonds, her strapped-down feet pulling, her body resisting her like it always did; Nora couldn't hold her voice back any longer.

"EEEEaaaaaaaAAAAAH!" she let out in a squealing cry of despair, tearful and angry at the one person here who she had trusted to care!

Chapter 4

Ethan was stunned by his sister.

Victoria -- with her finger poking his chest, telling him "how it is" -- was being incredibly difficult tonight, dense and shallow too, and Ethan couldn't help but think she seemed to be matching Suzie's casual bitchiness more and more every day. He had no doubt the group of friends she seemed desperate to impress were the center of it all.

High school was the fucking worst.

Ethan opened his mouth to tell her off before he heard an ear-piercing wail behind him, drawing the attention of every guest in the house. He bit his tongue, as it wasn't dissimilar to a small child throwing a tantrum between sobs, and Nora's face didn't look much prettier than one as she tensed and shook in her braces and bonds, absolutely distraught. The very drama he had wanted to avoid had rapidly escalated and Ethan knew he needed to take control of the situation, however he could.

Nora just wanted to yell at Vicky, but her voice -- her real voice -- barely cooperated, so she let herself cry; let herself scream out incoherently and ruin the picture-perfect party Vicky had arranged. Every eye was on Nora shaking and crying in her chair, but for once she didn't care one iota. She couldn't believe her Mom! She couldn't believe Vicky! 'How could they do this!? Without saying anything?! Anything!?'

But Ethan stepped in close, kneeled down, and locked eyes with Nora, his eyes, his calm assured voice, laissez-faire, who the fuck cares.

"Nora. Nora! Hey! Listen to me. Let's all calm down now, we're here to have fun, right? You're here, it doesn't matter why. You said you wanted to chill. Let's... cool off and uh... try to enjoy the night, okay? Ignore them. Pizza helps me whenever I'm angry, so maybe we can try that."

'Pizza helps me whenever I'm angry? What a line,' he kicked himself. It didn't matter. Ethan's face was more pleading than reassuring, but he tried to correct that.

Nora, pissed off, wanted to scream at Ethan, 'I can't even fucking eat pizza!' but she realized within two seconds that alienating the one person on her side, who was talking to her like a real person, wouldn't do any good. Sometimes she was glad to have a permanent filter on. Sometimes.

Ethan kept his breathing steady as he looked at her tear-streaked face and she seemed to focus on him in between whole-body sobs. He poured himself into that link they had, talking softly, "It's okay..." not daring to touch her, not even thinking about how her agitated squirming shook the chair much stronger than he ever expected, just focusing on her gaze as Nora slowly quieted, and her breathing slowed, and her face relaxed, crying softer now, looking at him between tense glances upward. He kept his eyes on her regardless. He wasn't asking her to forgive, but to ignore.

All Ethan had wanted was some peace and quiet and now here he was defusing a bomb. Or had he set it off? He sighed. Either way it was of his sister's making, and he had no words; playing with people like this shouldn't even need a lesson, it should have been learned long ago.

I guess this is just what happens at teenage parties.

Ethan considered pushing Nora towards his room but within a few seconds he clued in on how that could be misconstrued, both by others and her, so he preferred to allow her to decide, again. "We can go take a break, like you said, or," he added, "we can call your mom and I can make sure you get home."

Vicky stormed off, obviously more worried about the pressurized life of the party, even though that was already shot and flat. There was no way Ethan would be paying for their booze, but that was hardly important now.

Nora directed her teary eyes to the green "Yes" button on her screen. She wanted to go home, entirely overwhelmed with it all, but her eyes didn't track. The cameras were being thrown off by her tears, and she blinked rapidly, panicking, and only making it worse.

Somehow, Ethan recognized this, saw her terror, anger, frustration, and struggle all playing out in the subtle movements she could manage, and hesitantly grabbed the bib from under Nora's drooling mouth, lifted her wire-frame glasses, and dabbed her tear-stricken eyes, before wiping her messy chin and runny nose for good measure.

Nora was shocked. Not that being cared for was anything new: it was her whole life. There was no reason this should be significant, when she needed her chin wiped dozens of times a day, with her mouth so restless and unwilling to just close. It was normal-- or since that word was meaningless to her: it was necessary.

But his touch, that was new.

Nora almost couldn't believe herself as she finally typed, "No. Okay. Let's go. Soda Pop. And. Break." but was pleased with herself when Ethan smiled shyly, stood up and grabbed her glass, his, and the plastic bottle too.

"Come on, I have a game paused I'm sure you'll like seeing me die in," he said, urging her to follow.

Once he was confident the girl could drive herself, Ethan overheard Suzie trying to mend the situation with Vicky in the kitchen as he passed by. "Aww, your brother's so cute! Taking that load off your ass so you can hang out with us."

Simmering, Ethan kept the lead, but idly wondered if that girl was aware of how demeaning her words were, or if she was actually being sincerely clueless. He resisted the urge to glare at Suzie and his sister, not wanting to create more drama, as any worry he had caused this whole disaster simply evaporated. They were still being cruel, insensitive, playing with this poor girl. This had all been an inevitability, Ethan was just the lucky guy to set it all off.

Nora heard the girls too, but no snarky comments could be typed up while she focused on driving her chair behind Ethan without running into any furniture or walls. The pair went down the narrow hall, and Nora slowly realized she wasn't heading to a rec room or something, but his room.

Nora gulped, or tried, but the drool was already dripping again. She really wanted some of that orange soda...

Chapter 5

Ethan had to clear some space for Nora's chair to get into his room, having underestimated just how big it was; what with holding a young woman and her computer and all. Luckily there was plenty of open area in the middle -- he was too busy saving for his own place to fill it.

Nora drove in carefully, more used to wider ADA doorways, and once her eyes were free, she admired the angular posters of buildings and old maps meticulously scattered around Ethan's room. It was almost as big as hers, though it looked much bigger without the shelves and equipment and hoist lift and all. A haphazardly tidied queen bed took up the grand majority, but somehow it still looked smaller than her twin-size hospital bed. Once she was done gawking, Nora turned in place so she could face Ethan, who closed the door with a thud.