One Year

Author's notes: I don't know what this story will turn into by the time it is done but I'm excited to finally put it on paper. I was in my early 20s at the time, a single mom of two toddlers, and freshly divorced. My life was in pure chaos but I was finding myself and enjoying it. I had a 50 something friend at the time that had instructed me to get out of my box and enjoy the fantasies in my head for real. I loved him so much that I took his wisdom for gold. I did that exact thing for a little over a year. Of course, I don't remember every detail of the story so some will be fact and some will be fiction.

This day could not get any more infuriating. I think as I try to mop the floors of the convenience store in the dark. The lights have been off for about an hour for no apparent reason. It is hot, mid July, Texas heat. I am fuming but there is work that still has to be done. There will be no acceptable reason it isn't done to my manager when she comes in the morning. I have been assistant manager for about 6 months but I am held to the same standard as any other employee and I want to keep it that way.

The door dings and I look up. Two men walk in laughing and cutting up. The taller one is in here all the time. He's very plain almost on the ugly side. He has very pale skin, a long face, and extremely red hair. The other looks familiar but I can't pick from where. He is tall also, dark curly hair, tan skin, and a muscular build. They must be on a break from the tire shop up the street.

"The lights are off here, too?" the dark haired man yells out

"Absolutely not, the lights are working just fine. " I say sarcastically putting down the mop and moving to the front counter

I hear him laugh and say something else to his friend. I was not in the mood to play but the sarcasm I just couldn't help.

They walk to the front counter with lukewarm drinks and bags of chips. As I ring them up the dark haired man keeps eyeballing me. I look up and ask him what with my eyes.

"You don't recognize me, do you?" He asks

"Should I?" I respond feeling my body language become flirtatious

The way he was looking at me was like I didn't have any clothes on. We stare at each other for a few seconds as I feel the flirtation turn to heat. His dark skin and hair contrast nicely with his blue eyes. However, I still can't place his face.

"Let me jog your memory. I used to shave my hair completely and walk all over town before I got a car." He says animatedly

I still can't place him. I take their money and give the change. The red headed man walks out but dark hair stays. I walk from behind the counter to begin cleaning the coffee bar and setting up the coffee for the next day.

"Have a good day." I call out over my shoulder

However, he is right behind me.

"I've had a crush on you forever." He bends and talks into my ear. "I can't believe you don't recognize me."

"I've been married forever is probably why I didn't notice." I say naively

"Are you still married? Go out with me? I know you are divorced now, your mother told me." He says still talking into my ear

I could just move away from him. However, I don't want to. This level of attractiveness doesn't flirt with me. His air of confident flamboyance has me mentally leaning into him. All my alarms were sounding but none of then were hitting home enough for me to ignore him. It them hits me when I process his words about my mother telling him.

I swirl around and almost hit him in the face. His body inches from mine. I back into the counter and look up to speak "Stan?"

He grins a big beautiful smile that goes from his mouth, up his cheeks, and into his eyes "Yes!" he replies as he lightly touches my waist.

I recoil knowing that this man is danger. He knows my mother from the local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. This man could do me in. I had also had a big crush on him a few years ago. He moved away after he relapsed the last time. When he relapses it is bad, with a capital B. Everyone around him goes down with him.

He firmly places his hands on my hips and asks again "Go out with me, Tara?"

"Ok" I reply. The sex is why I say yes. The chemistry. The complete animalistic draw. I could care less about the other stuff. This man will just be a fuck. He will just be fun. What harm could come of it?

"Give me your phone." He orders

I do as I'm told and pull my phone out of my pocket and hand it to him. He hits several buttons, hands it back, and turns on his heels and leaves. "Ok, bye" he says as he waves happily

What the fuck? I think as I look into my phone. He had put his number in. I instantly send a text "What the fuck?"

"Text me when you get off, hot stuff." He replies back

I am reeling from the encounter. My body is tense from his touch, heart is racing, and my pussy is wet. I move around the store finishing up my next hour until I regulate. My relief gets there a little late. I impatiently wait for her to perform all the shift change duties. I text him as I'm waiting. I know I'm being a little too overzealous but God can anyone blame me. "I'm about to get off." I send

I do not hear back from him. No text. No call. Nothing for several days until he walks back into the store. Thank God the electricity is on at least. "Hey there, baby." He calls out flirtatiously as he walks back to the soda coolers.

"Hey yourself." I say annoyed

"Oh, don't be like that." He maintains the flirtatious tone

I walk to the back of the store in my best no nonsense way. "What the fuck, Stan?" I say as I put my hands on my hip.

He turns and looks me in the eyes. "Oh shit, I guess I've got some explaining to do?"

"You think?" I respond with my eyebrow cocked

He takes a steadying breath and speaks "I have a girlfriend. I wasn't thinking the other day when I asked you out. I'm so fucking attracted to you that I just didn't care. Well, until I walked out of the store and reality hit me."

I deflated and it was my turn to turn on my heels and walk away.

He follows me and catches up quickly, his stride comparably longer than mine. He swirls me around by my shoulders. "Let me finish." He exclaims

"Why? How the fuck do you ask someone out and forget you have a girlfriend. Damn it, I knew this was a mistake. I don't care. Just leave. Please" I say all in one breath. My heart rate at max level and blood rushing to my face.

He holds up his soda and chips "Am I just going to get these for free?" he says with a nervous grin

I walk to the counter silently and ring him up. He swipes his card. "Will you listen to what I have to say?" he asks

"Why should I?" I say. The counter between us giving me strength. I can officially say my feelings are hurt but I'm not going to tell him that. Hurting my feelings is the number one way to piss me off.

"I do have a girlfriend. However, she knows that I date other girls. We have an open relationship. The only rule is she has to know before I start dating someone else and I've been trying to find the right time to tell her about you." He says hurriedly

I roll my eyes and sigh deeply. "When will that be?" I ask

He shifts nervously on his feet, shrugs his shoulders, and once again turns on his heels. "Ok, bye." And leaves

I stand there shocked. I can't believe this is the way he leaves a conversation. I really don't know what to do except accept it. Girlfriend equals no go. Open relationship equals I don't fucking know. I have never been in this situation. I've only been divorced for 6 months. My experience is that of nothing with situations like this. I don't know whether to just jump and do it or back the fuck off.

I let it lie for several weeks. He has been in several times. We have flirted but nothing different than what I do with several other customers. It is innocent fun in my books. I accept it for what it is.

One day I go to leave work. As I am climbing into my beat up S10 pickup a black charger pulls up next to me. I hear the window roll down and a soft whistle comes from inside the car. I turn around against my better judgement and bend to look in. "Hey baby. Do you have plans tonight? Get in."

"No, and no thank you. I have a car." I answer

"Ok." Stan says. Rolls his window up and remains in the parked position.

I back out and so does he. I start my trip home and he follows. My stomach is in knots as he pulls in behind me at my one room efficiency apartment. My home is run down. It is literally a stand alone garage with a room at the top. I rented it from my best friend out of dire necessity the last time my ex left. The rent was doable so I accepted the rest. I kept the inside nice but there no way to avoid the state of the actual building. This made me nervous because I haven't had anyone in my home and I don't want him to judge me.

He pops out of his car and skips over to me. "Are you going to ask me up?" he asks signaling his head towards the stairs.

"No, sex." I order

"No, sex." he agrees with a grin

He takes two steps at a time as I take one. He waits at the landing for me to unlock the door. We walk into the cool dark room. I feel the calm of home wash over me as I take off my shoes. The only light in the room is the sun coming through the window above the one window unit next to my bed. I breathe in not knowing what to do with him now that we are out of the safety of the store.

He plops down on the end of the bed and pulls me to him. With him sitting we are at eye level. He places both hands on my ass and kisses me. Hot. Hard. His hands travel up to my waist and pulls my smock and shirt off at the same time. His hands move up my back and unclasps my bra. My brain keeps screaming "You said no sex!" My pussy does not care. I lean further into him. He throws my bra and starts on my pants. Before he gets them fully off his rough hands start mutilating my clit.

The pain from his hands knock me out of my haze. I back away slightly but not for long. He stands and pushes me onto the bed. I don't protest. I just don't have the words, experience, or want to object. He finishes taking off my pants and starts pulling off his clothes. He pulls me to the end of the bed and starts ferociously licking and sucking my pussy. It's too much. I back myself away from him. He pulls me back and resumes. I eventually adjust to the pain and begin responding to his mouth. His hands digging into my thighs. His nails raking down my torso. His mouth making my pussy beg for more. My hips are bucking into his face. Gyrating as harshly as his mouth is eating me. My hands tangle in his thick black curls.

I pull at his arms signaling him that I need him inside me. He doesn't waste any time standing. I get my first look at his cock. It is long. It is thick. The head is huge. I swallow. Fuck, what have I gotten myself into? I've never been with anyone this big. He pulls me further down the bed as he positions himself at my entrance.

He does the same as he did with eating me. He starts hard and fast. He does not give me time to adjust to his size before claiming my pussy. "Fuck, you are so tight." He says between clenched teeth.

He hits the deepest spots making me wreath in pain. I scoot my body further up the bed trying to get some distance to give myself time to adjust to his size and pace. He climbs up on the bed following me. He enters me again. "Slow down" I breathe out "Please"

He grins but does not oblige. "You will beg me to fuck you like this for a long time. Just get over it baby girl this pussy is now mine."

He fucks me like this until he was right. My body starts to love how hard it is. How painful it is. My hips move to meet his every thrust. My back arches. I am screaming and begging "Fuck me harder baby. Make me cum."

He thrusts into me a few more times until we both cum explosively.

He pulls out slowly with his eyes closed. "Damn, woman. I knew you were going to be good but you just took that fucking better than anyone I've ever had." He says

I smile sheepishly. Reality coming into view and self loathing slowly starts to set in. Enough of the ecstasy was still there that I was able to enjoy watching him get dressed. His body sculpted with muscles everywhere. His muscles weren't annoyingly big but he definitely had them. There was not an inch of fat other than his ass anywhere. His abs work as he gets his jeans back on and his back tenses as he pulls his shirt over his head. He sits at the end of the bed to slip on his shoes and stands again. "Ok, bye" he said as he turns and walks out of the door.

I lay there for several minutes numb from the abrupt leave. I feel used. I feel abandoned. I feel like I deserved it. This is what I'm good at. I let the air conditioner wash over my body until the cool air starts giving me goosebumps. I stand and continue my mental torture as I slip on my clothes and start to clean.

My boys are with their dad this week. This is the week I recoup and get things done. This is the week that I put together all my scrambled thoughts and then I go do this. Something that is going to make it worse. My phone dings from the floor. I pick it up, slide the phone open, and read his text.

"That was fun, baby girl. I'm sorry I had to run. I just get really awkward after those things. I'm not good at the mushy stuff after." He says

I look at the screen and don't know what to reply. Ding

"Quit being a slow texter and type back. I know you've read it." He sends again

"It's ok. It's just sex, right?" I send

"Exactly. Baby girl. Just sex" He replies in record time.

I put my phone on the end of the bed. I sigh. Just sex. You said it. I can do this. No emotions. I tell myself. Somehow the proclamation makes me feel better. Just sex, doesn't mean used. It puts a definition to what it is.

I resume my week. I do all my errands. I clean my house. I go to work as if nothing happened. However, my body starts aching for him again. It starts needing that kind of fucking. The pain. The ecstasy. The numbing of my thoughts.

As I left work and drove home at the end of the week I text him. "When are you coming over again?" I send

"I'm sitting at your house about to send you a text." He replies speedily

"OH!" I reply

I can feel my nerves jump up in my throat as I read and drive. Do I really want this again? My pussy says yes, harder this time. I laugh at myself and roll my eyes.

I pull into the drive. He doesn't even let me get out of my truck before assaulting my body and grabbing me from behind. Pulling his body into me. Biting at my neck. Talking in my ear. I push into him. My body already shaking and begging for release.

"Wait!" I say. My mind is revolting against my body.

"I thought we were going to go out." I ask

"Just sex, remember?" he says as his eyes get darker

I remember and I cower. He begins again and I don't stop him. His want is stronger than my protests. My body and want let him win.

We somehow make it up the stairs and into the room. He's taking off his clothes as I take off mine. "God, I love those tits." He says as he grabs them and squeezes harshly. He bites down on one nipple and makes me scream. He pulls me to him by his grasps on my breasts. My face crinkles with the pain but my back arches into him.

He steps back. Let's go of my breasts and pushes me down to his rock hard cock. "Open your mouth." He hisses out

I do as I'm told. He puts his cock in my mouth. He tangles his fingers in my hair and fucks into me. His cock goes deeply into the back of my throat. I pull away. "You're too big." I protest

"No, I'm not! Relax. Take that cock." He says heated

After I take him again he starts pushing harder. Forcing my throat to open and take him. I place my hand at the end of his shaft to give him more room. I can't maintain the deepness. He moans as I start moving my hand with his thrusts. I fondle his balls and feel my wetness between my thighs. My hips start rocking needing to feel this fullness inside me.

"Yes, baby girl. You want this cock fucking you like a slut don't you?" He asks between pumps

I look up into his eyes and plead. He pulls me up with his tangled hands by my hair. He removes his hands and pulls me to his mouth as he consumes me in a kiss.

He walks me backwards to the bed and I fall. He places my feet on his shoulders and enters me hard. However, this time was not hard and fast. It was hard and slow. With each jolting thrust he hits my base. He has me screaming for more within seconds. He's so deep I can feel him in my belly. He releases my legs and let's them wrap around his waist as he lays on top of me. This pace is slower but makes my body respond more intensely. I wrap my arms around his shoulders pulling him closer to me. I relish in his heat and hardness of his body against mine. He's at my ear talking to me softly. "God, I've missed you. I've almost come over here every day. I know I have to restrain myself. I can't fall in love with you." He whispers

My body responds to his words and gentle thrusts. His hands are at my hips digging his nails into me. He continues to whispers "I want you to be mine. This pussy is mine. You feel so good wrapped around my cock." My body tenses. My pussy clenches. My orgasm begins to climb.

"Don't stop." I plead

"I want you to be my dirty whore. No one else. This pussy was made for me. Cum for me. Yes, baby there it is. Fuck that cock." He whispers

My head is spinning in bliss as his words and cock undo me. He stands again and starts pushing into me hard. He pulls me nearly off the bed as my orgasm climbs with him. His head shoots backwards and he screams out as he pumps his cum deeply inside me. I can feel his release against my cervix as I buck up to him to finish.

He places me back onto the bed. He starts to get dressed when I say "Don't leave like last time. Lay with me for a second." I say quietly

"I can't baby girl. I have to pick her boys up from school." He continues to dress as I watch

"Ok, bye" he sings out as he closes the door behind him

I lay there once again but numb from all the emotions from his words. Does he even know what the fuck he's doing to me? Is he playing with me? What the fuck am I doing?

I get up and get ready to go get my boys. I have no room for all these thoughts but they consume me until I go into mommy mode.

During this week he actually texts me consistently in the evenings. We would text for a few hours every evening until he would just disappear. Then the next evening the same thing.

The next several months went like this. He knew when I had my boys. He knew my general work schedule. He always just showed up unannounced. He either fucked so hard I couldn't feel anything after or talked me softly into an emotional wreck. Weirdly enough I became addicted to it all. I adjusted. I craved how it seemed to help me cope.

My life became a wreck but started evening off. I couldn't handle the financial load of being single. I decided to move into an income based apartment. Life moved into a routine. Weeks with my boys and weeks fucking Stan while I was juggling all the things inside my head. The semester started. I went back to school. I worked 60 hour weeks. I was living my best life.

I drive to my new apartment hoping he's there and wishing he's not. My phone dings "Where the fuck are you? You've been off for 30 minutes?" he says

"On my way. Chill the fuck out." I reply

I pull into the parking lot and he skips to me. He swoops me up into his arms and gives me a big closed mouth kiss. This is new I think to myself. He puts me down and holds my hand up the stairs and to my door. Another new thing. I'm suspicious but not enough to ask questions.

We walk down my hall and into my living room. He plops down on the couch and leans back getting comfortable like he is here everyday. I eye him but continue to not ask. "Come sit with me." He says joyfully