All Comments on 'Only in the Nicest of Homes'

Okay. Now we know your characters at least the main ones. Good start

Chapter numbers belong in the title to indicate it is not a complete story, NOT in the story!

So, where is the action???????????????

Nice build up and interesting story but at times you’re too descriptive. Also you tend to over use and. Commas or forming a new sentence could be an alternative. And should not be used 5 times in one sentence.

Nice start, I am looking forward to learning more about the characters and seeing where this leads. Do not worry about the grammar police, keep writing for your (and our) enjoyment.

This is quite possibly the best example of rambling I've ever experienced. Add to that the fact that the"author" is completely clueless about tense, and doesn't care enough about his own writing to even glance through it before posting makes for a read that so far fails at approaching the bar of lackluster.

1 star is generous.

I liked it a lot – and you didn’t use “and” excessively and certainly not 5 times. I can’t wait for the story to unfold.

I like the way your story is starting off. Don't worry too much about the grammar police. Maybe you can get someone to do a little proof reading for you. Now it's time for a new installment. It's not nice to leave your audience hanging when the plot is just beginning to appear.