Only to Find Some Peace of Mind Pt. 01

You know what it's like to go 100 days without having a wank? It was something that somebody of a form suggested when I was bored on night online. This person said that after a week, your need seems to dissipate but its hell to get there. They were not wrong; I have always been curious about sex even after they day I lost my virginity 10 years ago now. Now at 28 all I have is sex on the brain whilst only being able to focus on anything else only partially, even putting my reservations about food on notice.

Life had resolved into nothing but a series of just getting through from day to day. With no partner or fuck buddy of any kind at my disposal I just had to find ways to occupy my time. Reading, cleaning, memorising news broadcasts from day to day just to keep my mind off from sex. By the sixth day, I had reservations about doing any work on the weekend but instead would work out so furiously just so I could relieve myself of this built-up stress.

One weekend later where I burnt of a whole McDonald's plantation of calories, I came back to work feeling just a wee bit shaged out. Though not that kind of shagged that I wanted. Though it seemed to have done some good as my mind had been rid of sex for a good ten days. For the most part, most of my free time was dedicated to working out as much as I could just to crave my carnal desires. Though admittedly it was a long and laborious process altogether, once I reported back to the forum after a few weeks and said that I was almost drooling with the thought that with my improved body, that I could pick up any hot you stud I wanted and go to town on his booty.

Many on the forum seemed to like the thought that my balls were swelling up with the anticipation to explode in gooey, white, stuff. I must admit now before I go any further that after reading some of these responses, I began to stiffen up for about the second time that day though eventually I stopped touching it and eventually even stopped learning to look at it. A few more weeks of this mental preparation and I will not even get hard so easily.

A month later I was doing everything in my power to stay of the internet as much as possible just to keep myself on the straight and narrow. In actually took me a back for about the first three days to just how much I got myself into my work. I even got into talking to a lot of my colleagues and even on at least one occasion did I realise just how many younger people there were in the office, those skirts are getting too short and those trousers are getting way to tight. Even my own eyes seem to be swaying from side to side, attached to either giant swinging boobs, tightly compacted cocks and balls, and goodness knows what else! Even though I fought long and hard, emphasis on 'hard', to keep my mind off them and instead just converse on purely platonic terms. I then later discovered, far too late but there you go that sometimes to score a goal you just have to play the game according to the rules. I say this because after six weeks into my embargo one of my co-workers, a woman called Molly aged forty with a disgruntled husband and two young kids. She began talking to me with a much wider smile than I have known her for months since working here. Call it being friendly but I think, just somehow that Molly was a little bit keener to see me than I had anticipated.

Then there's the question of Jake. Dear god what a cutie! Short and very skinny, possibly because all the weight in his body seems to be in his two bubbly buttocks of his. How a man of twenty-one can have such a body like that is one for the ages, the top half of a ballerina, the bottom of a prize-winning stallion. How much of that weight went into his penis is only a guess but because of how tight his damn trousers were, you could even see how perfectly formed his thighs were! Jesus Christ, I hope they were smooth!

Just before I go boss eyed thinking about both molly and Jake, one plump and matured, the other juicy and full of young meat. Jake seemed just so eager to talk to me and like any good co-worker was very supportive and friendly to everyone, he was just like some innocent little kid who brought smiles to everyone's day. Possibly, maybe just possibly that it was all a ruse and Jake was not as innocent as he acted, possibly due to his lower body but I'm not going to be seen a s a cradle rocker, despite being legal he still looks like he would be better than someone like me.

For some time afterwards, I wondered whether or not I should disclose to both Molly and Jake about my embargo. Though this idea did not go very far as I wouldn't possibly think they would talk to me much longer after that, not in the work place at least.

After 50 days, I went back onto the forum to talk about my progress and something I wanted to disclose.

"My testicles have been growing in size at an experiential rate. Before my embargo, my balls were roughly the size of grapes and here, we are seven plus weeks later and they have become the size of tennis balls. If I still had the weight on my legs, it would make walking very difficult without the fear of crushing or grinding them to pulp. I have these two co-workers at work that I like a lot since getting to know them better over the last few months. One is an older woman and the other is a younger guy. I feel like just putting my penis to good use in both of them right now! Though I am trying my absolute hardest to hold back my urges and take things slowly, though im not quite sure if I am bisexual since I liked women and had two previous girlfriends in my past. Maybe it's just because the dude has a very plump, almost womanly body from the waist downwards. Is that a good enough reason to have sex with a man? Actually, he may still be a virgin. Now I'm conflicted about that very thought. I mean taking away somebodies' innocence, their first time. Either I make it special or just encourage him to stay away and I to do the same. Then of course there's the older woman at work. Now understand that I have been in two relationships in the past but that doesn't mean that I haven't been with women (nudge, nudge) and I think that this woman looks more like the sort I would be with because she was my type both physically and mentally. Moreover, I feel like from what I have overheard from her that her marriage is on the rocks and maybe she would see me as a rebound deal, fine by me if the arrangement is platonic, I don't really like having relationships with people who already have kids. Though I suspect she is looking at me like that would be unlikely, ah well, you can't win um' all. I suppose I will just have to wait or at least see how this all plays out."

Many people on the forum pointed out that if my testicals were relay as big as I had claimed then I might have a suspected tumour in my balls if they grew to this size. This was the one comment on the thread of my post that made me see a doctor the next day, after what I can only describe as a fairly uncomfortable explanation to my manager. Though my manager was an understandable and reasonable man so he said that he wouldn't spill any beans in the office, besides, I suppose he would have been up for libel or preach of privacy for something like that.

At the doctor's after dropping my trousers for the first time in years to another person, the doctor in his latex gloves for the purpose (hopefully not for any sexual gratification of any sort, though you don't know with some people these days). After a few moments of deliberation, the doctor came back with the news that I indeed had no tumours of any sort in my testicles and that they were just in his words, 'abnormally big.'

"However, Mr. London, I must ask you this again, are you certain you have not taken any enhancement drugs such as, Clomid per chance? Even maybe something that somebody slipped into your drink or food?"

"No, like I said, the only thing I have done is not masturbate for the last seven weeks."

The Doctor was like before a little unconvinced at this. he said that it was very unnatural for a person to have testicles swollen in this manner over a short period of time.

The Doctor said as far as I could remember, if you feel that this starts to cause you any physical distress. Any sign of strain on my penis, groin, crotch or even if walking becomes diabolical.

Considering how the whole examination only took about a number of minutes, I decided to return to work that afternoon. Or under the pretext to collect some things from my desk. It would be interesting to see how Molly or Jake would react to see if they were as interested as I first imagined and as it happened, I was allowed to return to work and the reception was very well received from molly who sat on the desk immediately to my right.

"Paul! I didn't expect you to be back so soon!"

Exclaimed Molly, her face full of jubilation.

"Wait you knew?"

I said, turning to face Molly's warm and inviting face. She had her hair the colour of grain in a ponytail. Though one that I can say I would love to ride alright.

"Knew what? All I saw was you leaving with your stuff after taking to Jeff. Everything ok?"

I'll say this about Molly, you could tell her for a mother just by hearing her talk. It made me feel a tad guilty for thinking about her as horse flesh as it were.

"Oh, oh yes! Everything's ok. It was something that I hadn't considered before but no, nothing wrong. For the moment."

It wasn't the wisest thing I could have said as it was bound to lead to questions and the dilemma of whether to lie to Molly or reveal something a tad personal and not normally said to females. Much to my relief, Molly decided not to follow this up and we got on with work like any ordinary day. Unfortunately, I have this bad habit of developing an outbreak of sweat on my back which causes my shirt to stick to my back, practically leaking the colours of the shirt onto it. Though the conversation ended long before things became awkward.

Later that afternoon, I went to use the urinal in the men's facilities when I happened to run into Jake as he was making his way as well to the Gent's. he nearly made me shoot my bolt just by watching him walk. I could just feel his cheeks 'bouncing' in his tight pants, not even sure if he even wears underwear Despite my self-control, I knew that I would need to give the old fellow some room to breathe. I got to the urinal and un-zipped my trousers just in time but kind of relieved to focus on putting my mind at rest as I emptied my kidney's. After washing my hands, I turned back around and scuffed my feet against something. Somebodies shoes were sticking out from underneath the cubicle stall. There came a slight yelp from inside.

"is everything ok in there, Jake?"

I sort of recognised his voice, a slightly higher pitch to mine.

"Yes, Paul everything's ok."

Said Jake rather quickly.

"I heard you went to the doctor's today. Is everything ok?"

"Forget that, what exactly are you doing in there Jake?"

The stall opened and I saw something I thought that I would never have expected.

"Jake, is that a tape measure?"

Jake, embarrassed responding in the best tone he could muster.

"Yes, it is."

His blue, boyish eyes looked guilty as sin.

"What exactly do you have a tape measure for?"

I asked, slightly confused.

"Promise you won't tell anyone Paul, please."

Inside, a hideous smirk was emerging that spelt, trouble. I had Jake right where I wanted him.

"I'll..."

But before I could say anything, Jake stretched out an arm and pulled me into the cubicle and shut the door behind him.

Being so close together, almost face to face forced Jake to back up against the wall and he pulled a face that made his open his eyes so wide that they almost popped out of his head. Looking almost into his eyes, I wondered just what on earth the problem was. At any other time, I would have run for the hills if someone dragged me into a stall but Jake's eyes were so captivating and my pants were already pitching up that I had to focus on priorities and calming myself down. For all I know, Jake might scream for help. After all, he looked like a squealer.

"The hell is all this about?"

I hissed.

Jake raised his hand with the tape measure. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught something fleshy and pick close to the wall. Almost at the very sight of it, my mouth almost began to fill up with drool ready to overflow out of my mouth like a waterfall. It was unmistakeably his butt. In the flesh and within such a short distance away from my arms, I could do just about whatever I wanted with. Then my mind began to add up some crucial details.

"Jake? Are you measuring your arse?"

I asked in a slow, softer tone. Jake had turned away; bless his heart he was too embarrassed to look me in the face. At this point another though occurred to me that eliminated all others.

'What the hell was I doing?'

Stuck here in a cubicle with a child, a twenty-one-year-old child. And here I was a man in his late twenties thinking about impregnating his peach of an arse as though- no. I couldn't, the thought of him didn't even make me feel aroused anymore. No not anymore, I couldn't stand it. Molly, Jake, everything. The hell did was I thinking in changing myself for the better, who am I kidding here? My dick really does do all my thinking, my last girlfriend said so myself when she said the only reason, I got into work in the first place was to earn to hold onto her arse and fill her with money and my eight-inch tool.

"Paul?"

Jake looked back at me looking a little less embarrassed and asked in full earnest at me.

"Jake! My god, I'm, I'm sorry."

I felt my face become agitated and I only caught on that I must have looked hideous in front of innocent Jake.

"Mind if we do this elsewhere?"

Asked Jake sweetly.

"Indeed, but Jake."

I replied composing myself.

"Yes?"

"Pull your pants up."

About thirty minutes I sat at the staff's break room and stirred my tea for what felt like an hour until Jake arrived looking full of jubilation and smiles all round.

"This seat taken?"

Asked Jake bending slightly over the table.

"Go ahead."

I was almost too embarrassed to look at him. The way he was bending over that table was almost too noticeable to be misunderstood. Jake was definitely gay, or extremely cocky in his own body. Not too sure If I could say the same. Jake sat down and our conversation took place but since there were people in the room have low conversations themselves, we took care to act as though we were not talking to each other by avoiding eye-contact. Not that there was anything wrong with being gay but some of the staff were more keen with using the, 'Nancy boy' label than should be used i.e., not at all.

By the time they had gone, Jake and I were able to actually look at each other and Jake managed to explain himself in some detail.

"I knew for a while now exactly what sort of body I wanted ever since I had my eye of somebody before coming here. and that mostly consisted of making my butt as best I wanted it too. Long story short, he only made me want to look as he wanted too..."

"So, your still obsessed about it, though aren't you? Hence the tape measure."

Though it didn't necessarily need to be said, both myself and Jake knew this was the truth.

"Why?"

I then asked.

"Because I feel pretty damn sexy knowing that people are looking at me for who I am and nothing else. don't think I haven't seen you staring at my backside as well. Even in the cubicle I knew you were looking."

The shoe was definitely on the other foot now. Now I was the one who was embarrassed because it was true.

"I'll be honest, with you Jake. I have been looking. Your right there."

I said, this time I was the one who couldn't bear to look him in the face, not even if Jake's arse was right in front on my eyes. Jakes eyes on the other hand conveyed neither interest nor surprise but only acknowledgement to hear myself admit to prying eyes.

"Paul, ask me honestly..."

But that got no closer because somebody else had just came into the room.

"Oh! Jake, just the person I needed to see. Somebody made a giant mess at the front door that you will need to see to before we open up again."

Jake, not needing to be asked twice, possibly not even once. Poor boy, I knew just what he was going to admit, I don't even think he truly acknowledged what Molly had said to him. I also don't think it occurred to Jake that he got up and ran out of the room, in the process his buttocks bounced in his tight pants as though inviting myself to run after him, fling him into the gents and unload my cum right into him and probably coat the whole cubicle in white, man, goo.

I thought about other details long before I even realised that Molly was sitting in front of me. With her boobs practically in my face.

"I heard a rumour between you and that Jake kid."

My mind froze.

"What?"

I asked almost spitting the word out.

"Jake having some kind of physical discomforts and you overheard him doing something. Was that what you were just talking about."

"No, we were just talking about, sports."

This was a calculated risk, it seemed like the sort of thing that blokes talk about generally, even and especially to those who know nothing about sports. Molly however was not convinced.

"I don't think Jake is playing sports, I think he's on the game."

"I highly doubt Jake is a prostitute."

"His arse is fatter than anyone else I know. If I had to guess he probably tempts a lot of the wrong crowd. He even looks like a prostitute when I walked in and then-"

I couldn't help but wonder just what Molly was getting at. Here she was talking very brazenly about Jake's backside and trying to imply I was involved in all of this. Yes it was true that I went into the same stall as him but we talked in confidence, nothing else. Why was this her business anyway?

"Best not to mention It to him, I don't think he will take too kindly to being called a prostitute."

"Fair enough, I suppose."

But I was not convinced that this was all that Molly had to say. Or if there was some proof that. No, Jake couldn't be a prostitute. The thought was beyond ridiculous. Wasn't it? Molly left a few moments later no sooner than she had arrived.

It was getting dark outside and I had decided barring my boss's advice to do overtime work for missing out on those few hours this morning. It was the first time in possibly two years since I last did overtime work since I knew Jake would still be here until 19:00, it was 17:45 which meant there was a great opportunity to talk without being interrupted. I had nothing better to think about for most of that afternoon to be totally honest, it also took great strength of will to force my penis to stay soft.

Eventually after remembering that I actually had some balls and decided to actually talk to Jake. I needed to stick to my gut and forget about sex for an hour. However, after looking for Jake for about ten minutes I couldn't find him, fairly useful in a way since it meant that I now no longer had a reason to stay at work and left within' minutes.

By the time I got home again, I went onto Reddit. To write this post.

"I'm losing my mind about putting my dick into two people. Both are my co-workers, one male, one female."

The next morning, I woke up to find 26 messages on my phone mostly containing rather useless comments as to be expected but a few contained far more useful comments:

"Are you perhaps bi-sexual? Cause it sounds as if based on what you have been saying, your obviously making comments about how you are attracted to both sexes. Though are you friends with these workers? Or is this only about sex? make your intentions clear before you act upon them."

I liked this one, it seemed the one that was most rational and logical. Then just before I went to take a shower, I got a text message from Molly of all people.