by surprisinglykinky22
Great way to close a deal. Many deals have been closed over a washing machine.
The line "I usually watch porn late at night" made the story totally unbelievable from that point on. As if a 19 year old girl would EVER say that by "accident." It would have been better if she said it in a calculating way in order to get a response, but the whole giggling embarrassment thing just didn't work.
the female character was just too far from any credibility. Not a bad story if you make her 24, maybe. Also, instead of her being shy and giggly, she should be more intentional and use her sexuality to get what she wants.
The story was fun, almost like it was written by Sarahh. The author may have just been silly on purpose. Another interpretation that would explain issues raised by the other reviewers is that the author is really an older male!
That was an incredibly hot story, too hot to worry about details and realism. I hope you've got some a few more in you.
Ok, maybe I liked it because I am a 53-yo professional man and would love a sexy young woman to come onto me that way! So shoot me. LOL
The whole point is that she is calculating and gets her way untill meeting Colton, he does something to her that throws her totaly off balance and her lust takes over.
Besides, the beuty of fiction is it is not reality.
You don't think there's really a Jack Ryan superman out there somewhere?
the story line might not be at all believable, unless the realtor investor's last name was Hilton. But the building up of the lust was hot making it a real nice bate story for a first time writer. Congrats!