Option #1 or #2?

"Mrs. Watson mentioned that you have a list of questions for me next session."

"That's correct, will that be a problem?"

"No, but can you tell me what questions you have?" ... "You can ask them now, if you want ... I'll be honest."

"I'm sure you can guess." I said.

"ok, please don't forget that you once loved me." she whispered

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't still Kari!" ... "but you broke my trust ... that's one thing I'm not sure we can get back."

"JT and I ate earlier, if you want to warm something up." I told her

"No, thanks, I don't have an appetite." she stated as she got up and went to her room.

The rest of the week was more of the same. Quiet. We just stumbled through our days and nights.

No one was speaking, and there was still a lot of sadness and tears

Wednesday: Session 2 (both of us)

I had gotten a call back for the interview and was flown down for the day to meet everyone. They wanted me to stay and I declined telling them that I had a little one to get home to, so I flew back that same day. I rolled in late and Kari was sitting on the couch, crying and had several crumpled tissues littered around her.

"You're really late." she stated

"Yep, a real shit-show today."

"Why didn't you let me know?" she asked

"I'm sorry, I'm not use to giving that consideration to roommates. But I will the next time it happens."

She sobbed. She also noticed I was dressed better than usual.

"Were you on ... a ... a date?"

"WHAT!?" I growled.

"I'm not the one who broke our vows!" I said a little quieter.

She sobbed harder; her insecurities showed more than I have ever seen them before.

It broke my heart.

She broke my heart.

"We had execs from corporate onsite today and I had to look presentable." I lied, then just turned, and went downstairs. Our joint session was coming on Wednesday and I sat down to prepare the questions I had for her. We contacted Kari's mom to watch JT and asked her to keep him overnight and get him to pre-school.

Kari had told her everything, so she was very sympathetic and happy we were seeking help.

We both had a feeling this was going to be a long and rough night.

"Ok, Dean, you said you had some questions for Kari? ... The floor is yours." Mrs. Watson announced to us both. "Just remember to be civil and that you are both here because you love each other."

"Yes ma'am." I stated as I bore holes through Kari sitting across from me.

"I want short and precise answers. I don't need you to go into details ... ready?" I asked. You could tell she was nervous and fidgeting in her seat.

"Yes."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, very much!"

"Short answers please." I stated feeling myself sliding back into my cop interviewing days and she could feel it. My stare was blank, and my tone was flat. I worked hard to keep my emotions out of my voice.

"Do you love him?"

"No."

"What did he give you that I failed to supply?" this question stunned her, you could tell, and she started to sweat.

I don't think she expected this line of questioning.

" I .. uh ... you have given me everything I have ever needed ... he didn't compare to you." she answered.

"That can't be true. If it were, you would had never felt the need to find whatever it was from another man." I said flatly.

"Please don't be mad, but ..." she trailed off

"I'm not mad Kari ... I'm pissed off! Hurt, and greatly disappointed in you ... but, .... Please ... go on."

"It .. It's just that we fell into a rut. It was exciting to be wanted again .. I .. I guess."

It was my turn to sit stunned for a minute. I've always believed it was the man's role to lead the family. That meant meeting the entire family's needs. It never occurred to me that Kari needed to be chased.

Seduced by me.

I thought that just telling her I loved her was enough. But I guess I left a gap in the fence and a coyote got in. I wasn't really mad at either of them, I felt it was my responsibility to make sure she was happy.

I guess I failed. Tears formed in my eyes.

"I .. I ...I'm .." I stuttered ... "I'm sorry I failed your Kar. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do. You are my light, my heart and my soul. ...I failed at being a good husband." my face dropped into my hands as I lightly cried.

Both Kari and Mrs. Watson sucked in deeply and held their breaths. Neither of them expected for me to accept the blame for her actions. Even though it was her that cheated it was I who broke our vows first by not giving her what she needed.

By not treasuring her.

Not protecting her from those who would take advantage.

The room was deathly silent, except for my soft sobs. Suddenly, I was hit with a force that damn near knocked me out of my chair.

It was Kari.

She wrapped me into her arms, and we sobbed together. She slid down to the floor at my feet as we held each other's hands and portions of our arms. After a few minutes, our heaving and crying slowed, and we looked at each other.

"You've never failed at anything in your life Dean. You didn't fail me, or JT. Ever."

"Then how could you disrespect me so badly? In our home... In our bed?"

"I don't know why." she answered. More sniffling and tears.

"I think that's something we need to figure out then ..." I said softly.

We sat quietly for a few minutes, holding each other's hands.

"What other questions for Kari do you have, Dean?" Mrs. Watson broke in.

"Is there anything you want to tell me? Anything else I need to know?"

"Yes." Kari answered ... "I don't want to hurt you anymore Dean, but I feel I should tell you the rest."

"Ok, go ahead." I said as I steeled myself for her to expose more of my failures.

"He was a temporary instructor at the Yoga Spot, and he flirted with us all and made us feel special. He found he could prey on married women who had been married for a while because no relationship is perfect. I wasn't the only one who fell into his trap."

"it was a total of three times and that was the only one at our house, I know that doesn't mean much. But I think it might mean something to you."

"He wasn't 'bigger' or 'better' than you. In fact, he could never hold candle to you. He isn't half the man you are baby."

"He was simply different. He added a spark, he flirted and made me feel like I was wanted again" she paused, and I started to breathe heavy again "and because of his flirtations and affairs, Jane fired him the day after I told her that you caught us. I know that doesn't make a difference to you. I just thought you should know. I haven't seen him since that day either."

"I know I fucked up Dean. I also know you could have hurt us both really badly, physically if you wanted. Your control and restraint are some of the rarest qualities in men today. I can't tell you how sorry I am that I tested you."

"But what hurts the most, is how I crushed you ... you have always been the strongest man I've ever known. Hell, you didn't even cry at your father's funeral but when I saw you sitting in your chair that day crying, I realized how badly I fucked up. When I looked into your eyes and saw nothing but blank darkness ... I mean ... your eyes have always brought so much joy to me. How they sparkle when you're happy or how they are dull when you're sad. I can always tell your mood by just looking into your eyes. But, when I looked into your eyes that day, I saw nothing. No hate. No fear. No rage. Just blankness and that scared me more than any threat of physical harm ever could. That's also when I knew I had done the one thing that we could never recover from."

"But, if you will allow me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to put that sparkle back." she finished.

"We are almost out of time. Dean, would you like to keep the other sessions on the books and see what we can figure out?" Mrs. Watson asked.

I looked at her with bloodshot eyes. "Yes, please."

There was no conversation on the ride back to back to Kari's. I was drained as well as she was. I now understood why she was so wiped last week.

Upon entering her house, I just turned and went downstairs, exhausted. I sat on the couch and laid down without even taking my clothes off.

I woke the next morning and felt crushed a little. As I opened my eyes, I realized that Kari had come down during the night and snuggled into me. My arm was draped over her and her head rested on the other. She was so peaceful and perfect as she slept there. I liked having her body next to me. I pulled her in a little closer until my alarm startled both of us a little later. She sat up and looked at me as I turned it off.

"I'm sorry." she stated sleepily "I just needed to feel you next to me again. I miss this so much."

I got up from behind her and I looked down at her. I touched her cheek with the back of my hand , "It was nice. I've missed it too." I grabbed my stuff and went into the downstairs bathroom as she got up and moved back to her room, it was still too damn early for her.

And way too early for any deep discussions or fighting.

The following weeks:

We continued the sessions each week, I was offered the job in Texas and accepted it with a 23% pay increase. I brought flowers home and asked her out on a date or two. Just dinner or cocktails. Nothing sexual, just small get togethers to reconnect and each ended with a light goodnight kiss at the door. I started leaving small post-it notes around the house telling her how special she was. I was timid with the 'love' word, I felt I needed to make sure the timing was right for that. She snuck downstairs a couple nights a week and slept with me on the couch.

That was one rule I didn't want to enforce.

It was the week of our final session and 3 weeks before I was due in Texas. I called my lawyer and started the preparations for the last bit of business that needed to be conducted.

My instructions were to write up two proposals: the first being divorce papers that gave Kari everything including full custody of JT. Of course, I had exceptions for visitations both here and for him to travel to Texas. A little boy needs his mother and I couldn't do that to either of them. I asked for just enough to help set me up in Texas with an apartment and my truck as well as a few personal items. I told him to not file or serve her, that I would be doing that myself. The second contract was a list of expectations if she chose to continue with me and I attached the following summary in a letter to her:

My darling Kari,

I love you more today than I have ever loved you. You and JT are my heart and soul and I would be lost without you. But I need a new start. A fresh place that doesn't have this pain attached to it. I have accepted a position in our Texas facility, and they expect me to join the team in 3 weeks.

I want you to come with me to get that fresh start. A place that people do not know what we have been through. A place that won't remind us of this time in our lives. I want to grow old with you and watch our children and grandchildren grow around us.

But, if you are not able to do that, I understand. I know I'm asking you to make such a tremendous life choice without any notice. I realize how unfair this is and no, it is not a test to see if you really love me. I will understand if option 1 is the better choice for you and JT.

In the attached contract you will see some clauses that have to be met before we move on.

1. We renew our vows within 90 days.
2. I chase you and try to win your love every day.
3. You work every day to put that sparkle back into my eyes.
4. No lies.
5. When I fail to be the man you need, you tell me.
6. When you fail to be the woman I need, I tell you.
7. We have more children when you feel it's time.
8. We continue counselling for at least 1 year.

This is a contract between you and I, it is binding and we will both sign it. My signature is already at the bottom.

Love forever and always, Dean.

I made sure that Kari had that Friday afternoon off and JT was at her mother's, so we had some alone time to discuss our future after our last session. She had no idea what I was planning. I was sick with fear, but if I didn't do this, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Friday @ noon:

Kari was sitting at the kitchen table when I entered her house, she was nervous but smiled anyway. Her attention drifted towards the two manila envelopes I had in my hands. One was marked with 'Option #1' the other 'Option #2'.

"Kari, I love you. I would like to continue our life together, but I have options for you. You need to read them both. One is divorce papers the other is a contract on how we will move forward." I said with a cracking voice.

She started to speak, and I held up my hand to stop her.

"Please let me finish, I will be moving out of this house. I have movers coming Monday to pack. You have until Sunday at noon to let me know if they are just packing my stuff or if they are packing our home"

I could see the confusion and fear on her face and in her eyes.

It's the same look she had when I refused her advances last week.

I wanted her so bad. I wanted to fuck her, at least one last time.

I needed to wait to make sure she didn't sway my decision with good sex.

"Please read them both completely. Take the weekend to review your options. Talk with your folks or whomever you need to make sure you understand what's happening."

"Just know that I won't think less of you if you cannot meet my demands. You must do what is best for you and JT." Finally, I told her "I'm going to spend the weekend out at the lake and will be back Sunday at noon to see what you have decided." I turned and left her with her options on the table.

Lake:

I arrived out at the lake, nervous and anxious. It was up to her now. My path is set and I'm ready to live with the consequences of those actions.

I start straightening up and packing things around the trailer. Either way, it was to be sold and since I needed to keep busy, I felt this was the best use of my time. I grilled a nice steak, had a few beers and moved inside.

I was startled by sliding gravel, I looked at the clock and it was just after 9pm. I looked out the window to see Kari jumping out of her Rav. I stood up to head to the door fearing an emergency or worse, that she had chosen Option 1. I never figured she would be this quick with her decision.

The floor flung open and she stormed into the trailer.

"That is a fucked-up thing you did to me!" she yelled at me.

Her body slammed into mine and we both fell onto the pullout that I had prepared for tonight. Her lips where hungry and they searched out mine.

"What are you doing?" I asked, and she responded, "shut up and fuck me!"

In no time we were naked rolling around on the bed. I reached down to find her soaking and ready, she took my cock into her mouth and sucked me so hard.

I laid her out on the bed, and just stared at that perfect tight body. My lust grew, I controlled it for so long that I didn't want to anymore.

We fucked.

I fucked her harder than I ever had before.

I was reclaiming my woman.

We went doggy, missionary and she rode me like a rodeo star. I lost count how many times she orgasmed, and I knew I had cum three times as the night turned into morning. We took the 7 weeks of frustration out on each other, over and over again.

We dozed off sometime around 4am only to be awoken by the sun shining into the window. I pulled her up against me, kissed her and rolled her over onto her back.

"2." she said. "I choose option 2, you asshole! I'm never going to let anything between us gain."

I smiled at her, "Damn, I love you so much Kari!"

Conclusion:

We made love for the first time in a long time that Saturday afternoon, we picked up JT from her mom's as we went back into town.

I burned the divorce papers.

I delivered the signed contract to the lawyer.

We started sorting the keep from the no keep items around the house and started to pack the important fragile things.

We met the movers on Monday. Kari organized the moving.

She received permission to continue her remote working from Texas. She said a teary good-bye to the staff at the Yoga Spot.

The house and lake property went up for sale.

A car hauler picked up the Rav and sent it on its way.

We slept downstairs on an air mattress until it was time to leave.

As we drove an overpacked truck out of the driveway, I flipped off that worthless mattress, box spring, headboard and bed frame piled on the curb.