All Comments on 'Orc Harem Ch. 04'

Great buildup.

I hate cliffhangers, even if I think I know the outcome. Good story tho.

CH 5 please

Very good. Though Sayla needs a clip round the ear here. I imagine he'll be in hot water for the tourney as well - that must be a bit of a blow! Eager for the next part - great series!

I like your work so far keep it up

Could we have the rest of the series asap thank you

Nicely done. Good dialogue and emotional connection. Could use some more world building. The reader doesn’t know what obstacles there are to overcome, i.e. adam’s family, where he falls into society, laws of the land, and the Sam on the orc side.

Sayla still has not explained why she chose to jump into the tournament instead of just walking up to Jen and telling her that she’s going to test his warrior abilities.

What is the fallout from the school going to be? This was, to my view, an intramural sporting event. If he’s representing his school, then I’m sure they would like a word with him about what happened.

What was Adam studying? What did he see himself doing in 5 years before learning what Jen wanted from him? How will his family react to this news? Will they support him or cut him off? Or will they be split on the issue?

While adam may have the basic idea of what Jen wants from him, the reality is he has no understanding of what reality is to be an orc chieftain. During his time thinking about this , will he look into what the role of clan chieftain is? And what information will the humans have on it anyway? This could be a way for him to see just how much humans don’t understand about orca, which could allow you to develop more drama and obstacles for the story.

Good luck and thanks for sharing your story

Really loving the story and the details. Looking forward to more.

These are the kind of stories I look for.

A great story so far, looking forward to more

Disagreeing with the rest of commenters.

Despite the so called urgency of the Orc clan. This story has been way to slow paced and overly focused on two characters. I mean hello the series is titled "Orc Harem", and not the romantic adventures of a 1 human and 1 orc woman.

Also, Jen is acting nothing like a Orc woman, and is instead acting like a human that has Orc physical features instead. Which is stupid in my opinion, because it is just way to weird trying to humanize an Orc. Now small amounts of humanization is fine and refreshing when done correctly, but I just do not feel like it was done correctly with Jen

Please advance this story and give all of the other women equal development, otherwise this series is a 1.5 out of 5.

I'm really enjoying the build up on this one and hope you finish the series. The way you're casually world building as it becomes relevant works well for the story, and the bits of humor have been a lot of fun. I look forward to when your story progresses to his interactions with the clan and the trials he must face with them to earn his spot as chieftain.

While I see that some folks don't appreciate the focus on Adam and Jen, I find it nice that the story has anchored to a core pair of characters. We got a bit of personality from the other Orcs at the front end, and now I suspect they will each be spotlighted for further segments. It is nice to get to know the ladies as well as Adam.

You lost me with this one. Dude has been lied to, sh*t tested for undisclosed reasons, and ambushed with a weak offer and empty flattery and big fluttering eyes from a very not orcish Orc. His year of effort and training, to say nothing of his wins on the day of the tournament have been put to waste by another Orc who couldn't wait another day to 'test' him. Her defiance is constantly insulting, given he didn't just fend her off he completely stonewalled her with nothing but his shield. He so outclassed her in combat skill that even with two weapons in her hands he never had to use his own blade and didn't get so much as a scratch on his armor and she's still defiantly, arrogantly staring at him because his anger is... soft. He's soft. He's a full-blown simp who can't stay angry because his girl got the slightest bit weepy and her sister is moderately hot. At the height of his anger he... bought them dinner. This had a promising start but I think trying to make the protagonist non-toxic ruined the narrative and intent.

I hope you have more coming '

I agree with a previous reviewer. It was interesting until this chapter and it went down hill extremely fast. Sorry but I won't be continuing. The whole story is about the Ork clan wanting a STRONG man. This chapter turns him into a simp.