All Comments on 'O'Scouries Valentines Day Wife'

Uh . . . I mean O'Scouries! Cute. You have inspired me once again. Now I'm in the mood to write a Loving Wives story. If you win the contest, I'm going to delete all my stories, and leave this site forever.

Beyond good writing technique the story was not coherent I just did not buy these relations; did not get a handle on the characters and finally the ending was forced per the completion I assume. With your writing skills I see no problem in providing an ace next though.

Nice story with some interesting twists. Don, for christ sake: hire a nurse to take care that you get your medication on time (maybe you can even make here preggers) Ohh, I forgot that's a job you can't do yourself also.

Regards Umberto

the narrator is

You did this surprise story very, very, well! I thought I knew what the end would be and then you shifted it on me about 180 degrees! WELL DONE!

This is a Valentines day entry? The it deserves the zero vote

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If you are going to get them into a tryst again, she was never really married to him, you are going to have to change the altitude you have created toward her. Great sex is not enough to hold her. She would scare me as she exposes herself, and her family, to STDs.

Ending felt incomplete, to many loose ends. Even after the divorce, he kinda wimped out. I'm sure he'll keep her around as more than just a fuck buddy, which in this case is less than satisfactory.

I loved the story. The dialogue and storyline are first rate. Then, there's the description. Meaty, loaded with detail and imagery. Excellent, well done. Your work reads like a mini-novel. Only, I'm not sure how much this has to do with Valentine's Day. Nonetheless, it's always a pleasure to read a story that is so professionally written.

"O'Scouries..." lol, funny.

Would you please consider an additional chapter where the rapist Father gets his just reward. At least that is what I got from the story.

There were way too many untied ends.<BR>

And I noticed one of the comments mentioned character development - well, for me there was so little the story almost folded in on itself.<BR>

What were we told (or shown) about the wife? What were we told(or shown) about the husband?<BR>

The only person we got any real insight to was the father. <BR>

Nope, sorry, this pig didn't fly for me. The dates were buggered-up, and the idea that someone could have casual sex with 88 different men in the 90s and early 2000s and never once get any diseases is quite frankly unbelievable - especially when she obviously picked up men on any whim. Besides which we are given no insight at all into why she acted as she did.

Well, maybe not, but a damn good read otherwise. Like Risq, I believe I know what Vol 1 would have revealed, so perhaps (if we're right) that might explain her sluttiness. I've read that such behavior often comes about from incest, w/ her father molesting her. But, overall, I liked it, I liked the ending unlike some others, although I wonder (like others) why he would take a chance w/ in particular Aids, let alone any other STD. So thanks, you got my vote, and my "atta-boy" for what that's worth to you.

"COCKSUCKER," Reggie hissed at my retreating back. <p>

I turned back slowly, pierced him with a stare for seconds before saying, "Reggie, if you touch either of those two girls I'll cut your prick off and shove it down your throat." Then I walked out of the room. <p>

+++++++++++++++++ <p>

I love most of Scouries stories; but this one, I didn't read. Wow, "Paddy" sounds like he just got out of the NAVY SEALS or some other even more secretive/deadly military organization.... <p>

Was Reggie the DNA-father of "real father Paddy's" two gurls? <p>

So, at the end, the two girls mother, his former wife Victoria, shows up at his door and he opens it and pulls her in and before she knows it, he big hard dick is inside her, eh? <p>

"How often do you tend to drop by like this, Victoria?", real father Paddy asks after they fucked. <p>

"Oh, let me think about it," Victoria says,,,, "But, you know, honey, I am still horny like hell... after what we just did, and that's AFTER I've fucked 5 other men, with hardly any time to douche, too!" <p>

It's fuckin' romantic, leaving your sweetheart all broken and sad and horny during Valentine like that. And he's goona deny hir two "real daughters" his love? Man, what a cold-hearted bastard is this Paddy Scoury guy? <p>

LOL

If I was only rating this on quality of writing I'd probably give it 100, however its supposedly a valentine's day entry and I found that this story did nothing for me when it comes to romance and love which are supposedly the two elements of the day.............

when you add in the fact that I found Victoria to be completely unsympathetic and stupid. So stupid that I had to question just how she got into college, although the diary indicating that she fucked her professors suggests how she passed classes..............

and I couldn't find the hero much better. How could he not notice that she was sleeping around? And why even consider taking her back. Yes the sex is good, but she's got less loyalty than benedict arnold. She could have told him, or warned him before, but instead slept around and even wrote about it and rated her partners. Why would you want someone like that back?..........

The characters have to be ones I can relate to in order for me to rate it higher. It was a good story, but the poor plot development and plastic characters made it impossible to rate higher.

Didn't anyone else notice that the author screwed up the dates of the diary entries? The first entry was 1993; the next two, including the one where Patrick lost his virginity, were dated 2007.

I think it's very believable that 2 such passionate people would still fall into each other's arms even after a bitter divorce. My only fault with the narrator's actions was that, after learning Vikki's father had raped her, he didn't investigate whether the scumbag had also raped the teenage girls. Even though Patrick wasn't their father, he loved them so much I can't imagine he wouldn't have done more to protect them.

I don't remember reading any of your previous work, but I am going right now to check out your other stories. Thanks for an exciting story in what has become a lifeless category recently.

I don't object to Patrick ripping off a piece at the end - just a freebe and by that point it doesn't matter (he's not taking her back, he's just using her). To me the kids being a product of deliberate incest is the depressing part, and with no negative consequences at all for slime-ball Reggie. Would have been a much stronger story if they'd have gone to trial, although the 2 girls would be needlessly hurt in that event.

No you did not cave. There is nothing wrong with getting some from an ex, and he is the only DADDY the girls have known.

Thank you for the entertainment and the story.

Mike from Texas

well done story rated on top but flat closing

I agree with Harry, it was good until the end and then he caved in like a wimp. Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out. I only arrange the meetings.

I wanna know what is written in the first volume. I don't know why, but he fucking her again after the divorce didn't enrage me like it would. I bet because he isn't heart-sickened like how other authors portray these betrayed husbands.

I'm not surprised to find the commentary from "the usual suspects" in these 'cheating' Loving Wife stories. Although I doubt I would ever stay with an untrue wife (I've never been tested on this); I VERY often suspect in many of these cases that they are males who are immature and/or have never 'truly' loved a real woman. Women who act out sexually as she did usually have problems dating back to their relationship to their father....with lack of attention/approval this can be as "minor" as an eating disorder and/or all kinds of sexual problems, and all the way up to being suicidal; especially if the relationship was sexual (as this one surely was). If you've seen the movie 'Chinatown', you may recall she referred to her daughter as "my daughter, my sister" Not that it matters, I think that with possible counseling, they might have a relationship or even marriage since it's likely that she couldn't help or restrain herself. I also enjoyed that you added (with the 'possibility' of another '100') something at the end that is usually missing in these stories and (unfortunately) in the world today in general...since the advent of extreme feminism...that every woman needs to have some aspect of 'mystery' to her personality to be at all sexy. Sexiness is found in that which is NOT seen, but left to the imagination. I hope to be reading more of your work soon. _ Budd

She got pregnant by her father? Twice? Somehow that speaks to me of collusion. Was that the price she paid to marry him? She couldn't have his children?<p>

She has sex with 88 men after they are married? And how many more while they were dating? She has casual sex with pickups like the barman? What diseases is she potentially infecting him with? Oh yeah, she "really" loves him.<p>

And he still has sex with her? Does he have a death wish? Move on, idiot. She was never faithful to you. Never intended to have your children. She is a cheat and a liar and betrayed you as badly as a woman can betray a man. It's not too late to find a woman that will love you and actually bear you your "own" children.

I think you left us hanging but thanks for sharing.

Thanks for writing!

When I finnish a story I vote how I feel. I thought you developed the chactors enough to support the story. I appreciate your sense of justice. The irony that they wanted money from him - the supposed gold digger.

High Regards: Cthru

This story is nearly perfect. What it need for perfection is a second chapter. This appears to be a continuation-type story.

I found O'Scouries' story interesting to the point of not being able to finish reading it non-strop, cleverly prepared, and believable.

It is refreshing to have a new, top-notch writer post his work in "Loving Wives" where, as of late, I have noted a decline in the number of stories by top authors. RAG

I can't believe you ended it there, but I think I know who the father is of the girls. Thanks

You had me... right up until the end. He knew Months ago she was a SERIAL cheater; Planned for months & left her on Valentines day.

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after all that... Why fuck her again? His entire marriage & fatherhood is fake.

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Did she love him or his 100 rating? isnt he the least bit concerned he might have a STD given his wife is such a ravenous whore?

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The way this guy is developed I cant see how he would fuck her again knowing his daughters are not his and that she is STILL fucking other men.

give you a 100 because there is no clue what her motivation was to be and to do what she had done, including the risk of having somebody else's baby. the rest, apart from the last fuck (she not worth it to die, living in time of aids and her never using anything otherwise no babies)is splendid, if there is a next chapter. otherwise its just unfinished.

As a self-proclaimed author of erotica, I have to commend you on a well-rounded, can't-put-down story. The story line continuously moved along and the characters were developed just enough to make the reader aware of who and what each might be without boring the reader with unnecessary detail. I definitely have to read more of your work!!!

<p>Personally I thought you did a pretty good job of writing the story. It made me laugh, I found myself doing what the characters did right before I read it (What three??, Eighty Eight??) I thought that was pretty good, it made me feel like I was sitting there with the character when they went through what they found out.</p>

<p>I even liked the fact that he wasn't sitting there feeling bad enough for himself that he didn't even <i>try</i> to date other women. And while I didn't like the ending where he and the wife seem to be back in each others arms, I do recognize that there is a history of love and mutual attraction on both of their parts, and that doesn't go away over night.</p>

<p>In all I thought it was done extremely well. Thanks for the good read.</p>

-Risq

As long as he knows that she will screw anything with a dick I hope they live happily ever after probably with him eating cream pies even if does not know it.

Wow Jim, when you give us a cheating wife you certainly do an outstanding job of it! I would like to hear her side of the story since you didn't paint her as a complete monster. Pete

No way in hell a woman can be that sexually active with unprotected sex and not have had a variety of very interesting infections and diseases. I wonder how she got hubby to get treated without him knowing what was going on. The daughters were not his problem, they never were, she was just a fucking slut. To bad he didnt grow up after the divorce. For that I lowered your score.

liked it alot,same as with most all your stories

hope there is a follow up

This story was overwritten in some places; in others, we were left trying to divine the writer's intentions with too little information. I don’t have a clue why some writers always make their characters richer than the Kennedy clan but I’m sick of it. From here on out, every story with characters who are more than comfortable will be marked down for that reason alone. The action in this story was implausible and unsupported by any foundation or build up. The punctuation was barely adequate, but the writer doesn’t have any idea how punctuation can help the flow of the story. The writer’s grammar was adequate, but any writer who can’t capitalize “God” gets an immediate down mark. In short, this story was superficial and largely unemotional. If it were a report in your local newspaper, it would be fine--but for a fictional account of a tremendously emotional event in a family’s life, it barely passes the lowest standards.

its entertaining. could have more emotions but it works.

I think the writer is way overated, I really did'nt enjoy this

He deserved some terrible punishment for raping and impregnating his own daughter.

I loved the characters and the story. Thanks for your words and time you put into it.

Excellent story. Please write a follow-up from the wife's point of view. Was I right in thinking the wife's father is the real father of the children?

If the wife is the victim of incest, it would be a good resolution to have her go into therapy and perhaps rebuild her marriage. Incest, in the real world, can be very damaging for the whole of a person's life. Sex life of the couple was good, so perhaps the cheating was due to a mental problem.

I was enjoying the story until he screws her after he knows what a whore she is. Hellooo, what is he fucking crazy. 88 men screwed her so she must have a variety of std s. This chick never loved him. Screwing after knowing in the eyes of the law is forgiving her. This dog don't hunt. Luis

what with chip on your back?cool out and enjoy the comments.stop trying to goat people into a fight.you're a hero on this site to your fans.

Loved it ;;;;;Excellent;;;;

You are not British are you? I saw nothing in your story to indicate that you enjoyed being humiliated. Your prick isn't three inches and leaking and immediately gets hard (raging) when your wife mentions another man ...like for instance (the mailman brought this today). I have gotten where I don't even click on to certain writers that are like the above. I can't stand wimps. I respect a man that gets bloodied and looses a fight more than I respect a man who has his feet frozen or ejaculates when he sees his wife fucking another man. Hope to read more by you. I see that you write mostly incest, which is why I've never clicked you.marriedwithballs@yahoo.com

I loved the story line and it was really well written. Not quite at the same level in terms of conveying emotions, but a good read.

Thanks for writing and submitting.

Very intense,hope he moves on. Thanks!