All Comments on 'Otaku Cousins Pt. 01'

too simple

Worthy of a next chapter but you need to work on correct dialogue.

I may be wrong but I sense English is not your first language. There are a lot of awkward turns of phrase and a few missing words. Proof reading your own work is seldom productive as you read what you meant to write, not what you did write so there are missing words here and there. Find a proof reader and editor please

I almost stopped reading after the third paragraph. Word choice throughout the entire essay was very poor. Do not get me wrong, the story has potential. Get a good proofreader or editor to go over your work before submitting. At least, wait a few hours and reread what you have written before you post it. DO NOT rely solely on spell check. Homonyms are a killer even for some native English speaking people. Misuse of then and than was one confusion of homonyms that I noticed. Them and then was another mistake I noticed. I could go on and on but I think you probably understand what I am trying to convey to you. Keep writing and good luck.

Can’t wait for the next chapter,