All Comments on 'Our Shared Bathroom Ch. 06'

This is the finest kind of erotica. Any twit with half a mind can write porn. But this story is not just about sex; this is true literary erotica.

And the shower scene - it is so beautiful. You made it come alive. I could visualize everything that went on there. And you fleshed out the soulful love and agony so well.

Damn, know what you have done. You have reminded me of my love for my sister. We love each other so much and yet are miles away, visiting maybe once a year. If I had read your stories earlier, I might have been inspired to open up to her and make love to her like your characters do. I will never be able to do that now.

Thanks for a great story.

A beautifly written story. You could feel the love between Mark and Jen leap off the page. And the sex was hot and lovely too. A great effort

liked the shower episode

How could you get off on fucking your brother or sister? Do you all do incest or something?

Wow that is one of the most hot and sexual charged story I have ever read. Please give us more........

'and we became one' blah blah blah. reading porn can convey some of the excitement of sex, but this kind of writing does not convey the feelings of love. it's trite and cliched.

This story could not be any more well written, the words simply bring the story to life. Loved it :)

That was beautiful! So very loving.

We nearly ran to each other and embraced passionately. We were choking back sobs as we held each other and ran our hands over each other. We kissed, then kept kissing, and our hands wound up around our necks and held our heads closer together as we gasped and sobbed into the other's lips.

im still crying

I could not believe it, it was beautiful and amazing. I loved it I actually cried.

you've got a good style, story and characters here. Please expand and tell us more....it's quite good!

Wonderful is all I can say!! Your stories are so life-like and heart felt that you think you are reading a true story. Cant wait to read ch 7

TOok Me a coupLe oF hrS. To ReaD aLL 6 chaPteRs, buT I abSolUteLy LoVeD iTt...[[iT Gave Me buTTerfLies]] ★★★★★

Very well written. Keep up your story telling and keep it coming. I really enjoyed reading this storie, and I'm 68 years old.

Keep your story straight. learn how to keep things in context.

soo sweet Now I see where you were going but to get there they had more will than I. At there age I was ready to go 5 times a nite. So they have more control than me or slower libido. But I do like the romantic aspects and now they understand the depth of there love and what it means. Time to make a plan 4 the future most likely move far away. Thanks for your hard work.

A really cool story and well written. Your good at telling the story. I hope you continue to write.

despite chapter 5.5 i love this series so far

very hot,,,love and sex the way life should be,,,,should have stopped here and forget ch 7..

This story series was good until this one .... this just doesn't makes sense .. i find it funny to be really going almost all the way & then think of stopping when they had took it way too far to even mention of stopping ...... even when have the approval of their parents ... still backing off .

& also the male characteristic from the past episodes & this episode doesn't match at all which is quite sad .

This part was great when the father said ..

"A lot of people see sex as the ultimate expression of love. But those people also say that love has to fit inside the tiny box of rules they've made up. That's never made sense to your mother and I. Love happens. Whether you're ready for it or not. You're mom and I are married because we love each other and want to live with each other for the rest of our lives. You and Jen love each other as brother and sister. You're also a guy and a girl and I don't see anything unnatural that you guys feel comfortable enough with each other to be intimate. It's a lot safer than fooling around with people you hardly know!"

& this actually makes some sense

& I really mean it .. the words actually speak something that some of us never even thought about but still makes sense & they are absolutely true .

But this part doesn't makes any sense at all

"I couldn't love you any more than I do right now, but we both know we can't build a life together like we were married. I...I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't rob you of the joy of meeting someone else that you really love, getting married to him and having kids with him."

"There's just something different about it, and I know you know it too. There's something good about leaving your family and starting a family of your own. And if we did that together, we wouldn't grow like we should, and we'd be hurting each other in a way."

This is total bull ... doesn't makes any sense at all other than words from some immature teenager perhaps ( even though I personally think teenagers would know better too .. this is just too immature .. thought it was meant to bring out the passion ... but that's for mostly the people who are frustrated about love but the characteristics of the male character seemed much mature than that )

& there is the interesting part as i said the past series were good & this one isn't , is also cause the characteristic of the guy here doesn't match at all with the characteristic of the guy from the past series ..... it can represent a frustrated teenager perhaps ... but seeing as the male character is 20 & from the past episodes .. way more mature , this episode is a total fail i have to say .

Some people liked some didn't. I love all that has been written but this was deeper much deeper. I could actually feel the turmoil in Mark, and when he and Jen met together I felt it...the end of the turmoil ...the pain...and the realization of a true love, not just fun and games anymore. So in one word...WOW!

The storyline itself was fantastic. This chapter does a good job of showing both of their internal conflicts. You show Mark's by telling the story through his mind, and you show Jen's by external reactions, both of which help us to understand how difficult a relationship like this can be.

Now, as for the writing itself...

I did feel that it was rather cliched. "Becoming one" and "I was her's and she was mine," both are cliches for a reason, they're good, but I feel that you are too talented to use old cliches and the story could have been better if you had created your own terminology.

It shows a great deal of skill and restraint to be able to go from lust-filled stories to a deeper, more emotionally involved one. You show a level of maturity in making this into a love story (not just a lust story) and it shows through your characters.

All-in-all I feel that you are a terrific writer and this story is an excellent example of that. Please continue.

Nice story, well written, but too much fluff, a lot of sentimental stuff that does not make much sense and does not add anything to story, including a couple of whole chapters but nothing that some editing won't fix

It is a good story, well narrated, despite some shortcomings, but a good example that a good writer should know where to stop, you should have stopped at chapter 3

The rest of the story simply does not make much sense, it's not plausible, does not add much to the whole and the internal conflict sounds really artificial(seriously, after outing the whole deal to their parents he has second thoughts?? and btw, the parental units are just unbelievable in thier reaction, but lets say we buy that)

Nothing after that chapter makes much sense, but that is what a good editor is for!

Don't listen to what the people said about this chapter saying you shouldn't have written it! THIS IS THE BEST ONE I'VE READ YET(I sean yet because I have not finished the story)! I felt every thing that Mark and Jen felt,the sadness,the guilt,everything! This is best writing I've read so far on this site so far!

Iv just read all six chapters and thought it was one of the nicest stories iv read for a while.Sex,passion and love are here for all to see and i cant wait to read further chapters.

The story seems to be back on track after the dip in chapter 4. I like Mark's hesitation and I like that you put him as a good guy. However, we are yet to see why Jen has no qualms about the relationship and seems to be pushing it. May be a bit of background like she has always admired her big brother or something.

You have good writing skill. I will check out your other stories now.

Your series on this issue of true Brother/Sister love is the best I've ever followed. I love it here to chapter six so much. I like to read about true love between a Brother/Sister, it is an outlet for me as society has forced me to suppress my own issues. A truely great writter will tackel an issue because it has to be disscussed and ignore the call of society to stand with the suppressed status qoute. Here is your chance to help those Brothe/Sister couples that truely love each other and are scared to death about how to proceed. I encourage you to keep it as real as you can to stick with true love. I think you should also cosider how they decide to proceed considering the law. I believe in the State on NJ USA a Brother/Sister can live together as long as there is no prove they are having sex. Your challenge here should be how can I make it better for a real Brother/Sister couple to proceed.

When a guy takes a woman's virginity, that seals him to her for life. Giving this useless vermin James the chance to have sex with her on a date after the man who loves her and took her innocence sealed himself to her, is unthinkable. There can be NO OTHER MEN OR WOMEN after that, ever. Even more unthinkable, and I fear you did not outline this clearly, is whether or not she let that loser come inside her. The only sperm that should ever be shot inside her is that of the man who took her virginity. And the thought of another man's DNA inside her while her brother made love to her, ugh. Revolting. I hope against all hope that you intended to say that she only walked around, or slept by James' side all night with no sex involved. But then you say that she felt like she had betrayed her brother. So did she and James have sex on that five in the morning date, or not? That is my question, and an answer would be nice. If they did, it must be edited. That would be an intolerable infraction. Thanks for a great story though.

Very good. I have to agree with one of the comments from a reader CH4 was a tad frivilous compared to the rest of the chapters. It would appear that a great deal of the story was well thought out.

This has been one of the best stories that I have read so far.

I think you may do well if you ventured into novel writing. You have demonstrated in these stories that you can write, now you just need to plot a story line in perhaps in a different direction.

The very best of luck to you.

Len

These two characters are sooo marvelous together. I would appreciate at least one more chapter just to bring it home and illustrate how they manage together for the rest of their lives. Excellent. I'm in love with Jen myself. :-)

This whole series was fantastic. Not only was it extremely well-written, but it left me wanting more. This is perhaps the best series I've ever read! Keep it up and I hope to see Part 7!

That was a really good story Top Marks

I could not stop reading it

Thank you

I've actually read the next and final chapter as well, but I'm going to pretend that this is the end of the story, because everything just went downhill in the next chapter (and chapter 4 is pretty unnecessary as well).

Wow just wow, I'm very impressed. I've never been so emotionally involved in any erotic story. Kudos to the author for communicating the emotions of the characters so well. 10 stars

Wow. Just.... wow. I know it sounds kind of crass but I nursed an erection and moused left handed all the way to the end, er.. finale of this chapter. :) ...though I do agree that *most* of the parents chapter could have been left out. I like it as a modifier to clear the air of any siff-necked parenting subplot but could have done without them watching, etc. ...other than that, rock on! Looking forward to more here and more of your other stories!

This chapter derailed the story! You commented that you were trying to make it more about love, but then you broke the siblings apart, had them date other people, made it practically depressing. Than out of the blue had the siblings jump in to each others arms using overly flowery speech. The tone of this chapter just derailed the story because its far too much at odds with the prior chapters.

IT was good,but why so sad?

never in my life have i read a story that captured me like this AMAZING - 5 stars i will be reading anything else you write

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole series of this story and appreciate the wonderful, loving ending. Great job

he is confused and not worth her anxieties.

but they are just as the author intended.

this story started with so much potential, but just fizzled out with a whimper.

Meh. They would have been fucking like rabbits the same night they all talked about it over dinner. Period. The guy certainly wouldn't have angsted over the whole thing, much less put off having sex! Very unrealistic as far as Im concerned. Oh well, was still pretty good up till this chapter, thanks for writing.

...and whats so hard about living as a couple anyway? Just have to do it in a different town than the one you grew up in. Simple.

I loved it! Best of all, they can get into a routine of daily fucking now! What could be more convenient? I would get her on birth control though, because I'd be nailing Jen's pussy hard every chance I got. I'd be fondling those tit's while she was riding me, and pushing my cock up into her in rhythm. Mark's mom sounded a little wild, I might just have to fuck her too!

It was an amazing story ... One thing that bothered me was, when they instantly started to have sex. I was hoping for more talk amd feels. Anyway I really loved the story, I'm looking forward to similar ones (love ones) :)

What a lovely way to end this part of their story! I am so glad he got off of his high horse and realized he loved her.

Keep writing!!

Loved it, the only strange part was when the parents watched her sucking him off, it was a one off thing which i thought may have led to more.

Also the last month prior to getting in the sack there was no mention of the parents, seems they were hands on before when things were good, why not when things were bad, didnt make sense to me.

Other than that and a few bits of spelling and grammer I loved it, thanks, great read. 5*

Story started well back in Chapter 1. But grew steadily more tedious with each passing chapter. By chapter 3 I was losing interest but read on. Chapters 4 & 5 went steadily downhill and Chapter 6 was a welcome relief as I realised the tale was ending. Seriously, into Chapter 2 I knew these two were retards and Mom & Dad were the same.

I hoenstly think this entire chapter was unnecessary angst. I see no reason at all why he should have hesitated or had any doubt at all about being with her as a woman and man. Like they already love and respect each other as any loving married couple, their relationship is healthy and mutual, they are both consenting.

I have to say, I also was surprised at the lack of 'parenting' in this chapter, especially in light of Jen & Mark obviously being in the throes of some emotional issue(s)...why Did you not have Mom & Dad not pick up on that & intervene?

The Mom showed scene was Hot Hot Hot...I knew when it started it was not Jen, it worked out quite well for both...even Dad was cool with it.

As far as "angst" chapter 6, it was not BAD, per se...just unnecessary to the length it went...could have really resolved a bit...I DID like the whole "stormy night" premise...they both came to the same mindset at the same time (I had enough exposure to literary workings in high school & college to recognize the workings/significance of the storm!)...well done, by the way...

**5** Stars...and on to Chapter 7

Why is this chapter Here...it is a repost of Chapter 6...totally unnecessary and misleading...BBBOOOOO!!

Okay, NOW we finally get the love story that should have been the whole beginning of their affair. It's about fucking time! 5/5

Great incestious love story. I really appreciate the story since me and my younger sister had an affair that we indeed live together now with 4 normal kids.