by kaitlyn_sun
I like the premise, but you need to work on showing rather than telling, especially with dialogue.
Truly enjoyed reading this. Even got a hard on and managed to keep it that way as I wanted to just enjoy every moment.
Beautifully written and not lacking in any detail
Thank you for this story.
If I could remember my info I would log on to comment.
Very well done with such vivid detail of emotion and uncertainty in F/M sexuality in college.
Excellent. Don't stop writing. You have a great talent.
Heya Kaitlyn
LOVED IT!! You do FPV extremely well. And you gave her that cool, snarky...yet undoubtedly female perspective of mind. Was hilarious how you gave her a perfect sense of humor. Found myself cracking up at some of her sayings..like the "hey...don't judge me" part. Hehe. Also, the intimate scenes were VERY well written. You found a good line of not generically pervy...and deeply involving, erotically descriptive sex. Yep...safe to say Kaitlyn..those who take the time to read this..may need a tissue box handy...lol ;-p
Only reason gave ya 5 stars is the don't allow for 6.....keep up this AWSOME storytelling. Tc 'n xhat ya soon. :-)
Great writing. Vivid description...and very believable outcome. I can imagine seeing the whole thing happening as I read. Keep it up!
Do you really love sucking cock or is this a story builder? I loved the story, not rerally my go to fetish but stumbled on it and loved it!
loved your details, especially the part where you are looking up at him having just sucked his cock. I always find that so erotic.
Loved your description of just being taken...in your pussy and ass...and NOTHING you could do about it! But you both wanted it. Great start on your Lit writing career.
Very detailed. Just when you thought you were being taken in one direction, she took us in another. Truly one of the better reads I've had in quite some time!
Very very hot read Kaitlyn....took me back to my college days. Hope you have more incredibly sexy stories to tell. Doctor Joe.
I read your story and my cock has not stopped twitching, I hope you write more.
When two lovers are on the same wavelength, everything's different. There's some kind of mutual feedback loop which makes the kisses sweeter and the orgasms more intense. You've captured that extremely well, and your writing style is engaging.
Looking forward to reading about your second date.
Good story. I know dialog can be hard, but without it, it just doesn't quite seem real to me. Work on getting more actual dialog in to tell parts of your story and you'll bump it up to the next level.
Absolutely loved it!! 5 stars doesn't seem enough. You are a very good writer with a nice sense of pace and sensuality.
Somewhere neatly balanced between stroke and erotica. Well done!