All Comments on 'Ouroboros Ch. 02'

Wow! Boros is a golden dragon ...

And yet it seems that Nancy is sensitive towards him, to displeasure Sam (who also seems to have feelings for Nancy). I understand that Boros (for the moment at least) has no feelings for Nancy, first needs to develop his feelings for all the inhabitants of the world, to abandon his loneliness, but this can also give rise to a weakness, what would happen if someone threatens those who Boros Loves

Waiting for the next chapter.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

This is starting out to be a great story. Looking forward to more. Thanks for sharing.

I am really, really, glad you´re writing this tale. Haven´t gotten into a good fantasy in quite a while, so have been going more the science fiction route. I´m happy to find a fantasy in which I can delve into with relish..Thanks for your work and great writing ability to catch and retain this old war-horse´s interest, not much can do that when you´re a septuaginerian (spelling?). Thanks again and looking forward to the next installment.

Having cut my reading teeth on E Doc Smith (I am that old) I'm pleased to find a story this good again.

A little raw and rough around the edges, but a good enough story to overlook that.

Very glad to see that we don't need to wait for months between chapters.

Thank you.

I'm enjoying your story very much. I know that it's tough to put your stuff out there to a general public and open yourself up to criticism and I appreciate your efforts. I do have some positive criticism.

I think that you could loosen up the dialogue a bit. Parts of it come across as a stiff and unrealistic at least to my ear. I am having trouble identifying with the main character. Granted I am not a gold dragon, but after years having to defend himself against all comers, it seems unrealistic to me that he would get all teary about it. Regardless, it's not so wildly out of the realm of possibility that it detracted from the story.

I'm curious as to how you will continue this. You have created a wildly powerful character, given him the patience of job, a (perhaps overly) sensitive soul despite killing perhaps hundreds of people over 600+ years, who manages to not be wildly maladjusted socially, who is also fantastically wealthy, intelligent, sensitive to the romantic interests of others (with no mention of any romantic interests in his past), hung like a horse, pumps out pheromones....well you get the idea. It's going to be challenging to have any character growth that seems realistic unless the briefly mentioned black dragon gets pulled in as a foil. I personally like powerful characters, but they need a goals, and challenges. He seems to have partially achieved his primary goals already and I'm not sure what you are cooking up for challenges.

I look forward to reading future installments.

This seems very similar to Itpc's series in the general storyline so I'll be very interested to see how things develop.

What a great start for a story. I would suggest getting an editor since it is almost impossible for you to see all the places where small improvements could be made. But beside a few grammatical errors, this story is truly wonderful and I am eagerly waiting for the next chapter.