All Comments on 'Ouroboros Ch. 03'

One of the things that bothers me most in the life (and in this story is pretty well reflected), is that there seem to be more corrupt and murderers in the world than sand in the desert. Fortunately, sometimes there are also honest people.

Impressive description of the scene of unbridled passion between Boros and Shihong.

As a single criticism, I think you should watch for mistakes in writing names (see Shihong name on page 7, first you wrote it as Shihind, then again as Shihong). It is nothing serious if you have read the chapter carefully, it is easy to see that it was a slight writing error.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Keep up the good work. This is turning into one for the hall of fame! Cannot wait for the next chapter. ☺

love the story. and hope it continues. two small things. one when he looks out the front of the cruiser. Seven hundred fifty kilometers of spacecraft stretched out in front That is over 466 miles long. that would put the bow near Jacksonville or the GA border. the second. Shihong is nude when he comes into his room then he has to destroy her clothes just a moment later. A proof reader/editor would help considerably.

That was a fucking kick-ass chapter right there!

Thank you!

cheers! also correct ur spacecraft measurements... n try n keep personalities consistent even if they r talking to different people.

I know it is easier to be a critic than a writer but I assume you want feedback to help you improve. The character Santos was poorly presented. Boros immediately didn't like him but no reason was given. Santos didn't do anything improper at the beginning and it was Boros that I thought was rude. Santos eventually copped an attitude but it needed to be earlier. It just didn't flow right. The story itself is very entertaining and I look forward to future chapters.

1. love your story

2. love the length of the chapters

3. love the speed of publishing new chapters

4. you could ask someone to read over your text to eliminate some more typos or such :-)

Thank you, keep going!

Please consider a proofreader, or better, an editor. Your star cruiser morphed from an impressive 1.5 kilometers in length to measuring 750 kilometers (New York City to Washington D.C.-- and back!), just from the bridge to the bow. Given that the bridge is normally in the front one-third of the vessel, the implication is that the ship would stretch from New York City to Miami... and they had it in a hanger!

There were other, similar problems. Boros' choosing to shred the clothes of the naked girl was problematic at best. There were way too many typos and usage errors-- repeatedly you forgot to capitalize "Boros", and the mess you made of "tumescence" showed you didn't run spell check.

I wouldn't bother mentioning any of this if you weren't such a good story teller. You have what may be a new take on dragons-- which I would have thought impossible-- and the mystery of what sort of preternatural Shihong is helps move the story (I'm betting she's a dragon, too-- possibly red!).

So yes, do keep writing, but please, find an editor. There are people on Literotica that will help. Your story is worth it!

... soon plz

If ever the pause grows too long... meditate.

sad really... but happens all to often n seems llike always to great premises

Just waiting an another chapter, love it

He updated his biography, which means he isn't gone😁

Absolutely amazing! Minor typos here and there, but I've loved reading up till here. I just wish there was more. What happened? :/

I especially loved the creativity in .. I don't even know where to start, it feels so much like reality yet in the future without shoving your face in it constantly. Wish I knew more of the background, but (assuming it is continued) I'm sure that would be figured out as time goes on.

You're story is amazing and I think it's one of the best ones on this site. I hope you can finish it someday.

So i take it your not going to finish the story. I have been waiting for the next chapter sense you first posted the last one and going off of that was almost a year ago and still nothing im going to say you just gave up. What a shame because it was turning into one of the best on here. Oh well happens all the time unfortunately. Just saying if your not going to finish it why even post the first three chapters to begine with

This is like endangered 2777. I really like the idea of supernatural beings meeting aliens. 5 stars, please continue. Ignore snarky entitled anon's like the one below.

I have finally got around to registering an account and re-reading some of my favorite stories from literotica. There was so much potential with this series and I hope one day you are inspired to write some more.

Shame you could not finish,it gripped me from the first chapter.