All Comments on 'Out of Focus Pt. 03'

Great story and characters!!!!!

I'm not usually a fan of cliffhangers but you don't make me wait long.

The main character simply has no balls and is a wimp. If you cannot make a man able to stand up for himself, have some balls and brains, I do not want to read it.

prudentcy or having buttered bread maybe. TK U MLJ LV NV

quit messing up cant keep going back in time forever is not groundhog day

I think this is a great story but I can understand that much of the usual LW crowd might not appreciate it.

The Main character is growing stronger and stronger each 'jump'. I could see him jumping back one more time to the time he was setup in bed with Francine and coming out of it better than before and winning Alicia. His growth is not fast but people don't change overnight.

Thanks and I look forward to the next chapter.

One more jump back and he could skip getting drunk and marrying the wrong sister.

He is a cautious man and was going along to get along, but he is learning and he is becoming braver each time.

The good news is this tale was finished on another site. And it is just as stupid in the finale. He still winds up being a wimp, a smarter wimp perhaps but still the wimp. Time travel doesn't change the man he already was. Time travel just changed the circumstances he found himself in.

but how many cycles of time travel is he going to undergo? At some point he has to face the music, and go forward in real time.

Getting a little far out. But still a entertaining read. Thanks for sharing.

he's starting to jump too much if you plunk him down in yet another 'new' time. Don't make it too predictable by sending him back to that night with Francine. Our 'hero' needs to man up and be one.

Five stars nonetheless.

are you a Kurt V or Biily P fan. TK U MLJ LV NV

The ability to avoid trouble by changing his reality allows the writer to avoid being accountable for his character's actions. He rubs a stone and all is well. It looks like he will keep going back until he changes his choice of wives. It will all be a bad dream or a premonition or something.

for those who want to see the complete story go to sol. the story is okay but a fantasy, of being able to constantly able to change time and rewrite history.

... because this whole thing has gotten a little tedious and a lot ridiculous to this point.

Your characters - though archetypes - are interesting, your writing is excellent and the story is imaginative and well plotted. Even the title is well thought out and is spot on without giving anything away.

If I may give you one piece of advice though, you should PM Laurel and request to have it moved to SciFi. Not because it doesn't fit in Loving Wives, but because the SciFi readers would appreciate the story as a literary work and not mark you down because of minor plot points that goes against their personal fetish. I bet your score would go up significantly.

He is using the stone too many times...

He is improving as a person.

I find the 'rewinds' follow able, but a touch annoying.

Still, I am engrossed. Groundhogs Day, except this guy MAY be smarter than Bill Murray.

At least it is not taking as many do overs as Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.

I read on SOL and I will not tell the end. I gave the highest vote on SOL and here alike.

I kind of miss the lawyer John. He would have gotten Lou millions and brought all the assholes down. The question is, what time of life has he returned to now?

Five Stars

How did your smartphone work 15 years ago?

When you called your P.I. !!!!

Careful with your details!!!!!

Best chapter yet. Five stars.

Jesus H. Christ on a stick! How many times can one really wimpy stupid fucked up idiot screw up EVERY extra chance he gets to get it right? This is like reading a train wreck, it's awful, but you can't help having to read it to see if the stupid bastard EVER grows one, much less a pair!

Just a rambling discombobulated tale. Truly worthy of "1." Waste of time reading..won't let that happen again.

and trying to save for posterity all you hold valuable. TK U MLJ LV NV

Be damned careful what you wish for -

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try and try again. Great premise for a story. I think almost everyone at some point in their life wishes they could have a do over. Fun reading, Thanks

This is getting old really fast.

...but he uses time travel to fix his whole life!

Really? If he knows the future how can he fuck it up so badly? This has turned into a train wreck.

He's such a spineless fucking gimp, he can still suck cock when he knows what's happening. His folks should've aborted him

Still having trouble following this. Every time I think I have it he runs that damned rock. I'm hooked now.

No hope of him growing balls

Decent plot, childish characters.

Will read chapter 4 since I came this far.

russ is a racist and how about you flavian

This story really sucks now. Just plain stupid.

Almost like a person who listens to rush or watches Fox.

Kind of a person lost in the world.

Worse. :0(

This is confusing me again. As I don't remember it, it's still interesting.

So he died for a cheating whore and the dude who cucked him?

What a fucking dumbass.

He really is a weak man, isn't he. I mean pretty darn pathetic.

Two comments. No man can be so stupid or unaware of what state the relationship of his marriage is in. Why do you authors feel ,when it comes to women,you have to portray men as humans that won't acknowledge what they see or hear see and put it together,then respond accordingly Instead of the "can't be" mentality.

this man is too stupid too live> you've made a character o brain dead I'm literally rooting for him to fail. bad writing

slow, slow, slow but entertaining

Louis ist a pathetic character. Why would he be concerned if anyone gets murdered?? He has that stone and just needs to rub it......