All Comments on 'Out of the Whiteness Ch. 02'

Your story is not. This is a very good story line . Longer chapters would be great .I just start to get into the story and it ends . Thanks for the story and can't wait for the next chapter .

Thanks for reading and enjoying. I could write longer chapters but there would be longer waits between chapters. I don't know which is better. What do you think? Thanks again.

Given how you started (the slow coming out of the whiteness and all), things seemed to have ramped up too quickly in my opinion. I like your writing, but maybe there should have been more slow exploration of powers, teasing, touching, etc.

Thanks for reading and enjoying my story. For the most part, the story goes in its own direction without a lot of conscious thought from me. One word leads to the next and so on. In this case, I felt a young man in this position would go on a bit of a rampage chasing sex whenever he could. But, since he is still an obnoxious turd, he had sex just for the sake of having sex. He didn't even bother learning the names of some of the participants. But I will definitely be keeping the pacing of the story in my thoughts. I appreciate the comment as well as your input. Thanks.

The primary inspiration for this story is not Caesar. I do apologize to the author rlfj as this is based on his story “The Power” published in 1999. The author is a member of this site. I have to confess “The Power” is the only story of his that I have read. That will soon change. I think his principal character is far less obnoxious than mine is. LOL

And, this does not detract from any of my comments about Caesar and his works. I heartily recommend you read “The Sweet Smell of Lust” as well as the rest of his stories. I think the obnoxiousness of my main character came from this story and his combined works.

I apologize to the two authors for misrepresenting their works. Shame on me.

Started with promise, maybe in chapter 3 you could have him have an orgy in a stadium full of people, and Puppies, there should be puppies. Please focus on the core people.

Thanks for reading my story. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it.

I will be slowing down the body count soon enough. For the moment though, I want to establish that our obnoxious turd wants as much sex as he can get with as many people as possible. Although this is all imaginary, I think any 19 year old in his position would do the same.

Thanks again.

Why would this kid call the doctor who helped him out of his coma a "chump"? This main character is a loser and it makes it hard to root for or identify with him.

if you don't like the story asshole it's chapter 2!!!!!!!

pretty good and I'm hoping he continues but becomes less of an ass.

Thanks for reading and making a comment. I'm sorry you haven't been enjoying the story.

I understand your point completely. But, my main character is not supposed to be likeable at this point. Another reader described him as an "obnoxious turd". I wholeheartedly agree with that characterization. I also want him to be viewed as being obnoxious, cruel, and arrogant. And, I believe I have succeeded well in achieving my goal.

As the character develops, he may become more likeable. Or maybe not. I hope you keep reading and commenting as we see where my "obnoxious turd" goes.

Thanks again for your support.

I hope so too!

The doctor is taking care of him and has been keeping him alive. His medical experience tells him that the patient should not have his breathing tube or catheter removed, so the patient calls him "a chump". The doctor says that his family should not be physically leaning on his body because he's very weak. The patient calls him "a chump".

If there was any realism in this story, the patient would die from having his breathing tube and catheter removed, and people putting pressure on his body. Then the doctor could say "What a chump." Except wait, the doctor wouldn't say that because he's trying to keep him alive.

Thanks for reading and commenting on the story. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it.

The story wouldn't have gone very far if the kid had died with the removal of the breathing tube. Since this is a fantasy and not reality, I took some liberties.

I want the kid to be completely unlikable at this stage of the game.

Again, thanks for reading.

This quote is actually from the Rowan and Martin Laugh In. The sergeant you are thinking of, played by John Bannerman, was in Hogan's Heroes and his phrase was "Colonel Hogan I see nothing"

Good catch. Thanks for reading.

Goddamned Liberal Pansies just can't deal with real life. Everything has to be THEIR way or it's wrong, against the law, against human nature, racist, a hater, homophobic or some damned fairy label they can think up to empower themselves and annoy me.

FIVE MORE STARS.... AND FUCK THE WHINERS.

LMAO!!!!!! That was the best comment I have ever read on this site! Thanks for reading and enjoying my story. And, I especially thank you for your comment.

I am sorry but the "Veeeeery Interesting", came from Arte Johnson's German soldier character, on Rowan and Martins "Laugh In"..

I am enjoying your story, please continue.

Thanks for pointing out my error, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

By a 13 year old incel boy, I mean.

The main guy is a real jagbag. I don't think I ever rooted AGAINST the main character before. If I did, not this much. I legit hope he not only loses his powers (before he does some real damage), but I'm kinda sad he didn't die.

Would have been a much shorter, but much better, at least more satisfying, story.

I made it through two chapters, but I think I'm done. This guy is too mean to root for, even if he gets better later.

There are better stories and better writers (like annabelle) on this site.

Main male character is turning out to be a waste of sperm. He lacks self-discipline, maturity, and respect for others. So far, the best thing that could happen to the main character is a terminal CVA. His mother, sister and those unfortunate enough to be around him would be better off. He has absolutely no socially redeeming value or qualities.

Liked it 5 stars

CINXO ESTRELLAS!