All Comments on 'Outlander Ch. 04'

your story keeps getting better and better . your writing is excellent and the story is very imagintive and entertaining can not wait for the next chapter five stars is not enough to do your story justice

This is is a really good story. The pace and flow are really good for the start of a story. Over all very well written. Thank you for sharing Mech

This is simply amazing! I loved every moment of this chapter, Jack's confused reaction to Ava, the little moment with Aidan so simple and yet so poignant at the same time.

You have such a powerful way of pulling the reader in, making the scenes so detailed that I actually felt I was there. Birlliant chapter! I so can't wait to read the next one.

loving it so far but would kill to get the next one up faster

Your efforts are greatly appreciated. This is turning into a great series so far. I anxiously await the next chapter.

Another excellent chapter.

Every chapter in this story gets me more involved and more interested in what will happen next. Well done!

Awesome chapter! Lots of lovely and rich visual imagery without drowning the reader in too many details.

Also love the way this chapter moved the entire story forward.

Captain Garek is becoming more likable with each installment. Even grumpy Ithos is starting to grow on me. :)

It seems that Jack still has a long way to go before he can become the prophesied savior of Aramoor.

I'm also starting to wonder about the Karokai -- what manner of enemy are they that the combined strength of the King's navy & the covenant's witches and warlocks are not enough to fend them off?

Can't wait to see the next chapter!

i love the way you have gone w/this story. It holds the attention of the reader very good.

I have followed this saga from the start. The flow alone makes time and reality slip away. The only thing I ask, is that you post another as quickly as possible. And I truly Thank You for this.

I am enjoying your story. More please

Great story - just hard waiting for the next chapter.....

you never know what kind of story you'll find here, and its often garbage but this story kicks ass and i cant wait to read more. The plot, grammar, everything seemed on the up and up. also, are you planning on writing more about cams' wolfpack?

I've found myself checking the new stories each day hoping to find a new chapter to Outlander. Keep up the great work!

keep going looking forward to the next chapter

I like where you are going, even if i have no idea the destination! Plus, i appreciate you taking the time to build up a story without needing to resort to sex to move the story. I think a well written story will come to that state eventually on its own without needing it to be rushed.

keep going

Write more often. We really are waiting impatiently to see where this goes. Great story. Fantastic premise. Well written.

so does this mean Jack has the potential to become/will become an Arch Mage? That's very intruiging and it's going to be interesting to see what you do with that angle and the fact that Jack will always be able to spot the door between walls now that he's opened one... great job as always

REALLY like your story so far.

Your ideas and imagination blending these 2 worlds is interesting.

I'm hooked already.

Thanks

VC

I like the story very much...it is unfolding slowly but looking forward to the next offering

brilliant it is a piece of art loving evry second of it cant wait to read more it fantastic

very nice story. very very nice story. i hope one day i'll be able to write stories like u guys do.

I really like the Roanoke connection, a great blend of a real life mystery and fantasy. I hope to see some going back and forth between the two worlds and having Jack all healed and buff from his adventure. Maybe a little payback to his wife.

Thanks for all the kind words! I really appreciate the responce you guys are giving this chapter. I hope you all equally enjoy the coming chapters.

To the anonymous commenter: I will be returning to Cameron and his pack after the completion of the Outlander Saga.

hey, this is a really good story you have developing here, but these chapters are just too short to satisfy fully. you've got a great world built up with its own mythology, and character relationships growing stronger, but please post more frequently.

thanks!

To the next chapter!

I wasn't to sure I would like this story when I first started it, but you've changed my mind and so far I'm impressed. I have to agree with japassou, though. The chapters are a bit short. However, when that's the only complaint I have, then I suppose I should just hush up and wait patiently for the next chapter! Hope it comes soon!

Normally not my cup of tea, but after having my breath taken away by your story 'A Journey Home', I freely admit, I'm enthralled. So I'm working my way through your stories now. Can't wait to see what happens next here. I'm trying hard not to gush too much and beg you for the next chapter, but, can we have the next chapter please???? LOL

I'm really enjoying this story. Eagerly awaiting chapter 5.

fantasies (magic talks) is not my cup of tea, but the "tie" to "reality" from the earth man Jack's view keeps me interested. <p>

I am not categorically in dis-favor of "magical talks"; the problem I have with fantasies/magical activities is, it's like "teu, teu, tua, tua, toom" and rocks juts becomes edible and electricity just appears everywhere... I mean, as an adult, that's just too idiotic. As a small boy or girl, 4-7 years old or so, I am sure such Harry Potter nonsense would be very exciting as stories... <p>

Now, ON THE OTHER HAND, if someone like the girl AVA could be cleverly EXPLAINED away (her "magical power" at healing BIG GASHES on your arms, where CELLS HAVE BEEN FORCIBLY SPLIT APART from sharp or blunt objects, cause vessels to burst, with the result being RED BLOODS gushing out of your system, LEADING TO DEATH soon, if the big gush is not medically stitched back together, to allow normal blood flow and, TO ALLOW platelets to form on the wounds, to HEAL the wounds)... <p>

E.g.: <p>

+++++++++++++ <p>

"Well, Jack, you see... as you CAN SEE, we have two moons. So you are not dreaming. And you can't be allucinating, either, since you can see you are now bleeding real blood; you also see I just healed some people through touch... Well, it's a long story as to why we live in such different worlds, but here's the short version: through different evolutionary trajectories, our people, whether through accidents or designs, we don't know... what we know is, through such different lines of evolutionary awareness, if you will, we acquire a certain ability to train our minds to MANIPULATE and COAX forces, processes, and events at the very fundamental levels, of what you might call the QUANTUM level in your world.... <p>

"..... and that means SOME of us are born with BETTER or more natural ability to shape or guide such forces or events or processes. What we ordinary say "magic" is really just the ability of a certain person to MENTALLY direct cells, genes, and even ATOMS to move or assemble AT WILL in a certain way... YOU, Jack, saw what I did to that small but incredibly strong chain, right? Well, I was able to project deep into the ATOMIC STRUCTURE of the metalic property and somehow coaxed the ATOMS to weaken at a certain stressful joints... causing it to break... <p>

".... Anyway, that's the "short version" of why our two worlds, two people, so similar in some ways, are also so vastly different.... why you think I am a very powerful "magician" in this world and yet why I THINK you are, on the other hand, is the one that MAY JUST SAVE US ALL ultimately, if you're the one prophesized to save us... and we have to believe such a prophecy because we have no other recourse; because we know we are dying as a race... " <p>

++++++++++++++ <p>

and so on and so forth..... NOW, if as a writer, you're able to quickly explain "magic" in such easy but believable manner... then even as an adult, if I want to be entertained by something different, I would enjoy it, yes.... But I can't enjoy a story, FOR ADULTS, if the author have the hero or herione snap his or her fingers and delicious grapes appear out of nowhere, wine bottles pop out of the air already chilled, with Russian caviar already opened, ready to be served... with 7 virgins dancing naked by the side of the bed, all for you enjoyment.... again, as an adult with complex thinking, such small children's nonsense just doesn't do it for me. <p>

try to explain why snaping one's finger, things appear, NOT simply that they just appear when you snap your fingers BECAUSE you have powerful "magic." that's circular gibberish nonsense... Things are MADE OF ATOMS, and atoms are not virtual particles: they have force and mass; they don't appear out of thin air, especially as beautiful virgins, as caviar, as gold coins, as magical swords, as one fish becoming dozens to feed dozens of hungry people... it don't happen like that... you as the author WILL have to CONTRIVE A WAY TO EXPLAIN why atomic and molecular and cellular things can come together to form that things, objects, or people we/"magicians" want...

That this story is so much better than Young Wolves. Dont get me wrong, I really enjoyed that series but this one is amazing. Your plot development thus far has blown my mind. I cant wait for this series to finish and know what happens to our poor hero. Kudos and please, keep up the good work :)

First of all the story is great and I think you are one of the best writers on this site.

Now that I've got that out of the way I feel the need to reply to a fellow commenter. The man, proof that the incest stories on this site may be based in fact, known as GenghisKhan.

Just a few line by line rebuttals.

"fantasies (magic talks) is not my cup of tea," - Also apparently the English language, not his cup of tea.

"I am not categorically in dis-favor of "magical talks" - Who exactly are you quoting. If it is in fact, as I assume, your retarded inbred sister leave the quote marks out of it please.

"teu, teu, tua, tua, toom" - What the fuck!

"I mean, as an adult, that's just too idiotic." - Oh that's too idiotic. May I draw your attention to the previous sentences in your post. Now that's idiotic.

"As a small boy or girl, 4-7 years old or so,"- Also known as your intellectual superiors.

"I am sure such Harry Potter nonsense would be very exciting as stories. . ." - If you have problems with Harry Potter please write JK Rowling. I'm sure she would like a good laugh.

"Now, ON THE OTHER HAND," - What's with the caps lock. Do you have typing tourette's syndrome? Just because you type it big doesn't make it make sense.

The idea that "AVA" has to explain her powers. - Do you think when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead he looked at Jesus and said, "Jesus you have to explain to me exactly how you did that. Please tell me every obscure seemingly insignificant detail." Or do you think maybe he just said thanks and figured the details weren't that important.

Your medical knowledge - Are you a doctor or do you just sit around in your own shit and play the board game operation. Just wondering.

+++++++++++++++++

This next section of your reply. Are you trying to tell the author how to write his own story? If so, just shut the fuck up. He does not need your help.

"we have two moons. So you are not dreaming." - Hard to fault your logic there genius. I know every time I see some weird shit I can't explain my first thought is, well I know I'm not dreaming. Fucking Idiot.

"you can't be allucinating, either, since you can see you are now bleeding real blood" - I'm not sure what "allucinating" is but I know every time I bleed fake blood I'm hallucinating.

"here's the short version" - No jackass the short version is . . . we're magic. Your explanation is just a steaming pile of nonsense.

+++++++++++++++++

Here's a thought. Maybe Ava doesn't actually know how this magic works. Maybe she just has faith that her God gave her a gift to do these things. And maybe your mother and father were brother and sister. Just maybe.

"as an adult with complex thinking" - REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"that's circular gibberish nonsense..." - Well you're the expert in gibberish nonsense, so who am I to argue.

I've enjoyed all of this. And while part of me is screaming "More more more hurry up! go go go!" the other part is saying "Do it right! We can wait..."

Should you choose to remove the steamier parts of this story when its complete, my opinion is that it would sell, and quite well.

it is like the novels i like to read as a kid but upped in the sex areas. riveting and captive are words that can be applied to the story so far, with a character that readers instantly develop feelings for, and as of yet a villein unknown

give us the next chapter pls pls pls

hurry hurry

waiting for it

too good a plot

very well written

As a very close friend of mine likes to say, "It's magic. I ain't gotta explain shit."

And while delicious grapes, chilled wine and Russian caviar (going to have to take your word on that last one, never been a fan of any kind or part of fish really) would be nice, I fail to see what they have to do with this story. Seven virgins is hitting a bit closer to the target, but I think I'd rather have them do more than dance.

Anyway, looking forward to more story from sirreadsalot10, and more comedy from GenghisKhan. Oh, and GK, another of my friends quotes you could benefit from, and I'll put it in all caps just for you.

"LEARN TO ENGRISH!"

Spell checker, bro, it helps.

Because of time restraints it took me a while to finish the four chapters. I really like the story so far. I find that with just a little more discription of the world would make this perfect. Where did the people come from originally? I will die here soon if the chapters dont start coming faster. Why get hooked if you have to wait a month or more. I gave this 5 stars and will probably go back and rate the other three chapters with 5's also because I like to rate as a story not chapters. I would like Jack to get into his magic and ava.

I like this better than Young Wolves and i loved that series.

i look forward to next chapter!

A very well realised world, and backstory, that is becoming more and more intruiging. Thanks for sharing and please do continue with Jack's adventure!

Definitely one of the best stories on the site and one I'd be impressed with and very caught up in if I rented it from the library or bought it in a store. I'm in awe of writers like you who can craft such a tale in your head. I love this genre all the more b/c it usually is set in other worlds which takes all the more talent and imagination to come up with if it is written well enough to pull you in. Thanks for writing something so fun to read.

This series is very, VERY well written. Keep up the awesome work, because it's one of the best series on this site. Kudos to your editor (and you as well) for correction in grammar and taking the time in editing. It really helps reading a story and not thinking "Comma goes here" or "That's an incomplete sentence there".

Characters and story line are not only developing seamlessly, but they're also consistent. The detail and the easy way everything is introduced into the story isn't overwhelming or too little--this can only be accomplished by good writing paired with good editing.

Like I said: well written and awesome work. Thank you for sharing!!

--Haley

Great story!

love the in-depth descriptions, makes this tale so real.

so much so, that there are tears in my eyes every time aiden is mentioned!

better get on to the next chapter.

thanks ;0)

Just get's better and better.

love it so far, i can feel the emotional pain that Jack's going through to my core, GREAT story.

Well... At least Jack's pain keeps him from gawking and acting like a lovestruck teenager around Ava. Too many damn stories where the protagonist is annoying as all hell when confronted with the love interest.

Your writing skills are well balanced and highly creative. I am certainly enjoying the battle of self that Jack is dealing with...you may ne too forth coming though, try not to tell everything and allow the story to play out..

I do love the history lesson...the why's...

Very good. Oh and more pages...anything greater them 2 will do.

Thank you again

Truly a wonderful story so far, and very well written. I hope there's much more of it!

i normally dont like these kinds of stories where the time period theyre based off of isnt presentday or even steampunkish..they normally annoy me with the way they speak and act but i can honestly say that i quite like this story and find the descriptions and emotions in it to be very powerful without being overwhelming or outlandish (no pun intended). I look forword to reading the rest of the story and i have a feeling its only going to get better from here.

It's like Tom Clancy's Hunt for Red October meets Avatar!

Just recently found this series and so far really enjoying it. Very much Iike the chars and its a different type of main character which is refreshing

A captivating story of wondrous other worlds. I'm sure I came from a world of 'elsewhere' and so appreciate others telling of the possibilities , fantasy or not.

With a mind like yours, please keep dreaming.

Very interesting story... took me 2 days to read the first chapter... just didnt seem to be my kind of story... now 4 chapters I say it is well worth the time I have spent reading and plan to continue the very good story... keep up the great job

I just started this series, and I agree with most of the comments - you do great work. Please, please stick with this series! It would be crushing ("gutting" as the English say) to wait another 4 years to learn what happens to these characters. Carry on MacDuff!!

I can not see what GK is upset about. In a fantasy world the inner consistency is important but what we readers believe is irrelevant.

Sorry but my comments will be on all the first chapters. I think it is well rounded. It is well into contention with Worlord. I hope it doesn't end in the same way but I am well pleased with the resulting saga. Thank you for the sharing. Coalbucket

This is a fantastic story. My only issue is that I'm worried about how short it may be! Very good work. Jaz Cullen's story kept me stuck to my phone to the point of ignoring everything else. I'm so glad that she recommended this. Thank you.

I just hope it stays at this level, and the story is complete.

Too many good unfinished stories I have found on this site. I just hope this is not the case.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

I really like where this is going. Great story so far!

I am enjoying the story. But before the end of story, I would like the deceit that happened in his world to be finalized.

I like the way you introduced each character with their thoughts in each situation.

I'm a science fiction/fantasy/dystopia junky and this is a very fun read. You could actually compete with Indie writers although I'd humbly suggest the sex be less explicit; your storyline definitely outweighs your porn.

One of the best stories here so far

One of the best and I'm not even halfway through the series

totally captivated .. as someone slowly piecing my life back to .. someting else it's never been ..

Great start. Love it 😍

Rex

well-crafted and a great read so far thank you for your efforts looking forward to reading the rest

i have always liked different versions of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthurs court,

Great tale. Just loved the way that you have seamlessly crafted together intrigue, character build and plot into one.👏🏻 5 stars from me and I am looking forward to reading more. I just hope that the book is completed 👍🏻