All Comments on 'Outpost: Hetero Version Ch. 02: Snowed In'

Hey guys, just letting you know that this story is supposed to be titled ' Outpost 2: Snowed In - Hetero Edition'.

This isn't a chapter, it's a sequel, and there are no differences between this version and 'Outpost 2: Snowed In - Bisexual Edition' besides some changes to character genders and some extra sex scenes.

I'm not sure why the admin who uploaded it changed the title this way, but I'm trying to get it fixed.

Thank you for reading!

Outstanding Snek! I'm glad that Scarface took up with a human again. She seems to have adjusted her attitude after getting her ass kicked by a human on the pinwheel! But how did she get to the polar region rather than the tropics where she came from? Punishment I guess. Fun read, and that Shrimp is one Hot little Kitty! Love your stories, keep up the great work.

Semper Fi!

Hey, snek. I have read all of your other tales involving the Borealans. I have only read the Hetero editions. It was awhile ago, around when you first posted them here. With that being said, I could be recalling incorrectly. I seem to remember shrimp being male in the first, hetero, story. I didn't see anything saying you changed genders between the Hetero stories.

Edit: I just checked and the passage I found around page 9 of the first heterosexual story had runt referred to as a male. Not sure if you meant to make this change or not. I could have missed where you stated a change happening.

Secondly, when Riya first couples with Zagza, it is made to seem from my opinion that he covers her face, upper body, and it runs down to her pubic area, with cum. I didn't see a mention of either of them wiping off the cum. However, later during the coupling I didn't see any mention of her being covered in cum while Zagza was exploring her upper body with his mouth. It just reappeared at the very end, after they had finished.

I just thought I would point these out as I'm not sure if they were intended or unintended. I also, at this point, haven't finished this story yet.

@Crusader235

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Scarface is actually a Polar who was introduced in Outpost, she hasn't ever been to the Pinwheel and I think you might be confusing her with Azi from Purple Heart maybe? I have a lot of cats though, I may need to make a wiki at this point! Thanks for reading and for leaving feedback, I hope you'll like what I'm working on next!

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@Anonymous

You're partially correct, the Bisexual version of Outpost and Outpost 2 are the versions that I wrote first, and the Hetero versions are edits. Shrimp is a new female character that replaces Runt in this story, and Runt's gay scenes were cut from the Hetero version of Outpost 1. They're two different characters but they play much the same role here.

Editing this version was a little more difficult than usual because Runt and Schaffer's interactions were central to the plot, and so I replaced the character in the Hetero version rather than simply cutting the scenes as I usually would.

Yeah you may have found a continuity error that I missed in the sex scene, I'd need to go back and have a look.

Thanks for reading!

Great work and always a pleasure to read. I can only point that in this story there is a great chunk of steam&cream and not really much background. You originally captivated me with your ability to build great stories with sexy content punctuating the development of the plot.

You seem to have this series in a bit of a bundled mess. Try breaking the stories apart by changing titles; at the moment, you have your hetero version and bisexual versions all bundled up in a single series.

Keep it up.

love this series, hoping you will continue to work on this series.

I don't usually like furry stories. A tail and cat ears is about as far as I go. But your scenes are so well written that I tend to ignore all the hair.

I really like stories like this and "Raz the Farmer" where you go further into the characters' lives. Maybe a sequel to "Worlds Apart" next? Pretty please?

'Runt', and thought I would comment, myself.

I can see how you wrote yourself into a corner via the combination of tryin' to do two versions of the story, and then having your male runt become a main character in the sequel. With that said, you could have solved the problem a bit more smoothly than just changing the character gender.

After all, you have twenty four polar characters to work with, (though, in Outpost, during the discussion of the pack being forgotten by the rest of the Polars who immigrated to Siberia, the lost pack was referred to as 'a dozen').

You could have simply introduced Shrimp as a new character. I would have to check the text of Outpost 1 to be certain, but I seem to remember Runt being described as the smallest Polar, but still larger than the human. In Outpost 2, you describe Shrimp as being the same size as your main protagonist. I doubt anyone would have mentally flinched if you had introduced Shrimp as the 'true' runt of the pack and, as such, was overlooked by the human, because she was both small, but more so because she was withdrawn, fearful, and full,of reticence about 'joining in' with the rest of the pack.

It would have given you a chance to develop her character, rather than throwing her into the story as a new character. You developed the character of Runt in Outpost 1 through the interactions with the human, and then expected it to carry over into Outpost 2 even though you changed the gender, as well as modifying the psychological makeup of the character. It made Shrimp a weaker character than she could have been.

The other weak point in the sequel was the length of the two sex scenes. The highest ranked stories in both Sci-Fi and Non-Human, (they are both in the same genre, the latter is simply a specialized subset of the first.), are the stories in which the plot carries the tale, and the sex becomes a normal flow of the story arc.

Thanks for sharing, and for the work to put together the finished product.

GeoD

I've been reading through your catalog of stories and have found myself enjoying most of them. I absolutely loved both version of the first chapter of Outpost. This one fell very short, at least for me. Riya comes off as a very two-dimensional and shallow character. Very boring. I enjoyed the scene where she and the protagonist speak about their pasts, but the story would have been better without having included her. As a plot device she does very little other than sleep with Zagza and cause the protagonist to bring out a bottle of booze, and there are a myriad of reasons that could have still happened without the addition of a boring character with no depth.

I'd have give you five stars had Riya not had issues. Good job, though.

The borealans probably saw schaffer as a midget that could barely function on its own on first encounter. The closest thing I could think of to relate to this situation is that every single human appears to borealans as Danny devito appears to other humans.

You have left this pack of Polars like a family on welfare. They have no trading anymore. So there is no more crafting. Anything they need shows up on a shuttle once a month. Scarface doesn't really need to hunt anymore. You've not shown their day to day life which must be pretty boring. Even at the beginning of the story he had been there a month or two and they were not able to communicate any better than the first several weeks when he first met them. I was really hoping that this pack was going to be relocated with the other Polars to earth. This story fell short in where it could have gone. People, especially someone who has to work full time just to survive, will deteriorate pretty fast with no goals.

Your follow-up stories are weaker in comparison to the original. I have noticed this in both cases, fineprint and outpost. Although your narration is excellent, these stories don't have a better storyline. Perhaps you could add some more adventures to strengthen them. Other than that, your stories are the best. Keep the good work up.

A good follow up to outpost.

I read outpost 2 straight after the first story and was initially confused, I'm assuming Shrimp in the 2nd story is Runt from the 1st story?

Also I believe the outpost main door opened into the facility in the 1st story.

Not being critical of your story, I'm thoroughly enjoying them and reading the series in order. I just wanted to make you aware as I know you are re-editing them to publish.

Another Great Read 5*s as usual . My only negative comment is the name swap Runt for Shrimp , I kinda liked Runt , maybe it's just me ??

THANKS FOR A GREAT STORY

TXCRACKER

@txcracker

@RoughRoad85

When I originally wrote Outpost, Runt was male in both versions of the story, and only got a sex scene in the Bisexual version. When I went back to re-edit the story (Outpost has been updated with an improved version) I was able to change Runt's gender to female in the Hetero version and write equivalents for all of their sex scenes. There was no female named Runt in the original, so Shrimp was a new character that served the same purpose in the sequel.

When I re-edit Outpost 2, I will be changing Shrimp's name back to Runt, as there's no reason for her to be a separate character anymore.

Full marks.

Your detailed commentary is as usual excellent, but there’s always something for me to nitpick.

No way there’s going to be any sleet or hail in -30 conditions. Polar atmospheres are very shallow. There’s no body of water nearby to draw energy. I’m surprised that snow is even generated. And heavy gravity would pack ice crystals, I think there would be less drifting. At those temps, and a polar location, it is also climatically a desert.

A drop ship would almost certainly be sealed up against any weather etc so I doubt anything infiltrated from drifting.

Hmmmmmn.....an Amish planet.....interplanetary Rumspringa....with aliens.....

Better hurry and get that written, or some fanfic might pop up (if that’s ok?)

~Enkidu

Some inconsistencies between the previous Outpost and this; when Schaeffer first sees Ragza's organ, he thinks that it's not much bigger than a human's. Now with Riya taking his "forearm" sized length and girth two-thirds in and saying she only got 9 inches in? I'd say that's quite a bit bigger than a human. How the hell are all these modest sized human males able to even please a Borealan female outside of cunnilingus? Now it just seems that a human wields a twig compared to Borealans, but somehow they can still manage to get them off with it regularly?

But I love it when you have smaller women being overwhelmed and pleased and ravished by big strong men

I’m also inspired to make an in-universe, bodice-ripper version of “Claws of the Tiger”