All Comments on 'Overdue'

Beautiful, beautiful writing. So assured and perfectly paced; what a lovely, delicate love story.

And such an unusual pair. Thanks.

You have a natural talent for writing. I got a little confused at the switch between narrators at the beginning and had to go back and read the change a couple of times before I caught it. My fault ,not yours.

Stream-of-consciousness. Gritty, warm, inevitable. Good art.

This story is being underrated, imo. Trying not to spoil, but I suggest that you pump up the denouement in the last page a bit. DM me if you want to discuss. Thanks for sharing this!

living (and dying) in a short story. The complex relationship between Rach and Mikey, taking a long established "safe" friendship into more turbulent relationship, is a fine read.

thanks for providing the excellent story ... and "you do write a pretty good sex scene when it's called for."

I’ve read many, many stories on Literotica, but this is by far the best of them. The quality of the writing is such that it almost transcends the quality of the story. Delightful characterisation and observation elevates this into the realm of “literature”. Bloody well done, Sara, and thank you.

Beautifully written, a joy to read.

The wait I mean

You have written such a beautifully gripping story. The tone is perfect. In just a short 5 pages, you have given inspired texture, emotion, wit, and humanity to two complex characters. I want to read the next 500 pages. Your words make the reader feel and care about Rachel and Michael. Utterly superb. Thank you

who has left a comment here. It really makes my day to find out what you've liked/not liked about this story, so I'm grateful when you've taken the time to leave a comment. I enjoyed writing Rachel and Michael - they were interesting to work with (and there, revealing too much about how I think my characters are real....)!

Simply one of the best

Courageous concept, Sara. Your characters are very real and your teasing hesitation of their relationship provocative. The switching of POV is a bit disconcerting, but it still works. Good turns of phrase, ""There's no mad rush, Rach, we can take our time," I reply even as my body expresses its stiff opposition to that offer."

I've played with the idea of panning a love affair between a straight and a bi person. Perhaps you have a sequel to this in which you explore jealousy. I think I've heard a bi person say, "If I've found the love of my life then I am faithful no matter what turns me on." But this is somehow unconvincing. If you really love both Indian and Chinese food can you give one up forever because you really love the other?

You handled the HIV specter well, though that too could be a ghost that haunts a relationship.

Quibble: You might have played with the heat and sweat more. You could have played with metaphors in the flower show.

If you haven't shaped your commercial romance novel yet it is about time.

I really enjoyed reading it, characters depth, the plot, the switch of points of view. It was really nicely written and entertaining. Thanks for sharing with us.

I really, really needed that after reading a lot of mediocre stuff. It was emotional, it was sexy, it was friendship and life. Maybe they're still a little too perfect, even though the poor reaction each has to the love declarations makes them imperfect. Michael's OCD is mentioned but we never see an actual impact, and there are many ways that OCD impacts people's lives.

Why had she never been to his place?

In college, he went away for the day or longer on the morning after Fliss' diagnosis/their almost-sex. He returned from that and somehow the fact that Rachel had left for her home, to see her sister and family, was a rejection of him? That seems really stupid. Maybe I just misunderstood.

This is a terrific story, thanks for sharing your talent here.

Thank you for the story. It shows great skill when the reader gets pushed and pulled at the pace of the characters' anxieties and begins to pine for the next curve and rush of the roller coaster.

I gave you 5***** for your effort. I'm amazed by the story.

Some of the best writing I've ever seen here.

And the next day a Bobbie arrest him for taking it in the ass, in an alleyway no less. The author would have you believe he is cured of "queerness". Not in this lifetime.

Really well written. Good flow and pace. Enjoyed the story like and sex scenes. As a bisexual myself very believable and lovely story line.

I in no way want readers to think I was writing a story in which anyone's sexuality was in need of "curing". That was not my intent and never will be. I firmly believe everyone's sexuality is complicated, sometimes/oftentimes fluid, and definitely unique to them. Who we choose to love is equally complicated and often defies logic. If anything, that's what I try to write into these stories.

And that is all!

A great take off the classic short story

It was a beautiful story. I love that they finally found each other after struggling to move to the next stage beyond friendship over the years . . . Thanks for another wonderful dtory

They think too much. Then they talk too much.

Every now and again I find a story here on Lit that just blows me away, this one just did exactly that. You managed to skilfully draw these two people, out of almost nothing but raw emotion, loss and physical need, and we understood them both completely, just masterful. Fwiw this feels like it has @NoraFares fingerprints on it, your style and content match hers very well, with the exception of the pov changes. Definitely a 5⭐️, many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

Their relationship ends and then its back to their beginning. Too much discussion on meaning of this and that meaning of emotions. Love is just that ... love ... just go with it and attempt to figure it out later.

This is the trust, acceptance, and love we strive for. Well done.