All Comments on 'Overlooked Bride Ch. 07'

just one word, boring.

We all knew where we were going from the start, it was the way to get there which was the interest.

This chapter wasn't as well paced as the others, but it tied the stroy together quite nicely.

Glad you got 'round to posting it.

The back drop for this story where the Chinese are setting up a school teaching English subjects, except for the most important ones to be taught in Chinese made this an interesting read. Very authentic!

Thank you for finishing the story. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Thanks for your guys/gals who commented authentically. Much appreciated and helpful. As for '11/24/06 by Anonymous' I'm sorry that life is such a disappointment to you; try sticking a firework rocket up you ass and lighting it.

While the delay of 3 weeks for the finish helped take off the edge from an outstanding story, and "some reduction of level" in this last chapter -- it was a great read and one I may go back to read again in a very months. Thnaks for providing us with so much reading pleasure.

indianlarry

this story was crap

MAKE A BETTER ONE!

That definetely wasn't one of the best stories I've read. It wasn't horrible, but you focused way too much on the buisness parts of the plot. I got lost and was bored reading about the buisness transactions that happened. The entire story was extremely confusing, and I didn't even understand what was happening during the main events. The ending was also completely rushed.

But good try.

After writing for the New Zealand Farmers Weekly and then trying to write erotic stories is a big jump, one that you failed to make. Your stories read like an ad for farming implements and elects about the same amount of interest. Try reading some of the works from The Wander, D G Hear, Ahabscribe, Danielle, L A Wicker or Bostonfiction Writer to get an idea of how to write a story, you need all the help you can get.

loved your story. only negative you need better editing

it seems that several of your characters have mothers who cheat but appear to lover their spouses. what was this crap, it made no sense- "putting friendship ahead of self. He would have gladly trading access to his body in return for Alice assisting him reach out for Bianca. Instead Alice made the noble choice" that was incredibly hypocritical because both women sleep around and a lot of times you almost have the fathers as passive and have the wife wear the pants. is that how you like it in your marriage? i dont mean to too rude, but this seems to be a recurring theme in your stories and frankly, its disheartening that when you talk about true love, soul-mates,etc. , it always has some kind of cheating involved. also, if i was the marty id be pissed that bianca still came to my house after callously dumping me because of unrealistic expectations-nobody's perfect or even close to perfect.

This story is one of the best ever posted on Literotica.

This has got to be one of my favorite stories here. I fell in love with Marty and Bianca, especially their classy yet sexy bantering. Well written.

You had so much crud in this story that detracted from the main plot. The extrenuous content turned this series to a yawnfest.

Another great series mate

So...

I've read all of the comments to date (15 so far). I especially liked #5, Author's comment!

Your style is "ragged" to say the least, but I think that's part of what makes me return to your stories as often as I do. Thanks for the fun times. 😀