by JimBob44
I like your story but where did all that sexual submissiveness come from? Donny and Donna enter the cabin and immediately begin having sex? There was no lead- up information that would support this behavior; especially for a virgin.
Then Donny leaves for the military and never writes or calls. That is not very realistic for a brother that had a weekend of the best sex he ever had (with his sister, no less).
Then her father finds out and starts having sex with her. She doesn't resist, act surprised, or anything. She just goes with it. She is not the least bit concerned about getting pregnant either.
Also, dad seems to be training Donna to be submissive and she seems to be OK with that too; without any lead-up information.
Again, I liked the story but I had to imagine too much to fill in the blanks. You left it open for a sequel and I hope you will continue it. It would be nice to see Donny come home on leave and explain his silence, plus find out about Donna and her father, and her being pregnant. Then see what happens after the baby is born.
This story was a total waste of time. The descriptions of sex between brother and sister were really good; but between her and her father disgusting. Characters are flat. And what's with the dialect? Are they black? Not convincing. Are they white? Not convincing. I guess writing is just not your thing. . . .
1st half awesome, but then you destroyed it, brother should have been the one to get her pregnant. The way you played out the father bit sucked.
It’s really sad that you ruined a perfectly good incest story with her daddy being an ass!! You really should have kept the flow of the story going with her brother. You had that part written very well.
What happened to the loser brother who ignored his sister after fucking (read raping) her!!
She was better off with the father who has the gold!!!