All Comments on 'Pageant Slut Ch. 01'

you say she has never had anal but she likes hard cock between her tits and in her ass....

I noticed the part about virgin ass, but liked having mom catch them. I can almost see where this is leading and will enjoy reading it.

just a couple of minor points....

One it takes a little bit to get a fist into a girl who has had kids... I don't think you could just bury one in a girl right away...

I have a niece something almost like this...a real cock teaser to say the least!

look forward to the next chapter!

You need to get the story together and be consistent. First you write that she lkes it between her tits, in her pussy and up her ass then proceed to say she's never had anal sex. Sorry that deserves no more than a two.

Keep up the good work, and please continue the story!

Although there are some mistakes, the story is very good & the next part seems more promising and it will be best if you put in some more efforts. Do not repeat same mistakes underlined in first part.

It was good and I did like it quite a bit but there was a problem for me with the reoccuring use of the word master. At some point it ceases to be submission and turns to comedy. I wonder if I'm the only one who thought of the TV series I dream of genie. 'oh master' blah blah blah.

I think you've got quite a story here to keep telling, and it's done in an eloquent manner that doesn't seem to intellectual nor brutally raw with the words used.

-------------------------------------------

Something for the people who have a problem with the anal parts. It's my idea that maybe the neice figured out what buttons to push for the most effect once the shock of the situation went away. She said it for the effect she knew it would have on him, not because it was true. Or maybe she said it because she wanted him to use her anally. Only the author knows, but he's sure got a cliffhanger ending to chapter one.

Great story. Can't wait for the followup.

I cant wait for the next chapter!

Good work on the story. Like others have said, the fidting was a little unrealistic, and the thing about the anal, but it got my rocks off. Thanks!

This story was awesome, you have to follow up with what happens next.

great story

please make part 2 soon

She has never been assfucked HUH.

And gee another 10 incher LOl god done to death.

You have to make part 2

Early on, she said she liked having a cock in her ass, but right before he fucked her there, she said she'd never had a dick up there before. That doesn't make sense.

Yeah it bothered me too, if she hadnt had a cock in her ass how does she know it will be so good. Story is good a bit long in the build up for Lit but it is good once you get to the hot action!! Cant wait to read more from you!

I agree with the other reader... how would she know she liked a cock in her ass if she said that she never did that before?

I think you should probably stick with normal sex with her pussy 1st and work into fucking her ass. Nothing is hotter than that image of a hot cheerleader getting fucked doggy style...

fucken good storie i can't wait for the next ch

plese feel free to e=mail in fruther kenalexfin@gmail.com

Wonder what Gary's going to do next. I wished he fucked Ashley's cunt first so she could see cum out of her "innocent daughter's" pussy and possibly impregnated. Please continue this story.

Loved it but finish it!!!

Tis was a great story. But I noticed how she said she liked being fucked in the ass, but later she aid she had never been fucked there before. Other than that I liked it, I felt that she deserved what she got completely.

I was getting into this story, until unrealistically you said about fitting your whole fist in her pussy, and that she liked it. I have a pussy of my own, and ive not had kids. Id probably end up with a vaginal tear and bleed rather than cum. Ruined the build up for me. Only tip I can give is to pay attention. To tge details. Other than that the plot of the story is great. Id love to read an improved version.

So he basically fist rapes her, which would have tore her open, blood everywhere and off to the hospital for stitches!

Same with just ramming anything the size of his dick up her, tearing and stitches, then no more anal ever because tearing would be more likely. Then shoving his whole hand in her mouth and starting to get it in her throat?! Wtf dude?!?

Mostly I loved the story design and idea, but this stuff just fucks it up! Lol, cant wait to see him banging his uppity sister next, right next to her daughter! Three way action cumming up! Rofl.

More please, but no more fisting or anything else degrading, it's just gross. Good story but it would have been better if their was more resistance on her part & she wasn't so eager, it would b more of a humiliating lesson 4 her. U should invite me over 2 fuck both her & her bitch of a mother.

Good start to a potentially great story...

but as I can see. no activity since 2012 and no continuation to it sadly.

if this story would've continued. I think this would've been on of the great ones in HOF. missed opportunity...damn