All Comments on 'Pal-entine's for Single Parents'

I'll just copy paste my comment from Patreon: Feedback in general: fun, Hallmarky feelgood story. With the slowburn it didn't feel like a typical Valentine "smut" story. Definitely more romantic.

Good pacing, humour. Felt like a fun slice of life style. No world shattering epidemics. No AMA shenanigans. Just a couple of people living life. In Literotica terms, this would fit the Loving Wives category in the literal sense of the term, but Romance is probably a better fit. // Easily a top 5 contender for stories I reread every so often for the Good Vibes™️ // Main characters came across as believable. Two humans that are both a little dinged, perhaps some scratches in the paint, comfortable around and with each other and in a way too scared to lose the friendship they have to take the next step. // The kids: adorable as heck. If you take this story further and ever do some (cover) art for this, it should be the "twins" and the "adults", all four of them in their dino and dragon onesies doing their best couch potato impression while watching a movie. // I do seriously hope you write more about these 4. And as I've said on Patreon - I'd keep focus on the two MC's, and not go the harem route with this one. It'll be a good mental exercise for you. And it makes the story more grounded and believable :-) // Hope this wins the Valentine's day contest!

Stay Safe

⭐⭐

Excellent story, loved it.

What a beautiful story

Excellent romance, with a hot ending.

Excellent story and a lovely romance. Thank you

Loved it, well written, great story!

5 +++++ stars. Great story. Perfect. I would just leave any further continuations alone. It cannot get any better. Just let a readers imagination take a trip to wherever they want. Just let your great imagination write another story and make it better than this one (if that is possible).

Very well built, you gradually upped the tension between our mc’s, the girls emotional part time Mom/Dad section was a full on tear jerker, but I guess that was intentional, to up the emotional ante before the pal-entines dinner section, which let’s be honest was the peak we were climbing toward the whole story through. Tbh the Francine drama could have had more to it, as well as more drama/politics involving his Sister, but that’s another subject entirely, maybe another in a future chapter perhaps. Another idea would be a closeted and frustrated Francine, up for some illicit pussy licking, definitely a way to explain her PTA need to succeed, it’d definitely be a good chapter to read.

Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers, Ppfzz, 5⭐️.

A good read. Please continue the story with at least one of your suggested plots.

Boo! This story finishes too soon!

The pacing is lovely. I was drawn by how Adrian’s and Livvy’s relationship built. Please write more. Preferably all 3 story options please!

This was a great story. Fantastic. I loved the build up. Tat said I like all three options. Olivia never said once she was married if they still slept with others but I'd love to see how the deal with that as well as maybe when they are out someone recognizes her. Maybe a teenager or so.ething and how his family reacts. But I'm just glad your interested in continuing. Thank you

I’m with KahunaBob, great story with just enough schmaltz to make it a good fit for Valentines Day. I would like for there to be a way to give this an extra star

I do agree, too romantic to devolve into some polyamory harem tale.

Okay, so I have to ask: American parents dont really come to birthday parties of their kids, to a) protect them against kidnapping (?) and b) police their behaviour? Thats just the rich people, who do this? Right???

More please. I love this! More romance stories please.

Great work as always

I'm very excited to read some sequels.

You always write lovable and relatable characters, it's incredible. This story was so wholesome, so full of happiness that I may or may not have shed a tear ;)

It's different from your sci-fi works, I like both a lot.

Thanks for sharing!

Ahh... You had a really good story going. It is well written and was sweet.. then you made her a porn whore?

You had me until the bisexual porn star

Looking forward to seeing a continuation of the story

As a former single father, I absolutely love the way the relationship between Adrian and Livvy developed. I have felt a lot of the same emotions and trepidations he went through - you captured that wonderfully.

This was good enough that I didnt really need to sex scene at the end. I appreciated it, but the story didnt need it to he great.

5 stars all day long!

Wonderful

Love the story...

Sounds like you don't plan on them being exclusive (though other females only, likely)... hope if that's so it doesn't mess up their dynamic.

Being 'sometimes Dad' and 'sometimes Mom' makes them at least 'sometimes husband' and 'sometimes wife' at this point.

Good up until the end reveal that she is a former pornstar with pictures of her all over the internet. This relationship isn’t going to last

Encore please! All of those ideas sound good.

Thanks

I like the characters and the genuine romance. 5-stars.

I'm of two minds WRT "further adventure" stories. Yeah, a Pal-entines Anniversary would be great for a proposal, or wedding or... But be careful about other possibilities. _There are two young children involved._. What happens when Francine finds out?

This is one of the best STORIES I have ever read! And there have been a number Olivia’s previous occupation was a bit of a surprise but not a bad thing. All in all a very entertaining read! GOOD JOB!!!!

Through the first 60% of the story you had 5*, but then the shine started to come off. I struggled a bit on how long it took for them to become romantically linked, but when you rolled out the bi porn star cards, I started to check out. Unless I missed it, he never went into detail about his first relationship, or was it marriage? Entertains lead, but if the LA story gets posted and it’s about threesomes I’ll pass. If nothing else, put it in EC and not in this genre. My two cents- 4.1*

Great story - well paced, excellent character development, believable relationship progress. A little spice with the porn industry pre-history. I could appreciate bringing some of her friends in, if you can shield the kids from the complications. Solid 5 star effort!

A good 4* story (took away a star for the drinking) until you made her a bisexual former porn star who still has sex with her female porn friends. After that BS, it sank completely into the toilet. The last 3 pages were just pure garbage. Wish I could give it an overall 0 rating but 1* is the worst I can do. Still, I think that too high a rating.

Very well written! I vote for the first and third ideas.

Realistic dialogue at each stage of the relationship.

I really love it when friends can become lovers.

Usually, I don't read stories this long, but I'm sure glad I read this one!

Appropriately awarded.

A real charmer of a story, and the sex is more than worth the wait. Highly recommended.

Sweet story but the dad saying he didn't mind if his daughter did porn and the pre sex "your cock is a good size" speech were both ludicrous

You’re one of my favorite writers to read and this story did not disappoint! Well done!

Great story!

5

This was a fun story, I liked the slow build.

My preference for these characters would be for them to remain exclusive.

Great story, hope to see more of them in the future.

There absolutely needs to be a follow up to this!

Truly enjoyed the slow burn effect! Would love the LA Birthday Trip as a follow up.

Fantastic. Well done.

Man, i loved this story up until all the big reveal of her being in pen and still having sec with women in porn. Why does anyone think that is sexy? Dude would have been smart to back away and run.

Your story is a fine example of how to build an erotic tale versus a stroke story. Nothing wrong with stroke stories, but they can't be erotic.

THANK YOU, AND WELL DONE!!

Be Well and Happy

Paul

Loved the story. Would also be great to read follow-ups. I'd vote for the Anniversary/ proposal story as the top priority. I'd also be OK to read about some group fun with her girlfriends in LA. It could work as a purely "fun" holiday only expansion. A way to give Olivia her girl fix, with her allowing Adrian to play along.

But, please don't bring other women in town into things. It'll cheapen what you have skillfully built up to be a truly meaningful relationship. I like your other "harem-type" stories, but this has been build in a much more realistic relationship, and it would be a shame to blow that up. (Just my opinion; I'm sure I'll read whatever you write.)

This is one of the few stories ruined by the sex. Until then it was beautiful.

Sex was hot but I would have loved t o see them keep the relationship hidden for a while, sneaking around almost getting caught. Build up was great

Great mix of comedy romance and sex.Definitely look forward to any of those 3 chapters To follow this episode

I like this story so much. Grown adults that are emotionally mature are so attractive

For a romance story, you started to lose me when Olivia said she is bisexual. At the end, neither stated that they were in love. Your footnotes regarding continuing the story with potentially lesbian sex and moresome sex really ruined the romance. 3*

A wonderful story. A perfect St. Valentine's Day submission. Of all the ones I've read, this is the best. Great character development. Great progression of the relationship. Great family dynamics. A fantastic gift for those who read this story. Thanks! K

Porn star? Been nice knowing you. Our morals clearly do not line up. And you have no regrets. Clearly we do not line up.

Great work …

Valentines Contest Winner is my vote!

This is very well done. I also vote for the sequals. I want to read about how June and May figure out that their parents are falling in love with each other, and how happy it makes them hoping to become sisters for real.

Good stuff. Maybe the LA trip next as some fantasy fulfillment and then Valentine’s a year later where they commit to each other.

Brilliant writing as always!

I have to agree with SeaSteve, Olivia's backstory being crammed in late, and having it be "I'm a bisexual ex-pornstar" is more than a little sour in an otherwise very sweet story.

It just didn't need to be there, other than setting up sequels, and none but the Anniversary one would properly fit with this story. I know the author has a porn kink (see: OF Girl) but not every story is suited for it.

I enjoyed the first 5 pages...

I enjoyed the story and characters. As someone suggested, the next episode a visit to the friends in LA, with the followup next Valentine's Day. Maybe the girls could pop the question to their parents?

I very much wanted to learn what happened after this night. How does their relationship progress? How do the kids take it? And the families?

When you didn’t deliver any of that, but simply ended where it did, I was disappointed. But, being a storyteller myself, after a few moments, I realized: JOB WELL DONE!

A readership or audience should always be left wanting more. Even the ancient Greeks knew this. Leaving the story where it did allowed my imagination to fill in all the blanks, and that’s the joy of intelligent readership. Their trajectory was set, and I was content to let the rest play out in my imagination.

Then, no doubt, sucking up to the deserved praise you’ve garnered for this story, you acquiesced to the lowest form of literature: a sequel.

I’ll certainly read it. But it will never compare to the genuine familial love these two lovers created.

But, the jerky-jerky boyz will, no doubt, love the sequels and your ratings will skyrocket.

Always play to the lowest common denominator. That’s the Trump playbook.

Really loved the buildup and time with the characters before the very hot consummation. I'd enjoy further chapters about Adrian and Livvy sneaking around to hide their hookups from the kids and community, getting frisky after the girl's bedtime, etc.

Sacharine story and run-of-the-mill OTT sex. Should do well with the American audience.

Absolutely fabulous story. Such good and realistic buildup, with a great payoff. As for story ideas, how about: The girls go to camp a state away for a long weekend/short week (they are too young for longer) and Adrian and Olivia use the time to have adult seduction Dating Time/Vacation Sex in a rented lakeside cabin, mountain chalet, or the like?

Nicely done! I’m not sure I quite believe how slow it all was, but it was a sweet read.

Looking forward to more.

Great story! I like all the ideas for follow-ups. Plus would love the story of their wedding and each adopting the others daughter to make the girls officially sisters.

Loved it. Thank you!

I loved the story I hope the updates or continuation come soon

I loved it, it was very cute, I enjoyed the early banter between Adrien and Olivia, and the scene with the girls talking about sharing their Mommy and Daddy hit me right in my soft spot. But then it went off the rails a little with the bisexuality, and hinting that it may continue… and the porn talk… didn’t care for the last third of the story.

Very cute ❤

So here I happily declare this to be by far the best story ever made on Literotica... There are 2 types of writers, some are really very good with the story and emotions and dialogue part and some are really good w/ the smut part, but you my boy are equally good at both. If this level continues you are surely gonna gain heights some day...

Besides all this appreciation, i do want this story to contiue as it has great great arc furthuer, so don'tyou dare leave it here!

Do option 3 for the follow up. You already mentioned it was a "hallmarky" story, so just sell out to it!

Some stories are improved by introducing more women for the narrator to fuck.

This one would not.

Olivia's bi - *shrug*. Some commenters really didn't like that, but *shrug*. It's understandable that she's a bit nervous about telling Adrian. And that she's a LOT nervous about telling him about her old job. And, for that matter, her *current* job.

And it's plausible that, as someone in the industry, she would have 'played' with a lot of the participants. And stayed in contact with them as a good friend and contract employee.

And then... she left. Moved away to raise her kid. Met a single dad and, over a period of several months, fell deeply in love. His family likes her, her family likes him, their kids are absolute best friends and already think of them as shared parents. They're sexually compatible to an amazing degree (obviously; this is a story, duh).

It feels like it would be a betrayal of who you've established the characters to be, for either of them to fuck anyone else.

It might be interesting to have him accompany her on a trip to California, where they both discover that they're a lot more uncomfortable with the idea than they thought they would be.

"This is Jenni, I've told her all about you."

"Hi, so nice to finally meet Livvy's boyfriend! Livvy, do you want us to do a threesome?"

"... um. That, uh... Liv, is this something you want?"

"... honestly, no. But I'm willing to do it if *you* want."

5 stars, but honestly it could have been 2 pages shorter, the sex scenes weren't bad but didn't add much to the story from my standpoint. Will follow this author, to see the sequels.

I get why the Romance crowd wants this tale to stay monogamous, but you tell your story the way you want, BTB.

MF+F can be plenty romantic if done right.

Small side-story suggestion: someone in Adrian's family (e.g. Rebecca's husband, or Parker) should find one of Olivia's videos and make things awkward for a while before they talk it out.

Great story. Do as many sequels as you like. All of your proposed ideas are good.

You could search for a long , long time to find a bi-woman who engaged in female to female porn and was about to enter into male-female porn. It would take just as long to find a guy whose wife was a drug mule and ended up in jail for 15 years. But to find them together would be astronomically improbable, but this author took these two unassuming people and put them together with two little girls of identical ages who became best friends. I know we're in Fantasyland were anything goes and the author is in charge and can create whatever strikes his/her fancy, but this was plain silly. And of course we had to have a mixed race background for the woman. At least this was creative. Perhaps Greek or some other Mediterranean mother with a Japanese father. I rated this at a 4*, but that was probably too high for out and out nonsense. It was obvious that the two MCs were going to connect, but after the start of the Valentine's Day date it seemed that the good sense of the two of them (and the author) completely disappeared and we got the goofy ending. It made for some jazzy conversation, but I would have preferred a little less "creativity" and something I could identify with at least a little. I just went back and found that I could change the rating to 3*, so I did.

Oh, please don't tease us with your additional story ideas! After reading this one and Masseur and the MILF I can't wait to see how those stories develop! As with most of the stories I've read from you, this is an easy five stars for me.

Needed a longer ending or an epilog.

Great Story. Please there must be MORE!!!

Not bad but rather tedious.

The first two thirds of this story might just be the best I've ever read. Ended a bit suddenly, though...

nice romantic start then degraded with Bi porn 2*

Great story. You build character and love, though the sex is great the story is great even without the sex depictions

Another Bar Banger!! Fantastic work as always