All Comments on 'Paris France'

by Fiddlesticks49

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  • 66 Comments
LarrynDallasLarrynDallasabout 2 years ago

Sadly realistic. Well written. Thank you for sharing your talents.

AngelRiderAngelRiderabout 2 years ago

I liked it. Never marry someone who doesn't respect you and that girl definitely didn't respect the Josh. All those shots about his masculinity are telling.

francemanfrancemanabout 2 years ago

Very good story, even if I find that the guy has a behavior of Saint.

He never shouts, never gets angry, never groans......

And she has a completely twisted attitude and thought.

How can she not say or justify that her betrayal will be for her wonderful memories of her future life.

Ridiculous and stupid.

And you're absolutely right, the French are wonderful lovers, and also big liars.🤣🤣

PowersworderPowersworderabout 2 years ago

It was a good story, but you missed a very important detail.

Josh never slept with Betty, because she was making him wait for her wedding night. He tried repeatedly to get her into bed, but she never had sex with him. When she gave it up to some random french guy after turning Josh down for years, his reaction would've been much, much worse.

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Betty didn't just cheat on him, she gave her virginity to another guy, after turning Josh down for years. That level of betrayal would hurt a guy to his core, and there's no way in hell he would have a calm conversation with her after finding out what she'd done. They were also teenagers, with raging hormones and turbulent emotions. Instead of his long monologue with her about commitment, the dialogue would've been more like this:

..

"You made me wait for years to have sex, but you fucked the first French guy you met! I fucking hate you, you goddamn whore!"

-

It wasn't clear if he'd slept with one of the previous girls he dated before Betty, but if he was still a virgin, his reaction would've been 10x worse.

LenardSpencerLenardSpencerabout 2 years ago

Nice story although there wasn't much of a finish. If he was engaged to Betty, even asking her to make sure she wore her engagement ring in Paris, then why didn't he make an issue of removing the ring from her finger when he broke things off with her? It's the symbolic aspect of removing the ring to breaking the engagement. Plus, he didn't mention during the breakup that they were meant to be saving themselves until they were married. ie They were both virgins. Yet she lost her virginity when she repeatedly fucked her French Lover. She denied her fiance but gave it to a stranger! Why?

Anyway, well written. Thank you. Cheers.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Do yourself a favor. get an editor. Your back and forth between first and third person made it hard to read,

SkubabillSkubabillabout 2 years ago

Pretty good story except for a fairly lame ending

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 2 years ago

I'm sure this story will draw criticism that it's not about a wife. Who cares? It's a good story about a cheater in the making. Her "it was just a fling" attitude will repeat itself later in marriage. He got lucky and found out early. Good story!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

sadly no commentary on the change in her virginal status and the inherent meaning and worth to one another in that.

phill1cphill1cabout 2 years ago

idk, I just find these types of "conflict unresolved" less than satisfying. it'd be one thing if the seduction was better described or his courtship to his wife. Really, just a sob story...

A01butal75A01butal75about 2 years ago
Hmm

maybe this might be a better fit in Romance than LW, but I still liked it although it was a bit predictable. 5*

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xabout 2 years ago

When you leave off the "g" in words ending in "ing," it's customary to replace it with an apostrophe.

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Your quoting her, but she's saying "they" instead of "we."

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The cheating is bad enough, but this is after she insisted that they wait until they were married to have sex.

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Her "cherishing" her memories is big.

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Too much narration, too much telling what people said instead of showing them saying it.

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I assume he got his ring back?

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xabout 2 years ago

After ten years, Betty was still single?

mattenwmattenwabout 2 years ago

Good story, well told and addresses what many readers want me to say: engagement is a marriage promise and at the same time means loyalty, respect and love for the partner. This is not overridden by New York, Paris, Rome or Tokyo!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Good enough for a 4. Which is better than Fiddlesticks49 did on the previous 2 stories. A little bloodless, this, but also realistic. Josh made the right decision, and the author leaves it open as to what wound up happening to Betty relationship-wise. One would hope she didn't do nearly as well as he did.

QM

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

This sounds about right.

I've lived in the rural west a long time.

She wouldn't have sex with her fiancé before marriage. But goes to Paris and fucks some asshole for 3 weeks? And expects him to just forget it?

Where I live? No way that's acceptable. She just ruined her marriage before it even happened. Stupid bitch.

Enjoy those memories of Paris.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Grats on not being dumb enough to give the cheating slut another chance to ruin your life far worse as a wife than she ever could as a skanky girlfriend.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

I wish the author would have addressed the issue of Betty wanting to be a virgin on her wedding night, then changing her mind and losing it to someone other than her fiance. I was waiting for that conversation.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Betty is a tunnel cunted whore. They start early in Texas.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcabout 2 years ago

Good story overall. You need to work on some of the narrative and adding more depth to the plot and character interactions. You had a mention about the first time he and his wife had sex was not very good. Based on the story, she would have been his first. If it wasn't, you should have had some narrative explaining it at least. The back half was "conclusive" but was kind of flat - matter of fact. 4* overall (rounding up - LOL)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

So, all Josh had to do was ask Betsy if she would be OK with him going to France for a month and fucking some women while he was there. Betsy's commitment is based on opportunity, circumstances and social context.

imhaplessimhaplessabout 2 years ago

Should be rated higher; 5*.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

She wouldn't have sex before marriage so I presume she was a virgin? Then it follows she gave her virginity to the French boyfriend. One hell of a betrayal.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

What's the purpose of this story? Why is it on a website all about SEX stories? You really just spent hours writing this to prove...what? That you aren't a cuck? That you're a 'real man? Jesus Christ, it's fucking pathetic that people living their lives in their own way make you feel so insecure about yourself that you feel the need to write this.

hindsight2020hindsight2020about 2 years ago

Lacks the ability to produce a suspension of disbelief.

Or, if you do not understand this basic tenant of writing, you fail to make the reader buy in to your fantasy world.

You need to make the fantasy at least a little bit tenable.

You did not.

This would never happen even in an extreme alternative universe.

People are who they are.

You can't just make it up as you go and expect the reader to buy it if you do not sell it.

You are not a sales person.

At least not for this.

silentsoundsilentsoundabout 2 years ago

Ah, a story of a deluded slut.

Denied her fiance and gave her virginity to an asshole then expects her "love" to get Frenchie's leftovers.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Unless I missed something, she was still a virgin when she went to France. I guess she learned to surrender on her first field trip: she dropped her pants as fast as the French army drop their rifles. No remorse except that "... girls just can't keep their damn mouth closed." Stark evidence of her true feelings for him.

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The fact that she offered her virginity to someone she barely knew, while insisting her fiancé had to wait for the honeymoon for sex, is telling. Breaking up was the smart and natural result. There's nothing about this woman, or their relationship, that held any value: the first time either was tested, ended in complete failure for both.

.

You need to put more feeling into your writing, it's rather bland, but that doesn't mean you should write more about him crying. There are a lot of emotions besides "crying". We don't see a lot of men crying, especially in West Texas, where it's too damn hot to get too worked up about some cheap floozy who screwed a frog the first chance she got.

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Use your words: what feelings would YOU go through if you were your character? You've been together practically your whole life... no sex... she goes to France for a month and screws the local swine? No sex for you after years and years, but Pierre gets laid the first week??? Think about it. Was there EVER any doubt about breaking up? Didn't he wonder why she wasn't interested in spending time with him after a month away? Dude, there's a lot of rage and pain in this story that never gets mentioned, and that's the best part.

Cardswin2011Cardswin2011about 2 years ago

OK story, but didn’t belong in Loving Wives.

TajfaTajfaabout 2 years ago

I liked this but found the ending to be a bit short.

10 years is a long time and I felt she should have had more to say by way of apologies and regret.

Had she married and if not why not?

Still a 4 star story for me

VeracityHeterodyneVeracityHeterodyneabout 2 years ago

I enjoyed it. Keep writing. I noticed that the protagonist’s language evolved from country hick to sophisticated. I don’t mind a few slang words or phrases. I enjoy the sentence structure of some of our English-as-a-second-language writers. However, the readers here are erudite. We do not enjoy long or multiple sentences of improper English.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

“I will never see Michael again but will have these memories I will treasure forever."

.

And with that little gem, Betty buried her hopes for marriage to Josh forever. Being engaged is, formality-wise, the same as being married WRT sexual exclusivity. To be engaged and then to fuck someone else is as bad as to cheat while married. The only difference is that tne cheated upon party can get out of the relationship quickly and completely without the legal hassles.

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The story would have been better had it revealed a bit more about how Betty fared. Josh landed on his feet. But we never learned how Betty did….but at least she’ll always have her Paris memories 😎

.

4 ****

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Nice story , a change of pace .a original story .

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

She wanted to wait to make the wedding night special. Then she gets her brains screwed out by some French rando. Comes back and is clearly planning to act like nothing happened.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

An okay story but not much to do with the loving wives category. A failed teenage romance, no real cheating since they weren't married and then they both moved on. An average life's tale. Really kind of boring.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Too long and too much agonizing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago
He did the right thing

good read - keep them coming

PeterPanicPeterPanicabout 2 years ago

Betty was all about Betty. She had no clue why he was hurt. She rationalized it as “it was Paris.” Its a good thing he did not overlook this because its likely that her selfishness would rise to the surface again. I feel his pain.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Someone who knows what to do with a cheating partner. Why marry them if you know they have cheated on you before. Once and done is the best rule.

GarySmith69GarySmith69about 2 years ago

Not bad. A fiancé that stuck by his principles. Surprising on this site.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

This was an interesting read. But, I think the part of the story regarding waiting for the wedding night mentioned early on not being touched on during the time when Josh was debating what to do was a miss. That could have added a lot of complexity to the debate on how deep the betrayal was.

26thNC26thNCabout 2 years ago

Very good story. When even the cheater’s father gives tacit approval to your decision to break up, then you have made the right choice. She had an “innocent “ fling that meant nothing to her, but everything to him.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

I agree with what he said and did. I can see her point of not being married but an engagement is serious business and you don't cheat. Her father should explain to her that how she talks so fondly of Paris cuts her guy every time and brings pain. Why she couldn't see it from his point of view is crazy.

Moving on as he did was right as it was stated very well that for years to come every argument will be a reason he mentions Paris and they will eventually divorce. Not sure why he would have to leave. I think a majority would be on his side and her slut reputation would be well known.

Dittybopper6989Dittybopper6989about 2 years ago

Interesting story, I enjoyed the read. Knew the ending once a trip to France was mentioned.

jackheadjackheadabout 2 years ago

5 stars. I liked the fact that you have returned to your original line of thinking after writing the sequel to the feb sucks on going seeeeeeeeequels! This story wasn't a bloody outcome but the cheating fiancee got what she really ask for. Betty really doesn't understand what commitment means or she don't give a shit and thought that her future hubby was still waiting for her in nowhere west Texas and would have eventually cheated on him after they were married, given just the right romantic setting!

LickideesplitLickideesplitabout 2 years ago

You need an editor! This tale had great potential, but there are numerous problems in the wordsmithing. Misspellings*, grammar issues, repetitions, timing ambiguity, and illogic. And the ending does not deal with a factor with which the We-The-Readers deserve to have closure!

* Barley is a grain used to make Scotch whisky and many beers.

Barely is the word you wanted … it was not the worst problem.

3*

iameaseliameaselabout 2 years ago

I didnt find it bad, but it was a bit too easy for him to figure it out, so in some respects it was too cliched.

And you should stop using the same lines that nearly most every writer uses, which only makes it seem like you try to dumb women down even more than is needed in these stories, which is" Don't throw away what we have over your male macho hurt feelings."

Thats a line that has seen very little use in the real world but writers here take their queue's from other writers no matter how bad they are.

MonsieurXMonsieurXabout 2 years ago

Not much there there. A bit sloppy with details. Story is supposed to have taken place before cell phones, but he gets calls that he lets go to voicemail? He worked for his uncle, but gives notice to his boss?

RedPillRedPillabout 2 years ago

Good story. Josh dodged a bullet, discovering that he and Betty were incompatible in fundamental ways, before it was too late.

Rocky62Rocky62about 2 years ago

Good clean to the point…. Id break it off with her too. Go back to your Paris fairy tale

chilleywilleychilleywilleyabout 2 years ago

Moral of the story, how you going to keep them down on the farm when they’ve seen gay Paree? She should have left West Texas and her high school boyfriend. Go to Austin, Seattle…and enjoy life. But as written, she has no get up and go, mores the pitty

InfosaugerInfosaugerabout 2 years ago

So she wouldn't give up her cherry for her future husband over a long time, but for a french man within days?

What happens when she has to travel for a job to Paris or Rome? Does she expect to be allowed to cheat then?

SomeOneTwoThreeSomeOneTwoThreeabout 2 years ago

I liked it.

Dealing with making right decisions,

even though they hurt.

But the story was a little limited.

Needed more colors.

4 out of 5 from me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Fuck Betty. Oh wait, someone already has.

nixroxnixroxabout 2 years ago

3 stars and at least they were not married YET.

Another great example demonstrating why the institution of marriage needs to be abolished.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

I can guarantee you that there are plenty a married man going through divorce is right now who wish they were able to dodge a bullet like the young man in this story. It always pays to know ahead of time if your future wife it's just going to be a Future cheating Slut,whore. By the way, the MC not being able to have respect or trust in his s***** cheating fiance has nothing to do with this poor male ego has to do with the small miniscule little female ego known as vanity.

ElPoncho413ElPoncho413almost 2 years ago

I was exited to read your work. Your most of your characters are well developed and support the story line. I like your plots and your pacimg is excellent. The only [problem I have is that I cant wait for your next submission. The only suggestion I have is a sequel explaining what really happened in Pareee

GuyfromShadesGuyfromShadesover 1 year ago

Enjoyed the story. Trust is everything. Thanks for your writing.

DickSnugfitDickSnugfitover 1 year ago

Enjoyed reading this little ditty, thank you! In my humble opinion though, I found it difficult to believe that West Texas Joe ((Josh? -really? are you SURE?)) was ever in two minds about ditching the selfish, self-centred Cow!

That he felt torn was normal, in the circumstances, they'd been together forever! So that was only to be expected, that is how heartbreak makes you feel, - HE had had NOBODY ELSE, ever! Neither we are lead to believe, had she! - . On page one, we read:

"Now being the all-American red blooded American male, I would occasionally try to get into Betty's panties. We would on occasion participate in some heavy petting and would almost go all the way but there was a line where Betty would call a halt and say no. She said she was all mine but our wedding night was going to be special and I would just have to wait.-I tried and tried and tried but she was adamant. I would sometimes sulk and get angry and rant and rave but deep down I was really proud of her. She was going to be a wonderful wife." . . . . .

So, she was saving herself for marriage, constantly denying her affianced, -goes to Paris a VIRGIN, and returns to her fiancé thoroughly broken-in? a 2nd-hand Tart? then tells him to "Get over it"

He did right to verbally insist on her admission of guilt, but should have retorted to her "Big-Boy's Pants" taunt with "Whatever I may wear, is way better than Whore's Knickers! You revelled in giving your fiancé Blue Balls, but threw your Virginity away on a holiday hook-up! You are NOT the SAME BETTY that I loved so whole-heartedly as you left me for your dreamworld flight-of-fantasy! HE was your memorable first, -not me, I just get the consolation prize! Stuff your Big-Boy Pants, Fuck-off back to France, - we are DONE, finito!"

R.S.

ScorpioJJScorpioJJover 1 year ago

He did the right thing. She had no remorse and will always have those special memories along with her 20 cats to keep her warm at night. He should have told her to give back the ring.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Pretty good story. And better ending. 4 stars from me. Maybe 1, to one and a half from Betty. Shit doesn't always just happen, sometimes it needs a force to propel it along. Force from both sides ends up with your story. Well written. Keep it up. Thank you. S. F.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Betty was stupid and self centered.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

Good on him. The smart move.

Betty: "It's not really cheating; besides it was just a short fling that is now over. I will never see Michael again but will have these memories I will treasure forever."

====> umm just wow. Zero remorse. If they had gotten married imagine how easily she would cheat, despite her protestations to the contrary. Especially hurts because she (supposedly) wad militant about maintaining her virginity till their wedding to make their first time epic. Well she gave that easily and gotten ridden hard for most of the month long trip, hence she looked like shit when she got back. She must have felt some guilt, hence her difficulty in engaging with the MC when she got back. But of course she was too prideful to admit that and created her Paris defense. But besides cheating and coughing up her virginity, she clearly showed no remorse and talked about treasuries her memories. That last sentiment, which she repeated several times I'd execrable and precluded reconciliation. It is thr same vomitous excrement that Linda said in her letter to Jim in February Sucks about her night screwing Marc thr Asshole. Nah there was no hope here for them. If anything she was insulted that he would break up with her for her choices and breaking his trust. Claiming he had to put on

his big boy pants and get over his male pride. She took a page from almost any of the loving wives featured in Cagivagurl's stories. Unlike the other males, the MC here was smart and found another better love.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

"I will always treasure the memories of my time in Paris..."

So, she will always treasure the memories of her two weeks of cheating on her fiancé. What a narcissistic cunt. My man did right by dumping her and moving away for something better.

Anonymous
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