All Comments on 'Party of Five Ch. 04'

It's moving along well can't wait for the next chapter

The 4 chapters are good, but why write under incest/taboo when nothing is happen? If you are going to title it under incest/taboo atleast make something happen with the brother and sisters. B/c all you have them doing is fighting with each other. which are good fights but still.

I think your public is getting restless. This is after all a Lit"erotic" site. Time for some action. TJ

I like this getting to know the characters. Build a story give a reason for passion.

I like the story, but your taking it too slow to get there, 'specially since you've been putting it in the Incest section, and nothing has really happened.

Your story is fine. I enjoy a story with a detailed and long build up. You are letting us see the characters as real people and not just as fuck toys. Keep up the good work.

Hey,

Don't listen to these impatient people. Take your time & allow the story to develop. A lot of people just scan the stories & look for their topic & just want it to get to the "good stuff" by the third paragraph. I like your story & I like this build up! Keep it going & I'm sure that when the "incest" does happen, it'll be very very hot!!!

Absolutely wonderful chapter, keep building believability, you kept it in the POV (point of view) of Josh!!!!!!!! Well done.

As for me, given good writing I?m willing to wait, but one way of dealing with the impatient crowd who want the sex is to have Josh dream of sex, or imagined sex without it actually happening ? suddenly ? afterwards -- he wakes up and what we thought was him having sex was just his dreaming of his sister etc. This would heighten the pull and desire for his sisters and still leave us in a place ?before the real sex? etc.

Regarding Dawn, don?t let the ice queen melt too quickly. Think about it, a lifetime of quarrelling is hard to end after one heartfelt moment, but I liked seeing the crack in the wall between these two ? certainly there will be more than a little bit of mistrust as both have read part of each other?s diary now.

I read some of your other stories ? this is by far your best to date!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really hot stuff, as this seems real.

keep goining it really getting good hope there is another chapter soon!!

one of the best on the site, can't wait for the next installment!

... almost like the author was the only male growing up in the midst of a gaggle of females.

I have only 'discovered'this series recently and,like all good stories,the characters seem real.They act(and react) in the way that real people would.I am really enjoying reading it.

I like the setting and storie plot (since my name is Josh), but you don't need these stories on this site unless they start getting Lit"EROTIC".

Who the fuck really cares. I'm getting a real feel for these people. You know, like it's a REAL family! You are doing fine. Forget the rabble with their dicks in their mouths. I Like the story so far. I can feel the REAL sexual tension biting me on the ass!

Excellent!! fantastic!! real. None of the crap where in one page we go from nothing to some booze up and sex. Excellent development and a bit of a tour. Anticipation is real and the length fabulous. more please

This is *brilliant* writing! Human characters, acting naturally in honest situations, and very real and diverse and likable the lot of them. One writer to another I doff my hat - I'm seriously impressed.

But you are wasting words establishing character traits and painting your pretty little picture of the family, that you are neglecting the plot. It's slow, and getting slower. Especially with the smaller chapters. You need to keep things moving, and keep the characters active, rather than replay the same scene over and over: that of Josh arguing with one of his sisters. Don't get me wrong, it's pleasant to read, it just fails to be either erotic or a powerful piece of work... Which is what I expect after this amount of chapters. Learn to keep the plot simple before you worry about snappy characterization or complex relationships. In short: your spending far too much time indulging in 'emotional masturbation'.

The bickering siblings coming to love each other is by now a trope; this one is particularly well done.

Just because boys dont cry much doesnt mean they dont hurt. Stupid sexist story. I think ill quit for now. I wont vote only.

and I am still reading this story. This story... It breaths, it speaks, it evolves around the character. Not once, not even once have I thought she wouldn't do that or he wouldn't say that. It's a brother sister relationship that I find both likely and plausible even in real life. The characters are so quirky and distinct its... It's refreshing. As to why this only here I will never know, nor complain about. It's been a while, ten years almost, but I feel this hasn't reached a conclusion. I don't usually feel wrong. If you could continue this, hell even leave something that lets People know that you've let this go, it would be fantastic.